A/N: I have one final chapter planned for this work, so this dastardly ride is nearing its end. Don't forget to review!
I'll end the author's note with this powerful quote...
"It was easy enough to kill yourself in a fit of despair. It was easy enough to play the martyr. It was harder to do nothing. To endure your life. To wait." - Erica Jong.
Chapter 6: Cutting The Strings
There were two extraneous souls in that hollow, and if they were to be spared the wrath of the verbal firestorm, they would need to be evacuated.
Jewel hurled a sharp glare at the nervous party duo and declared, "Nico, Pedro, you need to leave... now. I think you should plan on not hearing from us for a while."
The birds nodded and shuffled backwards rapidly, saying, "Uh sure, Jewel! Catch you around.. sometime..."
They were darting away from the tree moments later, soon lost in the all-encompassing glare of Rio's sunshine.
Cobalt, his eyes narrowed, stared squarely at his up-bringers and asked, "Well? Are you just going to stand there and say nothing?"
Blu squirmed in the nest, his beak trembling visibly.
"Cobalt, Sapphire, Azura, I... we..."
Blu, at a loss for words, administered Jewel a telling nudge, a pleading look in his hazel eyes. Shaking her head, she hopped from the nest and froze.
"My children, seven years ago, your father and I cooked up a plan to... boost our numbers. You three were but a few weeks old, and we ferried you to Tulio while you were all sleeping to initiate the first step. He gave you medicine to force you to stay unconscious, and then we... split you up. We sent Sapphire with Nico and Pedro, and Azura went with Scarlet and Ashley. Cobalt, you stayed with us, thus completing the second step of the plan.
The medicine Tulio gave you was supposed to erase your memories, so that none of you would ever know you had any.. siblings... or parents Cobalt, we watched your... sisters grow up and become healthy, perfect, unique females.
We waited until each one of you was mature, and then it was time to begin the last step of our scheme. We did all this because we hoped... we hoped... we could bring two of you together and eventually see more chicks. We were close... so close... but we've failed. Seven years of our lives... wasted..."
As soon as Jewel stopped talking, she lapsed into a fit of tremors, at which point Blu rushed to her side and uttered soothing words.
Sapphire, the more outgoing child, found it near impossible to hold her emotions back. She took a few tentative steps towards them, coming up on Cobalt's right side, her whole body incredibly tense.
"How am I supposed to respond to this? I always thought... my parents were dead. I always thought... my sister and I were orphans, somehow found and raised by random birds. Sure, being brought up by two males was kind of awkward, but I grew to accept it. And a brother? I lived all seven years of my life blind, not knowing I had a brother?"
She strode even closer to the avian offenders, placing herself within wing-reach of Blu and Jewel.
"How? How could you do this to me? To us? You separated us... just because you wanted us to become mates... and have chicks? We were so young, so defenseless... you knew it was perfect!"
At this point, Sapphire's anger evolved into grief-stricken rage, her eyes welling with hot tears.
"You... exploited us... in every way possible! We weren't your children, we were your tools!"
Flinching back from her accusations, Blu sucked in a breath to try and defend himself and Jewel.
"Sapphire, please, we're on the brink of extinction! What else were we to do? How are we supposed to increase our numbers without-"
Sapphire rudely cut the life-shattering bird off, not feeling an ounce of regret: "Is t-that worth b-breaking your f-family up? It's not f-fair! Your p-plan failed, and I am g-glad. I hope you s-suffer for as long as y-you live, because we've been suffering s-silently ever since w-we were born! Just know t-that I will n-never lay eyes on you a-again! I h-hate you so deeply, y-you will never understand..."
Sapphire backed away from her stunned parents and approached her long-lost brother. She embraced him tightly, dampening his upper body with her ceaseless tears.
Stifling back a whimper, she pulled back and muttered, "Cobalt, my b-brother, I this is g-goodbye for now. W-when you have escaped f-from the clutches of these m-monsters, I trust t-that you will come and s-see me. I'll be w-waiting. I love you..."
She gave him a final tender pat on the head and stumbled from the hollow, streaking away as fast as her wings would carry her.
The sound of her tormenting cries steadily faded, but they seemed to echo inside the tree, an audible reminder of her soul-wrenching anguish.
Blu and Jewel found it harrowing to deal with Sapphire's proclamation, but logic dictated that her decree was practically expected. They felt a terrible dread gnawing at their insides, for Azura's reaction was going to be twice as severe.
Azura brandished a vicious tone unlike any other she had ever used, to lash out at her treacherous parents.
"I can't believe you! As far as I'm concerned, you don't deserve me any longer. I am done with you both! This is strike two, you... you... insane dictators!"
She softened her twisted face as much as possible and gazed at Cobalt, her boyfriend-turned-brother.
She, too, could not resist the impulse to cry, soaking the floor with her secretions.
"Cobalt, the truth is out. I can't... love you romantically. You're my brother. There's... nothing more to say. I hope you'll still love me... like a sister. I can't stay here, in their presence, any further. May God help us all..."
The stricken male watched as Azura flew off without another word, her distraught retreat an exact mirror of Sapphire's.
Cobalt knew it was coming from the moment his sickening mother brought into light the explanation. Now that his suspicions were confirmed, he felt a sudden revulsion at viewing her as his girlfriend, and an even deeper level of disgust that he would have been coerced into... mating with her.
The realizations hacked him up from the inside out, bringing him inevitably back to the singular cause of the agony, the hatred, the horror: his parents.
He whirled around and bored deep into their personal space, inches from both of them.
"You stole me away from them, before I even knew who they were. You hid them away from me for seven years, all the while convincing me that I was an only child! And to top it all off, you expected me to... mate... with my own sister? How dare you!"
As if on cue, the third victim of the adult macaws' appalling conduct unleashed a torrent of water from his eyes. Blu and Jewel were so thoroughly traumatized that they could only splutter their replies.
The male could only whimper, "Cobalt... I'm sorry... we're sorry. We did what we thought... was best. We never meant to... hurt you like this. We never meant for any of you... to find out. But please... don't leave us! We can't lose our last child..."
Ignoring his desperate pleas, Cobalt stiffened and locked eyes with the male.
"Oh, but you d-did! You took delight... in seeing that your... dastardly scheme was running so smoothly. You sucked pleasure out of the situation like leeches, fueling your own desires... at our expense! Like you always told me... Blu... revenge is a bitch."
Cobalt's harsh words caused Blu and Jewel to slump even further to the floor, dampening their eyes in the process. He affected a slight grin despite his broken-down state, pleased that he was inciting grief in their tarnished souls.
There was one last edict left for him to say, one he hoped would lacerate their minds as deeply as they had his.
"You never were my parents, as I was never your son. You were my masters, and I was your puny little puppet. Guess what? The show is over, and as of now, I'm cutting the strings!"
Cobalt relinquished himself to his inner beast, a conglomerate of all the murderous negativity bestowed upon him by Blu and Jewel.
In one swift movement, he sliced his right foot in an arc, barely grazing Jewel's chest but creating three respectable cuts on Blu's.
As the male staggered from the burn and gripped the area with his wings, Cobalt dashed off, tiny drops of blood collecting on the tips of his talons.
His mother's, no, Jewel's angered curses chased after Cobalt as he fled, but he paid no mind to them. By now, he was too far gone to seek repentance for his actions.
He wished for that wound to cause Blu endless pain for as long as possible, and for a lasting scar to form beyond that, a personal mark of Cain for the selfish male and his mate...
How I managed to stay aloft, despite the fact that my life had suddenly lost all meaning, was a mystery to me. The thoughts that played over and over in my head were like honed swords, stabbing my sense of worth, my sense of self, without pause.
"They nurtured me to carry out one diabolical mission, acting as if nothing was wrong for all seven years I have lived. And to think that they actually cared about me, actually loved me. No, they needed me alive for when the time came to execute the end stage of their scheme. They forsook me for a selfish task that was just prolonging the inevitable..."
Oh, how those thoughts carved up my mind, the sole cause of my tears and my uncontrollable shaking. Somehow, my muddled mind warned me that we would never recover as a species.
As soon as those evil macaws died, that was it. No more genuine Spix's Macaws would be born, and it would be only a matter of time before my sisters and met death's embrace as well, preferably by old age.
I would not, could not, mate with my sisters, since that would only give Blu and Jewel a victory that was seven years in the making.
No, I wanted, needed, them to suffer, make them pay for the ludicrous treachery they had committed towards me and my sisters. My tears were plain evidence that I was feeling unspeakably terrible, and if that wasn't enough, my body was wracked with an ache so profound, it defied explanation.
I drove myself hard, flapping my wings forcefully, although I knew that no amount of distance would heal the raw wounds left upon my soul.
More than once during my flight, I fought back the urge to vomit, unsure if it was a response to my physical exhaustion or my mental disarray.
After some time, I could no longer endure the strain of flying in my shattered state. I careened into the hollow of an aged banana tree, one that was seemingly deserted. After recovering from my rough landing, I noticed a frail nest in the corner, the sole artifact left behind by the tree's former inhabitants.
My feet lagging as if made of lead, my wings hanging limply at my sides, I slogged over to the nest. I reclined in it sideways, my back facing the entrance, yet I felt not a shred of comfort from my discovery. Nothing at that point harbored the power to lift my mood even the slightest amount.
"The birds I looked up to for seven years, the birds who shaped me in every way possible, had murdered me on the inside. I have no idea of who they are anymore, but even more heart-wrenching is that I don't even know who I am anymore. To say that I will never be the same is a bold understatement. My mentality is warped, my soul has been gutted, and my life is in ruins..."
As these notions fastened themselves to my brain like snakes constricting their prey, I found it difficult to remain conscious. Though my tear flow had finally dwindled, utter exhaustion slipped in as a replacement.
And so it was, with my eyes red, my mind in shambles, and my heart on fire, I drifted off to a land inhabited not by dreams, but by nightmares.
All throughout the silent torment, demons masquerading as my former parents taunted me, forcing me to endure their treacherous explanations in a never-ending horror show. There was a third demon who taunted me as well, but all he could say was: "Suicide."
Trapped and burning in that land of evil and deceit, I began to embrace his monotonous chant. Slowly but surely, I made the choice to obey that word, a word that no longer sounded vile or bitter. I had little purpose, little significance to the world, being that my status as breeding stock was now null and void.
I was but a pawn, a minor piece that was abused by the king and queen on the chess board of life. I was expendable; no one would care what happened to me, what became of me.
Azura and Sapphire were not enough to save me from myself. I would make sure they never saw me again, that there would be no body to mourn.
When Hell decided to send me back to the realm of the living, I would end my life. At the same time, I would end the agony, end the heartbreak, end the existence of the broken soul known as Cobalt.
When I awoke, many hours later I presumed, the air carried a certain chill and heaviness.
"It doesn't matter. I am staying true to my word. Death is the only way I can find respite. Death is the only way I can be healed..."
My energy seemed to have been restored during my time in Hell, as if it had been granted so that I may orchestrate my removal from this planet and all its tribulations. As I thrust myself from the hollow, I found myself struggling against a breeze flowing out of the east.
The clouds above were thick and gray, heralding the arrival of a mighty storm. Nonetheless, I powered my way into the wind, roughly divining the location of the bay, the site that was to be my grave.
"What better place to bury my body than in the salty water of the bay? All I have to do is drown myself, and then my lifeless body will sink to the bottom, never to be seen again by the eyes of the living. My death will be slow and painful, but that's not much of a change compared to how my life has been today. Why should I even care?"
I fought my way out of the sanctuary and was soon swallowed up by the urban jungle that was Rio de Janeiro.
The patter of raindrops on my wings signaled the beginning of what would most likely be a torrent of heavenly liquid. The strike frequency only increased as I sliced my way through the wind, which by now hardly qualified as a mere breeze.
The clouds seemed to be piling up above the city, a floating mountain driven inland by the sea-based gale. I had yet to lay eyes on the stretch of water that Rio encircled, but as the buildings slid by beneath me, I knew I was getting closer.
My vision was reduced dramatically as the gentle downpour morphed into pounding sheets of rain. The blustery winds only whipped the rain around that much harder, stinging my eyes and soaking me down to my skin.
Such rapid weather changes were common to Rio, but this time, it was a force that was pitted against me, hindering the path to my grisly goal.
"How much more mistreatment am I going to endure before my life is cut short?" I thought scathingly.
I zigzagged back and forth, flying diagonal to the wind, a maneuver that boosted my forward progress noticeably.
After five minutes of drifting back and forth through the howling winds and random walls of rain, the biting scent of churning saltwater engulfed me.
I performed a steep dive with my eyes closed, a feat I knew was dangerous, for I could bring about my demise in an unfit manner. Eventually, the rushing sound of sloshing water was audible even above the keening of the wind.
I opened my eyes and brought myself into a difficult hover, spying a waterlogged beach beneath me, bearing the brunt of numerous whitecaps and blasts of spray.
The secret to my departure from this world and its cruel inhabitants lay just beneath the surface.
Inevitably, pangs of regret squeezed my gut as images of Sapphire and Azura formed within my head. For several moments, a divine urge to turn back and spare myself gripped me, to reunite with my siblings and help them move on.
But, for one last time, the demon spoke that seven letter word to me, and my doubts were washed away, lost in the depths of the very water I was prepared to drown myself in. I coerced myself to send up a final prayer, its target being the two beings I had come to love... in more ways than one.
"Azura, Sapphire, though I will soon be gone, please do not mourn for me. Instead, focus on healing each other, because even though my life is over, yours are still fresh. You both have families to comfort you and guide you out of the darkness. I, however, have no one else to support me. I will never forget you, and I trust that you won't forget me either. I love you both so very much..."
With a final plunge, I began my descent towards the violent bay, the salty spray beckoning to me, yearning me to give myself up to its chilling depths. I released one crushing sigh, closed my eyes, and braced myself for impact...
As much as Cobalt wanted to snuff his life force out by drowning himself, the whims of nature would consign him to a different, much more bloody fate. As he fell towards the rogue waves like a comet, a wild surge of air nullified his forward motion, sending him into a crazed backwards tumble.
He spun and spun, unable to right himself, confused as to why the impact had never occurred. He threw his eyes open and caught a glimpse of a pair of ghostly beams below him, sneaking through the fury of the storm unaffected.
"Why can't I break out of this free-fall? Damn it, this isn't where I want to go!"
It was then that his downward spiral was abruptly stopped.
The disoriented Cobalt felt himself collide with a solid wall of unyielding material, and then he lost all sensation...
"Devagar, Reynaldo! Você não sabe como é perigoso para a velocidade durante uma tempestade?" {Slow down, Reynaldo! Do you not know how dangerous it is to speed during a thunderstorm?}
The man known as Reynaldo gripped the steering wheel of his forest green Dodge Dakota tightly in response to his wife's pleading words. The speedometer read 81 kph, or approximately 50 mph.
Even with the wipers racing back and forth at top speed, they could barely keep the torrents of rain off of the windshield. The headlights were cranked up to maximum brightness, granting him unsettling visibility of the road ahead at best.
Despite the danger of driving at such elevated speeds on the slick roadway, he did so in the hopes that he could get his family home that much faster.
To his left, past the relatively-clear driver's side window, he caught glimpses of the usually calm bay thrashing about like a liquid beast.
As he rounded a bend, he felt the vehicle lose traction and begin to fishtail.
Having been through this situation many times before, he released the gas and counter-steered, quickly bringing his vehicle back under control.
The Dakota jerked as its tires grabbed at the asphalt, straightening the truck out in the process, but Reynaldo had little time to celebrate his accomplishment.
"Você vê? Você vai acabar nos matando! Eu não me importo se ela nos leva meia hora para chegar em casa. Devagar!" {You see? You're going to get us all killed! I don't care if it takes us half an hour to get home. Slow down!}
Despite having lived in Rio his entire life, he did not take brushes with death lightly. He struggled to calm his shaking hands and relented to his wife's orders.
"Bem, bem, eu vou devagar! Eu só espero que esta tempestade não durar muito mais tempo..." {Fine, fine, I'll slow down! I just hope this storm doesn't last for too much longer...}
His wife's expression was openly displeased, and so he turned away, only to catch the fearful expressions of his twin daughters in the rear-view mirror. Storm or not, he would not endanger them any more than the situation warranted, and so he slid his foot over to the brake pedal.
He depressed it for a full five seconds, bring his speed down to 60 kph. He received a stern nod of agreement from his wife, causing him to sigh as he swiveled his gaze back to the road.
What happened next was beyond comprehension, the last thing they imagined would occur right in the middle of such a downpour.
Without warning, a blue shape came hurtling out of the griseous sky, slamming directly into the windshield's right side. There was a dreadful crunch as the windshield cracked, becoming riddled with countless fracture lines.
However, as Reynaldo brought the vehicle to a rapid stop and threw it into park, his wife Griselda let out a mortified scream.
There, nestled on the seat between them, was a sodden bird's wing, tinted a rich blue. The reason she screamed, however, was because her face was spattered with blood.
"Griselda, você está bem?" {Griselda, are you alright?}
Two more shrieks erupted from the backseat as the twins pointed at the sheet of glass in front of them. As Reynaldo looked up, he noticed the wipers were frozen, caught on a large feathery lump.
"Meu Deus... que não pode ser real..." {My God... that can't be real...}
The mangled form of a bird was plastered to the half-destroyed windshield, its remaining wing twisted at a sickening angle.
Its head and neck had burrowed through the glass, while the other half of its body remained outside, the forces involved responsible for shattering the protective screen.
The bird's head hung upside down, its face oriented towards the roof in a stone-solid glare. The driver cautiously leaned closer to examine its kinked neck, only to spy a sliver of white poking up from the throat about halfway down.
With the rain unable to enter the truck's interior, blood dripped steadily from its heavily-lacerated, regrettably broken neck. Its eyes were fully sealed shut, leading Reynaldo to believe it had died instantly.
He cringed away from the incredibly nauseating sight and used his sleeve to wipe the caked blood from his wife's face, thankful that both she and his daughters had stopped screaming.
"Minha querida, está tudo bem? Você se machucou?" {My dear, is everything okay? Are you hurt?}
With a choked voice, she replied, "Sim. Mas... temos que lidar com isso... pobre pássaro! Não há nenhuma maneira... ela poderia ter sobrevivido..." {Yes. But... we have to deal with that... poor bird! There's no way... it could have survived...}
Unable to keep her gaze trained on the tragic sight, she peered unflinchingly down at her feet.
He gave her a string of reassuring pats on the shoulder before craning his head around to check up on his daughters.
"Lisbeth? Carmen? E você?" {Lisbeth? Carmen? What about you?}
They, too, averted their gazes, nodding their heads briskly in response to his query.
He plucked the severed wing from the seat and tossed it gently on the dashboard, beneath the victim's entry site. He dared not touch the disfigured creature, being as its ruined body served to plug the very hole it created.
He then stripped off his shirt and spread it out on Griselda's lap as a means to mop up the trickles of scarlet draining from the askew neck.
He changed the gear back to drive and slowly pressed on the gas pedal. Keeping his gaze fixed on the road ahead, he muttered, "Há apenas um lugar que podemos ir para … corrigir este problema: o santuário de aves de propriedade de Linda e Tulio..." {There's only one place that we can go to... fix this problem: the bird sanctuary owned by Linda and Tulio...}
Reynaldo motored slowly down down the bay-side road, planning out the route to the Blu Bird Sanctuary in his head.
None of the four humans spoke another word during the trip, each sending up a silent eulogy for the beautiful bird who, right in front of their faces, met a most grotesque fate...