Hey All! I do believe my muse is back! I wrote a new story but haven't really touched any of my other stories yet, I'm not sure if I'll post this new story, it was just something I wrote to keep me entertained over the weekend. Anyways, I don't really have any stories of tornado stuff because I've been focused on school and haven't been off campus.

On that note, this is a sensitive chapter and it talks about things that if you are under age, you shouldn't read and I won't be upset if you skip this chapter, it's hard for me to even read and I wrote it. Please look away if you get easily disgusted, as this is a horrible chapter and the reason why Bella keeps telling Edward when he's older she'll explain.

"Esme, you said that you'd listen when ever I needed an ear to talk," I said as I walked into the kitchen of the Cullen's.

"Of course, dear, why don't I make some tea and let's enjoy the sun out on the back patio."

I went outside to the nice April afternoon, it was a rare sunny day in Forks, just one month before my daughter turned a year old.

"So," Esme said as she came out with to cups of tea. She always keep tea on hand for me since I didn't drink soda pop. "Where would you like to begin?"

"I don't really know, I can't talk to Charlie about this because all he see's is red and he thinks it his fault for not spotting this sooner."

"Honey, I know Charlie love's you and if something wrong happens to our baby's, we always feel it's our fault. Remember when we took Janie to the ER because she bumped her head while you where with your friends and Emmett was watching her, you felt like it was your fault, because you left her with him."

"But it wasn't anybody's fault, Janie could have done it under anybody's watch."

"You still felt like it was your fault, all parent's feel that way."

"Not my mom."

"Why don't you start there, with your mom."

"Renee, I hate her, she stood bye Phil even though he's in jail now."

"Who's Phil?"

"My step-father, Janie's father. I was ten when it started. My mom and Phil where married when I was eight, he grew tired of her by the time I was nine, started touching me when I was nine and a half and on my tenth birthday, he snuck in and raped me. He told me how to clinch around him, so he'd enjoy it, what words to say, how to moan, it was an art form to him, to me, well it ruined the one thing I'd heard great things about, how powerful a feeling can be, how intense and perfect that moment can be with somebody, the right somebody.

"It continued for another two years, at least once a week, some time's more, depending on my mom's schedule, if she was on her period, it was a lot more often than when she wasn't. If she was between job's, the violating almost stopped. If she was working non-stop, it was frequent, you get the drift." Esme nodded but didn't speak, she wanted me to get this off my chest.

"Just two months before my twelfth birthday, I started my own period, I didn't know at the time that I could get pregnant, I was still innocent in that aspect, I knew that when two people loved each other and made love, it meant that they could create a baby, but I didn't understand that just having sex, forced or for pleasure, could create a baby, so I keep my own period a secret, I never flowed heavy enough and I didn't want Phil to go on the threats he'd been telling me."

"What where those threats, Bella, do you mind me asking?"

"No, it's fine, he told me that if I started my period and he felt like f'ing, he'd do me in the butt and I wouldn't scream about it or he'd cover my mouth with duck tape. The week I was on my period, I was at a camp, so he didn't know, but as soon as I got home he went right back to it.

"My mother was working eighty hour pay periods, almost twelve hours a day, off two day's a week, meaning I was his main pleasure. That's when he started experimenting, teaching me to give him blow job's, I hated it. Esme, even now, almost two years later, I still can't imagine being with a boy. Not now, not that I know what the consequence are. On the night of my twelfth birthday, was the night I'm sure we conceived Janie, it was either then or some time around then. Normally he was careful to use protection, but every once and awhile he'd slip and forget. That week he'd done it at least once a night, he was agitated because my mother was working so much and he was afraid that she was cheating. Every time he drove into me, it felt like I was going to rip open, he was taking his frustrations out on me.

"Two months later, I started noticing that my breast where tender and that I hadn't had a period since camp, I figured it was all normal, then the worst thing in the world happened, I started to enjoy him, he was getting off, but so was I, it scared me so bad, I looked online the next day, about pregnancies, I had the normal symptoms, plus I was horny, that's what Phil called it each time he came to my room, 'Bella, sweetie, I'm sure horny for a twelve year old', so that's what I was when I'd find myself touching me and enjoying it, I'm sorry, this is getting to in depth for you."

"Bella, if you need to get this off your chest, then do it, I'm not a judge, I'm not judging you because you where pregnant and had the symptoms, when I was pregnant with my kids, Carlisle and I where always going at it," Esme said. You'd think I'd be creep-ed out by what she'd just said, but I wasn't, I understood the feeling.

"Another month went by, it was Thanksgiving and I knew I was flying out to my fathers, so I was free for some time, well I noticed I was gaining weight, not a lot, but enough that my tummy was starting to round, I wore baggier clothes and flew out to my fathers, I didn't realize I'd never be home again after that. Charlie caught me getting sick and forced me to go the doctors, where I revealed to Carlisle that Phil had been sexually abusing me, Carlisle did a pregnancy test and well, you know how that came out.

"Charlie was furious, I'd never seen him so mad, he really had a shot gun in hand and was heading for Florida, but I broke down and said I wanted to keep the baby, in just the few hours since I'd found out, I'd already begun to care about it, I wanted to protect it, it was mine, something that would love me forever, something I could hold on to forever. Charlie didn't understand at first, but slowly realized after I'd locked myself in my room that I was keeping this baby, so we set down and made a plan, one that made me into a mother. Charlie did set down and have the sex talk with me, explaining that someday my prince would come and that when I was ready, sex would be a good experience, when I was thirty or so."

Esme laughed, "most fathers tell their little girls that, they hope that they don't find a boy until they are in their thirties, my father told me the forties."

"My father called the local police down there and Phil was picked up after they did a paternity test on Jane, resulting in her being his baby, there was never any doubt about it, but Carlisle did it to help our case. I spoke to the lawyers, but Charlie refused to let me speak on the stand, unfortunately, I had to, there was no way getting around it. As I told the story, the same one I just told you, my father had to be escorted from the room, he was so upset. The judge was a nice older gentleman, not that I really trusted men besides my father, but I stayed strong on the stand and when it was over, the judge called a five minute recess, then asked me to come to his office, I did as asked, not sure what I'd done, but he promised I wasn't in trouble. He had some cookies in his office, his wife had just baked them the night before so they where still fresh, he allowed me to eat some, then asked me just a few more questions, like why I wanted to keep the baby when it would be better for Janie to be adopted.

"I simply said that she was mine, I loved her so much already, and that I'd been dealt a bad hand, but I wanted to make right by the baby. He understood and I was allowed to leave, I flew back to Forks in February and had Janie in May, when I told Charlie I wanted to go back to school, he agreed and we found a babysitter, and here I am now, with an eleven month old on my hip and getting ready to start my first year of high school."

"You've been through so much, Bella, you're only thirteen, what about your mother, what became of her?"

"I found out that she's been hooking, Charlie say's she's been selling her body for sex, but during the trial, she stood by Phil, calling me the liar and that the baby was fake, just made up because I loved Phil, I had a pre-teen crush on him."

"Honey, I know you're upset, but I want you to know that I'm always here for you, when you need a shoulder to cry on, when you need a place to rest, or when you need a babysitter for Janie. You are as much a part of this family as Alice is."

"Esme, can I ask you something, I know you have said that we are part of your family, but Jane doesn't have a female figure besides me, and while I'm doing well to teach her to grow up, it's just that, I'd like for her to have a grandmotherly figure as well, would you be her adopted grandmother?"

"Oh, sweetie, yes, I'd love that, Carlisle and I where going to speak to you about that anyways, we want to be her grandparents with Charlie."

I smiled and looked out across the back yard, the sun was starting to set, just as my story had come to an end.