Haruhi's Birthday

Chapter 13

"So we are actually supposed to do a concert and we are really going to do the knight thing?" Kyon asked.

"Yeah, after Haruhi makes her grand entrance." Itsuki replied. "Have you seen Yuki?"

"I think she was getting Haruhi ready for her entrance."

The two were supposed to be doormen. Their three duties were:

Not to allow anyone in unless they had a present.

Watch out for any enemies, such as espers.

Keep out pedophiles.

"How do we know who's a pedophile?" Kyon had asked Haruhi.

"You can just tell," she replied.

"What, will they be wearing a t-shirt saying 'Hey, I'm a pedophile'?" Kyon had argued. In the end he and Itsuki had to stand outside, and wait for guests. Kyon was still worried about Mikuru. They had told Yuki what had happened (well Haruhi told her what she thought and Kyon told her the truth), and she was coming up with a solution.

"Don't worry Kyon, Mikuru's a strong girl," Itsuki said. "Unless, you know the vortex killed her. In fact, the time space continuum may have crushed her or she could have been sent to a dimension with no life sustaining capabilities and for all we know, she may as well be completely erased from our universe."

"Shutup," Kyon said. The boys ushered people in and told them wear to set the gifts and such. This one guy who looked like a hobo showed up, and he was quickly escorted away.

Meanwhile, Haruhi and Yuki prepared for Haruhi's grand entrance. The DJ had started up the music and everyone was hanging around waiting for the party to start. Suddenly, Kyon's friend Taniguchi tapped him on the shoulder. "Hey, uh, Haruhi told me to tell you that you're supposed to be announcing her entrance."

Instead of arguing, Kyon decided to go ahead and do it to save time. As he approached the stage, he thought of something to say, "Good afternoon every one. Are we ready to get this party started? I know I'm ready to get it over with, so without further to due, here's Haruhi." He motioned half-heartedly toward Haruhi. Keri Hilson's "Pretty Girl Rock" began to play as Haruhi was carried in on a chair by Taniguchi, Kunikida and Tsuruya and Itsuki. She was wearing some sort of gothic, vampire princess outfit. Everyone applauded. She snatched the microphone from Kyon and gave him the evil eye. Haruhi got off of the chair and began to talk, "Hello party people! As you know, or should know, I am the birthday girl. I invited all of you freaks to this party because I wanted to have fun and get some presents. So since you all have brought your present offerings, we can party hard. We have some cool stuff going on today, including some Epic Limbo and a piñata, and even a concert, so be prepared. This is going to be the party of the CENTURY!" Everyone applauded and shouted. "Well, at least until another party that's better comes along. So DJ, let's get this party started!"

Music began playing and everyone starting dancing and mingling. Haruhi and the others got off of the stage and Haruhi asked, "When's the food and cake coming?" Kyon glared at Itsuki.

"It's not here?" Itsuki asked. Haruhi shook her head. "Oh, Kyon…" Itsuki said.

"What? It's not my fault! Don't try to blame this on me!" Kyon said.

"Okay, go check on the food Itsuki," Haruhi said. "I'll put Yuki in charge of the enemy, and Kyon's gonna start the epic limbo game."

"So I'm the MC now?" Kyon asked.

"Duh, that's what we agreed upon," Haruhi said as she twirled her finger around her ear, the universal crazy sign.

"Don't do that, I am not crazy," Kyon said. "If anyone is, it's you…" He added under his breath. He snatched the mic and hopped on stage again. "Aye, AYE!" He said, trying to get the attention of the crowd. Once that was accomplished, "Uh, we are going to start a game of what Haruhi calls epic limbo. It's basically limbo, but if you fail, well, you get splashed with water and other such things. "

"LIKE WHAT?" a random voice called.

"Who said that?" Kyon asked. "You get hit with water balloons filled with water and I think we got some sand… and one with maybe some juice…"

"WILL IT STAIN OUR CLOTHES?" the random voice called.

"Well, its apple juice so no… I mean don't try it if you care about your clothes."

"OKAY WELL WHAT ABOUT—"

"Dude shutup!" Kyon said.

"WILL EVERYONE GET TO TRY?" said a different voice.

"YEAH AND IS THERE A PRIZE?" piped in yet another. Kyon felt a little overwhelmed. He saw Haruhi get back on the stage and snatch the mic from him.

"Incompetent… " She muttered. "Look, don't do it if you don't wanna. The prize is a gift bag provided by the SOS Brigade and yes, it will stain your clothes. It is a really fun game and if you don't want to try, your loss. Now everyone whose gonna play, get in line next to the limbo stand. Everyone passes through it like a soul train line. If you bump into it, it knocks over a sort of bucket; at least I think that's a bucket. Maybe a sort of can-like object, I am not sure. And water balloons or whatever spill on you and its pretty freaking embarrassing, but lots of fun. Lots." She handed the mic back to Kyon. "Kyon sometimes you are so annoying…"she whispered. Haruhi strolled over to the Epic Limbo area. She motioned for others to join her as she ducked under the pole. Quick followers repeated what she did and eventually people got into the rhythm, passing underneath the limbo pole. Soon enough, Haruhi told Kyon and Taniguchi to lower the pole, and they kept lowering it after a minute or so. Soon it was to low and most people were backing off for the safety of their clothes.

"The first few balloons are just water," Haruhi commented. "Next is sand, right?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever," replied Kyon, who was thinking about Mikuru.

The finalists were very careful as they limboed, but one unfortunate (who had taken off his nice shirt and handed it to his girlfriend) messed up and got pounded with at least 3 gallons of water balloons. He laughed and was handed towel.

"What's your name sir?" Haruhi asked.

Kenichi Fujioka," he replied.

"Great job. Go stand in that circle over there." She pointed to a giant circle with three x's in it.

"That's new," Kyon said to himself. "She must've just created it."

The next two rounds went on the same way, with Haruhi pulling out the losers. They were told to stand in the circle next to Kenichi.

"Okay," Haruhi said into the mic. "These are our 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place winners!"

"What?" a group of people said.

"I never said that you have to avoid the falling stuff to win," she answered. "Besides, these fools got soaked or sanded. Give me the gift bags Kyon."

He looked around. "What gift ba—" he began. But Yuki ran up to him and gave him some gift bags. "Where did these come from?" He whispered to her.

"Data," she replied.

"Oh," he said. "Here," he said to Haruhi as he handed them over.

The losers laughed and held up their gift bags. Haruhi laughed too.

She's enjoying herself. Kyon thought.