Hello, my loyal followers! How are you all this lovely evening? Can you guess why I am in such a chipper, elated mood? (Yes, it also pertains to why I'm using big words.) That's right folks, I am officially done with college, I took my final final of my undergrad life and I'm now a college graduate! Now, on to some very depressing news, I'm moving :( I don't want to, but because of everything going on at the moment, from the tornado to my health concerns, I'm moving back to my home town, so here's the deal, I have no internet at home at the moment and my mom refuses to get any until we get into our new apartment, so that means updates won't be coming often, but stick with me because I won't abandon you or my stories, I plan on getting internet just as soon as I get a job, so only a month or so. But please leave lovely reviews as I will check those on a daily basis from my phone, I love hearing from my fans.
Now, onto a review I received about the Jacob/Bella relationship. I'm going to let all of you in on my thoughts for a few moments so you can maybe understand why that chapter was a bit different from the others. First of all, the dark days are over, you all can breath easy, Jake is gone for the time being, (possible sequel, probably). But I think his and Bella's relationship, which yes, I do call a real relationship, even though Bella thought she was broken and couldn't love (we all know that's wrong though, she does love quiet a few people, and the big one you will find out in the first part of this chapter). Well, she needed to have that relationship with Jacob in order to see the extreme opposite of her true love. This chapter does touch upon Jake/Bella relationship and I hope that you guys understand why Bella felt that she could have a real relationship, because, that's what I wanted her to have, I didn't want Edward to be her first real, long-term relationship, granted they've dated, but it wasn't serious, Bella keep herself at a distance that she didn't with Jacob, because that is how I wanted it to be, plus, Bella really needed to find her way to her true love and I think it was done perfectly, oh and PS, Edward wasn't hurt, that was another review I had, nope, he simple didn't move because that was what he was taught. I hope this answered/helped you guys understand a bit about the Jake/Bella thing.
Also, I'm blogging, www(dot)wrathofthehooker(dot)blogspot(dot)com
"Rose, I don't know what to do," I told my friend, I'd left Jane with Alice and Emmett and drove the four hours into Seattle just to talk to Rosalie while she was on break. I didn't even go to our Saturday morning breakfast, I really needed to see what I was feeling.
"Bella?" Rosalie asked as I walked into the empty coffee shop in the late afternoon.
"Edward told me that he loves me."
"Oh, god, what do you want? I'll pay." I told her what I wanted and set down. I called Alice to see how Jane was, assuring them that I was fine, I just had something I needed to work out. Rosalie handed me the coffee as I was saying good bye to Jane.
"How do know when you are in love?"
"I've known I was in love with Em since I first meet him, my heart would race, my palms where sweaty when we began talking, we became friends first, I think that's how we've stayed together for all these years. He is my best friend, the person I can tell anything to, if I'm having a bad day, he makes me smile, if we are fighting, he still watches over me. Does Edward make you smile?"
"Always, I think I might love him, but I never knew I had love to give, I mean, I have a daughter, she's my whole life. So, how will I survive when he leaves for New York?"
"Yea, he called last night. Bella, all I'm going to say is that you and Edward have always been an item, even when you where not together, he was watching you. Drove Dana insane. He worried about you each time you skipped classes, when he saw you get on the bike, he was scared, almost called Charlie a few times."
"I wish he had," I muttered.
"If he had, you would have ran, Jane would have been left without a mother," Rosalie told me, rubbing my arm as the bell rang at the door. "I'll be right back." She got up and went to help the costumer.
Charlie had been tiptoeing around me at that time, because of Jane, he didn't want me running away, away from Jane. At that time, if Charlie had found out about my ditching, he would have reached the end of his temper, there would have been words and I would have left, in my anger, I would have ran with Jacob.
My saving grace that day had been Edward, he'd seen me, reminding me of Jane, of the little girl that loved me. He'd seen me, and even then, I wanted to do right by his eyes, I didn't want to ditch on my biggest responsibility.
"You've been thinking," Rosalie said as she came back to the table.
"The day Jacob wanted me to leave with him, some where in my hung over state, I still wanted to do right in Edward's eyes, he's always seen me as a good mother to Jane, but me leaving, well it would have destroyed me in Edward's eyes and I couldn't have that."
"Bella, that's love."
I slumped back in my seat, I knew she was right, I was just dancing around the subject. "I didn't think I was capable of love, Rose."
"We are all capable of love, just remember that."
I smiled. Rosalie and I talked for awhile longer before I began the drive back.
"Bella, Tessa" Jane's day-care director Misty said. "We want to take the kids to the community center today, to swim, is that okay?"
"That's fine, just put her in a swimmer diaper and it will be good, but I'm really late for a meeting with a teacher at school. Bye"
I darted back out the door, Tessa giving me a weird look, but I didn't want to tell her what I was working on.
"Hi, sorry I'm late, Jane's day care needed to talk to me about something," I said as I walked into the office of Mrs. Montgomery, my junior class counselor.
"Not a problem Bella. So, have you had that talk to your father about what we talked about the other day."
No, I wasn't in counseling, but I was talking with the school counselor because... well, we will get to that in a minute.
"Yes, I told him and we've talked about how we both felt during that time."
"Good, so I looked over your transcripts and what you are proposing has potential. We need to get you signed up for the ACT's that are in a month. Now, have you thought about any schools, I understand you want to go to New York. Have you thought about how this will affect Jane?"
"I've talked to one of the community colleges there, Borough of Manhattan Community College."
"Have you told anybody of your plans?"
"My father, after we had the talk about my ditching, he's okay with me picking up and moving."
"What about Edward? If you don't talk to him, it could make things hard when you show up on his doorstep with Jane. Look, I'll contact BMCC for you and we'll get what you need for admissions, then we'll look at other colleges near Julliard."
I nodded and heard the bell ring, signaling first period.
"Talk to Edward, he needs to know."
Okay, so I put off talking to Edward about my plans. Halloween came and we where not together, we where really taking to get to understand my fears, but everyday we inched closer to the day Edward left for Julliard.
For Halloween, Emmett and Rosalie drove in and Jane dressed up as a princess, she had this nice pink dress that puffed out at the skirt, and we got her a real crown, Rosalie let us borrow her prom queen crown.
"Mommy, Ed, look at me," Jane squealed in delight, twirling around in her dress, really enjoying the time. Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett where still getting ready at the Cullen's, Edward was over here, helping me get Jane ready. Tessa and Micheal would be showing up soon.
"Jane, why don't you go upstairs and grab your trick or treat bag." Jane ran off, having a wonderful time. "Edward," I turned to him, "we need to talk."
"I hate when those words come out of your mouth," he said, grabbing my hand. "I actually wanted to talk to you about something."
"Why don't you go first," I told him.
"Well, I'd like to go steady with you, I want to be your boyfriend again."
"I would love that, Edward," I said, he leaned down and kissed me.
"Now, what do you want to talk to me about?"
"Well, you know how I've been having those meetings," he nodded and I continued, "well, it was with Mrs. M, and we've been talking about my chances of graduating-"
"Bella, did your time with Jacob cause a problem with you graduating on time?"
"No, stop interrupting me. I can actually graduate early, I'm all signed up to graduate in May," I told him.
"Bella, that means you'll be able to start college a semester after me," he said.
"Edward, I've been looking into colleges, in New York. Jane and I can't be away from you, it's just not possible. Jane cried when you went for the orientation, she wailed and was worst than when I was with Jacob."
"Bella, I'd love it if you joined me out in New York, why where you scared to tell me."
"We weren't really together, I didn't want it to seem stalker like."
"You and Jane are my family, you could never been a stalker in my eyes, I love you, there I said it, I don't care how you feel, if you feel like you can't love me now, that's fine, but I want you to know, I won't say it again until you are ready."
"Edward, there's something else-" I started but a knocking at the door stopped my talking, I let my head roll back, "not again."
"Knock knock," I heard Tessa just before a prince came running in. Jane and Micheal had decided to collaborate on what they wanted to be, so they where a prince and princess.
"Later," Edward whispered, gripping my hand and helping me to a standing position. He never dropped my hand, we where once again a couple.
"Mike," Jane ran down the stairs as the others piled into my fathers house. Emmett was once again dressed as a pirate, the same costume from her first Halloween. Rosalie and Alice where in their boyfriends football uniforms, Jasper was a security guard. Edward and I had decided not to dress up as I'd be running after Jane most of the night.
"Jane," Michael ran up and hugged Jane. Tessa and I shared a smile, to bad that Jane and I'd be moving after this year.
We where finally able to get out of the house and everybody enjoyed the night. Edward and I even got busted sharing a small kiss by Emmett.
"Whoa..." Emmett yelled as Edward and I shared a slight kiss. I blushed, pulling away. "When did this happen?"
"Tonight," Edward said, never looking away from my eyes. I smiled up at him, he cracked that crooked smile that I loved.
"'Bout damn time," Emmett boomed and went to find Jane, I'm sure he wanted to tell her the great news.