A/N: Hey all! Thank you to everyone who's read and gone as far as faving this story! It means a lot! Please enjoy this next instalment which includes Rukia!
Shiba Kaien entered his home followed by a very withdrawn Rukia. She stepped aside and waited patiently for him to act first. With a weary and frustrated sigh, he removed his sandals, his subordinate following his lead with monochrome efficiency. His frown deepened as he made his way towards the living room.
Today had not gone well.
Not at all.
Rukia had been exempted from the promotional selection for the 4th time and the hidden sadness she had kept within herself for so long was obvious to everyone. It tore at his insides and also made him want to smash Byakuya's head into the nearest wall.
That man had singlehandedly assured that Rukia would never attaint the status of a highly seated officer even if her skills were beyond that of a 5th or 4th seat. Even if Kaien tried to plead for her case before the other Captains, they all agreed with Byakuya's wish. He was after all the Kuchiki heir and Ukitake-taichou kept reminding him of the other reason.
'That man has still not forgotten the loss of his beloved wife Kaien. Even you can sympathize with his pain. He does not want anything untoward to befall Hisana-san's adored sister.' Kaien frowned.
He could sympathize, he wasn't a total asshole. But Rukia was not Hisana. Not by a long shot, sure they might look like twins at first glance and in their gentle mannerisms but other than that, that's where the resemblance ended. They were two completely different people. Rukia deserved to be promoted for her ability and progress. They arrived in the living room and he gestured to a pillow on the tatami mat.
"Sit down Kuchiki; I'll get you something to drink. Maybe I can get Miyako to make you some shira-tama." He said heading towards the shoji that led to the engawa that would lead towards the kitchen much more quickly. Rukia jumped up immediately.
"Please don't bother Miyako-dono or yourself on my account Kaien-dono. As a subordinate it is my duty to attend to your needs." He lowered his arm from the half opened shoji door and looked back at her blue eyes set in a frown.
"I understand that you are trying to make me feel better and the gesture is appreciated but there is nothing that can be done." Her small frame sunk to the ground on her knees before his eyes and a defeated look entered her dark violet eyes. "I suppose it is to be expected of one with such skills."
Anger bubbled inside his blood. He felt like all that time he had spend trying to get her to open up and be herself; to find her place in this world had been washed away in just a moment. It was like he was standing face to face with that lost little girl who'd just been admitted into his squad.
"Don't you dare say things like that Kuchiki! You're one of the best I've trained. Sure your swordsmanship could use some improvement but everyone has their faults. We've just learnt to hide them to the world. You need to remember why you want to be here. Where is your heart Kuchiki?"
Rukia remained silent and it irritated him even more. He raised his fist to knock some sense into her but his hand froze in the air. Her shivering form was telltale, she was trying to stop the tears from coming but it was futile. Her face was angled in a way where the only thing he could see was the top of her head and the tears that hit her hakama and balled fists. He took a step back and turned around exiting the room. "I'll be right back." He said not completely closing the screen. Instead of going towards the kitchen, Kaien headed towards the garden that faced him. The small pond he had created at Miayko's behest was littered with sakura leaves and a large pair of orange koi inside.
He seated himself at the pond's edge. Kaien was at a loss. Usually he would be able to hit her upside the head and snap her out of her depressions but this was something else. Something he needed to be very careful about. He wanted to help her but how?
"Anata?" Kaien spun around and faced his beautiful wife. Miyako approached him with an understanding look in her eyes. "I thought you were with the newly appointed seated officers today? Did everything go alright?"
"No, Rukia was again refused entry into the selection process. She's taking it harder than the last time. I don't know what to do Miyako. I can't see her this way; to see that inner fire go out is too much. That idiot is trapping his own sister in a cage that is suffocating her." He admitted blue eyes fixed on the orange koi that nipped at his finger.
"That idiot is very worried about her well being you know that."
"I'd protect Rukia with my life! I wouldn't let her die if she became a seated officer!"
"But you couldn't always be there with her to protect her, just as you can't be there all the time when I'm on a mission. You agree to let me follow my path because you care about me and understand my feelings. Byakuya refuses to let Rukia follow hers because he loved Hisa-chan above all else and because he doesn't understand Rukia." She placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.
"Relax, it'll all work out. I'll go make some dinner and some shira-tama, you'll both feel a bit better after you eat. I promise."
True to her word, dinner had changed their disposition somewhat but it was forced on Rukia's end. She gladly ate her favorite desert but the sadness and guilt would not leave her eyes. Miyako calmly cleared the table with Kaien's help and left the two alone.
"Listen Kuchiki…This isn't your fault. I promise you that next time you will get that promotion. Just don't act like it's the end of the world, you yourself should know your capabilities. Soul Society and Byakuya can't ignore you forever."
Rukia's eyes lifted from her tea cup and she smiled bitterly.
"I'm glad that you believe in my abilities Kaien-dono. If only nii-sama would see it that way. Perhaps he would not think so little of me and my skills. Perhaps it would be better if I stopped being a Shinigami if I cannot be trusted to be promoted."
Before he could get a rebuke in, the haunting sound of a koto's strings being plucked expertly resounded across his home. A knowing smile formed on his lips. Leave it to Miyako to find the oddest way to communicate. Rukia's eyes shot towards the open shoji door and she spotted the creator of the beautiful piece and the clear and even voice that followed.
"Doushite kimi wa chiisa na te de
kizu wo seoou to suru no darou?
dareka no tame dake janai miushinawanaide"
Why do you, with your small hands,
Try to bear all your pain by yourself?
Please don't lose sight of your way for someone else's sake."
Miyako was seated by the pond, her profile facing them as she played the koto with her right hand, the three picks attached to her thumb, forefinger and middle finger floating over the strings with her eyes half closed. She looked radiant in the darkened moonlight and her voice added to the setting. Rukia felt herself shift to have a better look at her idol, eyes brimming with questions.
"Just listen to her voice and don't think. You'll understand." Kaien murmured settling himself beside her as he watched his wife continue with her song.
"Doushite boku wa mayoinagara
nigedasu koto dekinai no darou?
nozomu no wa hikari sasu hi wo…hi wo...
How come when I am lost
I can never escape?
I'm heading towards the light of the sun…the sun..."
"Find the way
kagayaku sora ni te wa todokanakutemo
hibiku ai dake tayori ni
susunda michi no saki hikari ga mitsukaru kara
You'll find the way
Find the way
Even if I can't reach you across this dazzling sky
You can depend on my resounding love for you
Because at the end of the path we've traveled we'll find the light
You'll find the way"
Rukia's heart constricted. Miyako-dono was trying to tell her everything would work out but it wouldn't. It never did. Whenever she found a single speck of light in her life it always extinguished soon after she had grasped it within her hands.
"kimi wa itta nagai yume wo mita
totemo kanashii yume datta to
soredemo sono sugata wa sukoshi mo kumoranai
You said you had an endless dream...
You said it was incredibly sad,
Even so, you aren't being blocked by the clouds one bit
boku wa itta naite iinda to
zutto soba ni ite ageru yo
hoshii no wa dakiageru te wo te wo...
And I told you "It's okay to cry,
I'll stay by your side no matter what."
What I wish for is a hand, a hand to reach up to me..."
The short shinigami was shocked. That line…She glanced at her Vice-Captain from the corner of her eye.
'Remember Kuchiki, as long as you're in this squad, I'll be by your side for life, even if I die.'
When those words had been spoken, the relief she felt, the acceptance, the peace she felt within herself was what she had been yearning for. That hand had finally reached out to her and she had accepted its light. She had been at ease at that moment for the first time.
"Find the way
kotoba nakute mo tobu hane wa nakute mo
midasu kaze ni makenu you ni
ima dare yori hayaku itami ni kizuketa nara...
Find the way
Even without words, even without wings to fly on
You won't get lost in the winds of chaos
If right now you underwent more pain than ever before..."
"kotae wo dasu koto kitto subete janai
aseranakute iinda yo anata mo...
And you seem stuck for answers,
We don't have to panic, it's all right, and so are you..."
Violet eyes grew in size as Miyako-dono's soft gaze met hers as she sang that last line. 'I'm okay? It's okay for me to be as I am? With no seat, no achievements to show my progress?'
"Find the way
kagayaku sora ni te wa todokanakutemo
hibiku ai dake tayori ni
susunda michi no saki hikari ga mitsukaru kara
Find the way
kotoba nakutemo tobu hane wa nakutemo
midasu kaze ni makenu you ni
susunda michi no saki tashika na hikari wo mita...
You'll find the way
Find the way
Even if I can't reach you across this dazzling sky
You can depend on my resounding love for you
Because at the end of the path we've traveled we'll find the light
Find the way
Even without words, even without wings to fly on
You won't get lost in the winds of chaos
I know we saw the light that shows us the way
You'll find the way"
She ended her song with a few gentle plucks from the koto before settling her hands on its strings to halt the resonance. Her face broke into a smile but it slipped as she saw Rukia's tears from her seat. Kaien glanced at Rukia and smiled secretly.
"What's the matter Kuchiki? Can't handle one song? You're lucky; Miyako gave up singing a long time ago. She must really like you, it makes me jealous." He added with a gentle tap on her head. Rukia wiped the tears away and bowed in the 3rd seats direction.
"Arigatou gozaimashita Miyako-dono. I think I understand a little better now. I…I will not give up so easily."
"Ganbatte ne." Miyako replied all smiles again. "Saa, why don't we all go moon watching with the 11th squad? I'm sure Zaraki-taichou is eager to see you anata."
"That psycho? No way, let's head back to the barracks. Kiyone and Sentarou must be coming up with weird scenarios about why I took Kuchiki away." He said helping a blushing Rukia get up as Miyako re-entered the house and placed a gentle hand on the small girl's shoulder. Rukia closed her eyes briefly.
'This warmth…I feel at this moment that whatever may hurt me along my chosen path, this warmth will help me overcome myself. That it will ease the pain I must endure. I just wish to be in its presence forever.'
Kaien looked at Rukia's gentle expression to find a smile blooming on his own face. He glanced at Miyako and the adoration and thanks in his gaze did not escape her. She mouthed her reply just as Rukia moved away from them to head back to their barracks. He wiped the affectionate smile from his face that morphed into a sly grin.
"Okay Rukia, let's go. Fetch our coats at the front while we lock up."
"Hai!" The energy in her voice had somewhat returned and she ran towards the front with a renewed gait. Miyako placed the koto inside a box in the closet to store later just as Kaien wrapped her in a warm embrace.
"Anata?" She questioned gently.
"Thank you Miyako."
"Ara, I thought you had just told me that not a moment ago. You're just an opportunist. Poor Rukia, she's falling for a bad man." She replied as he kissed her neck gently.
"Might I remind you that you married said bad man?"
"True. I love you too anata. Don't worry so much, it makes your face look funny. Rukia will find her own way regardless of her brother's wishes. You know that just believe in her."
"I do."
"Then stop worrying. She'll be back to normal soon enough."
Side by side, the couple met up with Rukia at the front gate and made their way through the Seireitei towards the 13th squad headquarters with smiles. Kaien looked at the two women before him and smiled.
OWARI (1)
"Ara, Rukia-chan, are those the new Chappy plushies you wanted in that shop?" Miyako said pointing to their left. The light that entered his subordinate's eyes at the mention of her beloved Chappy chased the remnant sadness in her eyes completely.
She looked back at them with hopeful eyes. Kaien scratched his head and walked on ahead.
"I'll expect the two of you in an hour don't be late and don't bring anything back to the barracks. I expect you to do extra kendo training for this, got it?" He ordered as he turned around to face Rukia.
"Hai!" She answered before running into the shop. Kaien shifted his annoyed gaze towards his wife.
"I know you pointed that shop out on purpose." She smiled in return.
"And you know she'll insist on bringing me back some sort of Sap-py memorabilia."
"It's Chappy anata. And that winter hat and scarf she got you really suited you. I'll go buy you another set." She said walking into the store. Kaien was left standing there with a blank look on his face.
OWARI (2)
"Kaien-dono, thank you very much for what you did for me yesterday. Please accept this as my thanks."
Rukia shoved a lunch box filled with what he assumed must be Chappy shaped rice ball into his hands when in reality it looked like a blob of some kind. He bit into one and spat it out immediately.
"What the hell? Did you put sugar and frosting in this?"
"Of course, Chappy is filled with nothing but sugary sweetness." She said with a small matter-of-fact pout.
At that moment Miyako walked in with a stack of reports and spotted the rice balls.
"Ah, may I have one Rukia-chan?"
"Of course Miyako-dono."
"Miyako don't-" She bit into one and chewed quietly before she swallowed it. Both of them had their eyes on her face.
"Rukia-chan..."
"H-Hai..."
"Please make sure to give me the recipe. They're delicious!" Rukia beamed.
"Hai! Miyako-dono!"
Kaien fell off his desk with a thump.
These women would be the end of him.