SasoDei Just Another Day

by Keono

Sequel to An Unordinary Day. Just when Deidara thinks that his life is finally starting to get better, reality decides to give him a hard slap across the face. Will Deidara ever live a normal life? SasoDei, MPREG, lemons, you get the drill!

3. Chapter 3

SasoDei – Just Another Day

Part 3

A Collab between Keono and Woolfy

Konan practically dragged Deidara to the many stores of the outlet mall, even though she had no idea where she was going. She walked up to an employee and tapped her shoulder, still holding Deidara's hand. "Where do you keep your maternity clothes?"

Deidara turned bright red in embarrassment and took his hand back from the bluenette. "We are not going to shopping for fucking pregnant chick clothes! I want food, un!" Deidara stormed off to the food court with Konan trying to get him back.

"Come on, Dei! We'll go shopping for other clothes instead! Baby clothes? I bet you it's a girl!" Konan yelled after him and the blonde just kept on walking, trying to find a nacho stand. "Why aren't you happy?" She finally asked.

Deidara stopped and turned around to glare at the teen. He walked over to her briskly, towering over her as he glared. "How would you fucking feel if you found out you were randomly pregnant and couldn't get an abortion? That even though you hated kids, your boyfriend is forcing you to keep the fucking parasite, un? That once things finally settled down, it suddenly changes again and you can never having a fucking normal life?"

Konan blinked up at him. "Well... It's a yaoi baby! It's different!" She exclaimed and Deidara rolled his eyes.

"I'm not shopping for baby clothes, un."

"Then let's shop for other clothes!" Konan said dramatically. She grabbed Deidara's wrist this time and pointed in a random direction. "Onward!" She began running with a grumbling Deidara.

-x

"What about this one?" Konan asked as she stepped out of a dressing room in a corset with the strings attached the underwear. The pattern was a dark blue with black lace and Deidara just stared at her.

"Why're you asking me? I like dick, un."

Konan pouted and crossed her arms. "Well at least we know you're not bi-sexual."

Deidara almost groaned. "We established that like five outfits ago! My opinion, the purple lingerie dress was the best on you, un," Deidara said. His voice completely contradicted his words since it seemed like he was reading a script and it seemed like he was the world's most terrible actor.

Konan just laughed and went back into the dressing room. "You don't like shopping, do you? And when you had all that money?"

"I don't mind shopping, I just hate shopping for clothes…Even before I was poor and carrying the fucking spawn of Satan inside of me, un." Deidara crossed his arms as Konan bought the blue and black corset, both continuing on to the food hall to get some lunch.

"But shopping for clothes is awesome! I hope Pein likes this corset~" Deidara simply flipped the girl the bird before they at last went to the nacho stand to get food.

-x-

After scoffing down some tasty nachos, the two continued their shopping; that being the bluenette dragging Deidara everywhere. Soon she pulled him to an unknown store, and he realised too late just what it was. The next moment he was surrounded on all sides by shelves of baby clothes, toys, rattles, pacifiers, and other infant-related goods. Deidara's face paled and he tried to run away, but was stopped by Konan grabbing onto him, keeping him in place, "Come on Dei, shopping for yaoi-baby stuff is fun!"

"FUCK NO!" He got a few sharp looks from the several pairs of nearby parents, some having young children with them. Deidara sneered and tried once again to escape but without success, crossing his arms with an angry pout, "I don't want to, un…"

Konan just giggled and dragged him along the row of stuff until they came to the baby clothes, the bluenette beginning to pick out little outfits and waving them in front of the blonde's face, "Isn't this the cutest?" Deidara blinked sourly at the pink, flower patterned leotard-like outfit that the girl seemed to love.

"Fuck. No. I'm not cruel enough to let even this fucking parasite wear something so disgusting, un…" Deidara crossed his arms, eye twitching once he felt the baby kick against the inside of him, "…Can we go now?"

"No," Konan wiggled her finger at him to help chide, "we're not leaving until you pick something for your future yaoi-baby, young man. Sasori has been working hard for this baby; he's been doing everything! He quit his beloved job, found a better paying but boring one, he set up the nursery…What have you done aside from having the baby growing inside of you?"

Deidara flushed, giving a sneer of disgust, "I don't want to do anything, he's the one who wants to keep this thing! I've been against it from the start, un!" He got a few odd looks and once again felt the baby kick, shooting his belly a dark glare, "I'VE TOLD YOU TO STOP MOVING! I'M YOUR FUCKING MUMMY; DO WHAT I SAY!" It was a good thing that all the people had walked off after his last comment, or else he may have been kicked out of the shopping centre.

"Come on, Dei," Konan gave a sad pout, "you have to pick out at least a shirt…Why don't you get one for a boy just in case it isn't a girl? But I really do hope it is a girl, and it probably will be…" The bluenette began to pet Deidara's belly while giving a grin, "You're a little girl, right? OMG, she totally just kicked! She's is a girl!"

Deidara sneered at her, "Liar, it didn't just kick, un. I can fucking feel it when it does, idiot." Konan pouted and crossed her arms, but didn't let up on forcing the blonde to choose something.

"Come on, Dei! How about you pick it out and I'll pay for it?" Deidara continued to stay in one spot. "Just one shirt? Or a onesie?" Nothing. Konan growled. "Fine, then I'll pick something out!" She stomped over to some clothes angrily but automatically 'awwed' when she saw the 'perfect' thing for the baby. "It's so freaking adorable!" She held up a light blue onesie with "Mama's boy" written across it. "It'll be true, too!" Konan paused. "If it is a boy, that is, but if not then Daddy's Girl!"

Deidara sneered and snatched the article of clothing from the girl before throwing it to the ground. "What makes you think I'll like this thing when it's born? I hate it now, and I will hate it then!"

Konan just pouted. "That's not true. When this little girl is born I want you to tell me that you love her!" Deidara rolled his eyes as Konan picked up the onesie. "I'm buying it and I know Sasori will take it... Will he be mad at you since we're playing hooky?"

Deidara scoffed and walked out of the store. "Like I give a fuck; he can't do shit to me, un!"

-x-

"I'm sorry, un!" Deidara almost sobbed as his angry lover stood over him.

When Deidara had gotten back from a day of shopping Sasori was waiting for him. He explained how his parents had gotten a call that he wasn't at school then Sasori had got it at the apartment after waiting an hour at the school for the blonde and now he had a punishment to give. "Why did you skip school? You need to graduate so you can also have a job, Brat."

Deidara winced as his old pet-name was used. "I-I... Look what I got!" He yelled before grabbing a shopping bag that Konan had left once she saw an angry Sasori, though she had thankfully grabbed her lingerie. Deidara pulled out the blue onesie, hoping that Sasori would stop glaring at him. "S-see?" He asked as he gave the thing to the redhead, not wanting to hold it anymore.

Sasori's eyebrows shot up once he saw what it was. "You actually bought this?"

Deidara turned bright red and tried to find a lie but somehow tell the truth? "K-Konan picked it out and all and... she, uh, paid for it but it's here right now, un..." Deidara said weakly.

Sasori canvassed the clothing and sighed before letting his hand fall to his side. "You aren't supposed to skip school-"

"I know that now, un!" Deidara said as he forced a smile onto his face.

Sasori blinked slowly at the blonde, before giving a harsh sigh, "Fine then, but next time you skip school there will be dire consequences…And I also have to punish you now." Deidara pouted and crossed his arms, "You have to help me put together the chest of drawers that I ordered from the furniture store the other day. It arrived a bit ago but I haven't had time to put it together."

Sasori smirked and the blonde flushed slightly as he realised who the chest of draws was meant for, "FUCK NO! I DON'T WANNA DO ANYTHING FOR THIS FUCKING PARASITE, UN!" Deidara sneered and made a move to storm off, but Sasori grabbed him before he got anywhere.

"Well you should have thought of that before you skipped school~" Sasori smirked down at him and before the blonde could object, he pressed their lips together. Deidara moaned and instantly kissed back, opening his mouth for the red head after a few moments. He wrapped his arms around Sasori's neck, his knees going weak as the red head began to molest his mouth using his tongue. After at least a minute of kissing Sasori pulled apart, still smirking, though now with an evil glint in his eyes, "Help me put the chest of drawers together, or else you're never getting laid ever again~"

Deidara looked up at him like a deer in headlights, giving the red head a look of terrified awe. Whilst he knew that Sasori probably wouldn't follow through with the threat, he didn't even want to risk it. Deidara gave a harsh sigh and plodded his head forward against the twenty year old's chest, "Fine…"

Sasori pouted slightly and rolled his eyes, "Gawd, you act like it's a death sentence or something…" The red head looked to the onesie for a few moments before giving a slight smirk, "Come on then, let's put it together."

He practically dragged the blonde to the nursery, placing the onesie down on the changing table where the baby clothes which Konan had given them sat as well. There was a large box in the corner which Sasori pulled into centre of the room, smirking at the younger male. Deidara groaned and slumped down on the ground, Sasori following a few moments later as they began to open the box.

-x-

Sasori finished placing the last draw into the assembled body of the light blue furniture, giving a smirk of success before turning to the blonde. Deidara was curled up on the soft carpeted floor, having fallen asleep after they had assembled all of the drawers, the red head having put the body of the furniture together by him self. Sasori looked at the blonde with tender eyes before giving a slight smile. He could never stay mad at the idiot. The red head stood up, giving the chest of drawers a questioning look for a few moments before deciding to put the clothes in it tomorrow. Sasori walked to their bedroom, pulling the pillows and blankets from the bed and carrying them back to the nursery, setting them up on the floor. He rested his head on one of the pillows and wrapped his arms around the blonde, pulling him close so that his head rested within the crook of Sasori's neck. Deidara mumbled slightly but didn't wake up, and the red head pulled the blanket over them before closing his eyes. That night, both of them slept on the floor of their future child's room.

-x-

"I'm fucking fat!" Deidara almost sobbed as he lied on his and Sasori's bed. He didn't even bother to try to put on his shirt, knowing just by looking at it that he wouldn't fit in it. Deidara whimpered and Sasori walked into the room slightly tired of the blonde freaking out.

"Yes, Babe, you've been saying that for the past week," He commented before going to the bed and sitting down by his lover.

Deidara sniffled and shook his head. "But now I'm fucking ugly!" It was true that the blonde had gained a little more weight... Well, not just a little. He was now twenty-six weeks pregnant and his stomach had become very noticeable. "I don't want to go to school anymore, un..." Deidara whispered into his pillow.

Sasori's ears perked up at this. "Oh, no, Babe. You're finishing school-"

"No, I'm not!" Deidara yelled as he sat up. "If you expect me to go to school looking like this, you are wrong, un! Everyone will be looking at me and gossiping and they'll know you're the father and then they'll think I'm a whore..." Deidara whispered as he sniffled some more. "I'm not going to school," He said before turning his head and lying back down.

Sasori sighed and ran a hand through his hair. It was Saturday morning which meant no school for two days. Maybe he could find an alternative for the blonde. He shook his head. There was no making everything easy. "How about if anyone talks about you badly I'll beat them up. Even girls," He promised.

"People can gossip without others knowing, Danna..."

"Konan's a really good eavesdropper, and all. She'll tell me if anyone is insulting you and the baby," Sasori reassured.

Deidara gave a sigh. "... Fine, but only for a little bit then I'm not going anymore, un." The blonde sat up and wrapped his arms around his knees, though his stomach prevented him from doing so tightly.

Sasori groaned. "We'll talk later," He muttered, before standing up. "Come on. Breakfast." Sasori held out his hand and Deidara took it, the redhead helping him up. He honestly wanted Deidara to be a stay at home "mom" but knowing the blonde's current feelings for his offspring made him think that that wouldn't work so well. Once they were situated at the table, eating some eggs, bacon and toast Sasori had prepared, the redhead took that as the time to strike. "So... I'm guessing you're going to want to go to school after you have the baby, right?"

Deidara just scoffed. "Hell yeah, anything to get me away from this thing, un." He took a big gulp of orange juice, and then moved on to some toast.

"So daycare at the school right? Where everyone can see the cuteness of our baby?"

The blonde froze and glared at Sasori. "No, I was thinking more of like in someone else's home-"

"We're keeping it," Sasori growled for the hundredth time.

"Well fine!" Deidara said, throwing his arms up in the air.

"So..." Sasori started as he leaned back in his chair. "It'll be hard to catch up with school once the baby is born so... why not stay at home?"

Deidara shrugged. "Okay, un," He said before chomping on some eggs.

Sasori looked up in disbelief. "So you're staying home?"

The blonde nodded. "Yep, if the thing is at a daycare."

Sasori gave a harsh sigh and massaged his temples, "If you are staying home then the baby will be at home as well. You'll have to take care of it while I'm at work, whether you want to or not."

Deidara sneered at him darkly, dropping his knife and fork melodramatically, "FUCK NO! I wanna stay as far away from this thing as possible, un."

The red head gave him a bored expression, "You don't have a choice; I can't take the baby to work with me, I'd be fired. And if I were fired then we would all end up on the streets."

The blonde growled, crossing his arms, "Fine then, I'll go to school and we can leave the thing home alone. Problem solved, un."

"You can't leave a baby home alone, Brat, especially not in the North!" Sasori ran a hand through his hair, giving a sharp sigh of irritation. "Okay then, how about this. You can stop going to school when you are eight months pregnant, and then a week after the baby is born, you can return to school while the baby is in the daycare. So when you're thirty two weeks you can stop school for a while, then you can return for graduation a week after the baby is born…And then you're going to be a stay-at-home mummy." Deidara made a move to debate, but the red head cut him off, "My word is final, Brat."

The blonde bit his lip, sneering darkly before looking away from the older male, "…Fine…But I fucking hate it, un…Don't be surprised if one day you come home from work and find me sticking my head in a fucking oven."

"I already said; no suicide…" Sasori grimaced slightly and hoped that by some miracle the blonde would, at least, come to not hate their baby.

"…I fucking hate this thing, un…" Deidara glared down at the large baby bump, still having no shirts that would fit him. "I hope it dies."

Sasori rolled his eyes and stood up, kneeling down next to the blonde with a smirk. Deidara raised an eyebrow at him, scowling once he realised what he was doing. The red head began to run his hands over the blonde's belly, before placing his cheek against the warm skin, "I've read that at this point they learn the sound of our voices~ Hello~" After a few moments, the red head felt a kick in response, causing him to give a warm hearted chuckle, "Awww, I don't know how you could hate your own child, Babe~ You love me, don't you?"

Deidara gave him a sour look and crossed his arms, "I might be beginning to reconsidering…Fucking ass, un…"

Sasori rolled his eyes and stood up, pulling the blonde into a kiss to which the younger male immediately responded to. Deidara moaned and wrapped his arms around the red head's neck, immediately forgetting his distress as his mouth began to get molested.

Though once he began to get into it Sasori pulled away. "Come on, let's find you a shirt," Sasori whispered against his lips.

Deidara just blushed and glared up at his lover. "Bastard," He grumbled as he got up and followed the redhead to their room. Once they got there they began going through some of Sasori's clothes, trying to find a shirt big enough.

"Sometimes I had to steal clothes and they weren't always the right fit. Plus me and my granny went to a lot of garage sales and she got me random clothes."

Deidara almost cringed at the idea. Yes, he hated clothes shopping, but he didn't hate it enough to actually wear someone else's used clothes. "Wait, so someone else has worn these clothes besides you?" Deidara asked, obviously repulsed.

Sasori rolled his eyes and began trying to find a shirt big enough for the blonde. "Some of them, yes."

Deidara just groaned and flopped down on their bed. "Why don't we just buy new clothes?"

Sasori nodded and looked at Deidara. "Sure, with the money we don't have. Sorry, Babe, but I've been saving for those drawers and I'm trying to get back on track-"

"It's been three fucking weeks!" Deidara growled as he sat up. "How long does it take to get some money for clothes?"

"Why spend money when we already have clothes that fit you?" Sasori asked as he forced a grey shirt on the blonde. It was a large sleeping shirt that Chiyo had gotten for him but Sasori rarely wore a shirt to sleep. It fit Deidara fine, his baby bump barely noticeable. "See, it's great, Babe~" Sasori smirked as he sat down next to his lover and pulled him into his lap.

Deidara just glared at the old shirt and then at the redhead. "Why do you always make me do things that I don't wanna do, un?" He questioned and Sasori just smiled sweetly as he tilted his head, getting ready to kiss the blonde.

"Because it's for your own good, Brat~" He whispered before crushing his lips to the younger males. Deidara almost rolled his eyes but straddled his lover, his fingers intertwined in his messy, crimson hair. Sasori licked the blonde's bottom lip and Deidara moaned loudly before opening up, engaging in a tongue war. Sasori almost smirked and moved his hands to go under the blonde's shirt, feeling the baby bump. The teen whined when Sasori's tongue teased his and the redhead was sure that he felt the baby kick. After a minute Sasori pulled away and Deidara whimpered, as he gasped for air. "Anyway, your parents called yesterday and they want to see us. I suggested that they come here and-" Sasori was interrupted when Deidara shoved his chest and got off of him.

"I TOLD THEM THREE MONTHS, UN! IT'S BEEN FUCKING TWO, YOU BASTARD! WHY THE FUCK MUST YOU ALWAYS MAKE MY LIFE A LIVING HELL, UN?" Deidara stormed out the room, flinching once he heard someone knocking at the door. He went to the entrance, opening the door to reveal his parents, flipping them the bird, "FUCK OFF!" He slammed the door in their faces and stormed off to a random room which ended up being the nursery.

Sasori gave a sigh and moved to the front door, opening it to reveal Deidara's shocked parents, "Sorry about that, I don't think he's forgiven you yet…Come in." They gave a nod and Deidara's mother looked like she was bordering on tears as they both entered the apartment. "Just give us a minute…"

Sasori moved into the nursery, finding the blonde curled up in the corner of the room, though he couldn't curl up that tightly due to his growing waist, "This baby is fucking ruining my life and it isn't even born yet…" Sasori knelt down next to the blonde, running his hands through his hair to try and soothe the younger male, "Why the hell do you even want to keep this thing, un…?"

The red head gave a sad frown and pulled the blonde into his lap, taking hold of Deidara's hand. He moved it under his shirt, pressing the younger male's palm against his growing belly. After a few moments, they both felt a kick. "That's why, Babe, because that is our baby, and I'm not going to give it up…My granny always told me that I had been an accident," Deidara flinched slightly, "and apparently my mother had not wanted me at first, but my father had made her keep me. I'm just trying to be a good father to my child."

Sasori never really spoke of his parents, mostly considering that they had both died when he was only five years old, so he didn't really have anything to say, and usually Deidara didn't care, though this time he felt a stab of guilt. The red head had not hated the blonde for getting pregnant; he hadn't hurt him, he hadn't screamed at him, and he hadn't kicked the blonde out of their home. Sasori had taken responsibility from the very start.

"Now come on, your mother and father are waiting for us, because they're trying to be the most supportive parents that they can be." Deidara gave a slow nod, but was interrupted by the sound of a woman's voice.

"Is this the nursery?" Both males looked up at the younger male's parents as they entered the room and looked around.

Deidara glared at them but Sasori just gave him a look and he backed off. "Yes, un..." He said slowly.

Hanako just ran her fingers along the crib and sighed. "Where did you get all of this?" She asked, confused. "We could have bought you some things, you know?" Akio walked up behind her, trying his best to smile. Sasori stood up and then helped his blonde lover to his feet.

"We had a friend who let us have the crib and the changing table. She gave us some clothes too but those are for girls-"

"Do you know the gender yet?" Hanako asked confused.

Sasori shook his head. "We don't want to spend a lot of money on hospital bills." Deidara still didn't say anything; he just stepped closer to the redhead, staring at his parents.

"Well we could've covered those," Akio stepped in and Deidara clutched at his lover's sleeve.

"We don't need your money, un!" He almost growled, his glare coming back to life. "Everything is fine so why're you here?"

Hanako shook a little at her son's comments and forced on a smile. "We wanted to know how you two were doing and if you needed anything? We would love to h-help," She said, her composure falling some.

"Well we're doing fine right now, but by the time the baby comes we may need a little help," Sasori lied. He didn't want to see Deidara's mother cry again just because her son was holding a grudge... A very big grudge, which was why they were in this mess.

"Really?" She asked, giving a genuine smile. Sasori nodded and Deidara lessened his glare. "Oh well... Thank you!"

Deidara sighed. "Is there something else you need, un?"

Akio blinked. "We can't spend time with our own son?"

"No, you can," Sasori butted in before the blonde could say anything. "Do you want anything to drink?"

The older couple shook their head. Instead they all headed to the living room to chat. Sasori talked about his "new" job and the plan for Deidara with school and then being a stay at home mum. Akio tried to convince them that they could move somewhere nicer, and closer, so they didn't have to live in the North. He even said that they would pay but Deidara denied the offer. Sure he would let his parents buy a few things for the baby but if he and Sasori were moving it would be on their own.

"So..." Hanako stared at her son. "Has the baby started kicking yet?"

Deidara narrowed his eyes. "Yes and it's annoying as hell," He commented before crossing his arms.

Akio just coughed and looked at Sasori. "So what is it that you do again?"

The redhead shrugged. "Just whatever my boss tells me. Enter things into a computer and sometimes manage people's accounts and stuff... Almost like an accountant but not." Akio raised an eyebrow and checked the watch on his wrist.

"I think it's time to go home, sweetie," He said, motioning for his wife to stand up.

"Already?" Hanako stood up and glanced at her son and his lover. "But we just got here."

"Around two hours ago. I think it'd be good to let them do their own thing; I'm sure they're very busy."

Deidara rolled his eyes. "Yes, we are. Bye!" He stood up and waved at his parents before going to his and Sasori's bedroom to mope. After he heard his parents leave, Sasori came into the room, leaning on the doorframe.

"You could've been nicer, Babe." Deidara just buried his face in his pillow.

"No, they're bastards who came over too early."

Sasori sighed. "You would have been mad either way if they came over." Deidara just continued to mope, and the red head walked over to the bed, sitting on the mattress next to him, "They're your parents, Babe, you can't just kick them out of your life…"

"I said that they could come over in three months, not two, un…Besides, my dad hates us! Couldn't you tell? He hates me for being pregnant, and he hates you for getting me pregnant!" Sasori gently stroked the blonde's hair to try and soothe him, "And my mum is just plain awkward, un…"

"Your father doesn't hate you, he's just worried about your future; both of your parents are. They're just trying to be as supportive as possible." Sasori gave him a soft smile and moved to lie down on the bed, pulling the blonde against him as he continued to stroke the younger male's hair.

"Well, my dad at least hates you for the whole raping me thing." Sasori chuckled and agreed, giving the blonde a kiss on his forehead. Deidara pouted and gave a sigh, "Why am I the only one who has to deal with all this parental shit, un?"

"Well, mine are dead, and I have a feeling that if we went to see my grandparents Ebizo and Chiyo, they would start chasing after us with pitchforks~ They're really traditional; Chiyo moved out and left me to support myself after I told her that I was gay. So I think that it's best that we don't tell them~" Deidara gave a groan and nuzzled his face deeper into the red head's neck, rolling his eyes.

"You and your excuses un…" Sasori smiled gently and pulled the blankets over them, despite the fact that it was the middle of the day. Whenever the blonde's parents came around, both of them became so emotionally exhausted.

"I know~" The red head kissed the blonde's forehead again and held him close, "Love you too, Babe~"

-x-

Deidara gave a loud groan as he looked down at his enormous stomach, "Fuck, I better not be having twins, un!" The blonde was now thirty weeks into pregnancy, but he was happy that no one was making fun of him at school. Everyone kept quiet about the blonde after a fourth person had been beaten up by Sasori for making fun of Deidara and his 'fat' problem. At least the thought that he was pregnant had managed to not cross anyone's mind, and they all just thought that he had let himself go.

The blonde gave a sigh as he made it into art class, eye twitching once he heard the gargling sound of Kurenai's baby. He shot the creature a good glare before sitting down at his usual spot, waiting for the other students to arrive.

As he did so he watched the baby from the other side of the room. He played with various toys, mostly using them to hit his other toys in a crude manner and he saw none of it as cute. That little thing will be just like his mother and will probably throw sculpting knives when he's older. Slowly students started to pile into the class room, Konan and Kisame sitting by him.

"Okay, class." Kurenai got up, her baby looking at her questioningly. "We can't paint again today because I forgot some so we'll be work with play-doe." She walked by the desks and began handing out the small tubs of colourful and "yummy" doe to each teen. "Now it has to be school appropriate and... yep! I will grade you on your behaviour, not your artistic skill," She reassured as she finished handing out the tubs. She walked over and picked up her son, who just giggled.

The class awed but Deidara felt sick to his stomach. It was just a baby, something that was annoying and ruined people's lives! Why would they be all happy? "Isn't that cute, Dei?" Konan nudged the blonde. "And soon you'll be just like that!" She cheered but people just ignored her and began to work. Deidara didn't say anything; just took his tub of purple play-doe and made what seemed to be a sphere.

"There I'm done," He said before laying his head down.

Kisame eyed his artwork and snickered. "Not your best, Blondie."

"Well you can shut up, Sharky, un."

Kisame just shrugged, already used to the blonde's insults. A few minutes later Kurenai came over frowning. "Why aren't you working, Deidara?"

The blonde sat up and gestured to his ball. "I'm done, un." He put his elbows on his shared table and let his chin rest in his palms.

"Yes, well you can make some more things," His art teacher said. "For example, try making a carrot or broccoli, you know... Healthy food," She encouraged.

Konan blanched and Kisame tried to stop his laughter. Deidara narrowed his eyes and stood up, being just a few centimetres shorter than her. "And what're you implying?" He asked, his voice sounding like he was holding back a scream.

Kurenai cleared her throat and stood taller, catching many of the other teen's attentions. "It's very obvious that you have gained some weight, Deidara and as your teacher I advise you to eat healthier."

The blonde absolutely snapped, "WHY DOES EVERYONE ALWAYS THINK IT IS MY FUCKING FAULT? IT'S SASORI'S FAULT, UN! GO YELL AT HIM FOR FUCKING GETTING ME PREGNANT!" Deidara suddenly fell silent as he realised what he had just said. His face flushed and everyone just stared at him, gaping widely in utter shock.

"…Deidara…" The blonde blinked up at Kurenai, who was also looking at him with astonishment, "…Let's go talk in my office…" He gave a very slow nod, still flushing from embarrassment, and Kurenai looked over at the bluenette, "Konan, you can look after the class while I take care of this…" The teacher didn't even wait for the bluenette's response before turning and leaving, Deidara quickly following behind her. As soon as he stepped out of the class, he immediately heard the students talking far too loudly about him, and the blonde knew that Sasori wouldn't beat the students up considering what Deidara had done. They soon came to Kurenai's office, where the woman sat down in her chair, son being placed within her lap. Deidara took a seat across from her, still wishing that he could just die, "…So…How far are you along?"

The blonde was silent for a few moments, "Thirty weeks, but we didn't find out till I was like, eighteen weeks pregnant, un…" Kurenai made a gesture, and Deidara continued, "…Shizune said that an abortion was impossible…And Sasori won't let me give it up for adoption, un…He quit his old job and got a better paying one so that he would be able to support the three of us…My parents already know…Konan, Kisame, Hidan and Tobi have known for a while…"

Kurenai gave a slow nod, bouncing her baby a few times in her arms, "Well…I guess that sort of explains a few things…But…Is there any way to prove that you are pregnant?" Deidara gave her a bored look, standing up and moving next to her as he lifted up his shirt to reveal his belly. Kurenai blinked before placing a hand on it, jumping once she felt the blonde's baby kick against her palm, "Holy shit you really are pregnant!"

Deidara rolled his eyes and pulled his shirt down before returning to his seat, "Told you so, un…Sasori agreed that I could stop going to school when I'm thirty two weeks along, and then come back after the baby is a week old for graduation. He wants me to be a stay-at-home mother…"

"But neither of you know anything about raising a child!" Kurenai bit her lip in thought, before an idea struck, "I know! After school I can run a maternity class for you!"

"FUCK NO!" Deidara sneered at the woman, and her baby giggled at his outburst, "I don't want to learn how to look after this parasite! I hate it already, un!"

Kurenai gave him a dark look, "Either you take this maternity class after school every day until I feel you're ready to look after this little miracle or else I will make sure that you never graduate. If you never graduate you will never get a good job and you'll be stuck being a stay-at-home mummy for the rest of your life!"

Deidara returned the look and crossed his arms. "Only if Sasori goes to the class with me, un."

Kurenai nodded. "That would be best." She stood up, her son in hand and went to the door. "And it'll just be the two of you."

The blonde just grimaced at the awkwardness he and Sasori would have to experience while they were with his art teacher; learning how to take care of a baby he didn't even want. Kurenai opened the door and Deidara walked back to his seat, the students shutting up when their teacher gave them a stern look. Nobody even dared to look at the blonde and he liked it that way.

The rest of the class was spent in silence and Deidara wished that he hadn't screamed to the world that he was pregnant. The only sounds really were kids texting to each other; probably about the new juicy gossip. After class was done Deidara was about to leave only to be stopped by Kurenai. "Sasori isn't home yet and I have to tell him about the class," Deidara said quickly before leaving. He really didn't want to be near the woman anymore.

Once Deidara got home he made himself a snack of sliced cheese wrapped in some sliced meat and he began to watch TV. There was a show on about finding Bigfoot and he changed it, getting fed up with the cheesiness. The next show was about some wizards and he changed it again. He had soon gone through all the channels and ran out of snacks. Groaning, he looked at the time and realized Sasori should've been home by now. Getting up and going to his book bag, he grabbed his homework and began working. Wait... If he didn't work he couldn't graduate right away so he didn't have to deal with the baby anymore! He smirked to himself, glad he found another way to get away from the parasite.

A few minutes later Sasori came in through the door, looking like he had had an exhausting day. "What took you so long, un?" Deidara asked as he walked up to his lover. He wrapped his arms around the redhead's neck, while Sasori in return wrapped his arms around the blonde's waist.

"They made me work overtime but overtime has more work so now I'm tired," He said with a small smile. "And how was your day?"

Deidara frowned and mumbled something, before looking away.

"What?"

"I yelled in class that I was pregnant, un."

Sasori shrugged. "I figured it would happen sooner or later." Deidara frowned. "Who did you flip out on?"

"Kurenai... Oh and she said that she won't let me graduate unless I take her maternity class after school. She said you should come as well, un." Deidara watched his lover's expression and he looked as if he would have died from happiness. Not what he wanted but oh well.

"That's great! Now you won't have an excuse for mistreating our baby!" Deidara was about to protest but Sasori kissed the blonde and it seemed the younger males problems melted away. He pressed back eagerly, moaning as the red head began to molest his mouth, though he soon pulled away, "When do they begin?"

"Tomorrow, un." Sasori gave a nod and a yawn before giving the blonde a short peck, moving to the kitchen so as to cook the both of them dinner.

-x-

School had been surprisingly uneventful; he had been expecting for everyone to tease him, call him a whore, stuff like that. Astonishingly, all he got were a few odd looks, though it wasn't difficult to realise why. It was common knowledge that Deidara was Sasori's lover, so everyone knew that the child growing within the blonde had to belong to the red head. Therefore they realised just how protective the feared older male would be in the case that anyone laid a finger on his blonde or even made fun of him. Well, at least no one thought of him as fat anymore…Though now there were rumours spreading, such as that he was actually a girl, that he was hermaphrodite, and that he was an alien from outer space.

Deidara was in art when the bell for the end of school rang. The other students began to pack up, but immediately stilled and gave sharp gasps for some reason. Curiosity got the better of Deidara, and he turned, faintly surprised to see Sasori entering the classroom. All of the students stared at the twenty year old, wondering if anyone was going to get bashed up, but it didn't seem to be the case.

Sasori ignored the people and went straight to Deidara, sitting down next to him, "Hey Babe~ I'm here for the Maternity Class. I told my boss about it, and he says that it is an acceptable reason to leave work early for a while as long as it doesn't affect my work load." Sasori gave the blonde a peck on the lips, before sending a sharp look at the other students (outside of the blonde's friend group, of course). They quickly left, leaving just Deidara, Sasori, Konan, Kisame, Hidan, Kurenai and her baby within the room. "Has anyone been bothering you, Babe?"

"Not really, un, just a few stupid rumours going around is all." Deidara gave a shrug and grimaced slightly as he recalled some of said rumours. "You don't have to beat them up; I'll be out of school in like two weeks."

Sasori nodded, giving him another quick kiss before saying goodbye to Konan, Hidan and Kisame as they left, leaving just the two lovers, Kurenai and her baby. "It's so good to see you again, Sasori! It's been too long!"

Deidara screwed up his face as they began talking as if they hadn't seen each other for years, before he gave a groan, "I'm not getting any less pregnant over here, un!"

"…Oh yeah…" The woman blinked at them before giving a sigh, "Come on, then, the Maternity Classes will be in the school daycare centre." They both nodded and began following their teacher with Sasori carrying her baby for her.

"Awww, he's getting so big~" It seemed that Deidara was the only one immune to the baby's charms as Sasori began to make soft cooing noises. At least the redhead would make a good father…Deidara flushed at the idea, shaking his head to clear it of the thought.

As soon as they reached the daycare centre they were swarmed by little kids all different ages ranging from around two to five. The rest of the children were still babies and could not walk yet. "Why're there so many kids," Deidara sneered as he tried to shake one off of his leg.

"Who's the pretty lady, Kurenai Sensei?" The oldest girl asked, smiling up at Deidara sweetly.

The art teacher cleared her throat. "This is Deidara, Mi; and he is a boy."

The girl blinked up at the blonde who was glaring daggers at her. "Oh... you're a pretty boy!" At that more kids gathered around Deidara and Sasori chuckled, still holding Kurenai's baby.

"They like you, Babe~"

"Why are there so many kids here?" He asked again and Kurenai sighed before shooing the children off.

"Most of them are the teacher's children but there a few who are students." Kurenai took her baby back and they walked to a more secluded area of the daycare.

"Then why don't you leave your baby here?" Deidara asked as his lover followed beside him.

"I just like having my son with me most of the time," Kurenai answered. "Now," She turned to the couple, "let's get started.

-x-

Deidara groaned as he tried to wash all the baby powder from his face. "Taking care of a baby can't be that hard!"

Kurenai frowned. "Yes, it is; that's why I'm teaching you guys. Sasori has been doing a splendid job but you have to put a little more effort into it, Deidara," She scolded and the blonde just glared before he forcibly put a diaper on a fake baby.

"Happy, un?" Sasori smacked the blonde on the head and sighed.

"Stop being a brat, Deidara. We're lucky Kurenai Sensei is doing this for free."

As soon as the lesson was over, about an hour after it had started, they had headed home; most of the children in the daycare had also gone.

Once they arrived at their apartment, Deidara immediately collapsed on the couch, though rolled onto his side once he realised how uncomfortable it was with the baby bump in the way. "Fuuuuuck, that's exhausting, un! And she's forcing us to go every day after school until Hidan's God knows when…"

"She's just trying to help out; Kurenai is the expert after all." Sasori went to the kitchen, deciding to settle for two-minute noodles for dinner as opposed to actually cooking. He was just as exhausted as the blonde was since to make up for the hour lost during the Maternity Class, he had had to work extra hard to reach his daily quota with one less hour. He pulled two packets out of the cupboard and put the kettle on to boil, taking a seat next to the blonde while he waited, "We both have to learn to be good parents."

Sasori tenderly rubbed Deidara's back, and the blonde gave a sigh, "You apparently don't, you did a 'splendid' job, un. Stop being such a good father…"

The red head chuckled lightly and gave his lover a peck on the cheek, "Can't help it, Babe~ I have this thing called paternal instinct~" Deidara gave a low groan and the red head stood once he heard that the kettle had stopped boiling, "And I'm hoping for the day when you develop a maternal instinct~"

Deidara snorted and sat up on the couch, stretching his sore limbs for a few moments before moving to the kitchen table, "Keep dreaming, un." A minute later, Sasori brought the both of them their dinner, taking a seat at the table as well. Deidara didn't complain about the meal, he loved two minute noodles too much and he wasn't in the mood for anything fancy. They ate in silence, having worked up an impressive appetite after changing diapers for an entire hour.

They soon finished and moved over to the couch, snuggling up together while they watched TV. There was some random show on about a man who claimed to have been abducted by aliens. Deidara fell asleep right away, while Sasori stayed awake just so he could stroke the younger male's hair and watch his sleeping face with a smile. "Awww, he looks so cute when he isn't complaining~" Sasori kissed his forehead and used the remote to turn the TV off, wrapping his arms around the blonde and holding him tighter. Soon the red head fell asleep as well so that he would be ready for another exhausting day.

-x-

"No, Deidara that is not how you wash a baby," Kurenai scolded as she saw the blonde dump a bucket of cold water on a fake baby. It was already the end of the first week and Deidara still had no clue what to do. "Maybe it'd be better for Deidara to get a job and you to stay home, Sasori."

The redhead chuckled and shook his head. "I don't care if Deidara has no idea what he's doing at the moment, but he'll learn. Right, Babe~?"

"Shut the fuck up, un!" Deidara was now trying to get some clothes on the still soaking baby doll; while in the process of doing that, ripping off one of its arms.

Kurenai winced. "How about this? The school actually has a class with fake babies and you take care of them for two days. Why don't you work with one of those this weekend?"

"Like hell! That thing would be out the window in no time, un!" The blonde finally gave up and put the plastic doll down before crossing his arm childishly.

"I think it would be nice," Sasori suggested.

Kurenai smiled and she motioned them to follow her, leaving her son at the daycare centre to be watched. They went to a nearby classroom and she unlocked the door. The trio stepped in and Kurenai introduced the couple to the mechanical baby. "You'll have to wear bracelets that have a magnetic clip that will calm the baby down when crying. The bottle is also magnetic and you'll get a carrier in case you two are going somewhere," She explained while holding up a fake baby. "Here you are!" The art teacher handed them the baby in the carrier and she ushered them home.

-x-

"I think it's creepy," Deidara muttered as he sat in the living room with his fake baby still in the carrier and on the floor.

"Kurenai also said you have to change the diaper," Sasori said from the kitchen as he was reading some manuals about the baby since Kurenai gave them some in case they had more questions.

Deidara just flopped down on the couch. "You do that first-" He cringed when he heard a cry and looked to see the 'baby' not moving but the noise was obviously coming from it. "Shit," He muttered before standing up and picking the thing up, making sure to support the head. The thing was that the 'baby' was a computer and had a database in it. If you shook it for fun you would fail the class and have to go to counselling. Deidara tried his magnet bracelet but that didn't work, and neither did the bottle.

"Danna this thing is fucking broken, un!"

A few seconds later, Sasori came out of the kitchen and Deidara handed him the baby. "The hell?" An hour later the thing still wailed, its mechanical voice making Deidara want to cut off his ears.

"Make it stop!" He groaned and Sasori was still messing with the manuals.

"I'm trying! The English version makes no fucking sense and the rest is in Hungarian! Look; 'to put bottle baby then baby'. What the fuck does that mean?" Deidara never really saw his lover get angry or frustrated but this thing was as annoying as fuck.

"THE BABY IS PROBABLY FUCKING HOMOPHOBIC! IT KNOWS THAT WE'RE BOTH GUYS, UN! WE NEED A GIRL TO HOLD IT, AND THEN IT'LL SHUT UP, UN! OR SOMEONE WHO SPEAKS HUNGARIAN!" Deidara began to randomly spin in a circle before giving a groan as he got dizzy.

"It's a mechanical baby; it isn't homophobic!" Sasori flung the instructions away and was actually about to shake the stupid thing to try and make it shut up, though Deidara swiped it from his arms before he got the chance.

"DON'T FUCKING SHAKE THE BABY, UN!" The blonde began to slowly rock the thing in his arms, making shushing noises as if it really were alive. He picked the bottle up again and tried pressing it into the electronic baby's mouth as he continued to make soothing noises and rock the thing. By some sort of miracle, the baby actually quietened down and within moments had stopped crying altogether. Sasori stared at the blonde in disbelief, and Deidara blinked at him, "What?"

"I don't believe this…" Sasori gave a smirk and moved over to the blonde, giving him a kiss on the lips, "You actually do have a maternal instinct~!" The red head quickly took the baby from the younger male's arms before he reacted to the comment, placing it back in the carrier, not wanting Deidara to throw the baby out the window.

The blonde flushed darkly and crossed his arms, "I'm not fucking maternal, I was just getting a headache, un…" Sasori still couldn't stop smirking, pulling Deidara into a kiss to which he immediately responded to by pressing back. The red head slid his tongue into the blonde's mouth, kissing him deeply and wrapping his arms around his waist. They immediately pulled apart once the stupid mechanical baby started crying again, "BURN THE FUCKING THING!"

"It's alright; it probably just needs its diaper changed is all." Deidara gave a slight nod and the red head picked it up, handing it straight to the blonde, "This'll be a good opportunity for you to try changing diapers, Babe, since you still haven't mastered the art without pulling the poor child's limbs off."

Deidara scowled at him, "Hey! I don't wanna fucking change the thing's diaper, un! You do it!" The blonde tried to shove it back into the red head's arms but without success.

"Sorry Babe," Sasori gave him a peck on the cheek, "I'm not the one who needs to nurture their parental instincts~"

Deidara scowled and set the baby on the ground and got the diapers that Kurenai had given them out. He took off the baby's pants and then the diaper, seeing the coloured water there. Why was it purple? Growling, he tried to be as 'gentle' as possible but in the end he wanted to overdose on baby powder. Maternal instincts my ass! Again he tried and after a minute he finally got the diaper on. "When does this fucker go to sleep, un?" Deidara asked as he set the doll back in the carrier.

Sasori scanned the options. "It says when the lights are off and you use the bottle at the same time."

Deidara sighed. "Just throw the thing in the closet then."

"No, it'll sleep in the nursery so when we do have our baby we'll be ready to go to the nursery when it wakes up." Sasori looked at the clock in the kitchen. It was nine o'clock which he thought was a reasonable time to have the baby put to sleep. "Here, let's go to the nursery." Deidara nodded and picked up the carrier, following his lover. "It says for the baby to sleep that you have to keep it in the carrier... I think." Sasori showed the instructions to the blonde.

"To sleep baby off the lights and baby bottle," Deidara read aloud and he just shook his head. "I already have a headache, I don't need any more of this, un," He complained.

Sasori rolled his eyes. "Okay, now let's put this thing to sleep." The duo sat it in the nursery with the lights off and the machine in the carrier. Sasori held the bottle to the dolls lips and they heard, "Powering down" in a mechanical voice.

Deidara shivered. "That thing is fucking creepy, un." He stood up with Sasori and then left the room, also closing the door.

Once they returned to their bedroom and had gotten into bed to sleep they kissed goodnight, though Deidara still couldn't fall asleep. He looked up at Sasori who was holding him, even though his stomach separated them slightly. "Danna~" He whined, before rubbing their crotches together.

Sasori opened his eyes slowly and smirked down at his lover. "Yes, Babe~?"

The blonde blushed and bit his lip. "I can't sleep, un," He pouted.

"And what do you want me to do about it?" The older male began to nip at the blonde's ear and Deidara whined slightly.

"Tire me out~" In an instant Sasori had rolled on top of Deidara and smashed his lips to the blonde's. Deidara moaned and had his hands roam Sasori's semi-scarred, but toned, chest. Sasori pulled away and began nipping at the blonde's neck, causing a moan to be forced out of him. Deidara felt Sasori's hands go down to his boxers and stroke his manhood till it was hard. "Danna-!" Deidara was interrupted by a mechanical cry. "Fuck~" He whined.

Sasori groaned and got off of the blonde. So much for a night full of sex