APOV
I jumped and ran as fast as I could. I had to get away! They were right behind me. Run! Run! Don't look back! My legs felt like they were burning and going to fall off, but I couldn't stop. My legs managed to move faster across the forest floor. I jumped over a log and pushed plants out of my way. 'Keep running,' was all I could think of. I wasn't fast enough.
"AAAAAAAHHH!" I yelled as one of them grabbed onto my leg. I picked up a branch from the surrounding forest and hit it on the head before it could bite me. Where were the Cullens and Paul? They should have been here by now. I kept running but it latched onto my leg again and this time I didn't have any time to push it off before it sunk his sharp marshmallow teeth into my leg.
"WHY!" I yelled as I felt my body change. One of them, the leader I presumed came up. Marshmallow ducks and blue bunnies surrounded him, the only pink bunny marshmallow there. The sugar on him glittered in the burning forest around us. He scowled at me and then grinned. I looked down at my leg that was bitten by one of the marshmallow bunnies and saw that it was turning into marshmallow too!
"NOOO! NOOO! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"
"Allison wake up!"
I sat up and opened my eyes to see Edward looking at me with amusement. I jumped out of bed and went to my full-length mirror. I sighed in relief that my leg wasn't turning into a marshmallow. Suddenly Edward burst out laughing. I scowled and sat down on my bed.
"Why did you dream of killer vampire marshmallow bunnies?" he chuckled.
"I don't know," I grumbled, "Wait! How'd you know?"
"You were screaming, 'don't let the marshmallow bunny bite me! No! I'm turning into a marshmallow!" He laughed again and suddenly a loud booming laugh joined in. Emmett waltzed in along with Alice. All of them stood around me laughing. I found it very offensive. I crossed my arms and pouted.
"Doesn't anyone understand the meaning of privacy! Flying pickles! I could have been sleeping naked and all of you just burst into my room! Get Out!" I stood pointing to the door. All of them looked at me in surprise before walking out of the room. As I was shutting the door I heard Edward laugh again.
He had no idea what was going to happen to him… Silly Sparklepire ….
Step 1:
Today was the perfect day to start! Bella was sitting with Edward in the living room and since I had an awesome mind I was currently reciting the alphabet backwards and practicing French irregular verbs… surprised at my awesomness? Exactly!
I grabbed my camera, and ipod dock that Esme and Carlisle got for me and walked downstairs. I didn't want to go overboard so all I had on were my distressed jeans and a purple and black zebra striped tee shirt. I put the camera on the living room table that would capture Edward and Bella's reaction and my amazing dance moves! I walked into the living room with a straight face and turned on the music. [The Bad Touch by the Bloodhound Gang]
I started singing and dancing in front of them. Edward recognized the song and pinched the bridge of his nose. Bella looked at me with wide eyes and her mouth hanging open. If I wasn't doing one of the best performances of my whole fricken' life I would have laughed at her face.
Sweat baby sweat baby sex is a Texas drought
Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about
So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts
Yes I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert and you're getting two thumbs up
You've had enough of two-hand touch you want it rough you're out of bounds
I want you smothered want you covered like my Waffle House hashbrowns
Come quicker than FedEx never reach an apex just like Coca-Cola stock you are inclined
To make me rise an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time
As soon as Bella heard the lyrics she blushed so bad I thought her face would stay like that. She knew I was singing this to embarrass Edward about their "compromise".
Do it now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Gettin' horny now
I grabbed my ipod dock and walked calmly back up to my room without a word.
Step 2:
I set the camera on the dashboard and looked out the windshield.
"Hurry up Jake!" I looked back through the binoculars and saw Edward turn to my direction. I gasped and pushed Jake out of the way.
The Volvo started and I quickly pressed my foot down on the accelerator. It swerved on the road and I almost crashed it into a tree. But I didn't!
"Allison give me the wheel!" Jake's eye were so scared I laughed.
"Relax, I got it under control," I swerved around an old lady who was driving way to slow. I put my head out of the window and yelled, "HEY GRANDMA! MOVE OUT OF THE WAY! WE HAVE STUFF TO DO!"
Suddenly I found myself in the passengers seat. I looked over and saw Jake at the wheel.
He turned to look at me and sighed in relief. "I thought you were gonna kill us!"
"JAKE LOOK OUT!" The brakes screeched, but the car didn't stop.
Step 3:
"Do you have any idea how much damage you did! I'm going to have to get a whole new car! You destroyed it!" Edward was blabbing on and on about the pretzel-err I mean car that was around a pole in the highway. I spaced out after he yelled my name. Besides it was Jake who crashed the car. Luckly he jumped out with me before we were squished to death.
"I could send you to jail for what you did to my car!" I got completely irritated and had finally had enough.
"Okay you have no right to send me to jail! If you remember correctly Paul and I almost got stuck in the slammer already! There is no need to include the coppers! And if you want to then I should tell them about your unhealthy relationship with Bella! I mean It's practically pedophilia! You're 109 years old! You could be sent to jail! So stick that in your toilet and flush it!" I crossed my arms and walked away.
"That last part made absolutely no sense," he whispered.
Step 4:
"Sooooooooooooooooooooooooo," I said flipping the page in the magazine and reading. After a few minutes he finally responded.
"Why did you say 'so' if you were not going to say anything?" He asked already irritated.
"I was getting to that part! Sheesh! Someone is impatient!" I flipped to next page and after another sigh from Edward I finally spoke.
"Sooooooooooooooooooo, Tanya called yesterday and I told her to have her wedding dress ready."
"Why would you do that!" his eyes were widened in horror.
"Because you said the wedding would be in like a few months! DUH!"
"I meant my wedding to Bella!"
"Oohhhhhhhhhh. I get it now… Well Tanya will still be here in about 5 minutes. Let's see how you get yourself out of this one buddy. How could you be engaged to two people at once! Gosh!"
Step 5:
The camera was currently on top of my head on a cardboard hat that looked like fangs. I had made it myself yesterday with no help from anyone! I even got to use big girl scissors to cut a hole for the lens!
I walked into the living room carefully so that the hat wouldn't fall off. I sat down on the couch and looked at Edward who was looking at me with the weirdest expression ever.
I would say it was his constipated vampire face, but it could also be his 'what the fudge' vampire face . . .
"Sup, Edward."
"What- never mind. I don't want to know."
"Oh so now I'm not important anymore! I see how it is" I yelled getting up.
"No. That's not what I meant-"
"Oh yea and I'm supposed to believe you! Why do you always start fights with me!"
"Allison you're over reacting." he stated calmly.
"OH BITE ME EDWARD!" I stomped out of the room with my hat/camera.
Step 6:
"Bella love I brought you everything in the whole wide world!" I imitated Edwards voice perfectly . . . or close enough. I laughed with Jasper and Emmett.
"I wonder who wears the pants in that relationship?" Emmett's voice boomed through the house. I leaned against him while laughing louder. When I finally calmed down I spoke again.
"Wow that Romeo sure gets corny when he's with Bella," I giggled. This was all harmless fun. It was true, though. Edward did get corny when he was with Bella, but all the love clichés were actually true with them. Sigh . . . the power of true love.
"You got that right," Jasper chuckled. We heard the door shut and Edward walked in with his arm around Bella, smiling like a goofball. One glance at Emmett and Jasper and we burst out laughing.
"Oh. . . gosh . . It's . . " I gasped out in between laughs.
"ROMEO!" we sung still laughing. Edwards face lost his smile and looked at us like we were crazy.
"What are you laughing at?" he was confused because he clearly still didn't get it!
"ROMEO!" we roared out laughing again. Clutching my side I fell on the floor laughing like a maniac.
"I . . .can't . . . breathe!" I giggled.
"HAHAHAHAHA!" Emmetts laugh was by far the loudest and it made me laugh even harder.
"I don't understand. What's going on here?" asked Edward frustrated once again. We stopped laughing abruptly. Looking at each other.
I squinted my eyes and looked at everyone suspiciously. "I. Don't. Know." I looked around the room. I pointed my fingers to my eyes and then to them. "I'm watching you," I whispered and slowly and cautiously made my way out of the room. I shut the door.
"ALWAYS WATCHING! MUAHAHAHAH!"
Step 7:
"ALLISON! " I looked up and waddled to his room, doing my 'wet toenails walk'.
"Edward what are you whining about this time. I was in the middle of something important!" I glanced down at my awesome pedicure I had just given myself.
"You left my C.D.'s out again!" he sighed glaring pointedly at all the cases that were strewn through his room.
"! You better clean that up before Esme sees what a mess you made!" I chuckled and turned around about to leave.
"Allison! I hate when you do this! I need you to put them back!" he crossed his arms, "These are important to me."
"What are you gonna do about it? Go to Italy?" I huffed and walked back to my room.
Step 8:
I looked at Edwards "bronze" hair in the sunlight, but something seemed off. In the books it always described his hair as "bronze". Why? Hmmmmmmmmm…
"OMG! I know!" I got up off the floor and pointed at Edward accusingly.
"Why are you so ashamed to be a red head Edward!" I sobbed.
He looked at me. Probably questioning my sanity.
"There is nothing to be ashamed about! Stop calling your hair bronze! STOP WITH ALL THE LIES! JUST ACCEPT THE FACT THAT YOU'RE A GINGER LIKE RON WEASLY!"
Step 9:
"I'm going to Bella's!" called Edward. I sat up straight smirking. Then I rushed out of my room, fake tears already pouring out.
"NOOO! WHY!" I fell to my knees in front of him. Everyone rushed onto the room staring with wide eyes. I held onto his legs tightly, like a little girl and sat on his feet.
"PLEASE! PLEASE EDWARD! DON'T LEAVE ME!" I yelled louder, clutching his jeans in my hands and looked up at his face with my puppy dog expression. ( Mine was better than Alice's)
"NOT AGAIN!" I sobbed louder and began sniffling. "DON'T GO!"
"W-what?" Edward asked incredulously staring at me.
Step 10:
Now that all the drama was behind us, it was time to have a little bit of fun.
I snuck into Edwards room and took . . . PICTURES OF HIM NAKED!
Nah just kiddin. I took his silver cell phone and changed the ringtone. I had the perfect song that said so much about him. It was one of the many annoying things I had in store for this family. Muahhhahahhahah!
I placed it back in his room and got Emmett to drive me to Bella's house. Edward had just arrived…with his phone . . . Hehehe. I knew from Alice that Charlie had wanted to talk to him and according to my calculations that should be right…about…now! I quickly speed dialed his phone and looked in through Bella's kitchen window. BINGO! Charlie was standing right next to Edward! Could this get any better!
The windows were open, due to the warm weather and suddenly you could hear Madonna's song 'Like a Virgin' blasting from Edwards pocket.
I giggled and laughed at their faces. Bella's face was red, while Charlie's was turning into a strange purpley color. Edward's eyes were wide and embarrassment radiated from him. I laughed louder and even snorted. They all looked put the window at me with my cell phone by my ear.
Edwards face turned murderous.
Time to leave. I got up and ran as fast as I could. I heard Edwards angry call and hurriedly ran into the woods. Suddenly everything went black and I heard a soft "Ow."