A/N:
Look ma, a shiny new summary!
Katara knows something is up because she keeps stealing Zuko's letters to Sokka and then keeping them under her pillow.
At first she sums it up to curiosity. It was natural to wonder what going on back in the Fire Nation.
But then she realizes that no, it's not about curiosity.
She misses Zuko. Even though he's a bonehead.
Katara thinks she likes the Fire Nation better than the Earth Kingdom. Not that the Earth Kingdom isn't nice, because it is. There's just something missing.
Right now she's visiting Jet (Sokka is chaperoning, of course). In a couple of weeks she'll have to make the decision to either go to the Fire Nation for the summer or go back home to the South Pole.
As of right now Katara has no idea what she's going to do. Sokka has announced that he'll be in the Fire Nation. Well, good for him.
She stares at all of Zuko's letters that he's sent her that are sitting on her bedside table.
So far she's refused to open them. She thinks she might be afraid to.
They sit in silence.
Katara remembers when they first started dating. They had never been quiet with each other. Someone has always been saying something.
It's different now.
Jet is reading something and growing more irritated by the second. Must be something political, Katara guesses. When it comes to politics he's always up in arms about something or another.
She, however, is just sitting there.
"Shouldn't you be packing?" Jet finally drawls, head still bent over the scroll that he's reading.
She jumps a little bit, before sighing. "I don't know. Why?"
"Aren't you supposed to be going back to the Fire Nation in a couple of days? Your brother won't shut the hell up about it." He tosses the scroll to the side and leans back in his chair. He crosses his arms over his chest and levels his gaze at her.
"I said that I didn't know," she answers, growing irritated herself.
"What's in the Fire Nation for you anyway?" He scoots his chair back and then props his feet up on his desk.
Katara frowns. She's thought over this too. "Well, Azula is one of my closest friends and it'd be nice to see her."
Jet blinks, clearly not convinced. "I'm sure that's not the only reason."
He's egging her on, she knows this. He's been doing this for the past few weeks now, ever since she mentioned that she might be returning to the Fire Nation for the summer. It's like he's trying to get her to admit something.
She narrows her eyes at him. "Doesn't matter if it isn't. It's a good reason."
There's a beat.
"Apparently Sokka's letters from the illustrious Prince Zuko keep disappearing." He inspects his fingernails, feigning nonchalance.
Katara freezes.
He looks backs up at her. "Funny, I didn't know you were a magician, Katara, since you're the one making them vanish." Then he smirks.
Katara would like nothing more than to throw something at him. Preferably something large and bulky. But then she reminds herself that Jet always covers up his insecurities and negative emotions with smirks and arrogance. It is just what he does.
"Jet—"
"If you want to talk to him so badly, why don't you just write him back? It's not like he doesn't want to talk to you. He writes you all the damn time."
She glances down at her lap before shrugging one shoulder. "I'm still angry with him."
"For giving me a black eye?" She can hear the aggravation in his voice. "I did bust his lip, you know. We were even."
"For being an idiot and for being insensitive. And why does it matter to you? It's not like it has anything to do with us."
Jet's mouth falls open incredulously. Then he rolls his eyes and stands up. "You hide his letters under your pillow, Katara. And they're not even your letters! And you have your own, too!"
"It's just—I—"
He waves her off, but she still catches the somewhat defeated look on his face. "Save it for someone who cares." Then he walks out of the room, slamming the door behind him.
Katara feels terrible.
She decides that Jet deserves better, especially since he still comes with her to the dock and tells her goodbye before she boards a ship for the Fire Nation.
He's not there at the dock. He knew she was coming and yet he's not there.
Katara is fuming already.
He should on his feet at the bottom of the ramp, groveling.
"What's with you?" Sokka asks, giving her a funny look over his shoulder as he starts to walk down the ramp.
"Nothing," she spits, moving to follow him.
She sulks during the entire journey to the palace.
Really, wasn't he supposed to be seeking her forgiveness? He should have been there. Katara isn't sure what bothers her more—the fact that he didn't care enough to meet her at the dock or the fact that she's even bothered in the first place.
She starts to feel the fluttering in her stomach when they move onto palace grounds. She wonders how different he'll look compared to last summer, if his hair is long again (she kind of hopes it isn't) or whether or not he's gotten any taller (he already looms over her).
Then she berates herself for even feeling that way.
When she and Sokka walk inside Azula is waiting for them with a small smile.
"Glad both of you managed to make it," she says, crossing her arms over her chest. She gives them both quick hugs (Azula has never been a touchy feely kind of person), and then she smirks at something stupid that Sokka says.
Katara peers around Azula, hoping that maybe she'll see him standing a little ways behind his sister, or leaning against the wall.
He isn't.
He's nowhere in sight.
Did Zuko fall asleep?
Katara is livid now. She takes in a sharp breath and pouts.
Azula gestures for Sokka to come with her (something to do with arrows), but when Katara makes to follow them the princess holds up her hand, indicating Katara to stop.
"You're wanted in the dining room," she states.
Katara blinks. "Oh."
Azula turns her face away, hiding her smile, before shoving Sokka in front of her.
Katara puts her bags down on the floor, knowing that a servant will take care of them, and makes her way to the dining room.
Beautiful images flash through her mind, images of elegant food, a lovely table set up, and Zuko practically hand feeding her as he begs for her everlasting forgiveness.
She smiles. This would be fun.
But when she walks into the dining room, he isn't there.
Katara's hands clench into fists and she lets out a shrill squeal of irritation.
He's asking for it.
The table is bare and the chairs are skewed about. She sits down in one and crosses her legs, glaring at the tapestry hanging on the opposite wall.
She sits there for a full ten minutes.
Ten minutes.
She's about to get up and head off to her bedroom when she hears it: a long stream of cursing. And then a crash.
She glances to her right where there's a door leading to the kitchens and for the first time wonders if Zuko might be on the other side, in the kitchens.
She immediately stands up and struts over to the door and shoves it open with more force than necessary.
Zuko is bent over a stove, attempting and failing to stop liquid from erupting out of a pan and onto the floor. Swearing, he grabs handfuls of towels and throws them on top of the pan.
Then the towels light on fire.
"Fuck!"
He whirls around, eyes wide, probably searching for water when he notices her for the first time. He freezes and instantly straightens.
"Katara! You're…here!"
She raises an eyebrow and tilts her head to the side. "Uh huh."
Zuko's eyes widen even more and his mouth keeps opening and closing, as if he's searching for the right words to say. "I may have lost track of time," he finally says.
The flames behind Zuko's head are growing and the prince seems too dumbfounded to do anything, so Katara bends water from a sink and splashes it over the fire. There's a loud rush of steam and then Zuko is coughing and waving a hand in front of his face.
"What on earth are you doing in here?" Katara asks, walking forward and surveying the cluttered countertops and dirty utensils, evidence of Zuko's disastrous attempts at cooking.
Zuko looks properly embarrassed. "I was making you dinner," he mumbles.
Katara shakes her head before peering at a blackened lump sitting on a plate on top one of the counters. "What's that?"
And then Zuko is right at her shoulder. "It's fish." She can hear the annoyance in his voice.
She picks up a nearby chopstick and pokes it. "Are you sure?"
"Yes," he huffs. Then he pauses. "Or at least, it was when I started."
Katara quickly purses her lips so that she won't laugh and continues to walk around the kitchen. She glances into the pan to find charred clumps.
"That's rice. Or…it was rice."
She sees a couple of what looks like vegetables scattered about on the floor.
"Chopping them turned out to be harder than I expected."
Then she finds something that might actually be edible. Or, at least, it looks that way. "What's that?" she asks curiously, pointing to it.
Zuko is by her side again. "Oh, um, that's this chocolate custard thing that I made. I was kind of experimenting. You don't have to—"
Katara swipes her finger along the top of the custard and pops it into her mouth before Zuko can finish his sentence.
Her eyes widen in shock. It's actually tasty.
"If you spit it out I won't be offended." He rubs the back of his neck and gives her a sheepish look.
She picks up the bowl of custard and pushes it in his direction. "Try it."
For a moment he looks legitimately fearful before he grabs a spoon and tastes it.
He swallows and blinks. "Oh. Well that's a surprise."
Katara snorts before clearing a spot on the countertop and sitting up on top of it. She grabs at the custard that's still in Zuko's hands.
"Give me my custard."
He gives her a half smile before taking a step back. "Your custard?"
"Yep," she swipes at his head before grabbing at the custard again, nearly toppling off the counter in the process.
"Careful," Zuko says, quickly placing a hand on her knee to balance her. She stiffens and to her mortification she can feel her cheeks begin to heat up.
He places the custard on the counter by her hip and takes a step back, glancing up at her nervously.
She straightens her shoulders and picks up the custard before digging in. She thinks if she stuffs her mouth full of food then she'll have an excuse not to speak.
After a long stretch of neither of them talking she can no longer stand the silence. Finally she stops eating for a moment. "Is this why you weren't at the dock today?" She gestures to the entire kitchen with her spoon, indicating Zuko's misshapen cooking adventures.
He grimaces. "The plan was to have dinner cooked in time to meet you at the dock and then escort you back to the palace. The plan did not work."
Katara gives him a small smile. "I can see that." She eats another spoonful of custard before shrugging her shoulders. "Dessert for dinner is nice, though."
He perks up at this hopefully. "Well, that's good."
She nods. It becomes quiet again.
Finishing her dessert she sets the bowl to the side before hopping off the counter. She clears her throat and twiddles her thumbs. "I'm going to head to my room now."
Zuko looks disappointed, but he quickly nods. "O-Okay."
"Thanks for the attempt at dinner."
She's almost out of the kitchen when she hears him call her name.
She looks back over her shoulder, trying to ignore the tightening in her stomach. "Yes?"
He takes a breath and meets her eyes. "I'm really, really happy that you're here."
She smiles at him before letting the door close behind her.
Zuko is trying very hard to get back in her good graces, but Katara just can't quite let him off the hook.
Mostly because it's fun to have him happily attend to her every beck and call.
Today, though, she has decided to be nicer to him.
They're taking a stroll down the hallway with their wolves. It's unbearably hot out today, so they've both opted to stay inside.
They pick up a conversation here and there, and they talk about anything and everything in-between. Katara had not realized how much she had missed this; their friendship. This relationship is nice, she thinks, a relationship where they remain friends, where they remain uncomplicated. But when she dwells on this she always starts to feel hollow, so she'd rather think about something else, like how Zuko has only grown his hair to the length where he can wear his crown and not any longer. Or how he's got nice muscles.
Yep. Zuko has nice muscles.
Katara suspects that this is because he trains with his bending and sword fighting rigorously. In fact, on more than one occasion Katara has watched his firebending sessions.
Zuko probably thinks it's because Katara is curious about sword fighting. Zuko would be wrong.
Zuko trains without a shirt on, you see. But Katara believes that Zuko can think whatever he wants.
"Did you hear that?" Zuko asks, looking around with furrowed eyebrows.
"No—" Katara begins, but then she hears it too—a moan.
She and Zuko turn to grin at each other before practically climbing over the other in order to get to the door that the moans seem to be coming from. Katara gets there first (although she can feel Zuko's chest pressed into her back) and shoves open the door.
Sokka and Azula are making out.
Zuko lets out a gagging noise, causing the couple to spring apart.
Sokka immediately flings up his hands and bites his swollen lip. Then he points an accusing finger at Azula. "She kissed me."
Azula promptly hits him in the shoulder. "You enjoyed it!" she hisses.
Sokka stands there for a moment before he finally sticks out his chin. "Yes. Yes I did."
Zuko reaches around Katara and slowly closes the door.
"I'm not really surprised."
The sun is setting and they're sitting on the balcony in Zuko's room, enjoying sticky rice balls and soup.
Chewing, Zuko gives her an inquisitive look before swallowing. "Really?"
Katara nods, manipulating her soup so that it swirls around in her bowl. "Yeah. I mean, Sokka sort of takes whatever he can get, and Azula happens to be really pretty. Not that he's lowering his standards for her or anything!" she says quickly.
Zuko merely smiles at her. "Azula's pretty possessive of him; she's been that way for years." He pauses. "Actually it really isn't all that surprising."
She laughs and he grins, both finishing their meal in companionable silence. Finally Zuko sets his empty dishes to the side. Their knees are almost touching. Katara feels like she's been here before.
Zuko lets out a small sigh and scoots back an inch or two, causing Katara to frown.
"We should go to bed soon," he says. Then he backtracks. "Or, I mean, go to our separate rooms…"
It must be the way the moonlight is hitting the right side of Zuko's face, Katara thinks. Because suddenly she doesn't want to get up and leave. She wants to stay right here. With him.
She bites her lip and leans in a little bit. She can hear Zuko's sharp intake of breath. "Let's stay up," she insists.
Zuko's eye, the one that's being hit by the moonlight, not the one cast in shadow, widens a little bit. "Like, as in all night?"
Katara had only been thinking of a few hours, but Zuko's idea is much more appealing. She nods eagerly. "Yeah! It'll be fun!"
He looks at her as if she's crazy. Then finally he shifts slightly, almost as if he's uncomfortable. "Alright."
She grins and stands up quickly before holding her hand out for him.
"Okay, now put your hand on it."
Katara obeys. "Now what?"
"Grasp it firmly—yeah, like that."
"Okay. Where do I put my foot?"
"We'll worry about that in a second. Now move your other hand and put it—there! Perfect! Make sure you gave a good grip—"
"I do. Now where do I put my foot?" she huffs.
She doesn't have to look up to know that Zuko is rolling his eyes. "Honestly, Katara, you're the one who's making this hard."
Zuko is trying to teach Katara how to climb the tree in the center of the garden. So far Katara has not even made it onto the first branch. On the contrary, Zuko is already several branches up into the tree, and if it wasn't for the flame he had burning in his left palm she wouldn't be able to see him.
"Or maybe you're just secretly half monkey!" she hisses before wincing in pain. "I think I got a splinter," she whines.
Then Zuko is easily making his way back down through the tree until he's perched on the first branch.
He holds out his hand. "I'll haul you up."
She glares at him, wanting nothing more than to refuse, but then how else will she get up into this stupid tree?
She grabs his hand. It's warm and rough against her own, and for a moment she thinks about how nice it feels.
Then there's a rush of air and then she's sitting on top of the first branch, with the grass below her and Zuko once again a couple of branches above her.
She takes a moment to get used to her newfound height. It's peaceful up here, she decides. She wonders how often Zuko comes out to sit up here.
"How did you get so good at climbing trees anyway?"
She looks up to see Zuko watching her intently. He shrugs. "Sokka and I climbed a lot when we were kids. What'd you do?"
She grinned. "I ripped up flower beds with Azula."
He returns her grin, amused.
After a beat Katara pats the spot beside her. "You can come sit next to me…if you want."
Zuko looks as if he would like nothing more to sit next to her, but shakes his head instead. "No. I'm not positive if that branch will hold both of us."
Katara frowns. The branch looks sturdy enough to her.
They're walking through the gardens in order to get back to the palace when a fireball whizzes past her ear.
She whirls around, shocked. "Hey!"
Zuko's mouth falls open before he slowly turns and looks over his shoulder, exaggerating his movements. "Agni, there must be a firebender around or somethi—"
She sends a splash of water right at his head. He splutters and coughs before glaring at her, hair clinging to his face.
They both move at the same time.
At first it's a bending match, but then it turns into more hand to hand combat, with Katara giggling uncontrollably and Zuko easily evading her rather halfhearted punches and kicks.
Then he's grabbed her wrist and pulled her close, and suddenly Katara is filled with nervous excitement because this is a different kind of game.
She stares up into his face and he stares back. There's an intensity there that she's only caught a few times before, but she surprises herself by not feeling afraid of it. Instead she relishes in it. This is something new and she's quite willing to explore it.
Then Zuko's hold on her wrist relaxes and he quickly takes a couple of steps back. "You know what sounds awesome right now? Tea. Tea sounds awesome." Then he's turning and marching into the palace and Katara wonders if she did something wrong.
Katara thinks it's too hot to drink tea, even if it's night time. So she freezes part of her drink so that it's cold. When she offers this to Zuko he shakes his head.
Their silence has turned from companionable to awkward and Katara desperately wants things to be fun again.
"Remember when we were kids and we would draw and make things?"
Zuko has barely even sipped his tea. He looks up at her, confused. "Yeah. Why?"
"We should do something like that!"
He raises a disbelieving eyebrow.
"Why is yours better than mine?"
Katara looks over at Zuko's handiwork. "Maybe it's because I can sew and you can't?"
Zuko grumbles furiously at his puppet.
Katara has no idea how she's managed to coax him into this, but she finds it extremely amusing that she was able to.
She never thought she would see Zuko sew, much less make a doll.
Puppets, Zuko had corrected her, we're making puppets. Katara has no idea what these things will be used for, but it was more interactive than drawing. Plus dolls (puppets) were cute.
Zuko is having a lot of trouble stitching up the side of his. Some of the stuffing starts to come out.
Zuko leans back and huffs. "My innards are spilling."
Rolling her eyes, Katara reaches out and grabs Zuko's puppet before starting to stitch it up herself. Meanwhile, Zuko grabs up more cloth and a pair of scissors.
"What are you doing?" Katara asks with interest.
Zuko looks at her incredulously. "I'm making my puppet a sword." Then he bends over and starts to carefully cut into the fabric with his scissors.
Katara snorts. "I didn't know we were going to accessorize."
Zuko looks up at her and glares. "This is not an accessory. This is a weapon." He shakes his head and grumbles something under his breath.
Silence settles between them again, and this time it is neither companionable nor awkward.
"So are you ever going to let me off the hook?" Zuko asks softly. He has stopped working on his puppet's sword and is staring down at his hands.
There's a twinge in her chest and for a moment Katara feels guilty. "Zuko, I'm not angry with you anymore. Not really."
He immediately looks up at her and the hope in his gaze makes her feel even worse. "Really?"
She nods. "What happened with Jet… That was bad. And you were in the wrong," she says firmly. "But that was a while ago and Jet and I aren't together anymore anyway. We can put it behind us."
Zuko nods slowly before looking away from her.
Katara thinks that maybe that's the end of that discussion.
"Why didn't you ever return my letters?"
Katara freezes and dread churns in her stomach. Her heartbeat picks up and suddenly the room they're in is much hotter than it had been a moment ago.
"I was afraid," she admits.
In truth, she thinks that she forgave him when he kept writing to her, despite the fact that she never answered.
"Why?"
The tension in the room picks up as they stare at each other and Katara wonders what would happen if she was honest to both him and herself.
She reaches out and brushes some of his unruly hair away from his eyes. When she pulls her hand away her fingertips trace his scar.
He doesn't flinch or pull away like she had been afraid that he would. Instead his chest starts heaving and after a long moment and looks away.
"Do we have red paint?" he asks out of the blue.
"What?" For a moment she's thunderstruck because that seems like such an odd and random thing to say.
"My puppet needs his scar," he reasons.
Zuko tells her that the sun is close to rising, so he walks her back to her room.
Nukka is lying by the door and she looks up and eyes them when they approach.
Speaking has suddenly become too much for both of them, and when they finally reach Katara's door she turns around and looks up at him, completely unsure of what's next.
He takes a step towards her, so she takes a step towards him.
She's almost lightheaded with anticipation and she feels as if she might shatter if he doesn't reach out and touch her.
But then he slides a step back. "Erm. Goodnight."
Katara nearly growls in frustration. This clueless dumbass!
She darts forward, grabs his face, and slams her lips against his.
The kiss is more painful then pleasurable, mostly because their teeth have knocked together and she's pretty sure that Zuko has bit her bottom lip by accident.
But that's okay, because a moment later he snakes his arms around her waist and practically lifts Katara off of her feet as he returns the kiss with passionate enthusiasm.
Things are different after that, and yet they are the same.
They're different because now instead of playing ice discs with the wolves in the garden, Zuko backs her against the garden wall and kisses her until she's dizzy. He's a good kisser too, she decides. He's quite good with his tongue.
They're the same because Katara's secrets still spill out whenever she's around him, just like they always have.
They're different because she feels as if these secrets are now Zuko's too, like they are sharing, like they are one.
They're the same because Katara suspects that things have always been this way, she just never realized it.
Katara thinks that maybe she's always loved Zuko. She was just too young to understand it.
"You're dating my brother."
"Any you're dating mine."
"We're weird."
She leaves in two days. It has always been painful every year, knowing that she had to go, but this time the hurt aches and pulses throughout her body, and she's sure she'll crumple and collapse into herself when she has to depart back to the South Pole.
She can't quite remember how they ending up in his bedroom. They have made it a point to avoid bedrooms all summer. Bedrooms could potentially be a bad.
He has her up against his bedpost, clever hands running along the length of her torso. She squirms and hums deliciously whenever his fingers skim over the sides of her breasts.
"Zuko…" she gasps, and he smirks, way too pleased with himself. He pushes forward, trying to get as close to her as possible, all the while placing open mouthed kisses along the soft skin of her neck. He grinds his hips against hers and she moans at the sensation.
But this is always as far as they go.
It's not like they haven't talked about it, because they definitely have. And it's not like Katara is opposed to the idea, because she definitely isn't.
Katara would love to see Zuko naked, frankly. She'd love to touch him and explore his body, to see what she can make him do. She fantasizes about it, actually, like most teenage girls. Thing is, Katara isn't sure if she's ready for Zuko to see her naked, and that, she thinks, is what makes all the difference.
But Zuko prefers for them to always be on equal ground, so he doesn't want to reap the benefits of Katara's curiosity when he can't turn it back to her tenfold. Katara pouts, but thinks that's fair enough.
This making out and heavy petting is quite fun, anyway.
Finally Zuko starts to pull away, trailing his lips up from her neck, along her cheek, and finally to her temple.
Katara doesn't know if she can survive months without this, without him.
Tears fill her eyes and she starts to sniff. Zuko gives her a look of alarm before he moves closer and gently cups her face. "Katara?"
"I don't think I can stand being away from you for months," she says, blinking furiously in an attempt to fight off her tears. "I don't want to."
He bites his lip and searches her face before he breaks out into a wide grin. "Well, you won't have to."
She can feel her eyes widen. "What?"
He suddenly looks very excited. "I'm coming to the South Pole in four months, maybe three. I figured it was high time—"
She throws her arms around his next and they resume their making out and heavy petting.
The South Pole is colder then she remembers. Katara suspects that she has gotten used to the warmer climates of the Earth Kingdom and the Fire Nation. She wraps her parka around her tighter. She'll have to toughen up. Winter is coming.
She grins when she sees Hakoda. Her father hasn't come with them to the Fire Nation for the past couple of years. He insists that she and Sokka are old enough to go by themselves now.
Katara is slightly disheartened when Hakoda doesn't return her welcoming grin.
"Katara," he says gravely. "I need to talk to you. It's important."
A/N:
I giggled way more than necessary at the kind-of-but-not-really reference to Game of Thrones at the end there. I'm such a dork.
WHAT DOES HAKODA WANT TO TALK TO KATARA ABOUT, HMM? Guess we'll have to find out next time ;)
In other news, yes, Katara and Zuko finally stopped being stupid. Took them long enough, am I right?
Hope everyone liked this chapter! Please please please review and let me know what you thought (and that goes for you too, Awkward Lurkers!)
:D