I am waiting in a silent prayer

I am frightened by the load I bear

In a world as cold as stone

Must I walk this path alone?

~Amy Grant, Chris Eaton, Breath of Heaven

The interview with the roommate was a bust.

After an hour-long discussion, Beckett and Castle only managed to gain the knowledge that Joseph had contacted Scott Stephens yesterday morning (the 18th) to ask if he and his family could stay with him for a few days. Scott had said that he needed to ask his wife first and told Joseph that he would call him back that night. By the time Scott had tried to contact him, Mary and Joseph had probably already been dead. Cell phone records would most likely confirm this, Kate knew.

"He's going to regret for the rest of his life that he didn't open his home to them immediately," Rick murmured as they left the office building where Scott worked as a CPA.

Nodding soberly, Kate agreed but offered another perspective, "Although, who's to say that our killer wouldn't have tracked them there and killed Scott's family, too."

"So… a burden to bear but also a blessing," he countered with a tilt to his head that Kate knew as an indicator that he was processing the situation.

She let him think for a moment as they reached her car, then spoke to him over the top of the roof with her hand resting against the cool metal as though reaching out to him. "Me being shot? That was one of those burden-blessing things, too."

Sadness descended over Rick's features, her words soaking in and his nightmarish memories of that day barreling to the forefront of his mind's eye. "How so?" he managed to croak out past his suddenly parched throat.

She shrugged and nearly abandoned the conversation, but the yearning need in his eyes held her captive to finish what she'd started. "The burden part I'm sure you don't need me to explain. It made itself pretty plain during the sniper case." Her soft words had the pain of wisdom behind them – wisdom and regret. "But it also made me realize that I've been stuck in the past and missing out on my future." She held his gaze, riveted to the spot by the hope rising in the blue orbs. "I'm working on changing that."

His jaw flexed and a tiny muscle (otherwise undetected) twitched as he fought to mesh his swirling emotions into words that made sense without revealing more than he intended. Reeling from those five simple but loaded words, he opened his mouth to speak then shut it again when no sound emerged. The crinkles around Kate's eyes softened in understanding, and she granted him a reprieve by opening her door and sliding behind the wheel. Tears welled behind her lashes and lodged in her throat as she waited for him to join her – tears born from the weight that had lifted from her shoulders with the pivotal acknowledgment. Moving on felt good, she realized.

It felt like freedom.

It felt like living.

She heard his fingertips tap the top of the car (a last ditch effort to summon some coherency, she figured), and then he was beside her – his presence filling the vehicle and her senses with familiarity and 'rightness'. Shifting the car into gear, she started to merge into traffic, halting when his hand gently covered hers. She kept her eyes straight ahead, knowing that if she turned to look at him she would do something crazy like throw herself into his arms and kiss him senseless. Not that the idea wasn't appealing, but not here – not like this.

"Kate." His voice coated her heart like honey, the low timbre of her name humming perfectly in the back of his throat. She loved how her name sounded on his lips. "A blessing indeed," he finished thickly and released her hand after a tender squeeze.

Indeed.

The day had taken its toll on her. Rick noted the weary sag of her shoulders, the tense lines around her eyes and mouth. Tightening his grip on the coffee mug in his hand, he crossed the room and came to a stop at her side, wordlessly passing the beverage to her and smiling to himself when she took it with a grateful sigh.

"No leads. No witnesses. No clues. No ideas." She shifted her gaze to his, a frustrated spark lighting her eyes. "What are we missing, Rick?"

"I don't know, Kate," he exhaled loudly.

"If this were a book, how would you write it?"

He thought for a moment, his head tilted, his eyes roaming expertly over the murder board. "A young couple – due to give birth any day – flees their hometown. Probably against doctor's orders. You're not supposed to travel when you're nine months pregnant."

Kate nodded. "So something must have happened that made it extremely necessary for them to leave Nazareth."

Rubbing his chin, he winced at the scraping sound that indicated he needed a good shave. "A crime that one of them committed?" He shook his head before she could respond. "No – that wouldn't bring them to New York. Houston, maybe. Not all the way out here."

Leaning against the desk, he crossed his arms at his chest and his feet at his ankles. "No. Something happened to scare the heck out of them."

"But what?"

"I think we have to consider the possibility that someone was after the baby all along. They didn't take the baby as an afterthought – it was the reason Mary and Joseph were killed."

"I've already considered that possibility," Kate admitted. "If it's true – and I think it is – our perp is going to be that much harder to find. They were ready for the baby; they're not struggling to figure out what to do with him now. They can easily vanish into the throngs of thousands with Joshua, and we'll never find them."

"Hey…" He placed a comforting hand on her arm. "We'll find them. You're Kate Beckett. You don't give up this easily."

"I'm not giving up, Castle," she argued, spinning out of reach and banging her fist against the board in frustration. "I'm just… It's Christmas, you know?"

"I know." He didn't, but it seemed like the right thing to say. He knew her – and that had to count for something. "It's getting late. We're not going to get anywhere else on this case tonight, short of a Christmas miracle. Everyone else on our team has gone home. Even Gates left an hour ago."

He was right. She hated it (and loved it) when he was right. "Fine." She blew a hot breath through her lips, her hair tickling her cheek as the puff of air ruffled through her locks. "Wanna grab some dinner?"

"Actually…" He hopped off the desk and consulted his phone. "Tonight's Jar Night."

"Jar Night?"

The sheepish expression on his face drew a brilliant grin on hers as she waited for his explanation. "We have a jar with all the cliché Christmasy things to do in New York written on scraps of paper. Tonight is one of our jar nights – we have at least one a week in December. This week, we'll have two."

"So, you pick out a scrap of paper from the jar and do whatever it says on it?"

"Yep. And Alexis got tired of waiting on me tonight. She already picked. We're supposed to meet them at Rockefeller Center."

"Ice skating?" Kate bit her lip in trepidation.

His hand at her back, he led her to the elevator and leaned in closer to repeat her own words. "Ice skating."

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