N/A: Ok, so I got 7 reviews, and, as promised, here is the next chapter. This is the very last, and I'm going to make a good long one! Now, for those of you who called me evil, I know! And I'm really sorry, don't flame me, but characters do die. I'm sorry.
Chapter 15: My safe harbour
Everything was going in slow motion. I saw Jake lunge towards me, I felt a cold grip from behind. My body was thrown sideways. That must have been Jake. I couldn't hear anything. I wondered if I was dead. What a curious sensation to be dead...
Suddenly, I heard a feral roar. It filled my ears. It ripped through my body. It brought me back to the present with a sharp stab of reality.
I looked around. I had buried my head in my arms, and it was only now that I realise I was on the ground. Something had hit me, throwing me to the grass, and I had assumed it was Jake, making an attack. I had also assumed I was dead. But I wasn't. That surprised me. I wasn't dead. I laughed at that. I don't think you can laugh when you're dead. I couldn't be dead then. That's good. Except if Edward was dead. Then I would want to kill myself. But I couldn't explain it; I just didn't think he was. I looked around me, and froze.
The clearing was a battlefield. There was blood over every inch of the grass. And bodies. I cried out in pain. I wasn't hurt, but I was face to face with a piece of perfect granite. It was an arm. All around me was death. I noted with satisfaction that all the werewolves were dead. Except one.
I spotted Jacob and Edward across the field, facing each other off. They looked lethal. I was suddenly filled with fear for Edward. I knew how strong Jacob could be form personal experience. I knew he was going to attack, and I had to stop him. I had to. I suddenly remembered an earlier memory. Cold arms. Edward. Edward pushed me out the way. Edward sacrificed himself. I could only look on as the only man I had ever loved laughed in the face of death. He looked over the field, straight at me, and smiled my favourite crooked smile. Tears were streaming down my face, and I didn't care. I tried to smile back, but a soon as I opened my mouth, I let out a blood-curdling scream. I howled. I howled in anger, in pain, and in loss. I was going to lose Edward.
It was in slow motion again. I was on my feet running, but I wasn't fast enough. Jacob turned to me, grinning. I hated him. My hate seared through my veins. Everything ached. I pushed myself, at full vampire speed, but no matter what I did, I couldn't get there fast enough. I was too late. I did the only thing I could think of.
"NO EDWARD! I LOVE YOU! NO!" I fell to my knees, sobbing. Edward turned to me, and in that moment, I knew he would fight. He would fight for us.
I could only watch as Jake through himself at Edward, and Edward growled in return. The two launched themselves at each other, their movements to fast to catch. I felt cool arms around me, and everything went black.
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There were those cool arms again. So cool, so hard, yet so very soft. I was content just to lie here. I couldn't hear anything. Those arms were blocking everything out- all the sound, all the light. I couldn't do anything. There was a cool face then, on top of my hair. It was pressed gently against it. I could almost hear a gentle voice, very close to me, whispering words to me. They were claming words, much like a mother to her child. They were soothing and gentle. They were shielding me from the horror around me. But I didn't want to be shielded any more. I wanted to face the truth. And if that meant Edward was dead, then so be it. I shoved hard against the arms encircling me. They broke apart in surprise. The sound hit me like a fast bus. There was only one fight left. I wondered why the other vampires weren't helping Edward. They were just standing there, watching. I looked at Alice helplessly. She mouthed "It's their fight" then turned back towards them; worry clear on her marble face.
Back in the fight, Edward was winning. I thought he was winning anyway. It was kind of hard to tell, what with them both moving at super-human speeds.
I couldn't watch. I buried my head in Alice's chest, the roar of the battle filling my head. Suddenly, there was silence. Silence like I had never heard before (or not heard, as the case may be). I raised my head slowly, looking around with caution.
"It's over." Alice whispered grimly in my ear. I gulped.
"Who won?" I whispered, trembling. I wondered why we were whispering. Maybe we didn't want to face the truth just yet, if there was any truth to face. Maybe, we just didn't want to break this silence. There was never a silence such as this. The silence hung from every tree, it filled every space. It was beautiful. It scared me.
"We did. Edward did." I wondered why her voice still shook. Why she still sounded sad. I looked around, taking in my surroundings. I counted our ranks: Rosalie, Emmet, Carlisle, Esme, Alice, and Edward. Everyone was here. Everyone, except Jasper. I looked around me. Esme had her head buried in Carlisle's arms, and Emmet was holding Rosalie grimly against him. Edward didn't look triumphant, as he should have. He looked sad. On the verge of tears, almost. Why Jasper? Why quiet, peaceful, kind Jasper? I loved all my family, but Jasper…I never treated him as I should have. And now, he was gone. I smelt a sickly scent in the air, and looked to a bonfire I hadn't noticed before. It was glistening with a thick, cloying smoke. The bonfire, was Jasper, I realised with a sickening dread. The granite I saw before must have been him, the pieces of him. The horror of it struck me. Everything was my fault. Everything was always my fault. Why did I go to La Push? Why did I have to be so proud? Why?
I realised, suddenly, that I could question the truth endlessly, and never believe it. I could search everywhere, and never find it. Because the truth was here, right in front of me. And I didn't want to face it. I couldn't face it.
I looked at Edward, and in a second, he was at my side. I buried my face in his neck. And then I cried. I cried for all the memories of our time together. I cried for my family, one shorter. I cried for Edward. I cried for Alice. I cried that this age old controversy could only be settled by war. And I cried that it was my fault. My entire fault. I cried until I could cry no longer. Vampires couldn't cry, yet I was. Tears streamed down my face with reckless abandon. The pain inside me was aching. I needed to do this, and I think, somehow, Edward understood.
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I looked around the old town one last time. Everything had changed since the battle. Everyone had changed. Alice would need time. It was a little like when I had gone into hysteria after the rape, Carlisle told me. She would need time.
She spent her days in her room, and I think she was looking at pictures of their time together. Their short time together. She wanted to go back to that time. Their…home.
I heard the Avril Lavigne song 'Nobody's Home' blaring occasionally from her room. The lyrics haunted me.
What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many
problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She
wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken
inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her
eyes.
Broken inside.
Everything was so much quieter. We just seemed to be drifting. All of us. Drifting through our lives. But even the sturdiest boat needs a safe harbour once in a while.
Edward was mine. Was. But now, he was drifting, just like the rest of us. We needed to leave, I knew that. We needed to go back, back to our safe harbour.
And so, we left. We said goodbye to everybody, because this time, we weren't coming back. Carlisle and Esme were coming with us. Emmet and Rosalie were going to go travelling, and then meet us in Alaska. And Alice, well, Alice just needed to find herself. She would join us when she was ready.
The werewolves got their wish. They drove the vampires out of Forks, Washington. But we were going to our safe harbour, and their's would never be complete, because theirs would not exist without Jacob Black. And Jacob Black was gone.