Disclaimer: I still don't own Sherlock and John, but this is my last chance to post this before the new episode tonight makes them look really out of character!

Do you want me to get a Christmas tree while I'm out shopping?

If you must. –SH

Not a real one though. I'd rather not have an insect-infested object in the flat. –SH

What? You keep bugs in the flat all the time! I'd really like a real tree Sherlock.

I keep them contained for observation. It's different. –SH

So should I stop by the tree lot on the way home?

Fine. Do what you want. -SH

Great! Can you measure how high the ceiling is for me?

No. -SH

Why not?

I have the dimensions of the flat memorized, I don't need to measure. -SH

So, can you tell me what they are?

Two and a half meters. -SH

Right… Um, do you have any decorations or should I get those while I'm out as well?

Go ahead and get some. -SH

Do you care at all what they look like or should I just use my best judgment?

Use your best judgment, John. My aptitudes hardly tend toward Christmas decorations. Just don't get flashing lights, it'll be distracting enough without giving me a migraine. -SH

As distracting as body parts in various states of decomposition lying around the flat?

Those are pertinent to cases and discoveries for future cases and I'll kindly ask you to stop using them as excuses. –SH

As excuses? When do I use your foul-smelling experiments as excuses?

You cited my bugs in the flat as a logical excuse as why a live Christmas tree is reasonable. You also said that flashing lights wouldn't be "as distracting as body parts in various states of decomposition. –SH

Those are not excuses Sherlock! Those are facts! Most normal people have Christmas hams in their fridges this time of year, not heads!

Most normal people do not solve unsolvable crimes! They also don't care as much about the world they're blindly stumbling through. –SH

Poetic. What's that, Emerson?

I don't read poetry, takes up memory. –SH

Okaaay. Speaking of the normal people who don't have hard drives for brains, do you want to come to the Yard's holiday party with me?

I'm too busy at the moment. You go ahead. –SH

Busy doing what? When I left the flat you were complaining of being bored. Again.

Tending to experiments and thinking. –SH

Just so I know, why don't you think and experiment when you're bored all the other times?

Lestrade just gave me a deliciously interesting case so I am very busy thinking and experimenting about it. Go to your party. I'll be working. –SH

You've got a case? During the holidays? Christ, Sherlock! What's it about?

Crime never rests, John. And technically it's a lead, but eventually a case. –SH

Of course crime never rests. Why would I ever think that maybe I could have a quiet Christmas without violence or bodies?

Feel free to enjoy your Christmas. I'll deal with the case myself. –SH

You don't really think I'd just let you go off on your own and get yourself killed?

No, I think you'll come along to help me because you love the thrill of the chase. –SH

You're a real arse sometimes, you know that? Even so, I can't let you go off on your own, because if you die I'd have to pay rent myself.

Angelo's. Six o'clock. –SH

I'll be there, but you're paying.

Fine. -SH

A.N. Well, it's not quite Christmas anymore but you know how it goes. Work, holiday celebrations, cleaning, presents… Or maybe I just procrastinated and this was my New Year's resolution. The world may never know. Once again a big shout out to PantyDragon and her crazy betaing skills and to my partner in crime BlinkingAngel as Sherlock! Happy New Year!