Okay, first off... SORRY FOR TEH WAIT MAH HOMIES! T^T I make up for with this? PWEETY PWEASE? :3 Please... I am so so SO very very VERY SORRY...
Secondly, there's a bit of mature insinuation in here... I have no idea if it's that bad or anything, but you tell me please? A mild warning perhaps? I dunno, homies.
Thirdly, well, I can't remember. Oh well(: How about... Dedicated to all good-natured trolls? xD
A bit o'knowledge on Charlotte's life, heavy trollin', and the death of a... well, let's just say an amusing video. Add in a sprinkle of magic and a dash of awkward fluff, and we've got ourselves CHAPTAH SEVEN.
I really hope all my homies out there enjoy, and will give me advice on this... in other words... TELL ME IF IT'S POOP OR NOT PLEASE~(:
"So, there's one day dedicated to this every year?"
"Yeah, but never the same day, otherwise she'd be prepared. But TCD doesn't technically starting until tomorrow... oh well."
Two figures stood in the dark of the room, their sleeping prey just steps away. They closed in on her, accessories in place, and gently nudged her awake. At first, all the girl did was mumble something about ponies and muffins and proceeded to squeeze her pillow tighter.
"I told you that wouldn't work."
"I guess it's necessary to hit her awake then."
They looked down at her, burgandy hair everywhere and snoring lightly.
SLAP!
Charlotte sat up quickly, pillow flying up. It came down on her sleepy face, startling her. The two intruders quickly set themselves in attack positions, waiting for her to notice them. Finally, after a few moments of confusion, her sleepy grey eyes found them; and shot open.
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
The sound resounded throught the house, followed by multiple loud thumps and scurrying. Benson and Pops, at the top of the stairs talking, nearly fell down. Mordecai dried his hands quickly in the bathroom and rushed out. Seconds later, a blur of burgandy shot out from a doorway and barreled into the one closest to the door- which just happened to be Benson- knocking them to the floor. His hand automatically snaked around her waist as they fell.
She wrapped her arms around him and cried out, the sound muffled as her face was pressed into him. Following her escape was a beat up Rigby, a mask hanging off one ear, and a laughing Luna with spooky yellow snake-eye contacts in. She was wheezing, nearly choking, the guffaws getting caugh in her throat as she slid down the wall.
"Will someone explain to me what's GOING ON?" Benson yelled over Charlotte and Luna's noises.
Luna stilled completely... before snickering. "Well, me and Rigs played a prank. I'm the only one that came out on top, though." She shot a pointed look at both Rigby and Charlotte. "I was not pranked, or punched in the face by a scaredy-cat, which I knew would happen."
"THAT'S why you whined about being Snape?" Rigby groaned, throwing his head back.
"Duh. If I wear the contacts, yeah it freaks her out, but the Snape mask scares her AND makes her lash out. A better scare, but painful for me because she hits hard. I mean, just look at your face, dude!"
Rigby felt his face and winced. A large bruise was forming around his eye and part way down his cheek. He ran into the bathroom in a swish of black cloaks, slamming the door on himself. Charlotte yawned. She had been quiet during all this and really felt like strangling them, but needed more sleep for it. She yawned again. Why is it everytime she decided to head to bed early , Luna had to pull something? She snuggled closer to Benson, enjoying the sensation, seriously deflated of any energy or remaining fear/anger.
Mordecai was currently busting a gut, him and Luna rolling around with laughter on the floor. Pops, not really sure what was going on, laughed in puzzlement. "Oh, friends, what on earth just happend?"
Benson rolled his eyes at the antics from his place on the floor. The warm weight of Charlotte in his arms wiggled, causing an unwanted blush to bloom across his cheeks. He looked down to see...
"What the hell? She fell asleep!"
Feeling incredibly put-upon, he hefted her into his arms bridal style and carried her to her bed. Jeez, I haven't blushed this much since I was a teenager!
The next day, the two idiots were at it again, waiting until she was comfortable and in the middle of one of her favourite books.
The right-hand window was covered with a gigantic poster,purple like those of the Ministry, but emblazed with-
"Hey, Lottie, hey, hey!"
- flashing yellow letters.
Why are you worrying about You-Know-Who?
You should be worrying about U-No-Poo-
The constipation sensation that's gripping the naition!
He-
"Hey, hey Lottie. HEY. Heyyyy~"
- started to laugh. He heard a weak sort of groan beside him and looked around to see-
"HEY LOTTIE. Hey, hey, hey. Hey. Hey. Hey Lottie! HEY LOOOOOTIIIIIIEEEE HE-"
"WHAT!" Slamming her book closed, Charlotte bellowed loudly at the turds daring to interrupt her story.
"Hi." Luna and Rigby giggled like the conspirators they were before scurrying out of the room.
Giving up on her book,Charlotte let her head fall to the back of the couch she was curled up on. Uh-oh.. it's TCD, isn't it? This was gonna be one long day.
"I can't believe you did all that!" the voice over the phone laughed. Luna joined in as she answered.
"Yeah you can, Brad, don't lie."
"That's beside the point. Now, what's the next annoyance? We only have one day, so-"
"Well, bro... So far, yesterday night was the Snape one, the interruptions on her book readings, twice, then I poured strawberry syrup in the chocolate container- you know how much she loves strawberry syrup..." Luna ticked them all off of her list.
A chuckle over the phone made her pause. "Sarcasm. Nice."
Luna giggled at Brad "I replaced her travel coffee cup with a neon pink one sporting Snow White, practically gave her a heart attack when I had Ribgy jump out at her when she went to the store with Benson- seriously, and she practically strangled him- and have set up an auto play on the tv for in a few minutes; there all watching something right now and they'll see it... I found the tape of her drunken escapades at a bar one birthday. She had it hiding in her underw-"
"Please stop, that's my sister... Ewww..." Brad made gagging noises on the other end and an unmistakably feminine voice was heard, followed by his feverish whisper. "Shh, Lyndsay!"
A pause, before Luna ignore the voice. "Anyway..." She drew out the word. "I've done all that and it's only noon!"
"Awesome. I can be there after, um, this. Yeah, so, in a couple of hours. This is gonna be the best Troll Charlotte Day ever!"
"Agreed bro, agreed"
Luna hung up the phone and traipsed downstairs. She hummed the troll anthem under her breath as she headed for the living room. Taking a seat on the floor next to Rigby, she noticed Charlotte, looking quite harassed and a tad nervous shoving herself into the couch cushions. Her eyes were a bit on the wild side, but really, who could blame her? She had locked one arm through Benson's, as though getting ready to use him as a sheild, causing him to blush and become irritated, trying to gently losen her hold every five minutes.
The attention of the other three was on the television; Normal Program was on, and the gang never missed a new episode. There's alwasy Luna looked at the clock on the wall. Five, four, three, two...
Suddenly the screen changed to a choppily filmed home video. The picture kept swiveling from a laughing racoon wearing a pink shirt with a star on it leaning on a chortling red squirrel to a barely-dressed red robin, purple partridge and burgandy-haired human waving their drinks around like flags. Luna's recorded voice blared through the speakers, along with random background noises of clanking glasses, crappy music, and lots of yelling.
The video zoomed in on the racoon and squirrel. "Okay, Star, Meagera- dude! Hey, you stupid turds, pay attention!" The two ignored her. "Gah, I can't belive I'm related to you, Star... Okay I turned on the recorder."
"Good, there they go!" The racoon on screen, Star, pointed to the side as she and Meagera busted up laughing again. The camara swung to the human, robin, and partridge, dressed in their bras and short-shorts, swaying on a table. They were supporting each other and attempting to belt out "I Want Your Sex" by George Micheals. They would've done great if they didn't keep stopping to giggle and send kisses to people still standing on the floor.
"Lu, I hope you keep this as blackmail! there's no way Charlotte, Margaret, or Vayda will ever live this down!"
Off-screen, an enraged Charlotte finally gathered her wits and lunged at the screen, stopped halfway by Luna. Mordecai and Benson's attention was unwavering from the images, their heads losing oxygen. A quick skirmish and the video was out of the VCR as the girls were starting to really dance. Charlotte picked up the video and slammed it into the wall until it was completely ruined. She then piled up all the peices and took them into the kitchen, where it was shoved forcefully into the garbage disposal. She flipped a switch and a delightful crunching sound was heard.
Poor Rigby had been squished in the short cat-fight and was laying facedown in a daze underneath a battered, barely conscious Luna. Pops had simply become uncomfortable when the video started and had left saying something about his tea burning.
"Another successful trolling, I'd say!" Luna chuckled before her head fell back.
"She's a pretty good sport about it, I must say." Mordecai mumbled. Luna had finally told them what the hell had been going on all day. He stretched his wings out, apologizing as he hit Skips in the face. A grunt from the yeti let him know it was cool.
Luna actually looked dumbfounded. "Of course she is! It's a long-standing tradition with us. The day itself started in sixth grade, when we met. But the whole idea behind stemmed from a reoccuring complaint of hers. She and her brothers hated April first with a passion, since she was seven years old. Don't get me wrong; they loved the pranks and junk, just hated the day."
"Why did they hate it?"
"Well..." Luna looked uncomfortable, shifting in her seat at the kitchen table. She debated telling them, but from the look on Rigby's face, they'd only ask Charlotte if she didn't explain. She sighed. "That's when their mom pulled a bitch move and just, well, left the five of them- her, her brothers and their dad. So. Just, er, Troll Days."
Everyone at the table had a momentary look of sadness on their faces for their friend. To break the awkward silence, Benson spoke up. "Doews everyone of you guys have a troll day?" The rest of they guys gave her a questioning look.
She rolled her eyes. "We've all got one, but Charlotte's the most fun to troll. I'd just like to say, right now, that I came up with the idea, so everyone bow to me... and buy me some chocolate. Anyways. Paul's days are usually stupid phone calls- since he's always gone- Mark's are practically nonexistant because his scary boyfriend is protective of him, and me and Brad are normally one step ahead of the game. Joey was a baby when it started, but he's freakishly involved in his sports since he's going to college soon, so never has time. Seth is twelve and only interested in building things. Star is too girly to be allowed into the Troll Wars, and Margaret and Vayda- while they mean well- are just not really all that good."
"My stars!" Exclaimed Pops."How many siblings does Charlotte have?"
"Three older brothers, two little brothers, and me and my twin Star. Don't speak Rigby, it makes you less cute. I know me and Charlotte aren't blood sisters, but we call each other sister."
"Ha, you admit I'm cute."
"Do not! I said you were less cute when you spoke. Big difference."
"Whatever, you like me."
"In the words of Charlotte; 'Homie, you MUST be trippin'!'"
"In the words of ME; 'you totally like me!'"
Luna stuck her tongue out, trying hard not to smile. After calling him and idiot, the two burst out into laughter. She slapped him on the arm and ran out, screaming with laughter as he chased her.
"Ah, young love..." Pops said in an airy voice, causing Mordecai to snicker. Pops turned a mild glare on the blue jay. "What is so funny about the joys of young love?"
Mordecai raised an eyebrow. "Rigby doesn't know the meaning of the word 'love', so it's just funny... why are you glaring at me!"
"Everyone knows what love means! Benson, my good man, surely you know what love i-"
Benson stood and raises a hand to stop him. "Please, I'd rather stay uninvolved."
He picked up his coffee and left, the beginings of a borderline philisophical conversation starting. He sipped at his coffee, immensely glad he finished all of today's paperwork yesterday. There was, apparently, a lot going on today with Charlotte. Would she get so scared again and run into his arms like yesterday night? Realizing where his thoughts were taking him, he shook his reddening head. Suddenly, he tripped over something lying in the hall. Coffee went flying, he went falling, and a small 'eep!' came from the figure Benson landed on. He lifted himself up to come face to face with a frazzled Charlotte.
Charlotte started giggling when Benson's face went blank. She was unable to stop the flush that bloomed on her face and the giggles bubbling out. HIs blank face turned to slight annoyance. "What's so funny?" He demanded from over her.
She snorted, completely helpless from her laughter."You just look kinda adorable!"
Benson rolled his eyes and stood, holding out a hand to help her up. "What were you doing on the floor?"
"Well, I thought I saw a quarter under the couch. I didn't"
The air turned awkward as they each tried to think of something to say. Thankfully, they were saved by the doorbell. A rush to answer revealed a human male; just about six feet, skater boy clothes, and... short, burgandy hair. He swept through and scooped Charlotte up into a hug. She squeezed him back and yelled happily. After he put her down, introductions were made.
"Brad, this is Benson, one of my homies and my boss." She motioned towards the gumball machine, who currently had his arms crossed and one eyebrow raised. "Benny, this is my brother, Brad."
Benson visably relaxed after the intros, even extending a hand out to Brad to shake. "Now, where's Lu? I need her help for Lyndsay's birthday present, since her favourite movie is Halloween-"
"Don't lie to me, I know what day it is. What happened to Shelly? She was nice."
"No, she was boring."
"You dickhead. Kelsey?"
"A cheater."
"Poor boo. oh, what about Carla? Because she didn't have a 'y' in her name?"
"What? Jeez, nevermind."
"Fine, whatever... Luna's upstairs." She turned to Benson as Brad jogged up the stairs calling for Luna. "C'mon, Benny, let's hang out outside~"
They were just about to close the door when Rigby shot through it, an irate Moredecai on his heels. They barrelled into Pops and Skips, ruining their card game. "Hey, you guys wait here; I have two decks of cards we can use so that we all can play!" Charlotte shouted excitedly. She ran inside and was back out in a manner of moments, telling them all to sit and passing the cards to Skips to deal. "let's have at it mates!"
MEANWHILE, UPSTAIRS...
Brad and Luna were quickly becoming desperate. They hadn't been able to think of anything, so they were digging randomly through the closet and under the beds for interestiong items. He was currently rummaging on the shelf in the closet. His hand finally hit something other then dust and bug nastiness. "Hey what's this?" He uncovered a dirty wine-coloured book from the closet shelf. Luna took a closer look and shrugged. He blew off the coating of protective dust and saw a deep silver imprint on the cover. "A... trollface?"
"Looks like it- hey, read underneath it!"
"'A Trollr's Guide: Pranks, Spells, and Multi-Purpose Onions!' Sounds legit." Brad nodded, agreeing with himself. He flipped through the pages until he came to one that really stood out. "Hey Lu, a bubble of oxygen sounds fun. Says it will last for an hour until the air runs out and it pops. Wanna try?"
Luna looked skeptical. "Didn't Charlotte say you should never use magic again?"
"That was one mistake! Plus, Charlotte's not the boss of me! I'm a year older than her." Defiance sparked in his eyes. "It's a harmless air bubble, what could go wrong?"
"Don't you dare! Give me the book!"
The small racoon snatched at it. He hid it behind his back, but, after a few misses, she finally snagged it and ran off. He watched her leave, waiting until he was sure she was gone before he let himself smile. He brought forth his hands, one filled with a crumpled, ripped out paper. He smoothed it out, and read it, totally excited to troll his sister.
"You dillhole! Selfish prick! Arrogant, awful, slimey SWINE!" She screeched in his face. He shrunk down, obviously cowed. "I can't believe you would pull something like this! WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT MAGIC? You have to work your way up, you man hooter, does this look like a beginner spell to you? NO, I didn't fucking think so! LOOK at what your disobedience has CAUSED! LOOK AT THEM NOW!" She had one show in each hand; one arm pointed towards the huge blue bubble, the other dangerously close to hitting him.
Luna slapped Charlotte in the face hoping to calm her down. "HEY! Killing your brother will solve nothing! Brad, you overgrown horse-ass, I warned you, and I took the book! How did you get the spell?"
Brad's face turned pink as he shuffled out of the vicinity of her slappin' paw. "Ripped it out before you took it..." He glanced at Charlotte, silently fuming and looking as if she really would kill him, all blood ties aside. Shivering, he moved his gaze to the ones floating in an oxygen deprived balloon. Skips, Benson, Mordecai, and Rigby. His burgandy-haired sister had taken to throwing her black shoes over and over at the balloon, but it did nothing.
"How do I get myself into these messes...? Oh yeah, because I'm an idiot." Instead of listening to Luna and Charlotte, he decided to use magic he didn't know how to control. instead of the simple air bubble for one, he had created and air bubble with enough oxygen for five minutes for one person... about one minute for the four currently in there.
"God damnit, Bradley Josiah Christen DeLaris, if this is not resolved soon, I will cut off your dick and feed it to you! I will call you everytime I'm on my period and make sure I discuss the horrendous details IN DETAIL! I will bug you all the time ESPECIALLY when you're trying to get laid, escentially cockblocking you! I will-" Charlotte straitened as an idea formed in her head. She sped to the side of the house, climbed up the ladder carelessly left there and ran onto the roof. From up here, she could jump down and hopefully bring the balloon closer to the ground, making it easier to reach. She called her plan down to Luna and Brad, sending them into the garage for any sharp equipment.
Just then, Muscle Man and HFG were passing by, obviously on thir way to some sort of sports competion; Muscle Man dresse in shorts and a wifebeater, he and Fives sporting sweatbands. When they saw they commotion, they rushed over. "What happend to them?" Fives asked in his watery voice that somehow reached Charlotte on the roof.
"My brother's an idiot." She yelled down. Charlotte readied herself to jump, ignoring the frantic motions of stop coming from inside the bubble. She bent her knees, then propelled herself off the egde and onto the balloon. Her plan worked; it lowered down a yard or two, closer in reach. Inside the bubble, Rigby passed out, causing a returning Luna to scream. Muscle man pulled the bag off his shoulder and started taking things out. The first item was a discus, followed by an olympic spear. Luna snatched it from him and tossed it with amazing precision into the bubble, causing a small tear. Mordecai and Skips were leaning against the wall of the balloon, eyelids drooping. Benson was currently jumping up and trying to reach the tiny rip to help pull it open, but he was losing energy fast.
"Y'know who ELSE can throw a spear like that? MY MOM!" He grabbed another spear from his bag and tossed it perfectly, hitting the small tear and turning it into a huge hole. Charlotte gripped the egde of the hole from her place atop the bubble and pulled with all her might.
She tugged until she felt the bubble membrane ripping apart, then pulled father. Another forceful tug, a real hole made, and she toppled off, holding part of it in her arms. All those awake let out a shriek as she fell to the ground. Air whooshed into the balloon, causing it to overfill and explode, sending all passengers a-flyin'. They all plummeted down into a pile, saved by the thick, rubbery membrane bits of the bubble that sheilded their fall. A woozy Charlotte pushed her way out of the pile to stomp towards her brother. Her hands on her hips, she stared down at him as if she were a mother who's kid was is serious trouble.
"Now..."
Brad gulpe audibly.
"When are you allowe to use magic?"
"N-never..."
"Good answer. Now, help me get them inside." She pulled a barely conscious Benson onto her back and carried him inside, leaving Brad and Muscle Man to get Skips, Pops, and Mordecai. She ordered Muscle Man to set Skips on the couch and to take Mordecai to his room, and Brad to take Pops to his. They trudged upstairs, each with a load, and headed into the respective room. Charlotte had an internal debate for a minute, before deciding to let him rest in her bed. She set him down and tucked him in, thinking how sweet he looked as he slept. Very calm, seriously adorable totally kissab- She smacked her forehead. My boss, you stupid WHOREmones... She cast another glance at him before retucking him in and, before she lost her courage, placing a small peck on his forhead. With a small secret smile, she left the room.
Brad was leaning against his car, waiting for the girls to come say goodbye. They hurried out, both enveloping him in an affectionate hug. "So, Lottie, how did you like your Troll Day?" He asked, when they had released him.
She socked him hard in the shoulder. "Well, no one was seriously injured... So, all in all, it was pretty badass. But seriously; no more magic, bro."
Luna laughed as he got in the car, looking sheepish. "Okay, mom. Bye, love you."
"Love you too moron. Send Lyndsay my, er, hope?" Charlotte said with a snicker.
"Whatever. Peace girls!"
They waved and called out goodbyes until the car was no longer seen. Today had been pretty damn awesome. Charlotte glanced at Luna, the racoon still waving frantically. Just you wait, she thought. I'll get you my pretty... and your little cohorts too!
HOLYPANCAKESBATMAN!THATWAS 3,834 WORDSINTHISCHAPTER(NOTINCLUDINGAUTHOR'SNOTES)
I kinda feel like it's to.. choppy, somehow? Is it too long or what? Do you think I rushed the ending?
Please leave any comments/questions/flames in the review section!(:
Thanks, don't forget to REVIEW! :)
This is Miss Awesome, signing off~