All I really want for Christmas
Is someone to tuck me in,
A shoulder to cry on if I lose,
Shoulders to ride on if I win.
There's so much I could ask for
But there's just one thing I need.
All I really want for Christmas is a family.
~Steven Curtis Chapman, All I Really Want
December 21, 2011
Kate stretched her arms overhead and burrowed deeper under the covers before reaching for her phone and re-reading the texts that had been exchanged the night before. She felt a thrill of desire at the words he'd sent, and her heart skittered off kilter at the memories.
So why is it again that I'm in bed alone with all this mistletoe? Why not tonight?
Ever hear of the phrase "Do what you've always done and you'll get what you've always gotten"?
Yes. Not sure how that answers my question though.
I've screwed up every other relationship I've been in. I don't want the same results this time. So I'm trying things differently.
Is this your way of telling me that you're a hop-into-bed-on-the-first-date kinda guy?
Was. I was that kinda guy.
Not anymore?
Not for a long time.
Her toes curled into the blanket and she didn't even try to wipe the giddy smile off of her face. He made her feel … cherished … loved … wanted … just by not sleeping with her within hours of starting this new phase of their relationship. Imagine how she would feel after finally spending the night in his arms, in his bed – tangled limbs between the sheets and everything. The thought was enough to warrant a cold shower this morning, but just as she hopped out of bed (the irony!) her phone rang in her hands.
"Beckett." She swept her hair out of her face and held it above her head with a practiced wrist.
"Detective Beckett!" Alexis' cheery voice surprised Kate.
"Alexis. Hi. What's up? And it's Kate… again… please." She leaned in the doorframe leading into the bathroom and waited to find out why Castle's daughter had called.
"Today's tradition. Dad isn't going to invite you to come along today because he's being all weird and embarrassed and startlingly humble for him."
Kate arched an eyebrow and bent a knee, propping her foot up against the door jamb. "Castle? Humble? Is he sick?"
Alexis laughed. "You'd think he would be, but no." She paused, and Kate heard the voices of other teens growing louder in the background. "I only have a half-day today and then we're out for Christmas break. Every year on this day, we go on a mega shopping spree and then we take the toys and gifts to one of the New York Foundling's Mother-Child homes… and we sorta have a party for the teenage moms and their kids."
"Wow," Kate breathed, otherwise speechless. She'd known Castle had a big heart and a big wallet to support it, but she never really pictured him doing something like this. And then to keep it from her – that really didn't make any sense. "But… I don't get it, Alexis. Why wouldn't he want me to come?"
"I didn't say he doesn't want you to come. He just doesn't feel like he should ask you. So, I'm asking you instead."
"Does he know you're asking me?"
"Umm… no, not really. But trust me, Kate, he'll be really, really glad you're there."
Chuckles rumbled in Kate's chest. "Where should I be and what time should I be there?"
Alexis gave her all the vital details and hesitated for a few seconds before adding, "Kate – you make my dad really happy. I just … I just wanted you to know that."
Blinking back a sudden rush of emotion, the detective drew a shaky breath and smiled. "Thanks, Alexis. He – he makes me really happy, too."
"Good." Castle's daughter blew out a relieved breath. "I don't want him to be hurt."
"I'm not going to hurt him, Alexis." Kate inhaled deeply and smiled at her own realization. "I… He means a lot to me. More than anyone else in my life."
"I'm glad you guys finally figured this out," his daughter replied somewhat cryptically. "Gotta go, Kate. I'll see you this afternoon."
After that, the day seemed to fly by and before Kate knew it she was heading through the door of the Foundling Mother-Child home in Manhattan. What she assumed was an otherwise normal great-room had been transformed into a magical Christmas wonderland – thanks, she knew, to that army of elves she was convinced Castle had to have at his disposal. The man in question was holding court in the far corner of the room, helping the world's most perfect Santa hand out gifts, and she began weaving her way through the crowd of people. Waving to Alexis and Martha, she'd made it about halfway to his post before he looked over and saw her, a wide grin splitting his face in two even as his eyes flicked to Alexis in surprise.
"Heard you were suffering from a bout of humility," Kate teased when she reached him, hooking her arm through his with a bright smile of greeting.
His eyes flared with undisguised pleasure, and he led her off to the side before he lowered his head to kiss her, one hand sliding inside her coat to rest at her waist. "Hi," he murmured huskily.
When she didn't pull away, he chanced a second kiss – light and sweet, like the first one – and felt his heart scamper erratically when a hum of bliss vibrated in the back of Kate's throat. "Hi," she whispered. If he didn't know better (this was Kate Beckett, after all), he'd have sworn she sounded downright dreamy.
At the questioning arch of his brow, she ducked her head on a sudden bout of shyness and mumbled, "I missed you today."
His finger at her chin, he tipped her face upward and gently nuzzled her nose with his. "I missed you, too."
He stayed wrapped in the coziness of the moment until Kate – out of the blue – smacked him on the shoulder. "Ow!" he brayed, rubbing the spot with an exaggerated grimace. "What was that for?"
"Why wouldn't you tell me about this?" she demanded, arms crossing indignantly at her chest.
"Uh…" His voice faltered, and he felt as sheepish as Richie Cunningham in HappyDays. "Well… I don't know, Kate." He completed the picture by rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. "It just seemed… arrogant… sort-of."
"Since when does Rick Castle pass up the opportunity to tell a female about how much money he has – especially when he's giving it away to teenage mothers and their children?" She was grinning, teasing him, but there was truth behind her words and they both knew it.
Rick's eyes turned serious, and she caught her breath as his heart gazed back at her. When he spoke, his words washed over her like the first snow of the season. "Since he fell in love with you."
Air whooshed from her lungs as though someone had just punched her in the gut. He completely stole her ability to speak – even to think – coherently, and all she could manage in reply was a raspy, "Rick…"
With a final kiss to her jaw line, he retreated to his spot next to Santa Claus just in time to hand a beautifully wrapped spa gift basket to a young teenage girl and a gargantuan teddy bear to her 15-month-old son. Kate watched him, love quaking through her until her knees were weak with realization. She headed over to where Alexis was playing Christmas carols on the piano and slid to a seat next to her on the bench.
"See?" Rick's daughter said with a wink and a nudge – not missing a beat in the song beneath her fingers. "I told you he would be really, really glad you were here."
Kate felt herself blushing, and her bottom lip found its way nervously between her teeth. "Yeah… he seemed to be."
Alexis snorted. "Please. That goofy grin is going to freeze to his face if he's not careful. And if he looks over here one more time, I'm fining him a dollar for excessive PDA."
The redhead eased out of one Christmas song and into another before glancing at Kate and softly asking, "Do you love him?"
Kate froze, her lungs constricting painfully, her scar throbbing in protest. She gulped in several breaths of air before turning to look Alexis directly in the eyes. Before she answered, she let her gaze migrate toward Castle and shifted back to Alexis as her heart thudded with terrified courage. "I do. Yes." A relieved smile broke across her face, and tears filled her eyes even as laughter bubbled in her chest. "I do, Alexis. I really do."
Alexis' eyes also welled, and she blinked rapidly to quell the emotion as she forced her attention to return to the refrain of "Jingle Bells" across the familiar keys. "I'm glad," she finally whispered, so quietly that Kate almost missed the approval in her voice. "I'm not sure anyone – besides me and Grams – has ever really loved him for him, not for how famous he is or how much money he makes."
As the song ended, she briefly tilted her face toward the detective still seated next to her and gave her a watery smile. "Thanks, Kate."
"What is all of this?" Castle's voice sounded over Kate's shoulder, and she looked at him in surprise. "We're supposed to be spreading Christmas cheer, not tears. Was there a typo on the super-secret family memo?" His hands cradled Kate's upper arms with a gentle caress, and she let her weight relax against his chest, raising her chin to meet his smiling gaze.
"They're tears of cheer, does that make it better?"
Rick laughed and reached around Kate to tweak his daughter's ear. "Everything okay, pumpkin?"
Alexis beamed and nodded. "More than okay, Dad."
Flexing her fingers, she launched into a peppy rendition of "Rudolph", and Rick – satisfied that all was well – leaned close to Kate's ear to whisper, "Wanna help me get something out of the car?"
She readily agreed and followed him outside, her suspicions growing when he reached the car and merely leaned against it instead of opening it to retrieve the mystery 'something'. Tugging her into his embrace, he emitted a low groan when her body nestled snugly against his. He moved her hair out of the way and cupped either side of her jaw just below her ears. Angling his face and beginning a slow descent, he watched her eyelids flutter closed and settled his lips over hers with a hungry growl. She surrendered to his feasting of her mouth and gripped his elbows, allowing herself to relax into the moment and returning his kiss with an equal fervor. His fingers knotted in her tresses and he pulled her closer, swallowing her quiet moan and nipping at her lip in gentle reproof.
"Castle…" she breathed as his lips traveled to her earlobe. She gasped his name again as his tongue swirled around the sensitive cartilage, and her grip on his elbows tightened in time with the spasm that wracked her frame. He left a trail of kisses along her jaw, stopping to lavish her chin and throat with attention, before making his way to the opposite ear and repeating his tongue's worship of that lobe as well. As he eased away to take in the beauty of her face – the heightened color in her cheeks, the glazed dilation to her pupils, the erotic parting of her lips – he felt her lower body tuck more intimately into his and nearly choked on his own tongue.
"What… uh … what did you need from the car?" Kate managed to get out, glad he was still holding her to allow her wobbly legs a chance for recovery before she would be forced to stand on her own strength. Rick's face creased into a slow, sexy smile, and he watched as realization dawned on her face. "You didn't need anything, did you? This was just a ruse to make out with me, wasn't it?"
"Guilty as charged," he chuckled. Winking at her, he added, "Would that be considered filing a false report with a police officer?"
"Maybe," she teased in return. "Should I arrest you?"
"If that involves your handcuffs, then yes please." His quick retort brought a laugh to her eyes, and he ran a finger down her nose as she crinkled her face in amusement. "But – at the risk of sounding maudlin and cheesy – I did need something, Kate. I needed you. Plain and simple."
Burying her face in his warm chest, she pressed a kiss to his heart. "I think I like maudlin and cheesy."
He feathered his lips against her hair and wrapped his arms more tightly around her slender torso. "Me too."