*Sigh*
Ok, last update of this fanfiction!
Sorry it took so long to update! Anyway hope you enjoy and thanks for all the reviews!
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Sakura's POV
When I woke up that morning predictable thoughts flew into my mind. Today was the day. The day another Li would officially be established in the world. Those thoughts were followed by a sickly feeling that lingered in my stomach. The past almost six years went by in the blink of an eye and secretly this day haunted my dreams for a majority of those nights.
These feelings were predictable on this certain day. What I didn't predict was Eriol chasing me around the apartment nagging me to go to the dreaded event.
"For the last time Eriol I said no!" I said getting extremely frustrated with him.
I flustered around the apartment gathering up the last of my things. My apartment began to look as it was the day I moved in. Empty and void of personality. My pictures, photos and deepest personal belongings were now wrapped carefully in brown cardboard boxes.
I wouldn't miss this place, my apartment I mean. From day one I've been arranging and re-arranging things just to make it feel like my home but in truth, it felt as if I were a tenant forbidden to make this place a home.
Good riddance to it I suppose.
"Sakura please-"
"No Eriol I'm not going!" I marched away from him to busy myself in packing.
He followed me to every corner of every room though. He did look dashing in his suit. He looked polished and dapper and no doubt would turn a few female heads.
"You know if you don't you'll regret this for the rest of your life." He said sternly as he looked down on me like a disappointed parent.
"Eriol no." I said quieter. "I don't even understand why you're going." I said bitterly just wanting to talk about something else.
Eriol had appropriately stepped down as best man for obvious reasons and was replaced by Meiling's brother. However Eriol still was willing to appear at the wedding. I honestly couldn't understand it. How could he bring himself to witness his love marry another?
Maybe I was in the wrong, was I such a coward as to not say a final goodbye to my best friend? I shook my head and refused to think about this any further knowing my conscience would persuade me otherwise.
"So you're just going to leave? Without saying goodbye?"
"I did say good bye Eriol remember?"
"To Syaoran maybe… but what about T-"
"Eriol please!" I said raising my hands up. "In twenty four hours I'll be on a plane for Canada and only God knows when we'll see each other face to face. Please, you're my best friend; you stuck by me for so long. I don't want to leave on bad terms with you."
He looked at me for a long time deliberating what to do. His expression changed to a look of acceptance. He knew no force could bring me to see them.
"Of course I don't want to leave on bad terms. But I do sincerely think that something…something will happen. I can feel it. It's just not right. None of this is right and something will-"
"You're going to be late Eriol." I said cutting across from him.
All last night he went on about this 'feeling' that something would happed to stop or interfere with the wedding. He said it with such passion that even I was swayed, but not enough to make me stay. No, I would be on that plane no matter what.
He sighed heavily and ran a hand through his black hair. "It doesn't help you know."
"What doesn't." I said returning to wrapping dedicates into boxes.
"Running away."
I froze mid-action and turned slowly to him.
"I'm not running away Eriol I'm leaving him to get on with his life without me. I have to do this, it'll make it easier. I should have done it a long time ago."
"You think I didn't tell myself the same thing when I left?" He said with an undercurrent of anger. "I thought that too when I moved back to London. But believe me Sakura it doesn't ease the pain in fact it worsens it. Every day you find yourself wondering what they are doing, if there happy and was leaving a mistake. You see there face in every single person who walks by. Not seeing or hearing from them is worse than seeing them happy with someone else. You try and you try to move on from them. But the harder you try the more you can't help but to think of them! Relationships and romances fail. You can't be with another person without constantly comparing them. Nothing feels right anymore. You end up just going through the motions to the point where nothing and nobody makes you happy. You become numb thinking and aching for them every second with every fibre of your body until you can't take it anymore!"
I sat and listened to him. With my hands placed on my knees I pried my eyes from my suitcase to meet his.
"Is that why you came back then?"
He looked away and nodded. "It hurt too much not seeing her, not having any contact with her. That's why I won't give up until its set in stone, and even when it is I doubt I'll ever truly let her go. That's why I know you'll regret leaving him without a fight."
"It's not that I'm giving up Eriol. I just… there are reasons why it just won't work. I should have left a long time ago."
"It's the coward's way out Sakura!"
"Then I guess I'm a coward!" I fired back.
For a long time we locked ourselves in an intense gaze before he caved. The atmosphere eased off and I saw he was getting tired of trying to get some sort of message through me.
"I'm sorry Sakura, you're not a coward. You're the bravest person I know."
When he opened his arms I collided into him most severely than the day he returned.
"I'm going to miss you so much Eriol." He embraced me tighter and smiled.
"We'll still keep in contact. I won't let you go that easily."
After a while we broke away. He swiped up his coat of the worktop and just before he walked out he turned to wink at me, his sapphire blue eyes gleaming.
"Goodbye Sakura,"
The door closed softly behind him and I whispered with full admiration for him. "Goodbye Eriol."
I hoped this would work out for him, I truly did.
But you had to admit, when it comes down to Eriol, anything could happen, and I mean…anything.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
It wasn't long after Eriol left that dad, Yukito and Toya dropped by to help with heavy lifting.
"Aren't you all going to the wedding?" I asked them both.
"Only because dad's forcing us." Toya mumbled under his breath. He was probably the only one who approved of me leaving. Being the protective brother that he is he didn't want me near Syaoran knowing what it did to me.
I wasn't at all angry they were going. After all, they were family and Tomoyo was dad's niece. Toya, I could see was not happy about this. My bad I suppose for telling him almost everything.
"Why aren't you ready honey?" Dad said smiling at me. Dear God he really is clueless at times.
"I don't have time to dad, I'll miss my flight." I lied. I could have made it but just chose not to. I guess I really am a coward.
"You're flight isn't until eleven is it not?"
I sighed heavily. My father probably knew what he was doing. Out of all people he could play the guilt factor like no other. From the corner of my eye I saw Toya inkling his head towards Yukito to leave. They departed leaving just dad and I.
I continued with my checklist trying very hard to ignore dad's possible lecture.
"Don't forget to get the computer guy out to fix your skype ok? Otherwise your phone bill to Canada will put you in debt."
"Sakura…"
Oh no. Whenever he said my name in that half-sigh half-concerned way while taking off his glasses and rubbing them… it normally meant a speech was coming.
"Dad…" I whined.
"Just listen. I promise this will be the last lecture I'll ever give you."
He sat down on the couch across from me. He leaned forwards placing his elbows on his knees and contemplated on how to phrase his point.
"Sakura… when you're mom was in the hospital she never cried once."
This came as a surprise to me. Whenever dad referred to mom, which he did on a frequent occasion, he always spoke about her before the cancer. When she was alive and well. I suppose it was just too painful for him to speak about her when she was in hospital during her illness.
"She remained strong through the whole thing. She spoke to me about how wonderful her life was. Naturally it broke her heart to know she would not be around to watch you kids grow up. Especially with you, you were so young and she desperately wanted to be there for you."
He paused a while to dab his eye with a handkerchief.
"Oh Dad," I said crossing over to him and placing a hand on his shoulder.
"No no," He said. "I know your mother would want me to say this to you." He dabbed the other eye and continued. "You're mother and Sonomi were inseparable when I first met Nadeshiko. They might as well have been twins. But Sonomi was a jealous and spiteful person. When I proposed to your mother Sonomi was not shy of expressing her disapproval of me. We held of the wedding until I won Sonomi's approval but… we could have been waiting forever. Your mother and I fought often about this and there was a time when I thought we would never marry. But after we did marry they became distant and barely speaking. It became more so when Sonomi married. I was not a rich man but I could provide for all of you but that wasn't enough for Sonomi. Her paralysing fear of being brought back into poverty was an insecurity I don't think Sonomi ever fully got over. She was afraid I would not provide for Nadeshiko in financial terms therefore dragging Sonomi down with her. It killed your mother to not be with her sister anymore. She never showed it but it did crush her. She made so many attempts to reconciliate with her but Sonomi made it difficult. She couldn't understand why Nadeshiko would settle for someone like me."
He sighed heavily and wiped his glasses. I didn't stop him from speaking. I never heard this part of my mother and my aunty. I just assumed they were never close.
"I believe it was through the close friendship of yourself and Tomoyo that brought your mother and Sonomi back together to some degree. Your mother was so happy to see your friendship grow. Like I said, your mother had just one regret. She wished more than anything that she made it work with Sonomi. The last time Nadeshiko and Sonomi was the night before she died. It was the first time I saw Sonomi and your mother cry. She apologised for everything. It made your mother so happy."
I wrapped my arms around him feeling myself getting emotional.
"Nadeshiko was extremely sick at this stage. I believe she was only hanging on only for Sonomi. The point to all this Sakura is that, your mother forgave Sonomi. And I know that you and Tomoyo aren't sisters but as I watched you over the years I can see you are so very much like Nadeshiko in every way. Tomoyo is a very sweet but naïve girl heavily influenced by Sonomi. We get our morals from our parents Sakura and we have to take that into account. And I know, that if you and Tomoyo leave things the way they are, then just like Nadeshiko, it will kill you."
I got his message loud and clear. It seemed as if the whole world was lining up to lecture me.
"I know you and Tomoyo have your differences, and I know she's hurt you Sakura. But I also know if you leave without saying goodbye it's something that will live with you for the rest of your life."
My eyes wandered over to the phone where I knew a voicemail lay undeleted. Deep down I knew he was right. He and even Eriol to some extent were right.
"Dad you should probably get going the wedding will start soon." I said trying to keep my voice steady. He smiled knowing he got through to me to some degree.
He rose up and gave me a hug.
"I'm going to miss you honey."
"I'll stop by the house before I leave you know that." I said turning my back to him not wanting him to see that even in my adulthood he could still influence me so.
"I know." He said hugging me tighter. "But I miss you already."
With that, just like Eriol he took off for the wedding. Just before the door closed he felt he had to tell me this.
"It's not too late sweetie, the wedding doesn't start for another hour."
I stood in the middle of the apartment embracing myself. It was so true. I did feel as if there was something left to be done. The sense of something left incomplete was lurking inside me. Maybe this was it. I said my goodbye to Syaoran… maybe it was time to forgive just like my mother did.
A small photo of my mother sat on top of one of the boxes.
If I truly was like her in every way, then maybe dad was right. I know my mother would want me o do this. I could practically see her nodding in front of me, encouraging me to do what was right.
Through the huge windows I could see a storm was brewing. The thick clouds coloured silver and grey seemed to be waiting for something, they circled the sky just patiently waiting for an event to happen.
The ticking of the clock was the only sound that seemed to echo throughout the building.
I could hear dad's voice circulate my mind.
It wasn't too late.
X x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
Tomoyo's POV
I sat by the locker staring into my reflection which showed a face of worry.
My hair was pinned back, my make up was flawless and I was wearing a dress custom designed by D'maras Lore. I look exactly how I imagined I would look. The only thing that was different was the lack of any smile on my face.
This was it. In a matter of twenty minutes I would be Mrs Tomoyo Li, and my old life would become a distant memory. Inside I panicked. I completely feared the aftermath. I did not sleep a wink last night. All night my eyes stared either at the ceiling or at the phone waiting for her to call.
As if she would have.
I didn't know how to feel so I remained quiet. Saying nothing. Not acting abnormal, just keeping to myself.
All around me the Li sisters flustered around in their bridesmaids dresses. I glanced out the window to see Meiling waiting outside the church for Yelen who was due to arrive any minute now.
In the mirror I saw Sheifa touching up her makeup in the far corner whilst talking on the phone in a cheery tone. She was simply loving this, being in control. I wonder what she would do when Yelen returns. Would she return into the meek Li sister who rarely looked or spoke unless addressed? Or would she come out more so and remain the dominant Li.
In the other mirror on the other side of the room Fanran and Feimei quarrelled.
"Fanran quit hogging the mirror you've been there since we've got here!"
"Give me a damn minute Feimei besides you got your chance!" Fanran remained in front of the mirror making sure she looked her very best as my maiden of honour.
"Yeah for about five seconds before you bullied your way in."
Feimei danced around Fanran to get a glance of herself. They continued to quarrel whilst sitting in the opposite corner Fuutie perched herself quietly. She picked the petals of a white rose. For some reason she looked absolutely miserable, as if she were the one in my shoes. She kept her head down and didn't speak a word since we got here.
Something was troubling her but I was too much in my own hurt that I didn't inquire about her.
I don't know what possessed me to but I looked back at Meiling. She stood looking up at she the sky which was threatening to rain.
She then darted her head towards her cell and answered it. At first her lips moved and her hand rested on her hip. Her face remained expressionless but then a look of confusion consumed her face, then shock.
I assume the caterers were lost or maybe Yelen wouldn't be released on time to make the ceremony.
She nodded a final time but I worried when she brought a hand to her mouth. She walked up and down the footpath for a while before settling onto the bench with her back towards me.
A gentle knock on the dressing room distracted my attention from Meiling.
"It's probably mother." Fanran said finally said prying her eyes from her own reflection.
I could feel my pulse double in pace. Oh God, I haven't seen Yelen since the heart attack. I feared the worst but knew that she would not bring all that up today of all days. It was Feimei who opened the door.
"Oh…" she said surprised. "I didn't know you were coming." Feimei said hesitantly.
Everyone's head turned to face the door. Feimei's body concealed the person behind it.
Then slowly, cautiously, Sakura walked into view.
I could hear the simultaneous gasp throughout the room. My heart beat so hard I didn't know whether I preferred it to be Yelen. A part of me was so glad she was here I could have burst into tears there and then but at the same time I wasn't ready for this.
Instead of gaping at her my mouth formed words. "Sa-"
"You're not supposed to be here!" Sheifa said in a sharp cut tone that made me gasp.
Sakura didn't phase at all. She just continued to look at me in an expression that told me she was here for a reason.
"Tomoyo, can I talk to you?" She said with confidence despite the hostile atmosphere.
"No she cannot talk. Do you realise she has to be at the alter in ten minutes! You may speak with her after the ceremony but now is not the time. I'm sure there's some space left for you in the church."
"Preferably at the back." Fanran chimed adding a snicker.
Sheifa clenched her hands and crossed them over her chest. Sakura however said nothing to them but continued to stare at me pleading for my time.
"Tomoyo?" She whispered.
All eyes fell on me waiting for my answer.
"Ok." I nodded with a small smile on m face. I was not going to miss this opportunity.
"Tomoyo!" Sheifa said with a look of shock that I went against her. "There isn't any time!"
"Give us a minute. All of you."
At first they gaped at me with their jaws hanging. They were shocked that I would dare speak back to Sheifa like that.
They shuffled out one by one, Sheifa the last to leave with a look of disgust on her face. She stared down Sakura as she left banging the door shut.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"I didn't think you were coming." I said suddenly losing my nerve.
"Neither did I." She said walking slowly towards me.
She took one of the stools and sat beside me. She wore a long coat with her hair falling in loose waves.
I sucked in the air wondering if I should be the first to speak.
"You look beautiful." She said smiling genuinely.
This only made my eyes water.
"Why are you being so nice to me?" I asked staring at my hands.
"Well what would you like me to say?"
"I don't know. Maybe yell at me like I deserve. "
"I think we got that out of our system already."
We both laughed.
"Are you staying for the wedding?" I asked knowing the answer already.
"No, I just came here to say… to say goodbye."
"Oh.."
"Why are you crying Tomoyo?" She asked reaching out to wipe a tear of my cheek from my eye.
"Because I'm about to do something awful and I don't know what to do."
She looked down at her feet understanding my predicament. "Don't feel guilty Tomoyo. If it weren't going to be you then it would have been someone else."
"Because of the letter?"
She looked surprised but then realised the fact that I knew about the letter. "Yeah, because of that."
We stayed silent for a while whilst the clock ticked on and on counting down the seconds.
I wish I knew what to say, I really did.
"Tomoyo don't cry," She said when my voice cracked.
She did the most unexpected thing. Her arms pulled my into a hug. Her sweet smell brought me back years. I don't remember the last time we were like this. For a moment, for one moment I felt like I was cared for, funny how it was the person I hurt the most.
"Sakura…are we ever going to be the way that we were?" I dared asked in the mist of this rather nice reunion.
She pulled away from me gently and averted her eyes from me.
"After today Tomoyo, I really don't know where that leaves you and I."
I felt my heart sink but I nodded anyway
"You understand don't you? When you and Syaoran…marry… I simply don't think we could possibly ever go back to being…"
"Like sisters." I finished for her.
"Yeah…I know I'm confusing you. But I forgive you Tomoyo…I just can't forget. I'll never forget what's happened. But soon you and Syaoran will probably have kids and, and you'll settle into your new life. You may find it hard to picture now but eventually you will and I- I just can't be around that."
I nodded not saying anything for fear that it would be the wrong thing. I wanted so bad to tell her not to go. I wanted-no…I needed her to stay. But of course I couldn't ask that of her. If the roles were reversed I would probably leave too. I'm not completely blind. I know over the years I've used Sakura as my shoulder to cry on. When things got rough with my life or Syaoran Sakura was always there even though it was probably killing her. I've been so selfish…and look where it's gotten me.
"You'll make him happy Tomoyo, I know you will." She said and caught a single tear that almost smudged my make up.
"I'll miss you." I whispered.
She nodded and stood up. "Don't dwell on this Tomoyo…this pain…it will pass…it will pass."
I felt as if she were trying to convince herself rather than me. As she turned to leave I couldn't help but to ask the question that was on the tip of my tongue.
"Eriol…"
She stopped with her hand on the door handle.
"Is he… is he…"
"He's here. He is lost in a world of his own. After you are married…he'll come to acceptance and then you won't have to worry about him anymore…"
My hand flew to my heart…I bit my lip from revealing the secret growing in my stomach.
"Goodbye Tomoyo." She said.
The last I saw of her was her fingertips as they brought the door to a close. I actually felt physically and mentally on my own. My confidant was gone. The comfort of knowing she was there was something comforting enough to sustain me through difficult times. But now I was on my own.
A few moments passed without my notice. I simply stared at my hands wishing this would just be done with.
"Tomoyo-san…there's plenty of time to cry after the wedding." Feimei dangled a tissue in front of me. I smiled and dabbed the corners of my eyes.
Be strong now Tomoyo… no time for tears.
"Ready to go?" Fanran said appearing behind me with a smile both devious and evil.
"Yes." Stabbing a gaze in the mirror I held a look that read 'Tomoyo Li' but inside my heart sang 'Hiiragizawa'
"I'm ready."
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
The wedding march caused silence in the church.
Three hundred faces turned to face my direction. I was blocked by my bridesmaids but as they descended down the alter one by one I became more exposed.
The walk up the isle was the most daunting part. My eyes could not bring themselves to look up. They remained fixate on the floor, or the flowers or the shoes of others but never towards him. I didn't want to see the expression on his face.
When my eyes met the maroon carpet I knew there was no more stalling, nothing left to do.
When my eyes met his he was in a gaze, a trance maybe. To everyone else this could have been misinterpreted as a gaze of pure love and devotion. But I knew, he was not looking at me, but rather through me. Was he imagining her? Was his mind colouring my eyes green just so he could get through this?
Then, when silence settled his eyes fixated themselves on me. Silent messages were sent between us. Maybe I imagined it, maybe it was all in my head but I swore I saw his lip twitch upwards in a half attempt to smile. Was this some sort of reassurance?
My hands clenched tighter around the bouquet I was holding. My heart pounded faster and harder than it ever did before.
Oh God, this is it. I'm actually about to do this. My breaths caught unevenly causing my eyes to flicker for a brief second towards to my right. I saw him immediately. Sitting five rows from the front. His face read the heartbreak I was trying to hide. For a while I was stupid enough to think something would stop this. I let him place false hope in me. The aftermath was too much to think about now.
In the front row sat close friends and colleagues of Syaoran. Chiharu, Takashi, Rika and Naoko sat in the same row as Eriol. None of them bore a look of approval, but rather they had faces of judgment. They weren't here for me. I'm surprised they were here at all.
A seat in the front lay vacant and I could only assume it was reserved for Yelen who, was noticeably absent.
When the priest cleared his throat my attention was returned to the now.
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today…"
This was it, my wedding day, and all I could see was his face, my Eriol's face… I've dreamt about this for so long with Syaoran. My happiness was supposed to be never ending with him and already I could sense it would be far from it.
Then came the dreaded part. My hands shook when Fanran took to bouquet from my hands so I could be prepared for the rings. My hands fell in his. I looked at him wondering if he felt the same.
"We can do this." He whispered so low and so subtly not even the priest heard him.
A part of me thought he was just reassuring himself.
"Do you Syaoran, take Tomoyo Daidouji to be you lawful wedded wife?"
The colour rushed from my face, my hands became as white as the walls and after a moment when his lips moved to form words I thought I would collapse.
"I-"
Whether he said 'do' or not I don't know. He was drowned out by the double doors of the church bursting open and swinging round to crash of the walls. I dropped my hands from his in fright and whirled my head towards the doors.
Meiling marched in very formal matter past the front row, past Fuutie, Feimei, Sheifa, Fanran and even me. She halted just in front of Syaoran and ignored the church full of gaping mouths shocked that she would interrupt at such an important moment. I didn't even realise she wasn't here. I just assumed she was beside Fuutie.
She pulled Syaoran to face away from me. I looked back to the Li sisters but she mirrored my confusion in their faces. Meiling whispered low and incoherently. I looked to Syaoran to gauge his reaction. His eyes budged and his mouth parted slightly.
"When?" he asked in a more neutral tone.
I still could not hear Meiling but when she finished speaking Syaoran nodded his head and rubbed his jaw.
"I'll handle everything here." She said rubbing his back encouragingly.
People began to become impatient and voiced their frustration.
Syaoran turned his head towards me and gave me a look of uncertainty.
"Syaoran? What's wrong?" I said over the angry voices.
He bit his lip and grabbed my wrist. Before I knew it he was leading me out of the church not stopping for anything.
"Ok sorry about this everyone but I'm afraid the wedding is cancelled." Meiling said.
An eruption of complains bombarded the room. "I know I know I am very sorry. We will call you again for the re-set date thank you!" Meiling ushered people out very professionally.
"Cancelled? Syaoran why? What's happened?" He didn't stop walking even when we were out of the church grounds, nor did he release my hand.
"Syaoran! Tell me what happened?" I said getting frustrated myself.
He rubbed his after he let go and let out a moan into his hands. In his suit he looked so handsome yet so alone.
"Syaoran..." I said touching his shoulder lightly with my fingertips. "Please, tell me…"
"It's my mother."
My eyes expanded. Above us dark clouds hovered watching us in our ant-size form.
"What about her?" I asked with my mind already coming to its own conclusion.
"She…she's dead."
Right on queue, a single drop of rain fell between us, with many more to come…
x x x x x
Syaoran's POV
We sat like statues waiting for the horrible news to arrive. I sat in my living room with my four sisters and Tomoyo.
There was dead silence and we all dared not look at each other.
I drummed my fingers lightly on the dresser beside me.
Tomoyo sat across the room still in her wedding dress and still a Daidouji. I didn't know whether this was fates way of telling that we were not meant to be, or whether it was just a coincidence.
Finally Meiling emerged into the room looking sullen and exhausted.
"So?" Sheifa asked with a face as hard as a stone.
Meiling sighed. "That was the nurse who was assisting Yelen. They were getting ready to leave for the wedding. One minute, Yelen was talking as normal, the next…there was just silence, nothing. The nurse left the room for a minute. Yelen was so quiet, she closed her eyes and then…she just never opened them again. The nurse said she was stone cold within the minute."
We all sat silent. Fanran was the first to burst into tears. Feimei averted her eyes out to the window in a sad gaze. Tomoyo continued to pick at the netted veil.
"Was it a heart attack?"
"Possibly. There were signs of a struggle. A broken vase, make up on the floor, but she died quickly."
I bowed my head not knowing what to feel. I didn't know whether to cry or be upset. My emotions seemed to sterilize leaving my body numb.
"I'll be in my office." I said excusing myself.
Sheifa stood up poker straight with a face as hard as a stone. "Don't be long, we've to be back at that church in twenty minutes."
"What!"
"On any other occasion I would certainly postpone it, but mother was planning today's event for years! I know for a fact that she would not want us to delay this. I've arranged a private ceremony for yourself Tomoyo and us, after we will resume to our guests."
"Are you kidding me?" Meiling said shocked.
Tomoyo's mouth dropped realizing that Sheifa was actually suggesting this, suggesting that we carry on with this marriage.
"Sheifa, your mother died and you want to go ahead with this. You haven't even consulted Syaoran or Tomoyo!"
"I don't see why they should want to delay this. Those people have travelled very far to be here, we'll say mother is ill and break the news after."
"You're fucking insane." Meiling spat.
"And who asked you! You're not even a real Li therefore this does not concern you! What right have you to intervene with family affairs after all the years you've been leeching of us? If it weren't for my mother you wouldn't even have your little law firm."
I saw the sting on Meiling's face. Sheifa knew that would hurt.
"Twenty minutes Syaoran." Sheifa said and marched out of the room leaving an eerie presence behind her.
I would have defended Meiling if I could. I was too weak, too heavy from the stress of today's events to do anything.
But Meiling, predictable as she was, snapped out of it and assumed her professional like manner.
"Feimei go help Tomoyo get ready, Fanran go call your husband and inform him we shall be arriving soon."
Fanran wiped her nose and obeyed, as did Feimei. Fuutie however remained rooted to the ground with her eyes wide with fear.
"Syaoran," she said suddenly coming to my side. "I need to talk to you."
"Not now Fuutie ok? Maybe afterwards." I said dismissing her.
"But S-Syaoran-" She said tugging my sleeve and begging me with her eyes. What has gotten into her lately?
"Fuutie I really need you to make these calls for me do you mind." Meiling said placing a hand on Fuutie's shoulder.
Fuutie bit her lip and swivelled her head from myself to Meiling.
"I need to… I need to get something." She ran out of the room.
"What's wrong with her?"
I shrugged. "There was always something funny about Fuutie."
Meiling and I retired to my office.
"Here's to my last seven minutes of freedom." I said sarcastically while opening a bottle of scotch.
"I can't believe Sheifa, are you just going to go through with it?"
"She has a point, why delay it any longer."
"I don't like seeing you like this Syaoran!"
"Like what?"
"Defeated." She rested her head into her palms
"It's quite ironic,"
"What is?"
"Like Sheifa said, mother had planned this occasion since I was born. Ironic how she dies and never gets to witness it."
She nodded understandingly. I walked over to a near by mirror to examine myself in my suit.
"Is it bad that I don't cry for her? She was my mother…shouldn't I feel something? Anything?"
Meiling walked up behind me and patted my back. "She's wronged you in the past Syaoran, she's hurt you in ways a mother shouldn't."
"That's the thing. If I can't feel sadness for her, shouldn't there be hate? Or bitterness? Something, anything?"
"Syaoran it's understandable. You won't know how to feel at the moment. It will take some time."
I sighed knowing she was right. I looked at the clock, I had to go through with this. A thought suddenly entered my head.
"Should I tell Sakura?" I looked at Meiling for a reaction but received a shaking of her head.
"Leave her be Syaoran, after you marry Tomoyo, don't think of her."
From the silence I heard voices rising from downstairs getting louder and louder.
Meiling and I rushed downstairs to find Eriol standing in front of Tomoyo. Sheifa and Fanran glared angrily at whilst Tomoyo looked as if she were to cry.
"What's going on?" I said getting pretty fucking pissed at everything.
"Him" Fanran said stabbing a finger at Eriol. "He just fucking barges in here and starts shouting at Tomoyo to leave with him to London and all this shit."
"He wasn't shouting." Tomoyo said rising up to defend him. "He was just about to leave.
"No Tomoyo I told you I'm not leaving here without you."
"Eriol," I said with true sympathy for him. "Maybe you should just leave,"
"Why are going through with this Syaoran?" He pleaded with me for answers I couldn't give.
"Look piano boy," Fanran said slinking her way over to him. "It's over. These two are getting married in about ten minutes so I suggest you find someone else to elope with. I hear Sakura's single now, I think the two of you would fit nicely in Canada."
"That's enough Fanran!" I said ready to lunge at her.
She gaped at me in horror. "You're yelling at Me? ME! Seriously! He's the one who was fucking your fiancée!" She said pointing to Eriol.
The whole room gasped and I saw Tomoyo catch her breath in realisation of what Fanran just said. Sonomi backed away in absolute shock from her daughter.
"Not the angel everyone thought you were now are you Tomoyo-chan" Fanran said in a mocking tone that made Eriol tense him jaw.
Feimei shook her head in disbelief. "No, Tomoyo that's not true is it?"
Tomoyo looked away ashamed.
"Oh lets not stop there what about you Syaoran? Tell me now, was having an affair with Sakura revenge on Tomoyo or could you just not help yourself?"
"Silence Fanran," Sheifa roared, but that didn't stop Fanran.
"Why? Why should I be quiet? Did I do anything bad? No! I married the man I was forced to like a good girl, I never cheated, I was faithful I did everything I was supposed to and I'm being punished for it? Seriously?"
"You're jealousy is disgusting Fanran!" Sheifa spat.
"Get of your fucking high horse Sheifa, mother's dead and I won't have someone else tell me what to do."
"Tomoyo say this isn't true," Feimei chanted.
"Everyone just calm down!" Meiling interfered.
"I'm sorry, so sorry," Tomoyo mumbled.
"You see what you're marrying into! I won't let my child be brought into this?"
"What do you mean your child?" Sheifa barked.
"Oh my God you're pregnant with his child aren't you!" Somoni cried.
"What!" Feimei yelped while tangling both her hands in her hair with utter confusion. "T-Tomoyo you cheated on Syaoran? B-But why? You two guys love each other don't you? Don't you?" Her head rotated from myself to Tomoyo and we both looked in the opposite way too ashamed to admit out loud that we felt nothing for each other.
Everyone screamed at each other. Secrets were revealing themselves. I was the only one who remained silent and watched like a spectator to this…this horror movie. Fanran's piercing laugh rose above it all.
Sakura… Maybe it's a good thing I never brought you into all of this. Maybe you got away easy.
"Y-you're pregnant, but it's not Syaoran's?" I saw Feimei's eyes swell up in disappointment for Tomoyo.
"You are not my child…I didn't raise you like this…I don't know what you are anymore." Sonomi presented her back to Tomoyo as if to reject her.
"Tomoyo please…" Eriol pleaded.
"She's not going anywhere with you!" Sonomi Screamed.
"Seriously everyone calm down!"
I felt myself getting a headache. Is this what you wanted mother? Are you smiling at all this chaos? Is this how you wanted to see your children? The sophisticated, upper class Li's fighting like dogs amongst themselves. Sonomi, enraged grabbed her purse and stabbed a dirty glare at Tomoyo. "You are not my daughter." She spat and marched out of the house.
Tomoyo pulled openly at her hair and tried not to cry. Eriol tried to comfort her but she kept shaking her head and mentally wishing she weren't here.
"EVERYBODY STOP!" I roared managing to drown everyone out into silence.
I felt my breathing intense but slowly starting to ease. I imagined Sakura here with me, telling me to do what I think is right.
"Everything that was said in the room does not leave this room understand?" I said glaring at every one of them. Most of them nodded in fear and I could see the promise in their eyes that they would not repeat a syllable said here. Only Eriol and Fanran kept tight lipped.
"And what if something were to slip out to the wrong person?" Fanran challenged with a sly, almost crazy smirk.
"Who would believe you Fanran? It's your word against mine. Not only would you be seen as a liar but a spiteful brat who feels wronged. You utter the wrong thing and I'll cut you from this family in a second."
That made her snap her mouth shut and sit down. She surrendered.
"Eriol…" I had not the right words for Eriol. Nothing I would say would make him happy. I guess his friendship was something I'd have to sacrifice. "I'm sorry, but Tomoyo and I must do this. If you want your child to have any sort of a future, you'll let us do this. Please…"
He looked lost as his grip around Tomoyo's wrist slowly loosened.
"We have to leave now. I'm sorry Eriol."
I nodded to Meiling who ushered the rest of them out. Tomoyo who was speechless cupped his lost face and chanted over and over again, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…so sorry," He let her go and stared at the spot she used to be in. I had no idea what he would do now, but as long as we could get away from him for a while, then we could do what was supposed to be done.
"Wait!" Fuutie screamed bursting in through the back door. "Where are you going?"
"To the chapel Fuutie now hurry up".
"Bu-B-But S-Syaoran I have to talk with you." She shuffled on the spot clenching her fists in front of her face.
"Not now Fuutie."
"But-"
"I said not now!" I placed a hand behind Tomoyo urging her to move faster before Eriol broke from his trance.
"No Syaoran it has to be now! NOW! Before it's too late!"
"What are you talking about Fuutie?" Feimei said getting annoyed.
"It's about dad!" She yelled which halted my feet, making my body ridged. The air around us became thick with the mention of dad.
"Fuutie what-"
"What have I told you about this Fuutie! Do not dare mention those filthy little lies. Now of all times." Sheifa screamed and glared at her threateningly.
"Maybe you think they're lies but Syaoran deserves to know!" She began to cry out of frustration.
"You're a foul little liar Fuutie and we are hearing none of it!"
"You weren't there Sheifa! You don't know! You don't know ANYTHING! I was there and I know what I saw I know what happened." I've never seen Fuutie so angry and tense like this before. She would crumble with this secret if she didn't let it out.
"Fuutie…" I said stepping towards her and gripping her shoulders. "You…know? About dad."
"Yes." She whispered.
"She knows nothing! It's just an attention thing pay no attention to her. We must leave Syaoran now!"
"I'm not lying Sheifa I'm not!"
"lying about what?" Meiling stepped forward between Sheifa and Fuutie and I.
"The night dad died… I was there. I heard everything."
For a moment I thought the world stopped. I didn't know whether or not I heard her right. I felt my hands twitch and something squeeze my heart.
"Fuutie if you even mention anything about that I swear to God-"
"Don't threaten her." Meiling interjected.
Everyone else sat quietly with eyes wide open as if experiencing a thriller and waiting for the revelation to happen.
Sheifa and Meiling locked eyes like two soldiers ready to kill each other. Alas, Sheifa caved. She tossed her head back and laughed.
"Fine, go on the Fuutie. Tell everyone this ridiculous story of your, then see who believes you." Sheifa took a seat on the edge of the couch and looked at Fuutie encouraging her.
Everyone, even Fanran, said nothing but kept their eyes fixed on Fuutie. Fuutie blushed but kept her attention on me only. It felt she was saying this not to anyone else, just me, we were the only two people in the room. She closed here eyes as to compose herself.
"Do you remember the night dad died?"
I nodded and ignored my heart which was beginning to race….
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