Disclaimer: Once again, I don't own anything or anyone.

Welcome back, fans! Last we left off, Sheamus and Natalya did a dine and dash at the local IHOP restaurant. But, for now, let's join up with Michael Cole and good ol' JR!

Cole notices, "Hey, looks like we passed one of your ol' buddy's…buildings, or whatever."

JR corrects him, "It's CALLED an 'Austin Clinic', and they're shelters for battered and abused women."

Cole shrugs and points, "Hey, check THAT out, JR!"

They look across the road and see a casket with handlebars and two wheels parked outside of a Dunkin Donuts. JR says, "Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle! Look, it's the Undertaker!"

As they drive by, they slow down and see Taker stumbling out of Dunkin Donuts with a noticeably larger stomach, confectioner's sugar all over his black tights, and stuffing an ENTIRE glazed donut into his mouth at one time!

JR and Cole look at each other, then back at Taker, who's now waddling over to his bike. They both exclaim, "DAAAAAAAAAAAAMN!"

Cole says, "You know, I NEVER KNEW Taker had a thing for donuts!"

JR replies, "Hm…neither did I." Suddenly, JR wakes up a bit, "Oh, and don't try to put me off the scent, either! I'm still pissed off with you for that bullshit you pulled back there at that Wendy's!"

Cole shakes his head and says, "Oh, c'mon JR! Come off of it. We're still making good time, we just had a funny moment, and I got my coffee back there at that truck stop."

JR says, "Now I'd better NOT discover we're last, or I'm gonna' barbecue your ass in molasses! That's a promise, buddy!"

Michael Cole just sighs as he and Ross gallop/ride along.

Now we'll join up with Sheamus and Natalya, as they're nearing Oklahoma City…

"…yeah, yeah, don't worry, Shame, I put the license plate back on. I TOLD you, I'm experienced with that there!"

Sheamus smiles and replies, "That WAS some slick shite ye pulled there, lassie!"

"Yeah, but on to better things—did you hear what Stephanie did last week in the locker room?"

"No, wha' happened?"

Natalya adjusts herself in the seat to turn toward Sheamus and she starts, "Ok, last week when we were having drinks backstage—it was all of us girls and a few of the guys, including Triple H. Ok well, we have a nice li'l layout—some fruit platters and cheese and meat trays, along with some bubbly. So, here comes Stephanie—inviting HERSELF to the occasion!"

Sheamus says, "Well, Steph's ok, I don't see—"

Natalya shakes her head, "Hold on, lemme' finish—She stumbles into the party area, DRUNK OUT OF HER MIND, holding a brown paper bag that OBVIOUSLY has a bottle of liquor inside of it. She starts slurring and talking in her 'outside voice', if you know what I mean? Triple H is EMBARRASED at this point and the rest of us are just trying to hold back the laughter. H SNATCHED the bottle away from her and she went RABID on the food bar as a result. She was yelling, 'GIVE ME BOOZE, OR GIVE MEEEEEE DEATH!' Triple H wasn't there to see THAT part of it because he left the area to discard the bottle he took from her…"

Sheamus is smirking, "Ok, go on, lass."

"Ok, well…what happened next shocked the HELL out of ALL of us! Steph HAD to have been drinking for a good while because she was talking to Randy Orton when she kept repeating herself. She kept whining, 'ooooh…I need to feel better, I need to feel better, I need to feel better…' We were all quiet and wondering what she was gonna' do or say next when she did the unthinkable—she squatted right down beside the buffet table, pulled off her dress—she wasn't wearing ANY underwear that night—and proceeded to take one of the biggest dumps I've ever personally seen! I mean, it looked like a melted chocolate volcano, or-or a giant anthill! And she did it right there on the floor, no less!"

Sheamus bursts out laughing and he asks, "Ahahahahaaa…what'd H do when he got back?"

Natalya says, "Oh—H comes in the room about to ask what smells like shit when everyone in the room, including ME, just pointed to Stephanie—who was ass-naked from the waist down, he dress was tangled around her ankles and she was crying, struggling to pick herself up. Triple H just looked around at everyone and apologized for his wife. He went over and tried helping her up, but he wasn't quite watching where he was going, and as he helped her up, HE slipped in HER shit-pile. At that instant, EVERYONE averted their eyes and tried their HARDEST not to even snicker aloud. I looked over at Randy and I saw tears coming from his face—I could tell he wanted to laugh, but you know how it is—you don't laugh at a McMahon. Shame, I've NEVER seen H so livid. His face was as red as a red velvet cake!"

Sheamus is laughing so hard he almost loses control of the car as they continue to drive off toward Oklahoma City.

We'll let those two calm down and we'll join up with Kofi and CM who have just entered Oklahoma City…

CM looks around as he and CM go down one of the main streets. He says, "Eh Kofi, So this is where the Jim Rosses of the world come from, huh?"

Kofi shrugs, "I guess so, mon. "

Cm starts to say something else, but his attention is drawn toward the gas gauge. He mentions to Kofi, "Uh…Kofi?"

"Yes, mon?"

"You might wanna' make it rain on that gas tank, man!"

Kofi looks down and says, "Oh sheet, we gotta' find a gas station!"

A few minutes pass and they come across a Sunoco station. Kofi immediately pulls in. Kofi says, "Ok, I'll pump 'de gas, mon. In the meanwhile, me need you t'go over and get me some chips and a soda, mon. Get something for yourself too, mon."

CM nods and runs off toward the store as Kofi slides his card through to start the pump. CM approaches the store, hold the door open for a lady that's coming out as he's going in, and he finds the snack food aisle. He gets a bag of chips for Kofi and a bag of Funyuns for himself, along with two diet Pepsi colas. He approaches the counter and has to wait behind an argument between the cashier and a customer…

The customer says, "Look pal, my total was 10.50—just like that! I gave you a 20—"

The cashier, interrupting, argues back,"- and I GAVE you your change—7.50!"

The customer is becoming visibly angrier and says, "Look you little shit! I'm to get 9.50 back! What's wrong with you? Can't you count?"

The cashier yells back, "Sir, of COURSE I can count!"

Meanwhile, there's a line forming in the store. The cashier notices this, as does Punk. Punk laughs a little at the seemingly silly argument taking place in front of him.

So the cashier and the customer yell at each other a couple MORE times before the cashier FINALLY realizes that he was wrong. He tries to apologize, but the customer makes a jump toward him, and he flinches—and about half of the angry customers waiting in line were laughing at the cashier jumping.

Finally CM makes his way up to the register and looks the cashier right in the eye. The cashier sees who he is and rolls his eyes, saying, "Great. As if my day wasn't bad ENOUGH already."

CM says," What's up Matt? I guess I don't need to ask how things are with you, do I?"

Matt, ignoring the question, asks, "Will that be all, today, sir?"

"Yes it will…young man."

Matt looks up at Punk with an evil glare as he counts his change. Punk, wanting to poke Matt further, smiles and says, "Yes, I get 8 bucks in change."

Matt, visibly frustrated replies, " I KNEW that!"

Punk takes his bag and asks, "You know, all you needed was a little less attitude and a little mor MATTITUDE—and you, too could've amounted to more in life. Bwaaahahahaaaa!"

Matt lunges toward CM as CM runs out of the store laughing.

Kofi asks, "Hey mon, what be so funny?"

Punk puts on his seatbelt and replies, "Hahaha…Matt Hardy's the cashier in there. He almost got his ass kicked by this one angry customer!"

Kofi mentions, "You know, mon—I DO remember a really BIG guy storming out of there and slamming his door when he got into his car. Mon, I saw him and I just wanted to stay out of de' way!"

So they pull off and head on down the road…Finally, we'll spend some time with Alberto and Santino, as Alberto appears to be trying to explain something to Santino...

"…and THAT is why I never wanted to date Beth Phoenix!"

Santino scratches his head and says, "So, what you're say—"

Alberto impatiently interrupts, "Look, I just don't want a girlfriend that has a bigger dick than I do! That's ALL!" Alberto glances up and angrily mutters, "Aye, dios mio!"

Santino, thinking again, mentions, "Ok, Santino know what kind of woman 'ju like—it is my a-sister, SANTINA!"

Del Rio gives Santino a death glare as he just keeps driving. He says, "Ju' know, we are going to ge'ju some help when we get back, my friend. The planet ju' on hasn't even been discovered yet!"

So, what'll happen next time? Will having Mattitude FINALLY work for Matt Hardy? Will Undertaker trade his bike in for a bag of donuts? Will Beth's dick size be an issue when she wears a dress—whooooaa, EEEEEEAAASY, big fella!

These and all other questions to be answered when you tune in next time—same Warrior time, same Warrior place, same Warrior channel!