APOV
"You better stop right there or you will wake up dead," I threatened holding out a knife and fork.
Paul's hand was just inches away from the pie. It was the most amazing pie in the world that Esme had made and there was only one slice there. Paul had tried to get a slice but heck no! It was MY pie!
His eyes shifted to the pie and back to me. I saw his hands inching toward the pie and did the only thing I could think of. I whacked him in the head with my fork, grabbed the pie, and ran.
Edward was just coming in through the door with Bella at his side. As quickly as I could I threw myself into Edwards arms. He caught me bridal style with a confused expression on his face.
"Paul was trying to eat my pie!" I yelled, then proceeded to stuff the last slice in my mouth.
"Crap! I almost caught you," Paul smirked standing in front of Edward and I, "You know, I wasn't going to eat the pie. I know how important it is to you."
I had found my soulmate. He knew just how strongly I felt about pie and revenge. Gasp! I had gotten so distracted with the most delicious and scrum-didali-uptious pie in the world that I almost forgot about Carlisle! "Paul! We almost forgot about our new target!" his smiling face turned into a serious one as he grabbed the camera from the couch. I jumped out of Edward's arms and grabbed my purse of evil.
"Purse of evil?" he questioned with a grin.
"This is a serious matter!" I made my face so serious that my eye started twitching. Then calmly said my goodbye. I was already dressed as a serious businesswomen yet still I looked hot. Alice was going through a new phase in dressing me.
"Good day Edward and Isabella. Enjoy this fantastic evening alone. Ta ta," I said in my best snooty voice.
Step 1:
"The target has been spotted," I whispered into the walkie talkie.
"Roger," said Paul as he aimed the camera towards Carlisle.
"His name isn't Roger,"
We were currently at the hospital and saw Carlisle across the hall. As I was about to approach him a mean nurse stopped me.
"I'm sorry, do you have an appointment? No one can see Dr. Cullen without one," she looked so smug that I just wanted to-
"She's my daughter, it's fine." I heard Carlisle say.
I smirked at the secretary while she scowled. She was lucky I didn't go all Jacky Chan or her butt.
"Allison, what can I do for yo-"
"I'm sorry but if you want to speak to me you will have to address me in a cute British accent."
"I don't thin-"
"English Accent!" I said loudly.
He sighed, "Wut can I do for you, Allison?" his English accent was amazing! I squealed thanks and skipped back to Paul.
Step 2:
Paul and I stood on the foyer while the camera was hidden behind a tree branch. We heard Carlisle's car in the driveway and walked out to greet him.
"Fo shizzle! Carlizzle!" I yelled putting extra emphasiz on the 's'.
"Allison it's pronounced Carlisle."
I gave him a weird look and responded, "The 'q' is silent."
Step 3:
"Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey,"
"Yes Allison?" he was so relaxed even after I had bothered him for like ever!
I looked around suspiciously and then leaned close to his ear, as if to tell a secret. As soon as there were enough people within hearing distance I yelled out.
"DO BLONDS REALLY HAVE MORE FUN!"
Step 4:
"You can do this babe," I said massaging Paul's shoulders, suddenly I saw Carlisle coming down the stairs, "GO! There he is! Remember the plan!" I hurriedly turned on the camera and got as close as I could.
Paul walked up to Carlisle and greeted him.
"So Carlisle, what do you think of the pretty nurses at the ER.?" he asked leaning against the wooden railing of the stairs.
"I beg your pardon," Carlisle's eyes widened slightly.
"I know what you do with all those pretty nurses during your night shifts at the hospital," Paul winked, "but hey I can't blame you. We all need a little variety right?"
Carlisle stood still staring at Paul. His golden eyes hardened and his small smile turned into a scowl. He looked around swiftly and then gripped Paul's shoulders.
"I don't know what the hell your talking about, but if you ever hurt Allison because you need a little "variety" as you so put it, I won't hesitate to rip your throat out. Are we clear?" he asked in an eerily calm voice.
Paul nodded quickly, his eyes wide and scared. Carlisle smiled and patted his shoulder roughly, "Good."
My mouth hung open in shock as to what had just happened.
In the midst of the surprise I managed to stutter out, "C-Carlisle just cursed! . . . I'm telling Esme on you!"
Step 5:
After the little incident with Carlisle, Paul refused to go anywhere near him.
"How can you be so scared? You're a freakin werewolf for crying out loud!" I threw my arms up in defeat, "Fine, you can take the camera and record away from us."
Hs frightened expression turned into one of gratitude. "I love you so much!" he hugged me tighty.
"Can't- breath . . ." I gasped out for air when he let go.
"Sorry," he muttered. I rolled my eyes and walked into a closet. When I heard Carlisle's footsteps by the door I began yelling at the banana in my hand.
"NO! YOU KNOW IT'S YOUR FAULT! I CAN'T DRIVE WAFFLES! MONKEY's EAT ALL MY PURSES AND PAUL LOVES PIE-"
I was cut off by Carlisle opening the door. "Do you mind? I'm having an important conversation!"
He looked at the banana in my hand, "Allison you can't talk to fruit."
"Swim to France! This has nothing to do with vampires. It's strictly between the fruit and me!" with that I shut the door in his scared face.
Step 6:
The camera was placed carefully inside a sandwich. This was going to be great!
"Couldn't we have hid the camera behind a pillow on the couch?"
"Paul, where would the fun be in that?" I rose an eyebrow questioning him. He shrugged. "Exactly." I always win.
I burst through the front door with a smile on my face.
"Bella and I are getting married!" I yelled. Carlisle, Esme, and Emmett stared at me.
"Allison, I don't think that that's possible-"
"TIMES HAVE CHANGED OLD MAN!" I grabbed the sandwich and ran.
Step 7:
"Carlisle?" he leaned away from me and was instantly suspicious.
"Yes?"
"I have a question," he nodded for me to continue his face still wary, "well you know how vampires have gift that are traits from your human life, just magnified?" he nodded, "So you brought your compassion to this life, right?" he smiled and nodded happily, "Well . . . ," I stood up with my hands on my hips, "WHAT KIND OF STUPID SUPERHUMAN POWER IS COMPASSION? WHAT WILL YOU DO IN A FIGHT? LOVE THY ENEMY TO DEATH?"
Step 8:
"Why do you have so much holy water?" Paul carried the filled bucket up to Carlisle's study.
"You'll see," I grinned. I rigged the bucket on top of the door, so that when it was opened it would pour on whoever was underneath it. I pushed Paul into a small closet, and then I hid under Carlisle's desk.
I heard the splash and jumped out from under his desk with a cross, "Evil demon that possesses Carlisle, abandon this body!"
"ALLISON," he yelled trying to get my attention. All his clothes were soaked and dripping onto the floor.
"Paul, the demons going to attack me!" I felt Paul grab me and jump down the window. Hehehe. Step 8 complete.
I stepped back into the house once Carlisle left. That was hilarious! Suddenly I tripped over nothing. Bella was rubbing off on me. I yelled out loud and fell on my butt. Paul laughed at me and helped me stand up. I pouted, "It wasn't funny!" I complained crossing my arms.
"That was just like Bella," sniggered Edward. When did he get here?
"STOP STALKING US!"
Step 9:
"Hello," I smiled sweetly at the mean nurse from before, "I'm looking for Dr. MDreamy."
"Who?" she scowled
"," I stated again, "Oh I'm sorry. I meant Dr. McSteamy. Well he prefers either. You should tell all of the nurses to call him that. He thinks Dr. Cullen makes him sound old. Ooops there goes the time I have to go." I turned around and barely 2 seconds later heard the nurse again.
"Hello ," I heard Carlisles disgusted and surprised voice before exiting the nurses station.
Step 10:
"Paul! It tickles!" I squealed trying to move away.
"Hold still. Alice will kill you if this ketchup gets on your shirt!" that stopped me short, "Alright your ready," he held me at arms length and looked at me neck, "You'll do great babe." he smirked, dropped my arms and yelled, "ACTION!" With that I went running through the E.R. waiting room. Yelling at the top of my lungs.
"I'VE BEEN BITTEN! I'VE BEEN BITTEN! HELP ME! I'M TURNIG INTO A VAMPIRE!" I fell on the floor and began spazing out, then I lay still.
A shocked nurse walked up to me and looked at my neck. She shrieked when she saw two puncture marks dripping with blood (ketchup). I heard her yell for 'Dr. Cullen' and smirked softly. When I heard footsteps close in I stood up as fast as a vampire on fire. I rolled my eyes to the back of my head.
"I vill suck yur blood!" I yelled in a gravely voice. There were shrieks everywhere. That's what you get Carlisle Cullen.