Leah,

It is so hard to think of the right words to explain myself. I suppose the first thing I should say is I am so sorry. I know that you will say I've apologized enough, that you're tired of hearing it, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't need to be said or that you don't deserve it. You do.

I wish I could change what happened between us. Not to take it away but rather to change the setting and circumstances surrounding it. If I had the power I would change a lot of things.

The one thing I need you to know, to believe, no matter what may happen, no matter what I say from this day forward, is that I will never, ever regret what we shared. I will treasure that forever.

I care a great deal for you, and that is why I need to do this. You deserve better; you always have, and I want you to have it. I want you to be happy, Leah. I truly wish I could be the one to give that to you, but I'm not. We both know that I bring you nothing but pain, and it has to stop.

I will understand if you hate me, in fact, I think it might be easier for you if you did. I wish you the best. I don't doubt you will find it. You really are beautiful, inside and out. Someone would have to be blind to not see that.

Yours

Edward

Edward waited until Leah had disappeared down the block, and out of sight before he stepped out from the bushes. He felt a little silly for hiding, but he had to be sure to not be seen. Despite his confidence and surety that he was doing the right thing, Edward wasn't sure he could stay strong if he was face to face with Leah. He needs distance from her as much as she needed it from him. It was the only way they were going to work past what happened.

He takes a second to brush some pine needles off his jacket and takes a deep breath before entering his house. The air is filled with the mouthwatering scents of pancakes and bacon. They do nothing to tempt his already roiling stomach. Edward isn't really sure when he would ever have an appetite to eat again.

"Hello?" Bella's voice echoes through the hallway, and he can see her walking down the corridor. "Lee, is that you?"

"No, it's just me," he replies, trying not to sound unsteady, and fails completely.

"Edward?" Bella closes the distance in a run and throws herself into his arms. "I was so worried. Where have you been?"

"I was at the church," he says, holding her close and trying to ignore the twist of guilt it causes. "I'm sorry if I made you worry."

She pulls back, shaking her head, and wipes at her eyes. "Don't mind me." They walk into the kitchen, and she sits him down, taking the seat next to him. "You're probably starving; let me get you something."

"Bella," Edward catches her hand before she can walk away and pulls her down to sit. "I need to talk to you."

"Okay," she sighs, looking resigned and a bit guilty. "I suppose we should."

"Yes, it's long overdue," he agrees, gently patting her hand and feels oddly calm.

"I'm so sorry for springing the news about Houston on you like that," Bella starts in immediately and looks close to tears. "It wasn't fair to expect you to go along with it, and I wish I could have done it differently."

"Thank you," Edward says, trying not to show how much it hurts him to see her crying. "But there are bigger issues we need to talk about."

"Bigger issues?" Bella blinks, looking confused, and shakes her head. "What do you mean?"

"Bella," he sighs, struggling to find the right words, and flounders a little. "We haven't been like we used to be. There's this distance, and I'm not talking about the physical distance, though it is part of how we got here. Regardless how it started, our marriage is in serious trouble, and we need to be honest about it, if we're ever going to have any hope of fixing it."

He lets out a long steam of air, relieved that he finally got it all out. It takes a few minutes for him to notice the silence that's fallen over the room. When he looks up he can see that Bella's eyes are wide, and her face is a bright shade of crimson.

"How…Oh, Edward, I'm so sorry," Bella erupts into tears and covers her face with her hands. "I swear I didn't mean for it to happen."

Edward stares at Bella for a long moment, while his mind puts together what her sobbing and words mean. The shock of it rocks him a little, like a lightning bolt stabbing down the center of his body. It's feels like God just smacked him in the face, and he supposes that in a way he kind of did.

Bella is babbling about being lonely on her business trips, about spending time with Jasper. She trips over her words, says things about feeling a connection with her boss and how at first she mistook her feelings for friendship. It is like hearing his own words and thoughts thrown back at him, before he even had a chance to make a confession.

"Do you love him?" The words fall from Edward's lips even as the thought forms in his mind.

"I…I don't know," Bella replies, not meeting his gaze, and wipes at her tears with the damp, shredded remains of a paper napkin. "Maybe. God, you must hate me!"

"I don't hate you, Bella" Edward says, folding his hands over hers and gives her a reassuring smile. "I could never hate you."

"I don't know how you couldn't," she insists and continues to sob.

"Because I am just as guilty as you are," he sighs, picking up a fresh napkin and gently dabs at her damp face. "I know things look bleak right now, but I promise we'll work this out."

"How can you be so sure?" Bella looks bewildered and gives him a confused shake of her head, but he only smiles a little wider.

"I love you," he replies, feeling for the first time in a long time that he is doing the right thing.