Chapter Sixteen
Jack woke with Lock's back pressed to his chest, and he curled closer, burying his face in her neck. She snickered and pressed closer to him.
"Morning," he smiled, "how'd you sleep?"
"No monsters, no nightmares," she yawned, not making a move from him.
"Glad I helped," he grinned.
"Mmmm," she rolled over and cuddled close to his chest, her hand caressing his back.
God, I never woke up like this with Kett. . . he thought.
"Hey, you two," Bobby appeared. "Ma's got breakfast downstairs."
"All right, Bobby," Lock said.
"Wait! How come he's not trippin' out!" Jack asked after Bobby left.
"He saw us last night. . .Woke me up to see what the deal was. . I told him, he told Evelyn I guess. . .They know it wasn't like we did nothing'. . ."
"Oh, I see. . .so much for not feeling awkward about this. . ." he mumbled.
"Why would you feel weird?" she looked into his eyes.
"I didn't mean like that! I just. . .know they would prolly suspect something. . . .Man, am I gonna get ragged on now. . ." he sighed.
"I was just teasing, Jackie boy," she smiled, giving his lips a light kiss.
"Nice," he grinned. "Thanks, Lock."
"Anytime," she laughed, stretching and getting out of the bed. "C'mon, or we'll both never live this down."
"Hey!" he laughed and sat up, catching her around the waist and pulling her back to him. "Come here."
She squeaked in surprise as he yanked her into his lap, laughing and squirming against him. He smiled and just held onto her, resting his head on her shoulder blade, and just breathed her in. He wished that he could make this moment last forever, he didn't want to let her go--not ever.
"Jack!" she giggled, trying in vain to pry his hand from her waist. "Come on now!"
"Mmmmmm," he growled playfully and wrapped his other arm around her, leaning back on his wall.
She giggled and struggled playfully, prying his fingers up and he just laced their hands together. She growled, giving up her fight, and collapsed back against him, pouting.
Jackie boy, he reminded, you're not going out with her. . .she's starting to trust you. . .do you really wanna risk fucking everything up?
"OK, Jack," she struggled for real, "seriously, let go."
"Sorry. . ." he whispered, releasing her. "I- - -don't know what that was. . .I apologize, Lock."
Flirting on a whole new level. . .Dammit! I need to watch how I act! I don't know what those other boys from her past did. . .I don't know how they fucking started it. . .be fucking careful!
She got off the bed and looked at him. Her ghost eyes regarded him nervously, watching his movements carefully, and he felt shame strangle him. He dropped his head, bringing his knees up, and rested on them. A hand touched his hair, running through it, and then stopped on his cheek. Slowly, he looked at her, feeling like an idiot, and she caressed his face with her thumb.
"I'm sorry, Lock. . .I probably just reminded you of Kett or somethin'. . ." he whispered.
"Oh, Jackie," she actually laughed. "You could never remind me of Kett. . .I blame what just happened on your hormones."
He laughed, felt somewhat better, and held her eyes with his. She smirked and gave him a hug, her face in his neck, and gave his nose a brief kiss when she pulled back.
"C'mon, we're gonna catch hell for sure now," she smiled.
"Fuck. . ." he muttered, getting up and grabbing a T-shirt. "This'll be fun. . ."
She snickered and went downstairs, making a face at Bobby as she passed. Jack slowly went downstairs, knowing how people who have snuck in their boyfriend or girlfriend into their room felt when they got caught, and felt his face burn. Bobby pulled him aside, dragging him into the laundry room, and shut the door.
Hell. . .here we go. . .
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Bobby looked at his little brother as he leaned against the dryer, Jack's eyes on the floor, and his face covered in a light blush. Ma had asked Bobby to talk to him, they knew it was only to help Stray sleep last night, but they thought a talk would be a good idea.
Bobby understood completely when Lock had told him why she was sharing a bed with Jack, the girl had even offered to go to her own room, but Bobby told her to get some sleep. He knew Stray wouldn't fuck Jack, even if she was crushing on the kid--Lock was no Sofi, thank God!
"We didn't do anything, Bobby," Jack mumbled.
"I know that, you fairy," he laughed, hopping up onto the washer. "But Ma still wants me to talk to you."
"She pissed?" he still stared a hole in the floor.
"Nope, neither am I."
Jack shifted nervously and still looked away from him. Bobby grinned and shook his head, Jackie was such a dork sometimes.
"We just don't want that turning into a habit, understand? Things have a way of happening, even if you honestly believe they never will. . .Self-control is a tricky bitch. . ."
Am I really having this conversation with Cracker Jack? Man, talk about awkward . . .I need a drink. . .or a smoke. . .shit. . .
"Bobby," Jack finally looked at him, a faint smirk on his mouth. "Is this your version of the sex talk?"
"Hey," Bobby laughed, "this is the girl/guy version, not the guy/guy version! I guess we kinda missed that one, huh?"
"Fuck off," Jack relaxed, laughing.
"Seriously, Jack," Bobby got serious again. "I don't want you slippin' and end up doin' something you'll regret. . .Stray trusts you. . .Don't jeopardize that."
"Wow, big words and everything!" Jack laughed.
"Watch it, you little queer!" he grumbled, trying to look pissed, failing with a huge smile.
"Bobby? Can I tell you something?"
"Go ahead."
"I really like her. . .I mean like. . .wow!" he blushed and looked at his feet. "But I'm afraid I'm gonna fuck somethin' up. . . ."
"Why would you be afraid of that, Jackie?"
"I keep having slight slips. . ."
"You better explain, Jack."
"Right," Jack took a deep breath. "Last night I kissed her again, at the bar. . .I don't know why. . . .then this morning I pulled her into my lap. . .I don't know what's wrong with me! I'm turning into those fuck heads from my past!" he started to sob.
"Jack Mercer!" Bobby leapt down and pulled the boy close. "Don't you ever, ever fucking think that! EVER! You are not those guys! Do you hear me!"
"But. . .Bobby. . ."
"No," he interrupted. "You're a teenage boy, Cracker Jack. That's why you keep doing that shit, having your little slips. . .Everyone does, get me? You stop when she wants. . .Do you think if you were turning into those ass holes from your past that you'd do that?"
Jack stayed quiet and clung to Bobby, letting his pent up emotions out. Bobby rubbed his back, feeling so bad for the teen, so heartbroken.
"She'd kill me if I went too far, right? She'd stop me?" Jack was almost begging.
"Jackie boy," Bobby said firmly. "Lock won't have to stop you, you're a good kid. You stop on your own."
"But what if I don't, Bobby!" he was in a panic. "What if I can't stop?"
"Jack," he held the boy at arms length and looked into his eyes. "The fact that you worry so much about it tells me that you won't ever do that to her. Do you see that, kiddo?"
"I guess. . ." he muttered, wiping his face. "I'm still scared, Bobby. . ."
"Good," he embraced the teen, "that means you'll watch yourself around Stray."
"Bobby?" he mumbled.
"What, Jackie?"
"I don't want to eat right now. . .not with everyone. . ."
"I figured. Go on and take a shower or somethin, A'ight?"
"All right. . .Thanks, Bobby," he let go of him.
"Hey. . ."
"What?" Jack was to the door and turned.
"Love you, you lil fairy bitch," Bobby grinned.
"Love you too, you major fuck," Jack smirked.
"Never forget that," he followed Jack out.
"I won't," he bounded up the steps and into the bathroom.
Now, on to my breakfast. . .he went into the dining room.
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Lock hummed as she messed with her camera, she was planning on taking some shots of the Mercers. She snuck upstairs and saw Bobby on the couch, watching a hockey game and drinking a beer.
Got 'cha, she smirked, raising the camera.
"Stray!" he laughed when the flash went off.
"What? I need some pictures."
"For what?"
"That's a secret," she smiled.
"Uh huh," he rolled his eyes. "Why don't you wait until later and take some of a pick up game?"
"I'll do that too," she snapped another shot of him giving her a look. "I've got plenty of film."
"Terrific," Jack said sarcastically from the banister.
"Isn't it?" she took a quick shot of him before he looked away.
"I thought y'all were doin' the band thing today," Bobby muttered, swigging his beer.
"Can't. . .Coop and Connor couldn't make it," she said, sitting in the recliner and leaning back.
"Yank!" Jack laughed, stealing the camera.
She glared at him as he raised it and took a picture. Bobby laughed and sat on the arm of the chair as Jack snapped another one.
"I'm stealing this for a while," Jack grinned. "And I'm gonna take some pictures of you when you least expect it!"
"Goody," she growled, sticking her tongue out.
He stuck his tongue out in return, taking another picture, then sat cross-legged on the floor beside her, and watched the game. She stared at the TV, not really paying attention to the game, and her mind kept replaying the night before: the kiss, the nightmares, and then sleeping in Jack's room.
I'm getting comfortable here. . . .Too comfortable maybe. . .Fuck! What in the hell am I doing! She battled with herself mentally. Don't I fucking remember what the other boys did? They all started out innocent too--look how that turned out.
Suddenly, she got up and went to her room, locking the bottom door, and fell on her bed. Memories washed over her, she closed her teary eyes and rode them out.
'Lock, give me your hand. . .' a boy said, taking her nine-year-old hand and placing it between his legs. 'That's it. . .Do like I showed you. . .Harder, Lock. . .Faster. . .ooohhh. . .'
She growled and rolled over, burying her face in her pillow, and her hands clenched up. More memories kept coming, making her feel physically sick.
'Come here, you little bitch!' an older boy from the last home yelled. 'I'll fucking teach you to tell me no! On your knees!'
'Have you ever kissed someone, sweetie?' a teen boy from an earlier home asked. 'I mean with tongue? No? Good, come here. . .Lemme show you how. . .'
She screamed into her pillow, trying to make the phantoms go away, and sobbed. Why of all times did they come back now?
'Lock. . .' a boy panted. 'Oh, Lock! Don't stop. . . .Good. . . .girl. . .stay put! You swallow all of it!'
She roared in rage and flailed on the bed, punching the mattress and pillows, screaming and finally sobbing.
"Stray?" Bobby pounded on the door, worried--terrified. "Stray, open this door!"
"Bobby, give me a second," she snapped, wiping her face.
"No, now!" he commanded, pounding again. "Lock, are you all right?"
"Fine," she growled, unlocking the door. "Just motherfucking peachy!"
"Stray," he opened the door and looked her over. "Oh, hell, Stray. . . .Memories?"
"Don't fucking touch me!" she barked, flinching away from his hand when he trued to touch her shoulder. "Just stay away, Bobby."
"All right," he held his hands up and took a few steps back. "I'm away, Lock. Now, are you all right?"
"No," she whimpered, furiously wiping tears that were falling again. "And I never will be 'all right'."
"Stray. . .please. . .let me help you," he pleaded.
"Bobby," she whispered, "you can't help me. Not with this. . ."
She saw Jackie hovering around the bottom step, biting his lip nervously, and not knowing what to do. Lock trembled and backed away from the boys.
"Leave me alone!" she growled.
"Fine," Bobby was defeated, going up the steps.
"Bobby!" Jack hissed. "You can't just abandon her like this!"
Please don't go! her mind pleaded. Please! Come back. . .hug me, hold me. . .comfort me. . .Tell me I'll be OK. . .
"She wants to be left alone, Jack," Bobby muttered. "Come on."
Bobby went the rest of the way upstairs, shutting the top door, and Lock felt Jack still in the stairwell. She fell back against the wall, sliding to the floor, and covered her face.
You bastards! her instinct shrieked. I thought you were different! I thought. . .I could get close. . .trust you. . .
Arms were around her, pulling her close. She didn't resist, the familiar scent making it all okay, and clung to Jack. He rubbed her back, head resting on hers, and suddenly, the top door opened and Bobby tore down the stairs.
"Stray," he collapsed to his knees, wrapping his arms around her as well. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to abandon you! I fucked up!"
She stayed facing Jackie, but let Bobby know she forgave him by touching his strong arm. Bobby shifted, moving close behind her, head resting on the shoulder opposite Jack, and just held her. She cried, but now from sweet relief rather than anger and sorrow. They were different.
They won't abandon me. . .won't give up. . .They do care. . Hell, I care about them. . .she thought, drifting off, the emotional tidal wave had made her exhausted.