Disclaimer: Be serious…you oughta' know by now that I don't own anything.

Welcome baaaaaack! Last we left off, Natalya was complaining about one of her travel companions and JR found a new partner. However, we're going to join up with Alberto and Santino, as they're approaching the small town of Ardmore, OK…

Santino sees the sign for Ardmore and asks, "Hmm, the Ardmoooooore…I wonder what's in…Aaaardmore?"

Del Rio shrugs and says, "To tell the truth, I've never even HEARD of Ardmore. "

So they drive ahead for a few more miles and stores start to gradually appear on the horizon in front of them. Del Rio says, "Hm, this cute little town must be Ardmore. Hey, check THAT out, eh? They even have a Wal-Mart!"

Santino points out, "Hey, did you see that signs we just eh-pass?"

Alberto smiled and said, "Yeah, we're almost to Dallas, just 110 more miles, eh?"

As they drive along, they start to see fruit stands along the road. Alberto points out, "Damn…all these FRUIT stands…"

Santino notices a clean-looking, but slightly unshaven man in a beige shirt, beige khakis, and black dress shoes on the side of the road, selling oranges and thumbing for a ride.

Santino squints and starts, "HEY, is that—"

Alberto smiles and says, "No fucking way! No way! Look at his big ass, selling oranges along the highway! HA!"

They pull over and all three of them look at each other, hesitate for a moment, and then all of them start hugging and shaking hands and laughing.

Alberto smiles and says, "Heeeeeey Senor Batista! What's up, my man?"

Batista takes off his sunglasses and smiles. He replies, "Eh, I'm just here trying to get to Dallas, homes."

Suddenly, a bright idea hits Alberto. Alberto snaps his fingers and says, "Suddenly a bright idea hit me!" (Yeah, yeah…I know how original I am.)

He points to Batista and asks Santino, "So, whadd'you think?"

Santino nods and says, "Eh-suuuure, suuure. Eh, senor Batista, we're on our way to Dallas right now! You can come along if you like!"

Batista looks at the two of them and asks, "You don't mind, do you? I mean—are you sure?"

Alberto nods and says, "Of course, my brother. Come along, it wouldn't be right to just leave you here thumbing for rides and selling oranges! C'mon, hop in!"

Before Batista climbs in, he smiles and asks Alberto, "The beer and porn run, right?"

Alberto shrugs and Batista climbs in the "car" laughing a little and shaking his head.

So now Santino, Alberto, AND Batista hop in Alberto's sombrero-car and zoom off toward Dallas.

As they do that, let's go see Kofi and CM Punk, as they've decided to stop at the Walmart in Ardmore…

CM looks around incredulously and scratches his head. He finds a cashier and asks, "Hey, what gives? There's nothing in this store except cowboy hats and barbecue sauce!"

The cashier smiles and replies, with a southern drawl, "Wail, the supplies we hayve are made to be specific to this here region, cutie. Most people 'round these parts like wearin' cowboy hats and we gots 'ta have our barbecue—we take it ver' seriously round yonder."

CM looks around the store and sees aisle after aisle of cowboy hats. He turns around and sees aisle after aisle of barbecue sauce. He shakes his head, holds up his hands and scurries out of the store.

He gets in the car and says, "Kofi, you would NOT believe that this joint ONLY sells cowboy hats and barbecue sauce!"

Kofi reaches behind his seat and gets out a cowboy hat and puts it on. He smiles and replies, "I KNOW, mon! All me wanted was a grape soda, but 'de cashier, she talk me into buyin' a cowboy hat! What I can't seem to believe is how I ALLOWED her to talk me INTO it, mon!"

CM says, "Well, believe it or not—after seeing all that BBQ sauce—I want some ribs all of a sudden. What the hell, dude?"

Kofi, being somewhat familiar with this general area, mentions, "Hey, I know a rib joint up the road a piece—D'Lo Brown works there!"

CM waves him off and replies, "Man, please…I don't even FEEL like dealing with D'lo Brown, c'mon, dude."

Kofi asks, "Well, why, mon? D'lo's good people."

CM turns to Kofi and sighs. He finally explains, "Kofi, if we go down there, I'm telling you he's GOING to want to come with us! You KNOW how he IS! He's going to beg and whine and likely make up some sort of sob story to get us to take him along—HELL no! And besides, he already had a couple of opportunities for this thing, here! So NO, I'm not…down with the Brown this time."

Kofi shakes his head and says, "Ah well, see you 'round, D'lo mon…"

So they pull out of the WalMart parking lot and head back down the highway. Lastly, we'll look in on good ol' JR and Stone Cold…

"So what kind of beer and what kind of porn Vince after THIS time?"

Ross replies, "Uh…it's uh…a fifth of Ouzo and the latest issue of Pervy Preggos."

Steve smirks and asks, "So what cock-a-mamie shop he got us travellin' to THIS time?"

Ross sighs and says, "Well, apparently this place is called 'Frank's Porn Shack, Funeral parlor, and Liquor Store.' Vince says it's in Dallas."

Steve replies, "You know, I remember the first one of these run I had to do for his sorry ass! I was wondering how he knew about all these odd, unlisted places in these big-assed cities. And ya' wanna' know what? I'm STILL wondering how he knows about all these places."

JR shrugs and replies, "Well him and Linda are always getting into it—moreso now than even in the past! I mean, a lot of times, we can't even get through a creative meeting without hearing a battle of wits between the McMahon family—it's MAINLY Vince and Linda, but sometimes it'll be Shane, Steph and Triple H!"

Steve shakes his head, saying, "Damn son, the more things just stay the same."

JR rolls his eyes, "Steve, you have NO idea! It's gotten worse since you left full-time TV. For instance, just a few days ago, we were in a creative meeting for SmackDown and Triple H and Stephanie couldn't agree on who should be in the main event. Well, SOMEHOW, the disagreement degenerated into Triple H airing his wife's dirty laundry about her excessive eating habits, Steph retaliated saying something along the lines of 'I've seen chicken bones bigger than your dick', or something like that, anyway."

Stone Cold laughs aloud, pounding the dashboard. He says, "Well DAMN, son, you took me back to the days—hey JR, remember when I used to get those two started at one another? Maaaaaaan Triple H used to get PISSED when he finally would make up with his wife—but, he never did anything about it—so I just kept at it, hahahaaa!"

JR smiles a little and replies, "Why yes I DO remember—aww, that was evil, Steve, hehehe. But it WAS gull-dern FUNNY, THAT'S the truth!"

"Ah memories…"

"Yep."

So that wraps up yet another chapter as JR and Austin ride off into the sunset, headed toward Dallas.

Tune in next time—same Warrior time, same Warrior place, same Warrior channel!