A/N: It's all about to hit the fan, so hope you enjoy. Poor Dean, his day just doesn't get much better. I promise, I am ashamed of myself, I just can't help myself.

As always, thanks to my beta isugirl and to all the wonderful people who have taken the time to send me a review. I really do appreciate it.

The chapter title (Crazy Train) is an Ozzy Osbourne song from the album Blizzard of Ozz (1980).

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Chapter 21 – Crazy Train

Buffy sat on the filthy floor of the abandoned barroom while she anxiously watched over Dean and waited for him to wake up. As she waited, she kept her fingers pressed tightly against the inside of his wrist. His strong and steady pulse helped to reassure her that he was actually alive and kept her from flying into a blind rage. A rage that would be aimed specifically at the angel who'd brought them into this fight severely undermanned.

As soon as Eve fell, Cas had immediately regained his powers. It wasn't a moment too soon, because Dean had already collapsed into unconsciousness and his breathing had become very shallow and irregular. The angel rushed to his side and simply touched him briefly on the forehead. Instantly, all of his wounds completely disappeared and his breathing evened out. Buffy had never felt so incredibly relieved and thankful. But now the angel was gone and Dean still wasn't conscious and that worried her.

"Why isn't he awake yet?" she asked with frustration and fear in her voice.

"He will be," Bobby answered from where he sat, squatted down on his haunches by Dean's legs. "Cas said it might take a few minutes. He's tough, he'll be okay," he encouraged her. "I know it seems like forever, but it's actually only been a minute or two. He was in pretty rough shape, probably just needs some time to reboot."

Buffy looked over at Sam who was kneeling by Dean's other side. "I don't see why he couldn't stay until he woke up," she said angrily.

Sam didn't say anything. He just nodded his head slightly in agreement. He appeared to be too furious for words at the moment. Buffy noticed that Faith looked extremely uncomfortable as she knelt by his side. It was obvious from the expression on her face that she wasn't quite sure how to comfort him, but she did reach over to rub his shoulder. Once she had a less stressful minute, Buffy was totally going to reflect on how adorable that was and then tease Faith unmercifully.

"Cas takin' off like that don't make sense," Bobby remarked, sounding extremely irritated himself. "Of course, half the shit that went on here today don't make sense."

Buffy nodded her head in agreement before returning her gaze to Dean. She watched him silently for a few moments and when she spoke again, it was in a deadly calm tone. "I don't know how to kill an angel or if you even can kill an angel, but if Dean isn't okay… I will find out," she promised. "None of this would've happened if Cas hadn't brought us in here unprepared. We should've had more backup."

"I know how to kill an angel," Sam assured her tightly.

"Good, because I –," Buffy stopped midsentence when she saw Dean's eyelids fluttering open. "Dean, can you hear me?" she asked desperately. "Honey, please wake up. Tell us you're okay."

Dean blinked a few times and looked at the faces above him in confusion. "I'm alive?" he finally asked.

Sam sighed his relief and grasped his brother by the shoulder. "Yeah man, you're alive. Trust me, this ain't heaven."

"That's good, cause heaven's overrated," Dean remarked as he pushed himself up into a sitting position.

Buffy started to pull him into an embrace, but he grabbed her by the shoulders and held her away from him. Her eyes went wide, thinking he remembered her telling him about the baby. He'd been so out of it that she hadn't been sure if he'd understood anything she said. It looked like she was about to find out what his reaction was going to be.

"Wait a minute," he said suspiciously. "I'm not some freaky hybrid monster now am I?"

"No," Buffy laughed in relief as she wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. "I promise. No freaky hybrid monsters here. Just plain Dean."

"Good deal," he said as he returned her embrace. "Hey," he remarked with a grin as he pulled back to look at her. "Does this mean I get extra special treatment again?" he asked suggestively. "You know, like that time I was cursed. Cuz - just so ya know - this was way worse. I'm pretty damn traumatized. I'm actually really fragile right now," he added, trying to put on his best lost puppy dog face.

Buffy felt her face growing a little warm, but she still kissed him in reply. He'd pretty much earned a free pass from her for the day. They only stopped kissing when Faith suggested they "get a room". Dean didn't seem bothered by it though. In fact, he looked pretty pleased with himself. He accepted a hand-up from Sam and stood looking at the carnage for a moment. His smile faded quickly.

"I'm guessing Cas fixed me, but where the hell is he?"

"Stuff to do," Bobby answered with obvious displeasure. "Didn't have time to hang around."

"Dean, what happened here?" Sam asked curiously. "I'm pretty damn lost. Why didn't that antler thing work?"

Dean looked at his brother curiously for a moment, almost as if he was unsure himself. However, it was obvious the moment that the realization hit him, because he suddenly looked furious.

"That so-called relic was a worthless piece of shit!" he exclaimed angrily. "That's what happened! It was my blood that killed her. It didn't matter how I got it in her. I'm sure the only reason that stupid ass thing worked the first time was because it was soaked in Caveman Michael Sword's blood. There wasn't anything special about it. Never was."

"So, that's what was on the missing part of the scroll," Bobby remarked. "Ain't that a kick in the ass?"

"But how did you know that?" Buffy asked. "How did you know to use your blood?"

Dean didn't reply. Instead, he started yelling for Cas and threatening him with various forms of bodily harm if he didn't show himself immediately. Once it became obvious that the angel wasn't going to appear, he picked up one of the wooden bar stools and smashed it against the wall.

"He knew!" Dean raged. "That son of a bitch knew and he still let us come in here and try it."

Sam approached his brother cautiously, his hands held out to his sides. "Dude, I get it," he said evenly. "You're pissed. We're all pissed. Just take a minute and tell us what the hell's going on."

Dean took a deep breath and rubbed at his temples for a moment while he tried to compose himself. "Chuck," he finally said. "Chuck told me."

Bobby crinkled his brow in surprise. "You mean the supposed prophet that writes those God-awful books?"

"Yeah," Dean confirmed, "the great Penthouse Forum Prophet. Dude came to me in this really weird-ass dream and told me he knew what else was on the scroll. He said it was my blood that was important. Apparently, I wasn't even supposed to remember that unless Cas fucked-up and didn't tell me. God's testing him or some shit. Guess he flunked," he added bitterly.

"Damn," Sam said. It was the only thing he could think to say. "Guess that means –"

"I know," Dean cut him off gruffly. "You guys were right. Cas is up to something and it probably involves Crowley. Go ahead and say 'I told you so'."

"Dean, I'm not exactly gloating here," Sam replied. "I was hoping we were wrong."

"You got that right," Bobby agreed. "The last thing we need is more angel problems."

Buffy frowned as she looked at Dean. Underneath his rage, he was obviously hurting. He'd trusted the angel even when people close to him were starting to have doubts and now he'd been totally betrayed. She added that to her new list titled 'Reasons Why Castiel is a Huge Feathered Ass'. She had a feeling it was going to be a long one.

"I guess we better get back," she suggested gently as she put a hand on Dean's shoulder. "Time to hit the books again and start planning for Apocalypse 2011 phase 2."

"Yeah," Dean agreed angrily. "That's the phase where angels are dicks. Thought I'd already done that one."

"Welcome to the crappy sequel," Bobby said with a tired sigh as he left the group and walked/limped across the room to what was left of Eve's body. He bent down and pulled the dart from the shriveled remains of her shoulder.

"What are you doing Bobby?" Sam asked curiously.

He held up the dart he'd just retrieved. "I'm puttin' this in that stupid-ass reliquary. That way, if Eve ever breaks out again, some poor son of a bitch will be just as confused as we were."

"So, you're not gonna leave a note?" Faith asked.

Bobby shrugged. "Not sure yet. Depends on what kinda mood I'm in. I'm a bitter old bastard today."

XXXXXXXXXX

Castiel wasn't sure what to say once he appeared in the Stolen One's room. He'd found the girl, who he now knew was called Trish, sitting on a cot in the corner of the small bedroom she'd been confined to. He was immediately struck by the power emanating from her. It was the same kind of power he felt in the presence of any of the Slayers, but this one was more pronounced, more focused. Like the power he felt when he was near Buffy or Faith.

The girl looked younger than he'd expected, which was something he found quite disturbing. He'd seen many sixteen-year-old girls who appeared to be fully grown women. He reasoned that her youthful appearance might be partly due to the fact that she was so extremely thin. It caused her eyes to be large and childlike and kept her from possessing the curves that usually marked a woman from a girl. The teen had obviously been under a great deal of stress. Aside from the fact that she was underweight, her hair was also messy and there were large dark circles under her eyes. And, unfortunately, it wasn't only her distressed and childish appearance that was making his task more difficult.

When he'd arrived, he was overcome by guilt when he noted that she had a copy of the Bible clutched tightly in her hands and her head bowed as if she'd been praying. He hadn't been prepared for that. Also, instead of being frightened, she barely flinched when he appeared and even though she had tears streaming down her face, it didn't appear that it was his presence that was causing her grief. The tears, he realized, were a combination of both relief and joy. She looked up at him with an expression of pure awe on her features.

"I've seen you before," she said quietly. "You're the angel. The one Buffy knows."

"Yes," he replied stoically. "I am Castiel."

"Thank you," she said reverently as she continued to clutch the Bible tightly and gazed at him in wonder.

He looked away from the girl. He couldn't bear to see the gratitude in her eyes, not when he knew he was about to take her to her death. He wished she would just be quiet. It would make things much easier.

"For what?" he asked almost cautiously. "Why are you thanking me?"

"For the Mother," she replied, sounding surprised by the question. "You answered my prayers… She's gone now. I can't feel her anymore. You did that, didn't you?"

Castiel didn't reply. He didn't know how to. He didn't know what this meant. Was the girl's faith a sign that he was on the wrong path or was he only being weak? Could it be possible that her faith was a positive sign? That it meant she would understand what he needed to do. She was just one life after all. One life compared to the billions that would be spared when he defeated Raphael. Perhaps she'd willingly sacrifice herself if he explained what was at stake. But, did he still believe in his mission? He'd been so sure of himself just hours before, but he'd also been certain that Eve was no match for him. He'd been mistaken about that and it had almost cost Dean his life. Now, he was also aware that Crowley was responsible for the death of one of the young Slayers and had nearly caused the death of Faith. Those actions had been unnecessary and something the demon knew he would not approve of. Was Crowley doing other things he wasn't aware of? The possibility made him wonder if he'd been wrong to go along with this plan, yet he knew of no other way to defeat Raphael.

He stood staring blankly at the obviously confused teen as he tried to decide what he should do. He looked up, praying that his father would give him a sign and, as expected, he was answered with nothing but silence. He could, however, hear Dean raging at him. He was demanding that he show himself or be subjected to some rather puzzling consequences. He didn't believe it was actually possible to rip someone's lungs out of their ass, but Dean sounded extremely confident in his ability to do so. The sound of Dean's voice was making him feel even less confident in his choices. Dean would never agree to sacrifice this girl. Of course, the man often seemed to have difficulty seeing the big picture. He tended to place what Castiel felt was an unreasonable emphasis on the welfare of individual persons. But, could he be right?

XXXXXXXXXX

Buffy watched Dean with quiet concern as she sat in the passenger seat of the old Cadillac he'd hotwired. She couldn't believe she'd actually stood by and let him steal a car without even arguing. He was just so determined and, frankly, she wanted to get back to the Council as soon as possible (even if it was in a stolen car). Cab drivers were famously unwilling to venture to this part of town and that left waiting for a ride from one of her friends or boosting a car. The latter just seemed much quicker. Later, she'd make sure the car got dumped off somewhere and place an anonymous tip with the police. Hopefully they'd reunite the vehicle with its owner.

She was grateful that 'the prophet' had told Dean how to defeat Eve, but she was still pretty damn irritated that his info on Cas had been big on the vague and short on the actual info. What was up with all the cryptic? She wished that just once some prophet/messenger/spirit guide would give a straight answer that didn't involve riddles or infuriatingly confusing statements. Dean was already having a hard time with the situation. He'd been betrayed by a trusted friend and he was understandably furious about it. He didn't need a whopping dose of ambiguity as a side dish.

"Fuck me!" Dean exclaimed suddenly, startling everyone in the otherwise quiet vehicle. "I'm going to beat Andrew's scrawny little ass."

"Huh?" Buffy said, wondering where the hell that outburst had come from.

"Chuck's publishing again!" he declared. "Dude's a dead man. Because as soon as I'm finished giving Andrew his beat down, I'm shooting his drunk ass."

"Good luck," Sam replied from the backseat. "Cause I can't find him anywhere."

Dean whipped his head around and glared at his brother. "You knew about this?" he asked accusingly.

Buffy put a hand on his shoulder. "Dean. Sweetie, please keep your eyes on the road," she requested anxiously.

Thankfully, he did as requested and turned back around, but he continued to glare at his brother through the rearview mirror. Sam immediately regretted making that remark. Now was probably not the best time to get into what he did and did not know about Chuck's latest series of books. If they didn't all die in a horrible, fiery crash, they were going to end up in jail. Why were they even letting Dean drive? It wasn't the wisest choice.

"He knew it would just upset you," Buffy said in Sam's defense. "He didn't want you to know that I found out about…" She trailed off, not knowing how much Faith knew about the 'hell' subject. "Well, you know," she finally added.

"You mean about hell?" Dean thundered. "You're telling me you found out about me going to hell from those books? I take it back," he remarked through gritted teeth. "I'm not gonna shoot Chuck. That would be too easy. I'm gonna beat his ass and then road-haul him behind the Impala first. If he lives through all that, then I'll shoot him."

"Dean," Buffy said evenly. "You need to calm down and listen. The only person you're going to kill will be one of us if you don't pay attention to the road. There was no reading," she assured him firmly. "I just heard about it from Andrew. I'm not going to read those books. Ever. I promise."

Buffy's words did seem to make Dean a little calmer, but he was definitely still far from a Zen state of mind. "Fine. I'm still killing Chuck though and I'm still kicking the living shit out of Andrew. Don't bother trying to stop me."

Buffy didn't contradict him. Mainly because she doubted he would actually lay a finger on Andrew when it came down to it. He wouldn't do that to someone who obviously had no chance of holding their own in a fight against him. He probably would threaten him and if Andrew was stupid enough to run his mouth too much, he just might get himself punched, but Dean wasn't going to start beating him on sight. That much she was fairly sure of.

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Giles had become incredibly anxious as he awaited the return of the raiding party. Earlier, he'd gone back to the break room where the group had been assembling and nobody was there. It was as if they'd just disappeared and without so much as a goodbye. It was puzzling because he'd thought more of the Slayers were going and, honestly, he had half-a-mind to go himself. He and the older hunter had entered into a juvenile pissing contest of sorts. So, if Bobby was going, then Giles had decided he might just have to go as well. He wasn't going to be accused of being too 'delicate' to go out in the field. He'd show that cranky old grease monkey that he was more than capable of going into battle. Buffy would've disagreed with such a decision, but who was she to say that a couple of middle aged men couldn't be absurdly childish on occasion. They'd both earned the right.

He was incredibly relieved when he finally received a call from Buffy, but she didn't give him many details beyond the fact that Eve had been defeated. She'd seemed a bit distracted, which left him wondering if more problems weren't on the horizon. That wouldn't be shocking, but he had been hoping for a short respite before the next crisis. However, on the bright side, he did feel it was safe to venture outside while he waited for the others to arrive. The day was bitterly cold, but it was still better than being cooped up inside the Council building. At least the sun was out.

The group arrived a few minutes earlier than he'd expected. They practically skidded into the parking lot in a huge white Cadillac that Dean was driving. Luckily for the occupants, the man obviously had experience in maneuvering a vehicle that large. However, Giles decided he'd rather not know where said vehicle had come from. When they came to a stop after sliding sideways into an empty parking spot, the occupants quickly piled out and made a beeline for the building. Giles noticed that Dean looked like someone had put his clothing through a shredder and was surprised when he couldn't spot a scratch on him.

"The relic worked then?" he asked as Dean barreled up the stairs to the main entrance, looking surprisingly unhappy for someone who'd supposedly just slain the beast.

"The relic was crap," he replied shortly.

Bobby, who appeared to be favoring his right leg, lagged behind at a much slower pace and, thankfully, stopped to give Giles somewhat of an explanation. Granted, it was a rather bizarre explanation, involving a prophetic dream and a bar dart that was slated to be enshrined in the reliquary. Of course, by Hellmouth standards, none of that was too terribly peculiar. What concerned Giles was the revelation that they may be dealing with a rogue angel who, in Bobby's opinion, had likely decided to align himself with the demon known as 'The King of Hell'. Hellmouth or not, Giles decided that scenario did qualify as peculiar… and extremely disturbing.

XXXXXXXXXX

As they entered the building, Buffy was thrilled (but not shocked) that the first person they came across was Andrew. Of course it would be Andrew. Why wouldn't it be? She'd hoped Dean would have a little time to cool off before coming face-to-face with his number one fanboy, but she should've known better. Poor Dean just wasn't having a very good day. So, Buffy hovered close by in case she needed to restrain him.

"You!" Dean exclaimed as he pointed at a surprised looking Andrew. "You're gonna bring me every single one of those crap Supernatural books."

"Why?" he asked cautiously. The request obviously made him nervous.

"Because, I wanna catch up on my reading," Dean snapped sarcastically. "Dude, I'm going to salt and burn them," he emphasized slowly and deliberately. "Then, I'm going to piss on the ashes. So, forget you ever read 'em. Get it?"

"Um… yeah… I guess," he replied sheepishly.

"Super," Dean grumbled.

"Just do it, dude," Sam advised Andrew seriously. "Trust me."

Buffy could tell that Andrew was trying to catch her eye throughout the entire conversation. He was obviously hoping for her help in saving his sacred book collection. But, she ignored him. She didn't have time to listen to him whine right now. If he had any sense, he'd take Sam's advice and let the subject drop. The Slayer's duties did not extend to rescuing poorly written fantasy novels from an angry hunter's bonfire, especially when the existence of those novels might actually cause Dean's head to explode.

"Dean," Buffy said as she made a point not to even look in Andrew's direction. "I think we should go check on Trish. I'm hoping she's doing better now."

Before Dean could open his mouth to reply, Cas appeared just inches away from him. The shock was obviously the final straw in a series of final straws, causing Dean to yell "Goddammit Cas!" loudly enough for anyone within the city limits to hear.

The angel didn't seem surprised by this reaction. But, instead of addressing Dean he turned toward Buffy and said, "The girl is okay. She's safe in her room."

"How the hell would you even know that?" Dean asked angrily. "Dude, you've got some major explaining to do here. Starting with, why the hell you almost let us all get our asses killed today?"

Cas gazed back solemnly for a moment, he was obviously unsure of himself. "It is difficult to explain," he finally said. "Dean, I never meant any harm to come to you. I needed some information from Eve… information that would help me to defeat Raphael. I was afraid you wouldn't understand and I couldn't allow you to kill her before I had a chance to speak with her. I'm sorry Dean," he said sincerely as he looked him in the eyes. "I am truly sorry. The situation got out of my control," he admitted reluctantly.

Dean threw up his hands and looked at Cas with his mouth hanging open in amazement. "Ya think?" he asked. "What the hell's wrong with you Cas? You're looking for war tips from monsters now and you're leaving your friends hanging out to dry? Please tell me Crowley's not involved in any of this. Tell me you're not trying to open Purgatory with him. Dude, please!"

When he refused to make eye contact, Dean knew. Cas was in league with Crowley. Crowley! He was completely speechless. It'd been a little while since he'd been screwed over that massively by someone he trusted. He'd almost forgotten what a giant knife to the back felt like. Sam, on the other hand, was not speechless. He was livid.

"You almost got my brother killed today," he spat accusingly. "And you may as well have killed Kellie yourself. Or do you even know who I'm talking about?" he asked with contempt. "Do you even care what Crowley's been up to? Hell, maybe it was all your idea. I hope you're not too disappointed that Faith managed to pull through. She was in a shitload of pain if that helps."

Castiel gazed at the faces surrounding him. Sam, Bobby, and the two Slayers looked murderous, but the shocked look of betrayal on Dean's face was the worst. He wished he could make them understand. He shook his head slowly as he addressed the younger Winchester. "I had nothing to do with the girl's death, Sam. I assure you that I knew nothing about that before today. Crowley promised me he would not harm the Slayers. That was part of our deal. I would not have agreed to work with him otherwise."

Dean suddenly found his voice. "Crowley promised! What the fuck? You expect us to believe that you're surprised Crowley's a two-faced, murdering douche bag? Why Cas? What would possess you to work with Crowley in the first place? I thought we were on the same side. Haven't you seen anything to convince you not to make a deal with a demon? Did you forget how well that's worked out for the rest of us?"

"Dean, please listen to me," Castiel implored. "I've made mistakes. I see that now. I promise you that I will take care of Crowley. He won't have the opportunity to harm anyone else. Please believe me when I tell you that I never meant to betray you. I was doing this for you and for Sam… for all of you," he added as he looked around the room. "Raphael is much stronger than I am and I had very few options. If he wins, he will re-start the Apocalypse. Everything you sacrificed will mean nothing. Dean, I wanted you to have some peace. I was trying to ensure that you would be able to have the family I know you want. I wanted to give you a chance to see your daughter grow up."

"I'm having a girl?" Buffy asked in surprise as she looked down and placed both hands over her stomach.

Dean looked back and forth between Cas and Buffy for a moment. This just might qualify as the biggest 'what the hell?' of the day, which was really saying something. Surely he was hallucinating. He had to be hallucinating. Cas must be talking about some hypothetical future kid… but that didn't explain why Buffy seemed fixated on her belly and why Faith said, "Oh shit, looks like the cat's out of the bag". Then he noticed that Sam looked like he'd been caught with his hands in the cookie jar. It was official. This was 'National Keep Secrets from Dean Day'.

"Buffy?" he said as he looked at her with wide eyes and a suddenly very pale face. "Is there something you need to tell me?"

She smiled at him uncertainly. "Maybe," she shrugged.

Giles and Bobby said "Oh dear" and "Holy shit" almost in unison.

"Oh God," Dean said, sounding like someone who was very close to pure panic. "Oh my freaking God. This can't be happening." He was going to pass out. It was a chick flick thing to do, but he wasn't sure he'd be able to prevent it. A man could only be expected to take so much. "How the hell did this even happen?" he asked under his breath.

When it seemed no one else was going to offer an explanation, Castiel decided to step in. "I'm fairly certain –."

"Shut up, Cas," Dean warned icily as he held a hand up. "Don't say it. Not one word. I swear. I will flip the fuck out on you, dude. I'm not in the mood for it. Besides, what the hell? How long have you known about this?"

"I first got a sense of it when I attended your bizarre Halloween ritual, but it was very apparent the last time that I saw Buffy."

"And you didn't think that was something I might like to know about?" Dean asked incredulously.

Castiel looked extremely puzzled and unsure of himself. "I assumed that was one of those things I shouldn't talk about," he finally replied. "Like the movie about the pizza delivery man."

That was it. Dean could feel it. The little string that represented his grip on sanity had finally snapped. He was officially nuts. It was actually kind of liberating.

"Is there anything else I need to know?" he yelled to the room at large. "Any more big secrets? Cas," he said as he pointed to the angel. "Are you secretly sneaking off to the Pit to bang Lucifer?"

"No… I—, " he stammered in embarrassed confusion.

Dean ignored him and continued on with his rant. "What about you Andrew?" he thundered. "Is there an upcoming crappy Supernatural movie I should be aware of?"

Andrew shrugged and replied quietly. "I… well… there is a lot of hope in fandom for a TV series, but I don't think there's a wide enough audience for it yet."

Dean gaped at the younger man like he had three heads before turning back to Buffy. "Did you know you were pregnant?" he asked in a voice that was deceptively calm.

"Only since yesterday," she replied hesitantly.

"Right. Okay. So, that means you knew about this when you decided it was a good idea to take on a room full of monsters. Seriously? Are you a fucking idiot?" he yelled.

"Oh dear," Giles repeated. This was not going well.

"No Dean," she snapped back angrily. "I'm not a 'fucking idiot'. I'm also not sick or helpless and I haven't suddenly forgotten how to handle myself in a fight. Newsflash, I'm the Slayer. It was my job to go in there today. I wasn't going to stay behind and wring my hands while the life of my child and her father were both on the line. I could do something about it and I did. Deal with it! Maybe you should remember that this fragile little pregnant lady can knock your smartass into next week."

"Bullshit," Dean spat back at her. "I call bullshit. You shouldn't have gone in there and you know it."

"Oh really?" Buffy asked with her hands on her hips. "You know everything don't you? I forgot about that."

"NO!" he yelled back at her. "I don't know anything! Did you forget about the giant conspiracy to keep Dean in the dark?" He sat down heavily on a nearby chair and buried his face in his hands.

Buffy took a couple of deep breaths and reminded herself that Dean had been pushed to his limits and beyond. "Dean," she said much more calmly than she'd sounded the moment before. "I'm sorry you're angry, but I'm not sorry I went with you today. You'd never let me go into something like that without you. You can't expect me not to feel the same way."

"Are you trying to give me a stroke?" Dean asked in exasperation. "Don't you care how badly it freaks me out to think of you pregnant and getting ripped apart by monsters? You can't say I'd do the same thing. It's not fair, because it's totally freaking different. I'm not pregnant, Buffy! I'll never be pregnant."

"Actually," Andrew interjected. "You do get pregnant in fanfic a lot. It's a pretty popular genre with certain fans. It's not really my thing though," he added hurriedly when he could actually feel the burning rage radiating from Dean.

"Jesus Christ," Sam breathed in horror, breaking the stunned silence in the room. "You have got to be kidding me right now. Just please tell me I'm not the father in any of these stories. Dude… Please … Dude!"

"Sometimes you are," Andrew confirmed sheepishly, "…and sometimes Castiel is the father. Then there are the demonic pregnancies, but those don't usually end well."

"Kid," Bobby said gruffly. "Two things… One, I'm not sure I even get what the hell you're talkin' about, but if I've ever managed to impregnate Dean, you better take that to your grave… and two," he added as he looked over at Dean, who (if it was possible) appeared to actually be frozen in a state of catatonic rage. "Boy, I'd run if I were you," he advised seriously. "Run. Far and fast. While you still can. Scare up as many Slayers as you can find and hide under 'em. It's the best advice I can offer."

XXXXXXXXXX

Crowley stood up from his chair and clapped his hands together slowly. He felt obligated, because this episode truly deserved a standing ovation. He didn't think it was possible to be this entertained without actually getting blood under his nails. The show had action, betrayal, drama, angst, and a cast filled with so many mental defectives that comic relief was a virtual given. It was brilliant. He'd give it five stars even if it wasn't the most educational piece of theatre he'd ever witnessed.

So, the Stolen One was one of the precious little baby Slayers. That explained what Cas had been hiding. He must've suspected it and his angelic conscious had prevented him from mentioning it to the nasty demon. The angel had been on the fence between good and evil, but he'd finally decided to take the righteous path. It was inspiring, adorable even… and completely irrelevant. Because, while it was a shame that dear Cassie no longer wanted to play along, Crowley was a resourceful man. He never would've undertaken such an ambitious endeavor if he didn't have a solid contingency plan in place. He hadn't managed to claw his way to the top of the heap in the Pit on his looks alone.

Castiel would be coming for him. That much was clear. Too bad he'd be more than ready for him when he arrived. Crowley did have a bit of work to do in preparation, but he also knew that he had some time. The angel would need at least a few more minutes to properly grovel for his boyfriend's forgiveness. He suddenly wished his surveillance spell had come equipped with a DVR, because he did hate to miss that portion of the program. He'd been entertained enough already though. It was time to put his plans in order.

XXXXXXXXXX

Buffy lay and on the makeshift bed in her office as she watched Dean getting undressed. She'd never seen him looking so utterly defeated. It broke her heart to see him that way and even though she realized it wasn't fair, she was hurt that he didn't seem to be showing any excitement about the big news. Not that they'd had much time to celebrate anything today. She guessed she was being pretty unrealistic. It wasn't like this was happening at the most ideal time and she reminded herself that she'd had some serious wiggins at first. She couldn't blame him if he felt off balance.

"Are you still rage-y?" she asked him in a teasing tone when he lay down beside her and laced his hands behind his head.

"Nah, I'm all raged out," he replied with a sigh and then laid there staring silently at the ceiling.

"I was hoping we'd get to sleep in an actual bed tonight," she remarked, hoping to draw him into some semblance of a conversation.

"Can't do that until we're sure Cas is actually going to keep his word and take out Crowley," Dean replied bitterly.

"You don't think he will?" she asked cautiously. She was well aware that the entire subject was a landmine and she'd like Dean to stay rage free for the moment.

"I don't know," he said as he continued to gaze at the ceiling. "I never thought he'd hook up with Crowley in the first place. So don't ask me. I obviously don't know jack."

Buffy frowned. "He did seem sincere," she offered hopefully. "I still owe him a serious ass kicking, but he was all about the sorry. Plus, he did give us all the nitty gritty details on the master plan. He didn't have to do that, because it sure didn't put him in a very good light."

"Yeah, well… I kinda wish he hadn't. I can't believe he was the one blocking your dreams all this time. What a dick! And he actually considered bleeding a kid to death. I mean, what the hell? It's like I don't even know the guy anymore."

"I'm sorry Dean," Buffy said sincerely. "I really am… and I wish you hadn't had to find out about the baby in the middle of all of this. I guess you don't see it as very good news."

Dean rolled on his side so he could look at Buffy. He could tell by the sound of her voice that she was disappointed in his reaction. "Buffy, please don't try to make me feel like an ass. I'm trying here, okay? I'm sorry if I'm not jumping for joy that I knocked you up in the middle of a friggin apocalypse."

Deep breaths Buffy, she thought. There'd already been enough yelling for one day. "Don't you want the baby?" she asked, trying to sound as unemotional and non-judgmental as she could manage. It was hard though, because she was already so attached.

Dean reached out and put his arm around her and played with the hair that was falling across her shoulders. "Of course I do," he said seriously. "I've never wanted anything more than to be with you and have a home and an actual family. It's everything… the perfect package. But you don't understand," he continued with a haunted look in his eyes. "It doesn't matter what I want. It never has. My whole life has been one giant trail of death and destruction. The people I love always die and I'm scared as hell," he admitted, his voice shaky. "I don't think I'm strong enough to lose anyone else and I'm not sure what kind of a father I'll be. I don't want my child to be raised like I was. We were always looking behind our back, always on the run, and always afraid. No kid should have to live like that."

Buffy felt terrible for Dean. She already had a pretty clear picture of his childhood, but this was the first time that he'd actually admitted to the effect it had on him. "It doesn't have to be that way," she stressed. "I know you don't think it's possible, but I know we can do this. I'm scared too, but I truly believe this was meant to be. I promise you, we're going to get through this mess and I'm going to have this baby and she's going to be beautiful and perfect and she's going to have a chance… and you'll make a wonderful father," she assured him.

"You can't promise that," he said sadly.

"I'm promising you because I know it's true. I don't know how I know and I've never been a big believer in fate, but I feel it."

Dean actually laughed a little. "So, you're saying I just need to have faith. You sound like Chuck. That's not a good thing, by the way. Dude's a raging alcoholic with some seriously twisted sexual fetishes."

"I'll keep that in mind," Buffy replied with a small smile before turning serious and meeting his gaze steadily. "Dean, I'm not asking you to have faith in God. I might just get struck by a big ole lightning bolt for saying this, but he's not my go-to guy. I'm asking you to have faith in us. Have faith in our ability to make it through situations that are beyond crazy and still manage to stay mostly sane… and extremely good looking," she added with a playful grin. "We're the type of people that can ride a dragon and kill the Queen of the Monsters by throwing a perfect bullseye. I think we can handle one tiny baby. A tiny baby who will have an actual home and be surrounded by a lot of very powerful people who love her," she emphasized. "She'll be more closely guarded than those little Obama girls. I swear, I think Will's already busy knitting tiny protection charms. It would not be wise for anything to piss off Auntie Willow."

"I hope you're right," Dean replied with a small, but hopeful smile. "I guess Willow could be pretty badass if she needed to be."

"Trust me -You have no idea."

Buffy was relieved to see that Dean looked a tiny bit less freaked. At least he didn't look like he was going to pass out or shoot himself any time soon. Sadly, that was progress. She felt so much better just knowing that he did want their child. She could definitely work with that. But, she wasn't expecting miracles. Dean was going to be extremely anxious (and probably a huge pain her the ass) until he was sure that the Crowley fiasco was over. Then, there was the minor issue of making sure that no angels were actively trying to end the world. It was definitely a tall order, but she knew it would all be resolved. She had a feeling her night would be filled with several months' worth of blocked prophetic dreams. There was bound to be something in there she could use.

"Are you going to spend the next few months trying to give me a heart attack?" he asked.

The question drew Buffy out of her thoughts and she had to try to force herself not to smile when she replied, because she knew he was dead serious. "Not if I don't have to," she promised. "Just know that I'm coming off the bench if I think it's necessary. You won't be able to stop me, so maybe you should talk to Willow. She can probably hook you up with some calming herbs or something," she said half-jokingly.

"Yeah right. Think I'll pass. The last time I smoked 'calming herbs' I ended up paranoid as hell. I was convinced that the Impala had a poltergeist living in her vents. Then, I tried to eat a package of dry Ramen Noodles. I wouldn't recommend it. I almost chipped a tooth."

Buffy laughed. "I think you're talking about a different kind of herb."

"I hope so," Dean said, "because I'm gonna need somethin'. I know you're gonna do all sorts of crazy-ass shit and cause me to lose what's left of my sanity. Then, I'm going to spend the next eighteen… no better make that thirty years trying to keep a bunch of horny dumbasses away from my daughter. Plus, I have no freaking clue how to take care of a little girl. I don't know anything about baby girls. So, you better enjoy this pregnancy," he said seriously, "because I don't think there'll be another one, even if I have to do something completely batshit like getting myself snipped."

"Uh huh," Buffy agreed as she snuggled up against him. Arguments about other pregnancies could wait until after he'd survived this one.

"Guess I should make you an honest woman," he said thoughtfully as he pressed a soft kiss against her forehead.

Buffy leaned up on her elbows and glared at him in disbelief. "For your safety, I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that," she said with her brows drawn tightly together. "You're not getting away with any more lame declarations, mister. At least one of Buffy's fluffy romantic fantasies is going to come true, even if it kills you. So, don't say anything else until you can do it right. If you find that confusing, then I suggest you go talk to your brother. He might actually be able to lend you a clue."

Dean smirked. "Yeah," he agreed. "cause he's a giant girl."