Okay, Ill admit it, parts of this chapter almost made me cry. Hope you like it.
A day without you
Ron spent most of the night curled up on the floor where Draco had left him, crying his eyes out. His entire body ached. He felt as though Draco has ripped out a part of his heart, and took it with him when he left. Hed never felt so horrible in his life. Even Azkaban paled to this. He knew his actions would catch up with him, he knew he would eventually end up hurting Draco, but he never expected Dracos departure to hurt him so much.
Ron made his way back up to the bedroom when the sun came up, and it was only then that he read the letter. The only thing worse than the words, and the truth behind them, was the overall tone of the letter. The man clearly cared nothing for Dracos feelings, only that his own property had been defiled. This wasnt how Draco should have found out, he deserved more compassion than that. Ron glanced back down at he photo. Shame and disgust welled up inside him. How could he have done this to Draco, to their children. Family meant everything to Ron, why had it taken him so long to accept Draco as part of that family. His husband, his heart. Draco had filled a void left behind by Harry and Hermione. He could never replaced them, had never tried, but he became the best friend Ron needed, his partner, his strongest supporter. Ron felt fragile without him, as if he would come apart any moment.
Another part of the letter that had worried him was the mention that Hermione would be dealt with. He wanted to know what had happened to her, he wanted to owl her, but didnt dare. It would only make things worse for them both. Ron had to get out of the house he had to find Draco. He had to get his husband back.
Draco woke from an alcohol induced sleep, in a ratty room at the Leaky Cauldron. His dreams had been filled with the taunts of Voldemort and his Death Eaters, while Ron and the mudblood shagged each other in plain sight, for all to see. Every so often Ron would look up at Draco with a cold smirk before plunging his tongue down Grangers throat, or another orifice. Draco shook the memory of the dream from his mind. His head spun, his stomach churned, he was going to be sick. His first thought was of Ron, he wanted to reach out for his wife, he wanted Ron to make him feel better, as only Ron could. He wanted Rons gentle touch, and loving embrace, and soft kiss, to assure him that the nightmare was over and all was well. But that was the whole problem, wasnt it, Ron didnt love him, his kisses were lies, and the nightmare was only a shadow of the cold hard truth. Draco couldnt even blame Ron, really, it had been his own damned fault. All he had to do was marry the sod and take over his magic, no one told him to fall in love like a fool. Husbands and wives stepped out on each other all the time, thats just the way it was. Otherwise, all they were left with was each other. But for Draco, that was all he wanted. He couldnt never want anyone more than he wanted Ron. No one would ever be as beautiful, or as charming, or as attentive, as the man he came home to every night. No one would be patient enough to deal with Dracos many imperfections, or compassionate enough to share in his pain. Draco never had any choice in the matter, really, how could he not fall in love with Ron. Once youve seen perfection incarnate, how could you ever settle for anything less. But why would anyone as perfect as Ron, want someone as pathetic him.
Draco was a broken man, he knew, and Ron had been the only one hed let see it. He suffered bouts of depression and anxiety, his personal scars from serving Voldemort. He had suffered terrible nightmares in the early days of their marriage, and it had been Ron who helped him through them. Ron would stay up with him for hours, holding him, rocking him, assuring him he was safe. He had no reason to at all at the time, but he did, because that was what angels did, wasnt it. Draco also had an incredibly low self image. Years of his fathers demands and abuse had taken their toll on him. When Ron first came to live with him, Draco was every bit as arrogant as he had pretended to be in school. He constantly bought Ron lavish gifts, showering him with treasures beyond the Weasleys wildest dreams. But Ron had seen through it all. Ron looked him straight in the eye one day, and told him in no uncertain terms {You dont have to buy me, Malfoy. You cant.} Draco had scoffed {I know I dont have to buy you, I already own you, Weasley.} Ron only shook his head. Later, when they alone, he asked {What did he do to you? What did he do to make you think the only thing youre good for is money?} No one had ever been so blunt or so direct with Draco, and from that day on he dropped the pretences.
Ron was one of the few people who Draco aloud himself to truly be himself around. He opened up with Ron about the hardship of growing up with Lucius, about his childhood dream of being a musician, even about his jealousy at Ron for always being surrounded by family and friends. And Ron had never made him feel foolish, or weak for expressing his ambitions or his emotions. He had always been encouraging and supportive. He even admitted his own jealously toward Draco, whom hed once believed had a perfect life. Draco and Ron mirrored each others pain, and healed each other as best they could. And now that was all done. Ron had betrayed him, in the worst way a husband can be betrayed. And it was entirely his own fault. What made Draco believe he could convince Ron to love him. It didnt matter that hed given him children, or found his siblings, or tried to provide the normal happy life he new Ron wanted. He was still trying to buy him, and hadnt even realized it. At the thought Draco started to cry. {Ron.} He fumbled for his bottle of fire whiskey, it was empty.
Draco stood, his legs were shaky and the room swayed. He looked himself in the full length mirror. His reflection was every bit as pathetic as he felt. He removed his shirt, and cringed at the sight of the scars on his abdomen, a souvenir from Saint Potter. In truth, the scars had long faded into faint white lines in his already pale skin. They blemished the chiseled marble that was his torso. But to Draco, they were every bit as vivid as they had been the day hed received them. {How could Ron ever want someone so ugly?} Draco wondered. {With his perfect body, Ron could have any witch or wizard he wanted, any ten witches and wizards. He didnt have to settle for some marred freak.} Draco entered the rooms small bathroom, and washed up as best he could.
A half hour later, Draco on the streets of Diagon Alley, for no other reason that to restock on booze. It was far to bright and sunny for Dracos liking, it hurt his eyes. He made his way through the bustling crowd his eyes on the ground, when he heard someone call his name. {Draco? Draco!} He looked up, wondering who would have the gall to sound so chipper, when his world was crumbling around him. It was Pansy. She worked her way through the crowd, and greeted him with a hug. After stepping back, she scanned him from head to toe. {You look dreadful, I hardly recognized you.} Draco only grumbled, stepping around her. {I have to go, Pansy.} His former housemate pulled his arm, stopping him. {Draco, whats wrong? Talk to me.}
If Draco had to share the dirty details of Rons betrayal with someone so soon, he would have rather done it in a bar, over a stiff drink. Instead, Pansy sought to torture him further, by bringing him to a café, fully intent on sobering him up. A full pot of coffee sat on the table between them. Pansy sipped at her coffee once hed finished his story. Draco began sobbing again, wanting something other than the rancid concoction in his own cup. {I know you dont want to hear this, Drake.} Pansy started. Draco groaned to himself, already agreeing with her entirely. He really didnt want to hear it.. {But it really is your own fault.} Draco fixed Pansy with his death glare. {Oh, dont look at me like that. You know its true.} She said, setting her cup down on the table. {You give that man far too many liberties, to begin with. When I married, I saw to it, right from the start, that my wife knew his place.} Pansy had married the surviving Creevy brother. What was his name, Daniel? Damien? {Derrick cheats on you all the time.} Draco told her flatly, sipping his own coffee. It really was disgusting. {Denis.} Pansy corrected. {And I was never foolish enough to fall in love with the idiot. I dont really care how he entertains himself when Im not around. Though occasionally, I do like to watch.} Draco cringed. {Lovely.} He responded. {My point is,} Pansy continued. {he knows what I will and will not tolerate. I keep his lease short. He wouldnt dare embarrass me, or parade his infidelity, the way your Weasley has.} Draco felt a great swell of anger toward Pansy. Didnt she understand? Ron hadnt embarrassed him, he had mortally wounded him. {Weasley doesnt respect you Drake, he never has. You treat him as an equal, instead of what he is.} The anger grew stronger. {Hes my wife!} {Exactly.} Pansy answered, as calm as ever. {Hes your wife. Not your friend. Hes there to attend to your needs not pursue his own.} Pansy set her cup on the table and began straightening her robes. {Its one thing to keep him pampered and pretty. Its like having a thorough bred. You have to keep it well groomed. What you dont have to do, is lay the world at its feet, and become its whipping post.} {Ron isnt like that!} Draco shouted, slamming his fist to the table. The cups rattled and several patrons turned to look. Pansys eyes rose to meet his, but she was still as cold as she had been since sitting down. {Of course he is Drake. They all are. Husbands have been using their wives since Voldemort implemented his new laws, since well before that, if truth be told. And youre deluding yourself to think wives dont use their husbands, whenever the opportunity arises. Youve given yours far too many.}
Draco rose from the table, not wanting to hear anymore from Pansy. {Thank you for the coffee.} He said, removing his outer robe from the back of his chair, and pulling it over his shoulders. {Of course.} She picked up her cup again, before saying {Hes still yours, you know? What are you going to do with him?} Draco shook his head. {I dont know. I just dont know.} He left Pansy, walking back into the harsh sun.
Ginny had been drinking tea and enjoying her book, on a rare sunny day in her garden, when a house elf announced the arrival of her brother. {Master Ronald is wishing to be seeing you, Mistress.} Ginny sighed, marking her place in the book. Moments later Ron walked out from the house, looking a wreck. His hair was disheveled, his eyes were red and swollen, and the side of his face was badly bruised. She rose, alarmed by sight of him. {Ron, what happened?} Ron paced around for a bit, running his hand through his already messy looking hair. {Im sorry, Gin. I-I just didnt know where else to go. Ive really done it this time.}
Ginny was growing more worried by the minute. {Well sit down, tell me what happened.} Ron pulled up a chair at the small table where Ginnys book rested. His sister sat across from him. Ginny watched Ron, waiting for an answer. He was looking everywhere, but at her. He was tapping his foot nervously, and had tears forming in his eyes. He finally broke down crying. {God, Gin, Ive fucked up.} Ron buried his face in his hands, and Ginny reached out to touch his arm. {Just start from the beginning.}
Ron took a deep breath and sniffed, rubbing his eyes. He looked down at the table as he began his story. {Remember I told you a while ago I ran into Hermione, in Diagon Alley?} Ginny nodded. {Well, a little while ago, she wrote me again, saying she was in Scotland. I went to see her, and we went to Harrys grave.} Ginny inhaled audibly. She had only been to Harrys, rather horrific, grave sight a few times herself. It never got any easier. She had come to accept that Ron would likely never make the trip himself, and part of her envied him for that decision. Ron continued. {A-and when we got back, we were both pretty upset, see. I told Hermione how much I wanted things to be different. What I wanted to do when we won the war, ya know?} Rons voice faded, and his lips curled into a nervous smile. Ginny took a deep breath, looking her brother straight in the eye. {Ron, tell me. What happened?} Her voice was even, and almost as stern as her mothers had once been. Ron worked his mouth for a few moments, with no sound coming out. {-I-Is-slept with her.} He hung his head, as soon as the words left his lips.
Ginny shut her eyes, and breathed deeply through her nose. She had never wanted to smack Ron as much as she had at that moment. She collected herself and looked at her stupid, stupid brother. {Does Draco know?} Ron nodded. {You told him?} She sounded hopeful, maybe it wouldnt quite so bad if hed come clean himself. {The house elves had been told to spy on her. There were pictures and} {Oh god Ron!} Ginny rose from the table. She began pacing back and forth before she turned to him. {So this is gonna end up in the Prophet, is it?} Ron shook his head and looked up at Ginny. {No. Hermiones husband got the pictures, he sent them to Draco, with a letter.} Ginny groaned and clasped her hands to her face. {Ron, Ron, how could you be so stupid! To trade 15 years of marriage for a quick shag!} Ginny sighed and shook her head. {Howd he take it?} Ron looked like he was going to start crying again. {He hit.} He looked up at Ginny with watery eyes. {First time in fifteen years. He punched me.} He ended with a humorless laugh. {Good.} Ginny told him. She threw herself back into her chair.
Ginny had a very selfish reason for wanting Draco and Rons marriage to last. The house she lived in was provided to her by Malfoy, as part of his marriage agreement. Her living expenses were paid for with Malfoy money. The same was true for her brother George. Without Draco, she, Ron and George would just be three former blood traitors with nothing, in a world run by Voldemort. But the truth was, nothing could be further from her mind at the moment. She and her brother-in-law might not have been the best of friends, they might not always see eye to eye, but she had been around him long enough to know the truth. Ginny saw the way Draco would look at Ron from across the room, or hug when ever he was within reach, she saw the glint in his eye that was reserved for Ron alone. Ginny new full well that Draco loved her brother, more than anything; and though Ron was too thick headed most of the time to admit it, she knew Ron loved him too. She could not fathom, what could have been going through Rons head when he cheated on Draco, but tallied it up to little Ron doing big Rons thinking. Though the way Draco hung all over her brother, she wouldve thought hed be enough to keep them both happy. {Well what are you going to do about this?} She asked him. {I dont know. I dont know where to look.} {Have you talked to his friends?} Ron grimaced. {No. If hes not there, I dont want them to know anythings wrong.} Soon Ron was crying again.
Ginny walked over to Ron, and draped her arms over him. {I never wanted to hurt him, Gin. Id never do that to him.} {I know.} Ginny rubbed Rons arm. He eventually settled himself and stood. {I need to get back home, in case he comes back.} Ginny nodded. {Okay. Do you know what youre gonna say to him?} Ron shrugged. {Beg. Grovel if I have to. I cant loose him.} Ginny offered Ron a weak smile. {Im so scared, Gin.} she hugged him tight. {Youll be fine. Draco loves you. You have got to do whatever it takes to make things right with him.} Ron nodded. {I will.} They held each other for a while longer, before Ron stepped back, and apparated away.
When Ron appeared in back in Malfoy Manor, he was surprised to see Draco standing there, taking a swig of scotch. {Draco.} The man in question only sneered at him. Finishing his drink, Draco slammed the empty glass to the counter, before storming out of the room. {Draco wait! Listen to me.} Draco didnt stop, or even look back. {Ive heard enough of your lies.} He marched upstairs with purpose. {Draco, Im not going to lie to you, I just want to talk!} Ron followed him upstairs. By the time Ron reached the landing, Draco was already halfway down the hall to their room.
Ron followed Draco into their bedroom. Draco was piling Rons clothes up on the bed. {Youre not going to make a mockery of me. Im sending you to Romania, where youll be visiting your brother. Thats the story well put out to explain your absence.} Ron was shaking his head in disbelief, fresh tears forming in his eyes. {Well handle the arrangements while youre away, work out the kids custody. Have everything settle before they leave school.} Ron ran to Draco snatching another pile of clothes from his arms. {Draco listen} {Did you think I would still have you? That I could even look at you again, after youve been with her?} Dracos words had started calmly enough, but became increasingly angry as he went on. Draco turned away from Ron and walked to the bed. He sat down, hunching over, his head in his hands. Ron walked calmly to him and sat down. {I loved you, Ron.} Draco said. His voice sounded small, almost childlike. {I still love you.} He snorted, shaking his head. {You rip my fucking heart out, and I still fucking love you. Why couldnt that ever be enough?} Ron sniffed, a tear rolling down his cheek. {Because Im a selfish git. I dont appreciate what I have until Im about to loose it.} Draco looked up at the man sitting next to him. {Whyd you do this to me Ron? Id have given you anything.} Ron turned to his husband. {I didnt want to do this to you, youre the last person Id ever want to hurt!} {Why?} {Because I love you!} Dracos expression hardened at that. He shot up from the bed and walked away from Ron. {I told you not to lie to me!} He started pacing, clenching his fists at his side. {Dont think you can manipulate me by telling me that!} {Im not lying, Draco! I love you!} Draco turned on him fiercely. {Then why say it now! Why wait fifteen fucking years, til youre about to end up out on your arse to tell me? Why should I even believe it?}
Ron cried, shaking his head. {I dont know. I dont know what I thought I wanted. I guess, I just felt I wasnt in control anymore.} Draco calmed himself somewhat listening to Ron. {I kept telling myself, I was just a prisoner here. Didnt matter how nice my cell was, or how kind the prison guard was to me, didnt change anything.} Ron looked down at his wedding band, rolling it around on his finger. {I didnt want to be caged. And I didnt want to admit that} Ron shrugged, tears rolling off his long nose. {that maybe I wanted to be here, with you. I wanted to make this my home with you. It felt like if I said that, it meant I had given up. That Id been broken. And I couldnt let that be taken away from me too.} Ron sniffed and rubbed his eyes. Draco shook his head, damn Weasleys and their pride. He walked over to Ron and knelt in front of him. {You were never a prisoner to me. You were my wife. I didnt marry you for the reasons you would have wanted, I admit that, but I wanted this to be your home too.} Ron nodded. {I know. I know. I am so sorry, Draco. I dont know what else I can say.} Ron slumped forward. It looked as if his whole body had been deflated. Draco watched him sob for a few moments. {I need I need to figure out what Im going to do.} Draco said, standing up.
{I think you should go.} Ron nodded. {Still wanna ship me off to Romania, then?} Draco seemed to struggle for the right words. {You can go where ever youd like, just tell me where youre going to be.} He looked at Ron as if it were the last time, then turned and left the room.