I'm going to be a horrible parent.

Why?

I never had a positive parental role model to look up to, save my mother.

Itachi was only a brother, what could he do? He pushed me away and made me the avenger I was.

Father never approved or praised me on many things. It was all Itachi this, Itachi that. Never Sasuke this, or Sasuke that. And I was saddened.

Saddened to almost wanting them gone. I would have soon or later. If Itachi hadn't have killed them all.

Itachi this, Itachi that.

But Itachi is gone now. He'll forever be gone.

Though I bet Naruto's not better off as a parent as I am. That's why he might have wanted them gone, he wasn't ready.

I was ready. I am ready.

I doubt.

OXOX

Four weeks.

Four weeks he was locked up in that white prison for mental nuts.

The people in there were crazy. Crazier than Sasuke was when he left for that pasty white snake.

He was scared of them. And that's what convinced the medic-nins that he wasn't as emotionally or psychologically traumatized as the others. In other words, he was safe, to be around and to interact with 'normal' people.

Though they kept him there longer for extra observation on orders from the Hokage.

He was back to his normal routine. Or as normal as it had begun to be after Sasuke had left.

Thought this time, he was being dragged out more, getting more and more tired from day to day.

A week passed, or was it a month?

Naruto had discovered a lovely escape from most of the daily tortures. A bubbly beverage that was only served to adults. It was addictive, it was alive. It danced in his veins, burned his skin, and made his mouth tingle.

Less he went to the brothel where he was once missed, and more he was spending nights getting lost with his new lover.

She made him lose his mind, his body, his very sense of awareness. Everything became black.

And he was addicted to alcohol.

OXOX

I. Am. Huge.

I don't know if I want to go through with this anymore. I just want this to be over with, to have these things out of my body.

Being twenty-four weeks pregnant with twins is not a good way for a man to be spending his life.

I mean, for crying out loud! I could be tending my garden right now!

…

Not what you expected? Yea, me too.

Life would have been different if I had chosen other things than what I had.

What would I be doing right now if I had chosen to get that abortion? Would I still have been as happy as I was before? Would I be sad?

I probably would be.

But I would still be with Naruto.

Something unique happened today.

It had nothing to do with the babies or the pregnancy in whole.

I had accepted all flaws.

I had taken a bath. A bath that was to rejuvenate myself and I treated my body like a lover's.

Every stroke across my body was to clean and get rid of the old to make room for the new.

I took care of what I was doing, watching the soap suds travel down my skin. Lovingly, I made sure to wash my stomach, my back, my legs, as they had all gone dirty from miss care.

OXOX

Time swept by in his eyes. He never knew what day it was. Everything was a blur. Everyday, every time he woke, every time he slept.

It was all the same.

The only thing keeping time was the seasons. The changing of leaves, the chilling of day and night, the passage of others.

No gossip reached his ears, no news of anything he once thought of as important ever got to him.

And it didn't really matter.

The fact that Tsunade was getting weaker, weak as to able to pass into a coma at any minute, the fact that, soon, there would be a new Hokage, never got to him.

But it didn't matter.

He was just waiting until his time.

He was being the tool, the puppet for the military, the counsel always had in mind for his use.

And he didn't mind.

He didn't mind being used.

TBC…

Sorry for the late update… life has been getting busy, my social life has suddenly skyrocketed, I'm thinking of starting an original fiction based off some things me and friends have come up with so if this is late anymore, you can blame my brain.

School has fried it and I can't work on this story as much with school in the way, sorry. I do want to finish this project because I put so much thought into it and it's my baby. (lol)

Hopefully when winter break comes around, I'll have more time to work on this. But for now on, whenever I get a chapter finished, I will only upload it to the site, I will not update the story more than once a week due to the latest lags in updates.