Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own nuthin'.

Welcome back ladies and gentlepeoples! Last we left off, Santino had an…interesting phone call and JR and Cole called it quits, so to say. Right now, though, lets join up with JR, who's on the phone…

"…yeah, the dumb sum'bitch had it coming!"

Some chatter over the other end…

"That-that's RIGHT! And that's EXACTLY why I dumped his dumb ass off!"

The chatter becomes a little louder…

"But-but SIR, why couldn't I just DO this myself?"

More chatter…

"Yes, I understand THAT reasoning, but..but…but do I HAVE to have a partner?"

Even more chatter, only a bit more forceful this time…

"O-Ok sir, uh…yeah, I understand—I'll see who can find, then—"

*click*

JR clicks off his cellphone and plugs it into his charger, angrily muttering, "Why the HELL can't I do this alone? Why does Vince just INSIST on doing things the hard way all the damn time, dadgummit?"

We'll let JR calm down a little and we'll check in on Alberto and Santino, who have decided to stop at a bar in downtown Oklahoma City…

Santino and Alberto are sat at the bar, where they're enjoying their drinks and having a conversation about something…

Alberto sips his drink, "…and that's why ju' should never leave a woman in jour car unattended. I mean, you have things in jour car that have your ACTUAL name on them, see?"

Santino nods and raises his glass in acknowledgement. Santino looks around and does a double-take at a rather flustered-looking man at the other end of the bar. Drink in hand, he elbows Alberto and nods his head over in the direction the gentleman is sat.

Alberto almost spits out his drink, as he's so surprised.

Santino says, "Hey eh-loooook, it's Paul the Heyman—he use to own the ECW's. I know how much of a fan you were of the ECW's—you should go over and talk to him, we should be good on the time."

Alberto approaches Paul…

Alberto smiles and says, "Hello, Paul. My name is Alberto Del Rio, and I've ALWAYS been a fan of your work in ECW!

Heyman looks around and asks, "The IRS didn't follow you over here did they?"

Alberto shakes his head, "Um…No. Mr. Heyman, I don't mean to intrude, but as a longtime fan, I have a couple questions if ju don't mind answering some of them? I'll keep the drinks coming!

Heyman shrugs and says, "Ok, guy, what'cha got?

"Ok, ju' speak of finances, right? Well, the question I've always wanted to ask you is: How can you be a Jew, yet not know how to manage money?"

Heyman answers matter-of-factly, "I think the answer is fairly obvious. I'm adopted. I'm actually of Irish decent."

Alberto snidely mutters, "Well that explains your massive head. Why didn't you get someone to look over the books when Tod Gordon left?"

Heyman replies, "Because ECW was my baby and I didn't want anyone else controlling it."

Del Rio pleads, "But ju' could have kept total artistic control.'

Heyman says flatly, "I wanted control of every aspect of ECW."

Del Rio thinks for second and figures, "Umm…lemme guess, you were in debt to the Philadelphia mob and needed the money to keep from being killed?"

Heyman sips his drink, "Bingo. I can't go to Philadelphia to this day. How is it?"

Alberto rolls his eyes and replies, "Shitty. We just had a house show there a couple weeks ago"

Heyman asks, "Hey, did that odor ever clear up?"

"Actually it did. As soon as Jasmine St. Claire left…oddly enough. "

Heyman frowns and says, "You know, she turned me gay, actually in 1998. It's funny that everyone thought Joey Styles was the biggest fag in ECW but it was me."

Alberto points out, "Hey, I heard she turned the Blue Meanie gay a year later, too."

Heyman nods, "Yep, she's responsible for creating more queers than an all-male boarding school."

Alberto sips his drink a couple times, thinking carefully. He finally asks, "Hey, why were you so obsessed with getting Justin Credible over at all costs, even though the entire population hated him?"

Heyman shrugs, "Well, I think Justin Credible was a great world champion. He had a great run in ECW. From driving Douglas, Sabu and Sandman out of the company. To his feud with Tommy Dreamer..."

Del rio asks, "Was Vince was paying you under the table to kill your company?"

Heyman nods and replies, "Yes. And what could kill a company better than putting the title on Aldo Montoya?"

Alberto asks, "Well, riddle me this, senor-Is it true that ju' only pushed the Dudleys because they were doing a lot of office work that ju' couldn't afford to pay them for?"

Heyman nods, "That's also true. They're my good friends, they did a lot of work for me, but I had to work like a motherfucker to get them over. I had to beg Gertner to do dick jokes during their entrance to get them over. I had to beg everyone that wrestled them to sell their shitty moves. I even had to beg fans to pretend like they got offended by their mic work. "

Alberto smirks a little and asks, "Well, what is jour biggest regret?"

Heyman answers simply, "That I blew all of ECW's money on male whores and casinos, duh! Oh, and that 911guy. Hey, I'm sorry about that one,that was Tod's idea. And I'm sorry for the Dupp Family also. I drank 3 bottles of gin the day I agreed to hire them."

Del Rio looks around and then back at Paul. He asks, "Why were you obsessed with small guys like Spike Dudley and Taz squashing larger guys? "

Heyman sips his drink and explains, "Ok…Well, ECW catered to the internet and the average height of an Internet wrestling community member is 5'4. I felt they'd get a kick out of it...well, I guess you're a lot taller than 5'4."

Alberto replies, "Yeah, but I'm not one of those IWC bitches—I actually WRESTLE, haha! Those wrestling nerds wouldn't let me join because I'm not a virgin, but meh…fuck 'em.

Del Rio orders another round of drinks and Heyman asks, "So, did you know that Raven's pissed at you about what you wrote about him on your Facebook page?"

Alberto laughs a little and answers, "Ha! I can take him. Have you seen 'Forever Hardcore'?

Heyman frowns and answers emphatically, "Hell no! Anything with Jeremy Bore-ass and Shane Douglas' names on it won't be getting a dime from me!"

Heyman takes a long sip from his glass and he continues, "Yeah, fuck Shane Douglas! I was ECW, not HIS broken down ass! He runs around talking about how much smarter he is than everyone else in wrestling, but then he records himself trying to get a crowd chanting ECW? See you in court with Vince, Einstein!"

Alberto laughs and says, "Yeah, what a dumb bastard."

Heyman does a double take at Del Rio and takes another sip from his drink. He looks at him straight and asks, "So, you really like ECW, huh?"

Alberto nods, "It was the best wrestling promotion ever. Jou're a living legend. I just regret that I wasn't part of it."

Heyman asks, "Ok then, ever show your appreciation?"

Del Rio sips his drink and nods, "Well, I spent tons of money on it, senor."

Heyman shakes his head and says, "Um, no…I mean your appreciation towards me."

" Well, ju' spent all the money I gave ECW on-on gambling a-and drugs."

Heyman quietly says, "How about you REALLY show me how much you appreciated ECW?"

"What do ju' mean?"

Heyman looks around and says quietly, but not whispering, "I know you know what I mean. How about you show your appreciation by letting me have sex with you?"

"Paul, no way!"

"Oh, come on, rock stars get laid out of appreciation for their hard work and hours of entertainment all the time. Why can't a wrestling writer?"

"Paul, I respect ju', but I'm not letting ju' fuck me in the ass. I'm not gay."

Heyman explains, "It's the new millennium, Alberto. Taking it in the ass doesn't make you gay. If it did, your entire male roster in the WWE would technically be homosexual. You're only gay if you get aroused during the process."

Alberto, starting to feel a bit uncomfortable, thinks quick and excitedly says, "Uhh...Hey, look! It's New Jack! "

Heyman suddenly makes a break out of the restaurant yelling, "OH SHIT!"

Heyman runs out of the bar in fear as Alberto breathes a sigh of relief. He motions for Santino, pays the bar tab, and they head down the road.

So finally, we'll look in on Sheamus and Natalya, as they've found a rest stop…

Sheamus is sitting at a picnic table just trying to relax. Natalya is in the restroom, so let's join her in there, as she's at the sink…

"Hmm-hm-hm-hmm…", She hums her entrance theme song to herself as she washes her hands.

Another lady approaches the sink next to Natalya and starts washing her hands and then starts applying lipstick. She turns and squints at Natalya, as if to be trying to recognize her.

Natalya sees this out of the corner of her eye and, after a couple more moments, she finally turns and asks, "Um, may I HELP you with something?"

The lady blinks twice and nervously laughs, "I-I'm sorry, it's just that you look SO familiar!"

Natalya nods and says, "Oh…ok, then."

"Um, sorry to bother you, but don't you wrestle for WWE?"

"Yes…yes I do, why?"

"Well…I USED to work for WWE—my name's Torrie Wilson."

Natalya's eyes widen in surprise, "Torrie! I'm so sorry I didn't recognize you! How've you BEEN?"

Torrie smiles and replies, "Oh, I'm just fine, thanks! I decided to get my hair cut short and my modeling career has taken new heights!"

"Aww…that's wonderful!"

Torrie smirks a little and says, "Lemme' guess—you're on the beer and porn run, huh?"

Natalya sighs and nods, "Yeah, 'fraid so, haha! Hey, you don't want to come with, do you?"

Torrie says, "Oh, I'm sorry, but I can't—I have a MAJOR meeting in, like a couple hours. But, I wish you all the best with this—hope you win!

Torrie and Nat continue to talk for a few more minutes and in the meantime, Sheamus is checking his cellphone for the time, wishing Natalya would hurry up.

Sheamus says to himself, "Geez…did she fall IN the toilet, or something?"

Finally, Natalya comes out with a big grin on her face.

Sheamus says, "Well, gee lass—I thought you might've fallen INTO the loo! What happened?"

Natalya replies, "I ran into Torrie Wilson! I didn't recognize her at first because she cut her hair, but, yeah—it was her!"

Sheamus smiles and shakes his head. "C'mon lass, let's go. Oh, did she want to come along?"

Natalya says, "No, she said that she has a major meeting in a couple hours."

Sheamus shrugs and mumbles to himself, "Damn…I'd have given my left arm to be able to stare at her legs for the remainder of this trip! Gaaaaah!"

"Did you say something, Shame?

He shakes his head as he semi-dejectedly gets in his "car".

I'll end this here this time, besides, I'm tired of typing tonight. Sue me.

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Tune in next time—same Warrior time, same Warrior place, same Warrior channel!