Disclaimer: Nope, I STILL don't own anything….keep trying, though.

Ok tonight, our superstars hit Dallas, just in time to enjoy the nightlife! Let's join up with Natalya and Sheamus, as they cruise the city looking for entertainment and lodging…

Natalya looks around and takes a deep breath, smiling, "Damn, I ALWAYS love when we come here! Hey Shame, there's this one bar that I ALWAYS go to whenever I'm here—we HAVE to go, PLEEEEEEASE!"

Sheamus smiles and says, "Sure lass, hold your horses—let's check into a hotel first and THEN we can go shake our arses!"

Natalya excitedly claps and points out, "Hey look over there, beyond that bridge! There's a Marriott!"

Sheamus shrugs, "Hmm…Marriott doesn't sound too bad, darlin' Let's go!"

So Sheamus and Nat head over to the hotel and they each get their rooms. They take their showers, change into their spare wrestling gear and head out for some nightlife!

Natalya hooks her arm under Sheamus'. She says, "Ok, check THIS out! That club I was talking to you about, is right across the way! It's called 'The Lone Star Café and Club'—Shame, this place is AWESOME!"

Sheamus gets in his "car" and nods, saying, "Ok then, let's check it out! Oh—and we should meet up tomorrow morning at 7, cool?"

Natalya nods in approval, "7 it is, then!"

Ok, as they head toward the club, let's join up with Alberto, Santino, and Batista who are already partying at a club called "Estampida". Alberto is dancing with a woman on either side of him. Batista has a crowd of maybe 7 women around him dancing—when he sat his oranges down, he gave a stern warning that no one better touch his oranges! However, Santino's up at the bar trying to chat up a young lady…

"…eh-yeeeeessssss. Ah-then Santino, he jumped up and spin-kicked Kane's head off! He did it eh-so hard that Kane had to go into the 10th row to retrieve it. Then-then, he defeated the Triple Haych, yessssss….1-2-3, in the middle of the ring! Then, all of a sudden—9 BIG guys came running out from the back and they surround the ring, yesssssss…"

Santino sips his drink and continues, as the young lady smiles and listens.

"…and then they all come into the ring at the same time and pile on a-Santino Marella! Well, I powered out from the bottom and the men, they scatter everywhere! Santino use his cobra and knocked each one over the top rope-ah…yesssssss!"

The young lady smiles at Santino and says, "Santino, you always were a good storyteller, ahahahahaaa!"

The music blaring, the lights were a dark bluish-red, and Santino couldn't fully see what this young lady looked like, but she seemed to be able to recognize him! Hmm...

Santino furrowed his brow, squinted, and leaned in closer, trying to recognize who it was that knew him. He says, "Uh…excuse me, but how do you know eh-Santino?"

The woman finished her drink, hopped down and proceeded to military-press Santino in the club. Santino was yelling, "AAAAAGH, PUT ME DOOOOWWWWN, AAAAARRRRRGH!"

The lady laughed as she gently placed him back on a stool and folded her arms. Just then, the song ended, and the lights came on momentarily. Santino couldn't believe his eyes, "OH MY GOD, I-IT'S YOU…IT'S THE BETH GLAMAZON!"

Beth folds her arms, smirking, "Santino, Santino…when will you EVER learn? You can't get women by LYING!"

Al right then—let's leave that scene and go to another one, with CM Punk and Kofi! They've decided to just check in to their hotel and stay in for the night it looks like. But…Kofi—what's HE up to at this hour?

Kofi's under the covers watching some porn. Kofi smiles and says to himself, "Now THIS is what de' dreams are made of, mon! Mon, nothing beats Jamaican porn! And this is one of me favorites, too! It's called 'Jamaican Jack-offs'! Starring Jack Hammer, Black-Ass Bertha, and my queen—Jowanda Juggz!"

So, as the movie continues, weird thoughts start to cross Kofi's mind.

"Hey, weird thoughts are crossing me mind, mon!"

That's when he sees Jowanda Juggz start to masturbate with a piece of jerk chicken! He says to himself, "Oh my GOD, can life GET any better?"

That's when the idea hits him. He's pretty much just lying in bed, a tent pitched right in the middle of the covers. He reaches over, digs in his duffelbag and pulls out a bottle of garlic curry that he happened to have on hand. He stared at the bottle, then at the pornstar..the bottle again, then at the pornstar, the bottle, then the pornstar…suddenly, his dick was out and he poured some of the curry on his hand and he started masturbating as the pornstar was on tv doing the same—again, only SHE was doing it with a piece of jerk chicken.

So after a few minutes, the feeling got so good to Kofi that it left his mind on how ridiculous he looked masturbating using curry as a lubricant. He came and came forcefully, too! He let out a satisfied sigh and said to himself, "Aaaaahhhh…now 'dats more LIKE it, mon!"

He gets up, grabs his shower gel—ocean scented, mmm! And he heads into his bathroom and takes a shower, paying special attention to his crotch area, where the curry was applied. He dries off and gets back into bed and falls asleep. However, as he climbs into bed, he notices that he keeps smelling a mixture of ocean breeze and…garlic. He looks down and shrugs it off, figuring the smell will be gone by tomorrow, and he falls asleep.

I'm going to end this here tonight. If you're wondering about JR and Stone Cold, well…JR stayed in and called his wife to check in on her. Stone cold went down to the hotel bar—they're at the Hyatt in Downtown Dallas—and he had a few drinks while he watched the football game. And yes, he told the bartender the ingredients in the drinks he wanted, and, between every ingredient named, the bar patrons shouted "WHAT?"

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Hey, tune in next time—same Warrior time, same Warrior place, same Warrior channel!