As promised, here's chapter 17. So far so good on finals, hopefully I can keep the momentum going haha
Thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter! Hearts and chocolate and disgustingly mushy things sent to you.
"You alright?" Sakura asked worriedly as she and Sasuke finally arrived back at his place. She walked over to him and placed her fingertips tenderly on the outside of his hand alongside his little finger. Sasuke slowly closed his hand over her fingertips and Sakura squeezed back with a soft, concerned smile.
Through his nose, Sasuke took a deep, silent inhale. "Sakura, I want Shunsuke to have my last name."
Sakura's jaw slacked slightly. "What?" She barely breathed out unsure of what exactly he meant by his statement.
"He's my son." Sasuke sighed distantly. "We can go down to the Hokage's office and have the paperwork done. I want him to have my last name."
Sakura's eyes focused to the side. The breath flowing through her nostrils became searing hot-fighting with her blurring vision to alert her body of the threat of crying. She felt how instantly clammy her hands felt in his and took a deep breath to steady herself. Her grasp went limp in his.
"I…don't know."
Sasuke's eyes spasmed narrow in confusion before returning to normal. Did she just say-
"I don't know." Sakura repeated in a whisper. Shaking her head to no one in particular. Sasuke stood in shock and his hold around her slack hand loosened slightly. His prior nervousness was more from the act of doing the deed, the excitement from calling his son Uchiha Shunsuke. And with things going so well with Sakura…The thought never crossed through his mind that she would say anything other than yes.
"Sakura-"
"I'm not saying no," she defended quickly and apprehensively. "I'm just saying I can't just answer on the spot. I need to think about it. Plus, we haven't even talked to Shunsuke to see how he feels about it…"
Sasuke's jaw clenched and he stared at the ground as Sakura trailed off.
"Sasuke…" she tried gently, reanimating her grasp in his hand. Her bright eyes looked into his tight ones, pleading silently for sympathy. He gazed back deeper. Deeper until it seemed her pupils were tunnels that led him straight into the unexpressed thoughts of her brain. Where he saw it.
Sasuke snatched his hand from hers and his nose flared dangerously as he sneered down on her. "You think I'm going to leave again."
Sakura's eyes opened as wide as possible and she shook her head. "That's not-"
"That's exactly why you don't want to . You don't trust that I'll stay around."
"I never said that Sasuke." Sakura objected firmly, her jaw set tight as well.
"You didn't have to."
"Why would I take you back if I thought you were going to leave again. Or why would I let you have a relationship with our son? Why would I stick up for you if I felt that way.-"
"Because you knew."
"Knew what?"
"Doing all that…you hoped it would make me stay because you knew."
"Knew what?" Sakura asked in exasperated confusion. Sasuke looked at her angrily glassed eyes and pained face- the eyes and face of the woman he loved, but whose distrust had wounded him deeply. He wasn't used to the internal pain, and though he'd learned to curb his muscles' aggressive responses, that only resulted in his restraint over his tongue to loosen even more. His throat felt like it was swelling shut in his sane body's attempt to keep him from saying the words he knew he'd regret.
"You know that without me…" The swelling quickened frantically but the pain pushed the words through the barrier like bile rising in his throat. "You're just a whore of a single mother. Without me you're just shit."
An audible gasp was heard and everything froze. Her mouth hung open and her nose flared-hungry for the breaths that would prove his words hadn't killed her. Her innocent eyes looked like nothing more than voids of pain.
Sasuke's jaw tightened quickly, but the damage was already done. He pressed his fingers to his eyes and shook his head slowly in self-loathing. "Sakura I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I didn't-"
She let out a sharp exhale and held up her hand before lightly touching her fingertips to her temple and backing slowly towards the door.
"Sakura…" Sasuke tried helplessly and held out a regretful hand to her. But Sakura continued on backwards before spinning around and jerking open the door, slamming it shut behind her.
"So wait wait wait wait wait, let me make sure I've got this straight. You fucked up with Sakura, so now you need advice from me?" Ino inhaled sagely and stretched backward. Sasuke clenched his jaw tightly in aggravation and glared at the blonde.
"No, I came to ask Ten Ten for help. I had no idea you were even here."
"Isn't that mouth of yours what got you in trouble in the first place?" Ino snapped, tapping her cheek.
"What exactly happened Sasuke," Ten Ten interrupted before the bantering could continue. Sasuke inhaled deeply and looked towards the ground. Asking for help was more awkward than he'd anticipated.
"…Sakura and I got into an argument and I…said some things I shouldn't have."
"You already told us that much," Ten Ten sighed.
Sasuke leaned forward with his elbows propped on his knee and his fingers locked together and pressed beneath his nose.
"What kind of things, Sasuke?" Ino asked. The slightly joking air was no longer in her voice. Sasuke sighed harshly with a roll of his eyes and leaned back.
"In summation….I pretty much said that she'd be nothing without me. Shit to be exact…And that she'd be a whore of a single mother."
"You what!" Ino screamed and flew towards Sasuke, but Ten Ten intercepted her path and held her back.
"Sasuke, angry or not what you said was just wrong." Ten growled in stunned shock.
Sasuke sighed. "I know that-"
"So what the hell's wrong with you then?" Ino snapped once more. She was no longer trying to physically attack Sasuke, but her anger was in no way subsided.
"Look, I'm not trying to justify what I did."
"Do you have any idea what kind of shit Sakura went through while she was pregnant? Y'know she already had to deal with people calling her a whore I bet it made her feel hella better to hear you jumping on the bandwagon too!…"
Sasuke had resolved to standing up and leaning against the wall of Ten Ten's apartment. He stared absently at the wall and waited for Ino to finish her tirade.
"I came to you because you're Sakura's friend, I figured you would know how she's feeling and how I can handle this. Can you help me or not?" Sasuke sighed, rolling his head to look at Ten Ten.
"You made this mess clean it up yourself." Ino snapped. Sasuke's knuckles turned white as his fist clenched in an effort to control his temper.
Ten Ten sighed heavily and shook her head. "Sasuke I understand that you coming to other people for help is a sign that you feel no other option and a sincere sign that you care, but…Ino's right. You have to fix this yourself."
Sasuke's jaw clenched in mounting frustration. "I don't want you to talk to her for me. I'm fully prepared to do that on my own. But I'm at a lost if she won't even give me a chance to talk to her."
"You're supposed to be dating and you don't know what to do? You're supposed to be her boyfriend, you should know her as well as us. Better than us! You're so fuckin' lucky she didn't kill your ass for that-"
"I get it Ino, you're pissed. Shut the hell up now." Sasuke sneered.
"What?" Ino snapped. Ten Ten's hold on her strengthened.
"Alright you two." She warned and released one of her hands from Ino's arm and used it to tiredly rub her eyes. Ino snatched her arm away and stormed angrily to the other side of the room. After a moment of thought, Ten Ten sighed heavily and spoke.
"We can't tell you what to do in this situation, you have to come up with that yourself. I can suggest that you start working on your temper though. Seriously."
"…Will you help me?…Both of you." Sasuke asked with much hesitation. Ten Ten looked up at Sasuke in shock and saw the abject, remorseful look in Sasuke's eyes and his determination to set things right. She folded her hands against her mouth and sighed.
"Do you think it's a good idea for you and Ino to be working together?" The brunette asked warily.
"Managing to control my temper with Ino will definitely improve my chances of controlling my temper in general." Sasuke deadpanned, then caught himself. "I need the help of both of you."
Ino bit her lips between her teeth and shot a look at Sasuke. She couldn't doubt the love he had for Shunsuke and Sakura.
"Right now I hate you for what you did, but Sakura's my friend and Shunsuke's like a son…I know you love them and for some fuckin' reason they love you too. If this is how I can help out the relationship, then fine."
"Fine….Thank you."
Ten Ten's eyes widened and she frowned in pleasant surprise. "Well alright then."
"Alright?" Sasuke clarified.
"Alright," Ino nodded with a sigh of resignation.
"Alright!" Ten Ten shrugged with a smile.
"Alright." Sasuke breathed to himself in relief. It was time to get his family back.
Sakura was still upset, but luckily for Sasuke, she wasn't angry enough to keep him from seeing his son. She had dropped him off at the Academy that morning and Sasuke was supposed to pick him up from school that afternoon and allow him to stay over for a few hours while Sakura was at work. Against Sasuke's wishes, she had hoped to have Kakashi or Naruto pick up Shunsuke so that the woman wouldn't have to see him, but the regretful Uchiha managed to persuade her to come herself. Sakura had decided to remain at the hospital until six when she was due to pick up Shunsuke from Sasuke's house. As Sasuke finished straightening up his house, Sakura's loud knock could be heard on the front door.
"Hello Sakura." Sasuke greeted cordially as he opened the front door. He stepped aside to allow Sakura to come in, but the woman remained in the door.
"Hey Sasuke," she replied politely but tersely. "Where's Shunsuke?" She asked immediately when she saw Sasuke standing alone and Shunsuke no where in sight. In her hand she held tall, wooden staff with embossed metal ends and a metal grip around the middle where Sakura's hand was.
"At Naruto's, I need to talk to you." Sasuke responded as his eyes nervously shifted back and forth between Sakura's bright green eyes and the threatening staff she held. He saw the strong, metal plate of the staff she held crush helplessly within her grip. Sasuke's brow raised is slight concern.
"Where'd you get that?" Sasuke asked, nodding to the staff.
"Huh? Oh TenTen gave it to me. It's an old one so she wanted me to give it to Shunsuke." Sakura responded absently. "I'd better go get Shunsuke then."
"Sakura…" Sasuke began extending a hand but not touching the retreating female. She stopped with a heavy sigh and turned around halfway. "Please, come in so we can talk."
Sakura took another deep breath and put her tongue between her teeth and upper lip. When Sasuke asked gently again, Sakura nodded and slowly walked in. Sasuke moved over to give her enough space to get through cleanly. Sakura stood in the middle of the floor with the staff in one and and the other hand on her hip.
"What do you want Sasuke?" Sakura asked with slight impatience.
Sasuke started slowly, eyeing the staff once more. "Do you mind if I set that over here?" He asked cautiously, reaching out for the stick. Sakura's brow furrowed for a moment, then realizing that Sasuke interpreted the staff as a potential threat she stuck it out for him. He extended his arm fully and cautiously and his entire body remained stiffened. He guardedly wrapped his hand around the pole and took it, leaning it against the wall before breathing to himself in relief.
"Sasuke-"
"I know I hurt you and I apologize, what I said was completely out of line and completely untrue but I hope that you'll still at least give me a chance to talk to you. Please."
Sakura sighed. Her face hadn't seemed to soften in the least.
"I can't say I expect you to forgive me so easily, but I can and will do my hardest to work so that you will…Follow me." Sasuke added quickly, headed for his kitchen. Sakura swung her leg for a moment before stepping forward and walking behind Sasuke.
He waited by the entrance of the kitchen expectantly and made a gesture for the kitchen. Sakura entered slowly and her jaw dropped unconsciously. Waiting before her was a small table set with a glowing candle set in the middle. In front of two of the chairs sat steaming bowls of shoyu ramen.
"There's anmitsu dessert in the refrigerator, and these," he said as he picked up a bouquet of mixed flowers and handed them to Sakura, "are for you.…I thought we could have dinner while we talked."
Sakura took the flowers and walked slowly towards the table. "Did you do all of this Sasuke?" She asked in obvious surprise.
"Yes…well, kind of. I purchased the anmitsu from the Dango Shop and the flowers from Ino's…and well Ten Ten helped me cook the ramen. I would have made it all myself, but the purpose was to try to make up for what I did, not get you sick and angry with me again."
Sakura scratched her lip with her finger to hide a smile and sat at the table as Sasuke pulled the seat out for her. She placed the bouquet in her lap and eyed the table silently.
"I can't apologize enough for what I did. I was out of line and angry and everything I said was completely untrue. I know it sounds like bullshit, but I honestly didn't mean a word of it. At the moment, it was just the only thing I could think of that would hurt you back deep enough. And that was petty of me."
"Just to knowing that you could even think up something like that doesn't help." Sakura muttered, picking up her chopsticks and swirling the ramen around in the bowl.
"I understand that," Sasuke nodded sympathetically. "I know I've done extensive damage and I honestly have no idea how exactly to make it better. I do love you Sakura and Shunsuke and I have no intentions of leaving you and I had no intentions of hurting you again, but I see I failed at that. But from this moment on, I vow to handle any future altercations much better than I did that afternoon. That I promise."
Sakura exhaled heavily from her mouth in hurt and stress and kept her eyes fixed on her bowl of ramen.
"Here," Sasuke said quickly, as he reached in to his pocket and fumbled for a sheet of paper. Once he found it, he pulled it out and held the folded square out for Sakura.
"What is that?" Sakura asked, forcing and edge onto her voice.
"Ten Ten and Ino have been…helping me hold my tongue better."
"Huh?"
"I want this to work Sakura, so I guess you could say I've been going to them for counseling."
"So what is this your counseling diploma," Sakura asked. Her voice was slightly sarcastic, but Sasuke could hear the softness beginning to return. He watched as she opened the paper and her green eyes widened before looking up at him in shock, then back down to read the paper.
Ten reasons I love you (Sakura):
1) You've always been there for me
2) You gave me a wonderful son and have done a hell of a job in raising him.
3) You're strong and determined and ambitious
4) I actually laugh around you
5) I know there will never be someone who understands me like you. We don't need words to get each other.
6) I know I'll never love anyone else like I love you.
7) I can let down my guards with you. (And I'm learning that I can be vulnerable around you without the fear of being betrayed)
8) You're annoying. You've been annoying since childhood, but still I've never stopped loving you.
9) Good in sack. (that was a joke. You are, but it was just there to lighten the mood)
10) You always were and always will be the only one I can imagine starting a family with and spending my life with
"There're more reasons of course, but they just told me to do ten." Sasuke shrugged and scratched his head awkwardly. "I know, it's just a stupid list. The whole idea was stupid, but I thought I should give it to you anyway since I wrote it out and everything."
A breathy laugh escaped Sakura's nose as she bit her lips to vainly fight the smile on her lips.
"I really am sorry, Sakura." Sasuke apologized once more, rapping his knuckles uncomfortably on the table. She nodded her head, reading the paper over and over again. Sasuke watched her closely, trying to figure out what the nod meant.
"Did you graduate?" She asked finally, still smiling down at the paper.
"Hm?"
"From counseling? Did you graduate?"
"Well there wasn't a ceremony or anything so…" Sasuke trailed off with a shrug. Sakura began nodding again and took a deep breath.
"Thank you."
Sasuke raised a thin brow in confusion. "Why are you thanking me?"
"For this." She held up the note, then gestured to the table. "All of this. For trying."
Sasuke nodded in growing relief. "I already told you that I'm not losing you again."
Sakura laughed and Sasuke smiled back, picking up his chopsticks. The two began eating in an at eased silence.
"Oh and Sasuke," Sasuke glanced up at Sakura who had a roguish smile on her face. "If you ever say something to me like that again, I'll kill you."
Sasuke's spine went rigid, but with a deep breath he relaxed and nodded. "I'd rather kill myself first before I say something like that again." Sakura smiled in approval and nodded and the two continued their dinner in a peaceful silence.
The argument was gonna be the end for last chapter but I figured that cliffy woulda really sucked haha
Review please!
See ya soon! xoxoxoxoxo