Author's Note:
Well, this chapter should be pretty revealing as to the personalities of Billy and Rebecca.
Rebecca and Billy are the two ONLY changeable characters throughout the game, with the exception of Leon S. Kennedy. But while his changes take place over the course of several games, Billy and Rebecca's personalities show remarkable adaptability. In RE0 vs Umbrella Chronicles, Rebecca is more confident in the former, although she's just as sparky in UC. Billy, in the beginning of RE0 is flirty and laid back, but as the games go on, he reveals himself to be caring, stubborn, and (in my opinion) deeply wounded by the world.
Tbh, he's kind of a cynical ass. But he's a genuinely good guy, deep down.
1995
Billy knelt at the pew. Devotion, it was called. Just to sit in peace and quiet, listen to the priest's hum as he prepared for his next sermon, the occasional murmur of one of the few others with him.
Anna hummed along with him, her thoughts shielded from his. Nowadays, as she began to fade, her voice was strongest when he did what she loved. So whenever he was on leave, he visited dozens of churches, practiced piano, and ate every meal outside, reminiscent of the last meal they shared together. Christ, he missed her.
Billy was a man who was learning about peace. He had learned to rein in his temper, to stay calm in any situation. He remained as unsocial as he had been since the accident, and not a day passed when he didn't think about his mother or grandparents, the silly antics and warm familiarity they had all shared.
After an hour, he stood and walked out of the church. He was twenty-three now. He felt so much fucking older than that. His celibacy, his temperance, and his lifestyle had brought him a quietness of spirit. His Marine buddies always asked him to join them in a celebratory night out, to confide in them and party with them. But Billy always refused.
Lieutenant Billy Coen had become somewhat of a mystery to his comrades. He was considered a good leader, but was cold and quiet, impersonal and distant. He'd changed often in the past few years, and it hadn't gone unnoticed. Men and women with families noted his ever-constant presence, and the wilder, younger ones who liked partying and freedom noted his polite refusals to join them. He was friendless but respected, with a quiet, calm aura that belied his past as well as his size.
He enjoyed the warmth that came over him as the sun fell over his figure in the noon light. He took a deep breath and just held it within his lungs for a single moment, capturing the fresh, scentless, tasteless ease that it entered his body.
He exhaled.
He didn't know what to do with himself. Anna was faint once more, and all he fucking wanted right now was to listen to her. He yawned. Most of his nights were spent now, waiting for her to speak, to try and lull him to sleep. But she sure as shit wasn't. He and his newfound patience waited for her voice, night after night, and then he woke himself at six every day, with a complete workout regimen. He had begun putting himself in jeopardy, volunteering for more dangerous missions, and craving to hear her voice. He'd won several awards that he didn't care about, and was considered one of the top men. In a few more successful missions, he'd be prime for promotion.
He couldn't bring himself to care.
He was a professional, one of the best at his job, a career man, and reasonably well paid for it. He survived.
That was about it, though. He managed. He ate well, cooking often, because Anna liked it. He bought fancy fucking food, nothing from the package. He looked up recipes and bought fucking cookbooks. He was a damn good cook by now. He slept horribly, staying up all night and waking up early. He was fit, working out every morning for two hours.
And he was learning to cope well.
But everything was getting to him: his nerves were shot, he wanted sex, and a drink didn't sound too bad either. But these bad habits had fucked him up before: he didn't want to fall into that territory again.
As he strode, he heard someone yelling his name. A girl. He sighed internally and looked around, spotting the young woman who had called his name.
"Hey Billy," the girl panted.
He was preoccupied, but this girl, he genuinely liked. Rosa Jones had gone to high school with him, and been one of the sportier girls. She had run track, played volleyball, softball, and basketball. She was a tall, pretty Hispanic girl with a wide smile and a girlfriend. Billy liked her because he knew she'd never make a move on him. "How are you?" he asked her, turning his attention towards her.
She panted a little, and he noticed her workout attire and the sweat dripping from her tan, muscular body. "I've been good. Training for a marathon, actually. Which is why I'm looking so lovely," she grinned and gestured at her damp body.
Billy gave a welcoming return smile. "Really? Must be tough training for that."
"Yeah, I've had to go on this crazy diet. The smaller, the faster, you know? It's been killing Consuela. She likes me when I'm bigger." Rosa winked lewdly and Billy felt a real laugh bubble up inside her.
Rosa had been openly gay in high school, and gone through a lot of shit for it, especially in the locker rooms. But she had always been tough and stood her ground, willing to fight to defend herself. Consuela had been a few years younger than them, but he faintly remembered her. She was short and thick, with dark hair and eyes. Billy hadn't known she was a lesbian until she and Rosa had begun a relationship.
When Billy didn't answer, Rosa continued. "I should probably go, Billy, but it was nice to see you. You're always gone! I'm always surprised to see you in town."
Billy shrugged. "Guess I'm not around much, am I? Always busy, popular guy that I am."
Rosa barked a laugh and punched his shoulder playfully. "Call me sometime, Billy! You could use more friends."
"Yeah, for free shit and beer," he answered dryly.
She rolled her eyes, giggling. "Whatever. But I'm serious! I expect a call within the next five years." she teased him, jogging away.
He felt himself smiling. It actually hurt. He hadn't grinned like this in months. It felt good though: the soreness around his mouth and cheeks was satisfying, and he felt lighter in his step after speaking to Rosa. He couldn't stop the grin. It was uncontrollable, and he felt something genuine bubble up.
Billy burst out laughing.
Walking along the middle of the street, the stoic Billy Coen, walking alone, began to laugh like an idiot.
He got a couple stares, but it was a hot day and few people were walking. Anyway, he didn't really care about what they thought. Shit, he was happy. Just a moment's conversation with a friendly woman he barely knew had made him happy.
Maybe he did need to get out more often.
Rebecca laughed and shoved Jacob away from her. Sitting in her dimly lit dorm room, with the scent of coffee and Chinese food filtering through the air, the two were just sitting together. They had been together over a year, and Rebecca loved every minute she spent with him. He was funny, he was earnest, and he truly cared about what she had to say.
He laughed with her, his floppy curls falling over his forehead. "You know you want it," he teased, planting sloppy kisses all over her face.
She laughed and wiped her face free of slime. "Get off me, you big Neanderthal!" she laughed as he laid on top of her, crushing her with his weight.
"No, I'm pretty comfortable," he pretended to yawn and fall asleep, obnoxiously faking snores in her ear.
"Am I that boring?" she chuckled at his ridiculous behavior and tried to wriggle her way free.
"Not at all. I'm not bored," he answered devilishly, giving her a real kiss.
It was much better than the first one they'd shared. His technique had improved with time and age, as well as practice. He gently ran his hands down her body and she relaxed like a cat in the sun.
What she loved about Jacob was that when he kissed, he was gentle. When he touched her body, he never left a spot untouched, but never tried to reach beneath her clothing unless she lead him. He rested his hands on her clothed breasts and she felt a yearning deep inside of her: but for what, she didn't know.
She wasn't ready to have sex with him. But the feeling was there. They explored each other slowly, wondrously, curiously. They were each other's practice dummies, sounding boards of what was okay, what was good, and what wasn't.
It was the best science project Rebecca had ever done.
She lazily let him run his hands over her body, with the only thing separating them a thin shirt.
Science project.
Shit.
She leapt from the bed, nearly knocking Jacob off the bed in the process. "Jacob!" she realized fretfully, prancing around the room, trying to delay the panic. "I have a test tomorrow! I have to study! It's first thing in the morning, I'm gonna be up all night! I'm so irresponsible; I can't believe I forgot something like this! It's worth a quarter of my grade! How am I going to do this!" she wailed.
She was an idiot. How could she forget this? It was one of the most important exams of the course, and she forgot it. She was an idiot. After all the allowances the school and Johnson and Umbrella and the Redfields and Jacob had given her, she was screwing up.
Rebecca burst into tears. It was stupid and she knew it, but she was panicking and emotional and she was going to have to stay up again and she was so tired, so exhausted that she couldn't even think, which made the entire matter worse, because if she couldn't think then she couldn't study and she'd fail, but she was going to fail anyway because she was a raving idiot.
"Rebecca," Jacob sat on the floor and pulled her down onto his lap. "Shh, calm down. It's okay. Why don't you give me the information you need, like on a packet, and I'll quiz you? Then, whatever you don't know, you can study. It can cut your time in half, depending on how much you already have memorized." He soothed her, and she let herself sob into his chest.
She just needed a release. For years and years, she had just been climbing up an insurmountable cliff, unable to see in front of her, and unable to look up into the glare of the sun. She was exhausted. She never had a break. Even her breaks were filled with her scheduling her future time. Any time she went out with Claire or Jacob, she went home and studied all night immediately afterwards. Rebecca was fucking tired.
There, she said it. She was fucking exhausted beyond words.
But after this, she'd be done.
After this, she could choose her path. Just these next few weeks. If she could get through, if she could survive just a little longer, she could do whatever she liked.
Johnson had arranged for her to stay with him. He had officially retired as a tutor. He said she could stay with him for as long as she liked. When they spoke, her acceptance of his over had been laced with gratitude. She loved him like a father. She regretted that she had seen so little of him since starting school. But she'd be done soon, so soon.
Yet these last weeks would kill her.
She finished crying and relaxed in Jacob's thin arms for a few moments. The tall, good-looking boy rubbed her arm until she relaxed. "Please don't cry, Becca, I'll help you however I can," he promised. "I'll stay here all night."
She nodded in gratitude and burst into tears all over again. "You're too good to me," she cried.
He cuddled her closer. "Just let it out, Becca, go ahead and cry. I'm right here and I'll take good care of you."
She felt the unspoken words. I love you, his silence said.
She didn't love him.
She cared about Jacob, and wanted to be with him. For a long time. He was the only person she had ever related too like this. Kyle and Lindsey had been so much older than her, and they had left so long ago. Chris and Claire took care of her, were like family to her. But Jacob taught her things about her body she hadn't known, kissed her and flirted with her. It was a strange, sometimes frightening new world that he opened up for her.
She had to grow up so fast, it wasn't fair. She could at least grab the few snatches of joy life gave to her. It was only right.
Rebecca wondered what her life could've been, if all those years ago she hadn't been a genius. If she had just been a regular girl.
Would she still be in the orphanage? Would she know Johnson the way she did now?
She most certainly wouldn't know Claire or Chris, and the name Jacob would mean nothing to her.
Perhaps it would've been worse. People came and went in the orphanage. Maybe she would've never been adopted.
But maybe she would've. She could've found a family. Lindsey and Kyle both had, although they were long past the prime that children were wanted. She was younger than the both of them. Would she have ever had a chance at a normal life? Or was she destined from the beginning?
It sounded dramatic in her head, but it was true. Her fate had been mapped out from the second she was born.
Her very life had stolen her mother's, and with that, the deal was sealed. Self pity wasn't attractive, but at this point, Rebecca couldn't help herself.
She finished her sobs and quieted in his arms. He kept rubbing her shoulders, and planted a soft kiss on her temple. "You feeling better now? I know it's stressful. It's only a little longer though. Two weeks and you're done."
She sniffed and sighed, not caring that her face was blotchy and her cheeks still wet. "I know. I'm almost there. But these two weeks feel like the most difficult of all. You're right, though. Two weeks, and I can go to Johnson. He'll help me get my license and a job and I can just relax for a while. It'll be a nice change."
The scent of Rebecca's steamed vegetables and rice, mingling with Jacob's sweet and sour pork made a sickening aroma. She opened the window and took a deep breath.
"Ready to study?" Jacob's eyes twinkled.
After three AM had come and passed, Rebecca was reassured that she'd pass the test. She needed to wake up at promptly nine to prepare for the exam, which started at nine thirty sharp.
She got into the shower and scrubbed her hair and skin. She hated being dirty, greasy, or in any way unclean. She loved the feel of hot water running down her, the scent of her soaps and shampoos filling the air, the white fluff of her shaving cream.
Rebecca decided to go all out in the shower, even bringing her tooth brush. She scrubbed her face, first with soap, then with an exfoliating wash, and finally caked on a wet mask, but not before she had shampooed her hair. She left the conditioner in, shaving both her legs to smooth perfection before rinsing her auburn locks. She was exhausted, but going to sleep freshly showered was such a wonderful feeling. She made sure she was hairless, then brushed her teeth rigorously, scrubbing as hard as she could. Coffee stained, and she didn't want yellow teeth.
After using a fancy body wash Johnson had gotten her for Christmas, she rinsed her mask off and packed all her stuff back into her little shower bag.
She tiptoed into her room in just a towel. Nobody in her dorm would be awake at this time, so she didn't mind.
As soon as she made it back, she realized Jacob was asleep. She kept the lights dimmed, but opened the window to make the smell of takeout leave. The July breeze was sweet, and the night was quiet.
She put on lotion carefully, not too much. She hated the dryness of her skin, but she disliked the residue lotion could leave even more.
She climbed into some pajamas and curled into bed with Jacob. He was warm, something familiar to keep her feeling safe and comforted.
She curled up next to him, soothed by his even breathing. He was so good to her. She knew he would do anything for her. He loved her.
Suddenly, she felt guilty. How could she not love him back after all he'd done for her? It was horribly selfish. She couldn't help it, but she wished she could. He deserved it, and more. He was kind, and so giving. He did so much for her, and never asked anything in return, never forced his feelings on her. He knew it and accepted it, and Rebecca felt her heart ache for the boy who did so much for her, and asked so little in return.
But at the same time, the idea of lying to him, of saying something that wasn't true to the person she cared about so deeply, rankled. She shouldn't have to lie to him. It should be true.
But he'd see her for the liar she was in an instant and be even more hurt by that, than any silence she gave him. She would never hurt him if she didn't have too. He was hers. He was her friend, her comrade, her buddy, her boyfriend. She may have just been a kid, but she'd been forced into adulthood early enough to know one thing.
Love couldn't be forced.
And she wouldn't force anything, not with Jacob. It would be a natural transition, it would be life. It'd be completely, one hundred percent real.
She slipped her hand into his and slept, hoping for love and for top marks on her anatomy exam.