APOV

His familiar smell reached me as his lips were so close to mine. His brown eyes hypnotized me and I was unable to think. His lips touched mine I completely forgot how to breathe!

At first I was thinking WTF is going on? My heart thudded uncontrollably in my chest as I kissed him back. My hands grasped his short dark hair and his arms slid to my waist pulling me closer. I saw pink and purple striped elephants floating behind my eyelids. Oh snap I'm hallucinating!

Someone clearing their throat and a loud booming voice brought me back to my senses. I quickly pulled away and got up like nothing happened

Carlisle, Esme, and Emmett stood by the living room entrance. Carlisle looked at me questioningly and Esme smiled happily. I blushed even worse than Bella. Emmet was laughing and finally managed to speak, "Well, well, well. Look at that! Now we have another blushing human and her mythical boyfriend." I opened my mouth to speak, to say something witty and filled with attitude, but nothing came out. For once in my whole freakin life I was speechless. I glanced at Paul out of the corner of my eye and saw a guarded expression on his face. His eyes looked sad and I wanted to kiss him again. WTF times 2 quadrillion! That's a number right? I wasn't sure of anything anymore.

I looked at everyone, blinked a bunch of times and quickly ran to my room. I was so confused. I tried to get my thoughts and feelings in order but it wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. There were so many questions running through my head. Why did I kiss him back? Do I like him that way? Should I like him that way? What was going to happen now?

"URGH! Stupid vampires and hot werewolves! They complicate everything!" I yelled. I fell backwards on my bed and stared at the ceiling. After a while there were a few tentive knocks on my door. I sighed and got up.

Outside my bedroom door was Jasper with a weak smile on his face. Drat. He was going to talk about my feelings. I hated talking about that crap. I pouted and motioned for him to come in, then closed the door to give us privacy. Not that was possible in a house full of vampires. Every time I flushed the toilet I felt self-conscious. Maybe it should be sound proof! I am so smart!

I sat on my bed next to Jasper and waited for him to talk. I realized that I hadn't really talked to him since I got here and felt bad. Now I felt worse. Thanks a lot Jasper.

"Alice sent me to make sure your okay," was the first thing he said. I looked at him incredulously.

"Oh yeah," I said sarcastically, "I'm feeling the best I've felt in years! Everything is happening just like I expected it to. I'm not confused and I totally just didn't kiss someone that has become a close friend to me. There is NOTHING I'm worried about right now, so yeah. I'm great!" I growled at the end of my rant and felt bad again for snapping at Jasper.

"Allison," he started in calmly, "In order for me to help you, you have to help yourself."

"WHAT THE FU-"

"LANGUAGE!" yelled Esme from downstairs. Like I said no privacy.

"Fine. WHAT THE HECK IS THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN!"

"You have to get your feelings in order to understand what would be best for you."

"That's the problem," I sighed in defeat, "I've tried!" I felt the weird stinging in my eyes that meant something feared by any Allison. Tears. I would not cry!

"How about you tell me what you felt when you kissed Paul."

I took at deep breath, "At first I felt . . . happy. I wanted to kiss him. Then I felt scared," I whispered. I wasn't normally scared by anything.

"Why were you scared?" Jasper whispered looking intently at me. I turned away from him as the tears finally overflowed from my eyes. Crap. This was turning like one of those sad drama/romance stories. I hated that almost as much as I hated Kristen WeIrDo. That little doo doo head had no acting skills what so ever. I liked the real Bella much better.

"I know I can't stay here forever. I'll have to leave eventually and it could be any day. I can't get attached to anyone that's here. I'll just have to leave it behind."

"Maybe you should have fun and be with him before you leave. Otherwise you'd resent yourself for not doing so when you get back."

It was a crazy idea. So crazy . . . It just might work! I grinned at Jasper and tackled him onto the floor in a big hug.

"Thank you! You make so much sense!" and he did make sense almost as much as Justin Bieber songs! I was about to tell him that when a shriek filled the house. Alice ran into the room with gleaming eyes and grabbed my hand.

Authors Note: sorry for not updating in a while! But thanks for being patient! except CaitlinB54 . . . lol love all your reviews