me-ladie - Yeah. Not only should one pay their respects to Frank Gorshin, but I believe Mr. Burgess Meredith deserves a lot of love for his portrayal of the Penguin. I may or may not have had a slight crush on him as a child...yes, the Penguin. You heard me. Don't judge. ^_^ Seriously, don't let me tell you about the man, look him up. He was a pretty cool guy. Also, he was in Grumpy Old Men and Grumpier Old Men, which were pretty good movies...*nerd* *sigh* Also, Rocky...I guess...if I have to include it...*grumbles something about boxing not being as good as a movie about old men who are grumpy*

Robot521 - People are much easier to manage when they're out cold. *shifty eyes* I'd imagine. *clears throat*

NURSE J0Y - Hey, shouldn't you be out writing more awesome Riddler/Catwomen fics instead of reviewing this old turd? LOL!

laal ratty - I agree. Batman does have very black and white thinking when it comes to things such as villains being redeemed etc. I always found he was pretty set on the whole thing. Plus he's Batman, he can't understand shades of grey. It's why him and Lina would have never worked.

Violeta27 - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You dolt you missed all the subtle clues... (It's okay she's muh friend!) But seriously Vi, I love ya! Let me try this... *cwtch* Is...is that right? *feels like a dolt as well* Also, I kind of love Harley. She's pretty upbeat for a villain, which is kind of a refreshing change. I just hate that punk she hangs out with...

JannaKalderash - In response to your PM, I shall share this with the world because it was a good point. Janna pointed out that I said something about Frank Gorshin and the Riddler's suit in regards to the old Batman movie. I can't say if I'm wrong for certain (I usually am), all I can say is this. The movie was in talks before the first season started, but wasn't actually filmed until the point in between the first and second seasons. I can't recall if he actually wore a suit in the pilot because I haven't watched the old show in years or if he brought the subject up during the talks for the film or show, but if it's important to everyone else go and look into it, I'm sick and lazy. Just don't be a know-it-all jerk and neener neener at me in the reviews if I'm mistaken. A gentle correction is always kind. (I swear, with my fever boiled mind if I get one neener neener I will kill the Riddler and all things you love in this story!) *shakes head* Whoa, just blacked out there...what happened? Anyways, thank you Janna for bringing this up. I wouldn't be able to sleep at night if something like that had gone un-noted, it is fairly important. If I'm wrong, I apologize for offending anyone. If I'm right? Meh.

rockpunk92 - Your review seriously made me laugh for ten minutes. 'Oh Eddie you sly boy. Dont you know nothing in Gotham is safe? Not even Selina's womb!' That part. Right there. Comic gold.

bleedy - I'm sorry I write so fast. I can slow it down if you want. Put out a chapter a month or something...^_^ But in all seriousness, the Joker is a jerk. I have no soft spot in my heart for him. Could be because he's the main villain and has been done to death. You kind of get sick of that kind of thing. (Hey, Hollywood, enough Joker, huh?)

9aza - Embrace the Lina/Eddie pairing...you know you want to. All the cool kids are. With the exception of myself (who'll never be cool no matter how many pairs of sunglasses I put on and take off) and that poor sucker in that country who doesn't love me. (You broke my heart, Sweden.)

I felt like a psycho-killer (qu'est-ce que c'est) looking up how long chloroform takes to wear off and what the side effects are. So enjoy this chapter while the FBI looks into my background...I hope it was worth it...

Chapter Thirteen: BatRiddler & Poison Harley

Day Nineteen: Part Three

**Fries**

"Well, I can't keep my mouth shut this time." He said, watching as Ivy strung the young Harley Quinn up by her vines in the back of the greenhouse.

Ivy ignored him, working feverishly to bind and conceal the young clown.

In his arms his son wiggled and babbled gleefully.

"I mean, really Pamela, this is a bad idea."

"I don't care." She growled.

"You're raiding the Joker's factory in two hours. Don't you think that when the others arrive, they'll find her?"

"That's why I'm hiding her, Fries." She replied. "Unless someone rats me out?"

Victor held his free hand up innocently, the other thickly gloved hand holding his son to his chest.

Commanding her plants to grow in thick around the blonde clown, Ivy moved out of the brush with Fries at her heels.

"Don't you think they'll notice her missing when the dust settles? She is Crane's sole reason for heading into this fracas." He said.

"To hell with Crane!" She snarled, turning on him. "He had his chance to protect her! Now it's my turn and I'll do it by killing that smiling son of a bitch!"

In his arms Victor junior wriggled and began to mewl in discontent at his mother's tone.

Fries wrapped his both of his arms around his boy to calm him.

"Everyone has their reasons, don't they?" He said. "You want the Joker dead and so does Crane, Edward has a wounded pride to repair with revenge and I'm looking out for the best interests of my son. But what about Harley? She's a grown woman. Hasn't anyone ever cared what she really wants?"

"She's sick, she doesn't know what she wants."

"We're all a little sick in the head, Pamela. Why do you think we do what we do?"

"Yeah, and the Joker's the sickest one of us all. He needs to die. You can't go anywhere in Gotham without him blowing it up in your face or shooting wildly at it. We all have our moments, but lately his have been sporadic and ultra-violent. When a dog becomes mad, you put him down."

"And you're putting him down, because he's a threat to the innocence of Gotham or because he's a threat to your love life?"

With a sharp glare, the woman turned and marched off into the leaves of her homegrown jungle. Leaving Doctor Fries to stare after her in monk-like silence.

**Edward**

He checked his pocket watch.

It was five minutes past eight. Time to prepare.

All day he had saved his energy. He wasn't so vain that he thought he could take on the Joker as casually as he used to take on the Bat. In his soon-to-be early middle age, he was beginning to feel that a good fight should come after a long nap.

Crane bitched and griped the whole time Edward lounged in his lair, but the Scarecrow be damned, he was resting up in a space that wasn't the size of a Chinese take-out box.

Slipping out of the chair, Edward adjusted his long form as he rose.

Across the lair from him Crane's pale eyes flickered up from his book.

"Is it time?"

"Yes."

With a sick grin, the skinny man rose to his feet as well, long, spidery limbs unfolding from his position on the floor against a bulkhead, the book was placed on a nearby crate.

Pressing the reset button on his handy little stolen device, he sighed. "I'll be back for you once I'm changed."

Crane chuckled cruelly. "I've been waiting all week to see you in a bat-cowl."

Furrowing his brow at his companion's comment, Edward left the ship behind with the use of his little toy.

Arriving in his 'lair' he removed his tie and cautiously went to the garage door. Beside it he opened the regular door and found Query waiting there for him smoking against the building across from his.

He motioned her inside quickly.

Stamping out the cigarette before ducking under his arm as he held the door for her, she beamed.

"It went well?" He asked, removing his jacket.

"Sure did. You popped us in and we nabbed her. Boy, it's sure disorienting being in one place and then another so fast."

Hanging his jacket up on a shelf, he turned to eye her. "You nabbed her gently I hope?"

"Yeah. We gave her the ol' stink rag and she plopped into my arms like a white collar at a team building exercise." She said.

Tugging off his gloves, the Riddler nodded. "I hope that doesn't cause any long term effects..."

"Nah, she'll be fine."

He wasn't really talking about the cat, but anyways. "And where is she now?"

"Tied up in our basement."

Chuckling, he tossed his purple kid gloves onto his workbench and hung his head, still grinning to himself. "She'll love that."

"She's gonna be pissed when she wakes."

"I can't imagine she'd be pleased." He said, setting his cufflinks beside his gloves.

"Uh, boss?"

"Hn?"

"Why'd you have us kidnap her anyways? Does she have information or something?"

Edward unbuttoned his shirt quietly, before muttering. "Something." He noticed the woman still standing beside him and quirked a brow, hand pausing at his fifth button. "You can go now, my dear."

She beamed impishly. "Spoilsport."

"And, Diedre?"

The woman stopped at the door.

"She's not to be harmed under any circumstances. Understood? If that kitty gets hurt, my girls will both be in very big trouble."

She saluted him. "Gotcha. Easy on the kitty."

**Ivy**

"I just feel like a damned fool."

Looking up from where she was stroking a blossoming orchid, she found the most wonderful pair wandering down her greenhouse alley.

One was the Scarecrow, nothing different there. He was wearing his burlap and carrying his scythe, but the other was his extreme opposite. Dressed in heavy black moulded armour embossed with a bat symbol, the other man's face was obscured by a bat-cowl, but the frown was very clear on the lower half.

She laughed mockingly. "I think my life is complete. I can die happy now."

"You know," the Bat spoke in a voice very similar to the Riddler's. "I should be treated with a little more dignity from you two. After all, I'm dressing up like an idiot just to bring Gotham a little peace and quiet."

"Oh, Ed. Don't you know by now all you'll get from me is disgust and contempt?" She purred.

"Like you're so great," he snapped, tugging at the high collar on the bat suit. "This thing is restricting."

Tilting his mask, the Scarecrow spoke, his tone was flat as usual, but tainted slightly by something almost akin to amusement. "Do the voice for her."

"No, you can both go to hell." Eddie stated, tugging at the suit in places where the armour was replaced by cloth.

It was only when the Riddler got a bat-glove caught on a piece of bat-armour that Ivy lost control of her dignity and began a deep belly laugh at his struggles to free himself. Deep down the creepiest part of it all was how much he actually could pass for the Bat, if it wasn't for that know-it-all tone of his or the fact that his jaw wasn't as square, she could have imagined it was Batman having suit difficulties.

"Do I have to go over the plan before we get underway?" Edward asked. "One final go over for the cheap seats?"

"Wouldn't hurt. I don't want Crane stepping on my lines." Ivy said.

The Scarecrow's mask angled in her direction. "Afraid I'll upstage you?"

"Nobody upstages me, Jon."

Crane mumbled something under his breath and she glared at his stupid mask.

"What was that?"

The burlap face cocked to the left. "I said 'Selina Kyle can upstage you on her worst day'."

"I agree. Selina and Ivy in a room, Lina wins it every time." Eddie broke in.

"She has that certain je ne sais quoi." Crane added.

Eddie nodded. "It's the eyes, her eyes have it."

"Compared to Selina, Ivy's a north woods lumberjack."

Ivy flashed green eyed fire at the men, and her hand shot out to grab Crane's suit at the throat, yanking him onto the table. "Listen you straw stuffed freak…"

The blade of Crane's scythe pressed against the underside of her chin as the Scarecrow struggled to get free.

She held him cruelly to the table with a smirk, eyeing the Riddler who stood by quietly.

He crossed his arms, unknowingly striking a very Bat-like pose. "If we kill each other, who's going to kill the Joker?" He asked.

"Just give me a few more seconds, I think I can get him to pass out." She replied, still holding the Scarecrow down by his throat.

"I'm tempted to see where this is going, but let's leave it for later." Eddie said. "Right now, business."

Reluctantly releasing the Scarecrow's windpipe, Ivy moved back slowly as he recovered. As she anticipated a scythe was pointed in her direction threateningly.

"Try that again and I'll bring a pestilence of ergot down upon your empire!" He croaked.

Folding her arms, she smiled serenely at him from across the table.

**Harley**

It was never a good thing when you woke up bound tightly.

But as she took in the situation, Harley realized that she knew these vines. There was only one person in all of Gotham who had vines like the ones stringing her up and Ivy would never hurt her.

Well, with the exception of drugging and kidnapping her.

Wriggling about in her cradle of plants, she tried to figure out just what she did that made Ivy angry, when she heard voices on the other side of the thick forest of plants.

"She has that certain je ne sais quoi."

Harley's blue eyes widened. That was her Professa, even though it was mumbled, she knew that voice anywhere.

What the heck is goin' on? More importantly who the heck is he talkin' about? It better not be another woman!

"It's the eyes, her eyes have it."

Harley frowned. That sounds like Mistah E, but everyone knows he's dead…although it is Gotham, no one ever stays dead here.

Slumping against her restraints, she sighed into the gag.

"Compared to Selina, Ivy's a north woods lumberjack."

Taking exception to the fact that Crane wasn't even talking about her, Harley scowled at the wall of plants between her and the voices. She heard scuffling, then Ivy's voice.

"Listen you straw stuffed freak…"

There was further sounds of a struggle, then Mistah E spoke. "If we kill each other, who's going to kill the Joker?"

Harley's blue eyes widened and she began thrashing at her bindings. What the Hello, Dolly! was going on?

All she could think of was that cheesy movie with that cheesy line based on a cheesy, boring old play about boring old historical bums. Et tu, Brute? The assassins were plotting and her puddin' was in trouble.

But Harley, a rational part of her brain kicked in, Ivy saved ya from bein' there.

But she's gonna kill Mistah J! They're all plottin'!

Another part of her brain, one that hadn't spoken up since her therapy at Arkham spoke up and it spoke very clearly.

So? The Joker's a mook like the rest of them, let him burn.

Harley frowned. This part of her brain hadn't said anything in months.

But he loves us! Puddin' keeps us safe!

Does he? What was the first thing he did when we went back to him?

She scowled. Well, he slapped her around a bit. But in his defence she had it coming for cheating on him!

But why did we cheat on him?

Because he…well he left us. We took the wrap for that gig he pulled and he left town for a while, while we stewed in the clink like a sucker. When we got out, we found the professa sitting dejectedly on a bus bench with a big load of chemicals. Remember? He could barely get his arms around them.

Harley laughed softly at the memory. Jonny looked so ridiculous loaded down with those boxes and things.

No, she stated firmly to that voice. Puddin' needs us. We have to warn him.

Don't.

Shut up.

If we warn him he'll kill all our friends.

Are they our friends?

Ivy is. And Mistah E was never unkind to us. And Crane was a nice guy when we were with him, wasn't he? Remember Christmas with him? All those small gifts he left for us all over the place for us to find? Remember how he complained about all the mistletoe, but never once made any move to take them all down? After all, he was tall enough to do it without a ladder. All he had to do was reach up and tear it down.

Harley stopped struggling. Jonny was a great guy to her. Sure he was surly, but she found that he wasn't nearly as mean surly as her puddin'. No, her professa was more grumpy surly. And they did have fun. They had loads of fun blowing up city hall.

But we have fun with our baby, don't we?

Don't we?

Realizing that they were finishing the plans on the other side of the plants, Harley furrowed her brow. She probably should have been paying attention to those.

So, what do we do, girl? Do we find a way to get loose or leave puddin' to his own fate?

Get down.

Don't move.

**Selina**

Her throat was dry as hell, which was fine, she supposed. A dry throat was nothing compared to the migraine and the fact that she was coming to all tied up to a chair in what looked like a basement.

Smacking her tongue to the roof of her mouth, she tasted metal and knew instantly just what happened.

Chloroform.

Someone had a beef with her.

Investigating her surroundings she realized that the chair she was in was sturdy, but not secured to the floor.

Their second mistake.

Their first was kidnapping her.

Quickly, she gritted her teeth and dislocated her left shoulder. It hurt like hell, but it was something she was used to.

The trick to being a good cat burglar was to know how to get out of sticky situations.

Wriggling her left arm out of the ropes that bound her, gave her enough room to wriggle her right arm out without having to dislocate it as well. Tentatively she popped her left shoulder back into place. It always kind of grossed her out when she had to do it, but it was a nifty little trick she learned from one of her many travels.

Using her free arms to untie her ankles, she noticed her left was a little rusty. Dislocating a shoulder would do that, but that's why she used her left, it wasn't her dominant arm.

Grabbing the sturdy chair as a weapon, she moved to the small basement window and peered out.

The window didn't open, but she was sure she could break it without a sound.

Outside the world was dark. Across the residential street was a small, well kept home flashing back from to the seventies.

"Who the hell kidnapped me? The Brady's?" She snarled to herself.

Curious as to who kidnapped her, she moved up the stairs quietly to listen at the door.

There were no sounds coming from the other side.

Going back down the stairs, she snooped among the belongings for some clue. There was nothing but regular things found in a basement. Except for a locked trunk.

Quirking a brow, Selina studied the trunk. She wouldn't have time to open it.

It looked like her only option was to find out the identity of her captors the good old fashioned way.

Leaving the chair, but picking up a pair of heavy horseshoe stakes from off a shelf, she went back to the door at the top of the stairs and tried the handle. It was locked, which didn't surprise her.

She studied it for a weak point. Usually a well placed kick to the area just by the knob did the trick, but she wanted to know just how solidly built the door was. There was no way in hell she'd break a foot, it'd be embarrassing to everyone, especially her.

Finding the door was older and made cheaply, she smiled and stepped back on the landing.

With the fury of a hellcat, she kicked the door in and leapt into action.

The kitchen she found herself in was empty.

The commotion would no doubt alert her kidnappers, so she moved swiftly to the back door and out into the night.

Circling the house in the dark, she quietly crept onto the front step as she heard her captors voices in the back. She made a note of the house number, before trying the front door.

No one ever suspected the victim of sticking around. If she was lucky her kidnappers were already searching the backyard and alley for her, while she walked back into the house cautiously.

Holding her metal stakes as weapons until she found something better, she moved around the living room quietly. There wasn't much of a personality to the place, but she knew somewhere she'd find a clue as to who drugged her and brought her here.

Voices coming in the back door alerted her and she moved up the stairs quickly and quietly.

"The boss isn't going to be happy, Nin."

"How were we supposed to know how soon she'd come around?"

Crouching behind the dowling of the upstairs landing, Selina peered down as a dark head and a blonde head entered the front hall.

"We'll get the bikes and go out looking for her, she couldn't have gone far."

"Yeah, with our luck she'll be waiting in a bush somewhere to kick our asses." The blonde replied.

There was something oddly familiar about their voices, but Selina couldn't see their faces from her position.

"Just remember if we lay a bad hand on her, the boss will probably kill us and drop us in the sewers." The blonde went on as they skipped out the door.

Waiting a moment to be sure they were gone, Selina stood up and moved into a nearby room.

Immediately Selina thought of Harley when she spied all the things a young college woman would have in her room, but off-set with soft, fluffy creatures on the bed.

She made a bee-line for the framed photo on the desk and picked it up.

In the picture two women draped themselves around one smugly smiling Edward Nygma.

Query and Echo.

"That rat bastard." She snarled, smashing the photo on a corner of the desk.