APOV
I didn't remember where I was. All I could feel was dirt underneath my finger tips. I groaned and turned around slowly opening my eyes. I was still in the woods.
"Finally! I thought you were dead!"
I turned towards the familiar voice. I got up off the floor and screamed.
"LAUREN! OMG! YAY!" I hugged her and looked at her shoes. They were chucks with Elvis's face on it. Still an Elvis Presley fan. Weirdo. Her light brown hair was tied up in a ponytail and she was wearing jeans and a tee shirt.
"Where the hell am I anyways?" she looked around confused.
"Your in Forks!" she looked at me weird
"No seriously, were are we?" she dusted off her jeans and looked around. Her green eyes looked back at me, noticing that I was completely serious.
"Oh wow we are in Forks."
"It gets better!" I jumped up and down excited. She looked at me cautiously.
"Your definition of better is way different from mine," I rolled my eyes at her comment and pulled her along out of the woods.
"You will be so excited to meet everyone!" I took my phone out of my pocket and dialed Emmett's number.
"Hello!" he sung out
"Emmy-bear!" I laughed.
"ALLI-BEAR!" he yelled.
"Can you pick me up? I'm with a friend outside of Bella's house," I looked over at Lauren and noticed she was confused.
"YEA! BE RIGHT THERE!" he hung up without a goodbye.
"Emmy-bear? Bella?" Lauren was confuzzled, well more than usual.
", we are in Forks . . . and all the Cullen's and Bella exists! Isn't that awesome!" I grinned waiting for her response.
"Oh God! Allison you've gone crazy and I've been sucked into your craziness with you," she held her head in her hands, "I didn't know your Obsessive Cullen Disorder was contagious."
"It's not! and why does everyone say I'm crazy!" I huffed and crossed my arms.
"As long as you're here nothing will be boring. So I might as well enjoy you're weirdness," she sighed. I heard tires screech on the road and turned o see Emmett coming to a stop in front of Bella's house. The doors swung open and I saw Emmett wearing a suit and dark sunglasses.
"GET IN EDWEIRDO IS MAD ABOUT YOUR TRICK! QUICK! HE'S COMING!"
I turned and saw Edward walking out of Bella's house. NO! I jumped into the car and we drove off.
Well until we realized that I left Lauren behind. After we got her, then we left.
"That was close!" Emmett sighed, "Well see ya! Eddie's gonna want revenge. You're on your own." He ran inside calling Rosalie. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
Emmett ditched us. I believe that I said this before…REVENGE. . MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHH!MUAHAAAHAHAHAHAH!
"Allison stop laughing like that! It creeps me out," Lauren stood to the side arms crossed.
"OHMYPAUL! I FORGOTS TO TELL YOU!"
"First stop screaming! Then talk," Lauren crossed her arms waiting for me to continue.
I took a deep breath, "Paul imprinted on me! Oh and you have to meet everyone!" I started pulling her towards the house.
"Wait!" she pulled her hand out of my grasp, "Paul! Werewolf Paul that is friends with Jacob!" she questioned.
"Yups! You have to meet the Cullen's now! Then I'll get Jake to pick us up to go to La Push!" I skipped into the house and called everyone to come to the living room. As soon as everyone sat down, including Carlisle; it was his day off, I introduced everyone to Lauren.
"This is one of my bestestest friends from my world! It's cool, she knows all about the vamps and werewolves!" I smiled and pushed her forward. Esme gave her a hug and told her she was welcome to stay with us. Carlisle shook her hand and smiled, Emmett crushed her in a bear hug, Rose managed a small smile, Alice hugged her and started talking about going shopping. Fun… and Edward…he wasn't here yet. Good.
I called Jake and asked him to pick us up. Paul was wolf patrol or whatever. Yay! I could surprise him! As we were about to leave the evil pixie attacked and moments later I was in a summer dress and heels. Whatever…
"Jake!" I yelled and hugged him, "This is my friend Lauren, she knows about your weirdness and that you're a wolf! I also told her to be careful when you drive."
"Yeeeeaaaaaaaaaaa, nice to meet you, and Allison is always this crazy especially now," Lauren smirked.
"AM NOT!" I yelled and stuck out my tongue, "SHOTGUN!" I ran to the passengers seat and shut the door. Moments later Lauren and Jake came to the car laughing. Freaks.
Halfway through the ride to La Push I got bored soo, . . . I sang! I made up a song all by myself! :P
"Myyyyyyyyyy vampires bring all the wolves to the yard! And they're like! It's better than yours! Dang right! It's better than yours!" I took a deep breath and continued, "You can look but you can't touch it, if you touch it, Imma. Start some drama! Nononono drama!"
"It won't stop!" goraned Lauren covering her ears.
"Please make it stop!" yelled Jake driving up to the reservation. I jumped out of the car as soon as I saw one of my favorite people ever.
"PAUL!" I ran up to him. It was like a romantic scene from a movie when the girl runs up to the handsome guy and the meet in the middle and hug. Except those girl had better balance and weren't wearing heels running on the beach.
Like expected, I tripped and fell on my butt in the cold wet sand. *pout*
Everyone laughed at me! Not cool.
"Are you okay?" chuckled Paul helping me up. I huffed and crossed my arms. Stupid idiot werewolf.
"Oh jeez!" laughed Lauren, "That was-and then you fell-" she couldn't finish a sentence and continued laughing.
"I think you're worse than Bella!" laughed Jake. I scowled.
"Awww. I think wittle Allison got her feewings huwt," he teased in a baby voice.
"Oh yea well lets see what hurts when I shove my heel up your-"
"Okay! Stop torturing Allison," interrupted Paul putting a hand over my mouth. I bit it.
"OW!" I stuck my tongue out and turned around. He hugged me and spun me around to face him.
"Forgive me?" he asked pouting.
"Urgh! Whatever," I sighed. He grinned and kissed me, "So anyways. I need help."
"You finally admit it!" exclaimed Lauren grinning.
"As I was saying! I need help annoying Emmett! He ditched us to feel the wrath of Edward when he was super moody! So I have a plan!" I grinned my evil grin and looked at all their frightened faces. Heheheh.
Step 1:
"So Jake is the awesome cameraman person, Paul is who gets to carry the purse of evil," he scowled. That's what he gets for laughing at me when I fell, "Lauren will-"
"I am not getting involved in another of your crazy ideas. I'll just observe," she shrugged.
"Urgh fine! I can do this on my own!" I handed the camera to Jake who turned it on and tossed my purse of evil to Paul. He glared at me and I smirked. I walked into the house where Emmett was currently watching a football game.
"Emmett?"
"Yea," he said distracted.
"Did you know you look like a creepy stalker rapist?"
His head shot up. "I do not!" he ran up to a mirror. Sucker.
Step 2:
Emmett had just gotten home from hunting and was smiling like a weirdo. I don't know why and I probably will never want to know why. His smiling was getting creepy, so I decided to wipe it off his face in the nicest way possible.
"You have grizzly in your teeth,"
Step 3:
"Emmett I told you not to leave your clothes all over our room!"
"Sorry Rosie," I heard Emmett sigh and begin to pick everything up.
"HAHAHAHAHa! I wonder who wears the pants in that relationship?" I laughed
"That's definitely me!" yelled Emmett, throwing everything back down on the floor.
"Emmett you better pick all that up! Right now!" Rose came back into the room and glared at him.
"Yes Rose," he pouted and knelt down to pick everything up again.
Step 4:
"Hold on tight! If I fall you will die!" I warned securing the harness around my waist. Paul was holding the rope. He began pulling which cause me to rise up close to the ceiling. As soon as the top of my head touched the ceiling I gave the signal. Everyone hid.
"This I have to see," said Lauren hiding behind the sofa. I rolled my eyes and grasped the stake in my right hand. I heard Emmett's jeep pull up on the driveway. I grinned and as soon as the door opened I swung towards him yelling, "Die Monster!"
I was coming straight at him with the stake.
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" he yelled and ran back out the door. I started laughing, but I was still swinging in mid air.
"Get me down from here!" I yelled holding on to the rope for dear life.
Step 5:
I hobbled towards the living room on my crutches. Glaring at anyone who looked my way. Paul trailed behind still apologizing.
"For the last time it's not your fault! Jake is the one who made you drop me!" I scowled at Jacob. He gave me an apologetic smile. I rolled my eyes and sat on the sofa as they hid. Emmett was playing with the Xbox. I looked over his bulky figure suddenly knowing exactly what to say.
"Cough," I said, "cough, cough." he finally turned around. I stared at him. He rolled his eyes.
"What is it Allison?" He questioned raising an eyebrow.
"Well, uhhum," I cleared my throat obnoxiously loud, "cough!"
"Are you gonna talk or not?"
"Jeez you're just as impatient as Edward. Now I don't want to tell you," he continued staring for a whole minute. Finally, just as he was about to unpause his game I blurted out really fast, "Brawn is out, Scrawn is in!" then with as much grace as possible got my crutches and hobbled back out of the room.
Step 6:
I looked at the last piece of pie on the platter on the dining room table. Quickly I placed it on a dessert plate and turned to leave with the last piece of yummylicious pie.
But of course the pie knig hates me and doesn't want me to eat pie because he placed a large vampire were no one would see him and accidently smash pie on him.
Emmett's shirt now held my pie. THE PIE. *sigh*
"Well thanks a lot!" I exclaimed throwing my arms in the air, "How does it feel to be the least liked Cullen male? HUH! Not good? Too bad! You ruined my pie!" I had ditched my crutched cause now I had a leg brace. I limped away from the dead pie on Emmett's shirt.
"It's just pie!" He yelled.
"It was THE pie!"
Step 7:
After the whole pie incident with Emmett things had to get more inappropriate to actually piss him off. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. . .
"LIGHTBULB!" I exclaimed like the dude from Despicable Me. Love him! That movie was awesome! The unicorn is so fluffy! FLUFFY! . . . good times . . . back to my idea. It was smart.
I limped into the living room and grabbed a magazine. I glanced at Emmett from the corner of my eye and saw him completely focused on the football game.
I pretended to be enthralled in the magazine. That's right. I know big words.
"hmmmm," I hummed flipping a page. I saw Emmett glance at me, "I wonder what Rosalie calls Emmett in bed?" I continued flipping pages. Then looked up to Emmett's wide eyes with utter innocence.
"Did I say that out loud?" I gasped. Internally laughing at Emmett's awkwardness. MUAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Step 8:
I saw Rosalie's legs peek out from under Emmett's jeep. Emmett was currently waxing his jeep. He had been at it for 6 hours already. Why did he have to have such a big good looking car . . .
. . . LIGHTBULB! . . .
I shuffled out to the driveway and casually leaned against one of the tires of the jeep. It was higher than my waist. I still had my magazine from before. I flipped a few pages and blew bubbles on my gum. Hehehe . . . Bubble Gum.
"Soooooooooooooo," I drew out placing my sunglasses on top of my head, "What's goodie?"
Emmett gave me a weird look and went back to waxing the car. I started thinking to myself out loud.
"Jeez why does Emmett have such a BIG car? Oh! HE's probably overcompensation for something. . . . HAHAHAHA!" I burst out laughing leaning on the jeep. I sniffed and continued flipping through the magazine, "Yea that's probably it."
"IS NOT!" yelled Emmett while Rose giggled.
Step 9:
I ignored him crossed my legs and thought out loud again, "LIGHTBULB!" I sang out, "If he's not overcompensating for something with the car, then he must be overcompensation for something with those muscle! That's it! I am smarter than a pig eating bacon and dancing with chicken liver!" I smile to myself happy with my conclusion.
"That's a lie!" exclaimed Emmett, staring at me with confusion written all over his vampire face.
Step 10:
"I'm sure it is Emmett," I said not believing it for one bit.
"Rose! Help me out with this one!" he pleaded. Rose came out from under the car. She had on grease stained overalls and her hair tied back in a pony tail.
"You're on your own," she wiped her hands on a towel and threw it at him as she walked inside.
I laughed quietly as Emmett got more frustrated.
"Those are all lies!" he yelled turning back to me.
"That's not what Rosalie said!" I sang as. As I walked away I saw a bucket of mud on the driveway. It was just chilling there, as cool as a cucumber. No one planned for this to happen! It was purely coincidental- okay so maybe I told Paul to put it there.
I picked it up and flung the mud onto the jeep. "You missed a spot! Looks like you got caught! Cuz u ditched me with moody Edward! He reminds me of Squidward! Can't think of more rhymy words! Oh look there are birds!" I sang quickly limping my way inside.
All I have to say is, "Pwned Emmett. You just got Pwned, owned and . . . some other word that rymes with pwned. Yes! I am Fan-freakin-tabulous! Imma be the next Dr. Seuss!
AN: Anyone interested in Twilight Role Play? Visit .net/myforums/MizzLotte98/2344316/ please! You won't regret it! They need a few more vamp characters and a lot of the hot wolf pack dudes! ;)