Disclaimer: I don't own a DAMN thing!


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Here we are again! Last we left off, we learned that Alberto has a reading issue, David Hart Smith works at a Sonic Drive-thru—and tends to get pissed off when people ask him for onion rings, and Vince? Well…what can I really say about Vince and Linda? Vince thought he got away, and linda called him back! However, we're going to zero in on JR and Stone Cold, as they've just hit Oklahoma City.

JR turns to Stone Cold, "Hey Steve, feel like a cold one?"

Stone Cold smiles and says, "Always! Where to?"

"Well, there's supposed to be some kind of bar and grille place—I think it's called 'The Friendly Tap'."

JR checks his Blackberry and says, "A-ha! Wow…I had no IDEA Ol' Tim White opened a place out here!"

Stone cold replies, "Hell son, you KNOW we need to stop by!"

They follow the next exit and pull into the parking lot. As they're parking, JR and Steve see a couple of guys literally flying out of the bar as if they're diving out of the way of a speeding car, or something.

JR points, "Steve, did you see THAT?"

Steve flashes an evil smirk and says, "Oh HELL yeah—I saw that! In fact, I think I'm getting' IN on this! You want any, JR?"

"No THANK you, Steve! If you just HAVE to get in the middle of this, be my guest."

The two make their way inside the restaurant, with Austin ducking a beer bottle as he goes through the doorway. JR sees that one guy is being held by his collar as another guy just repeatedly punches him in the face. Jr says, "Good God ALMIGHTY—he's getting' beat like a government mule!"

Steve smiles and runs over to the corner and starts in on the guy doing the hitting. Meanwhile, there are chairs, bottles, glasses, and other debris flying around as pretty much the entire bar is in an uproar. Amongst the flying objects, JR calmly takes a seat up at the bar and orders a whiskey sour. He bends down to scratch his leg, and just at the time he does that, a barstool goes flying over his head.

Meanwhile, Austin is holding onto the railing going around the bar counter and is stomping-a-mudhole in this one fellow. The guy is pretty much limp, as Austin gives him the two finger salute. Just at that moment, ANOTHER guy hits Austin from behind with a wooden plank. Austin no-sells it, sticks up both middle fingers, kicks the guy in the stomach and gives him one HELL of a stunner. The guy is rolling around on the floor, holding his chin.

Austin looks over to other side of the smoky bar and sees two guys REALLY kicking ass, they're both in t-shirts, jeans , and cowboy boots—sort of like the Dukes of Hazzard, but one's black and one's white. He sees the white guy literally THROW one guy sideways against the wall, effectively knocking down the dart board, and the black guy lifts another guy up and slams him down on the pinball machine. Austin squints and says to himself, "No fucking way…"

Simultaneously, at the bar, JR is still calmly enjoying his drink, while watching ESPN SportsCenter. That's when a fight ends up right next to him, where one guy got punched in the direction of JR. JR sips his drink and punches the guy back into the main action of the bar and calmly turns back around to keep watching TV.

Austin grabbed this guy in a plaid shirt and is punching his way over to the corner where the two guys are. However, they look as though they're finishing the "competition" off, so to say. Austin give the plaid-shirted guy one final punch, sending him through the remnants of a previously broken table. The two guys and Austin all look at one another, as well as two OTHER guys, one has blond hair, the other with dark hair. All five of them are staring at one another, looking as though they might start fighting amongst themselves.

Meanwhile, the fight is still raging on in the other parts of the bar, as there are broken tables, bottles, beer spilled EVERYWHERE, half the liquor from the bar is missing because of the one guy that was thrown behind the counter earlier. In the distance (finally), sirens can be heard…

Austin looks at the big white guy in the t-shirt and says, "Hehe…I should've KNOW I'd see YOU two here! How long has it been fellas? 8…9 years?, hahahaa! Bradshaw, Faarooq! How've ya' BEEN? Goodamn, boy!"

Faarooq and Bradshaw look at one another and Faarooq looks back at Austin and just says, "DAMN!"

Al three exchange high-fives and when they're done, they turn their attention to the two OTHER gentleman that have now approached them…

Bradshaw folds his arms and asks, "May I help you?"

The blond guy glances at the dark-haired guy and he says, "Uh look, me and my cousin, we didn't come here lookin' for a fight. We just came here to pick up our cousin, Daisy?"

Bradshaw smiles and asks, "So, you're cousins with ol' Daisy? Hahaha! So that makes you—"

Austin smirks and says, "Hey Bo…hey Luke."

The Dukes reply, "Hey Steve!"

Faarooq looks at both Duke boys and then back at Bradshaw and Austin, then back at the Dukes. He puts his hands on his hips, sighs, and just says, "DAMN!"

Steve says, "Faarooq, Bradshaw, these are the Duke boys. Dukes, this is the APA—Acolyte Protection Agency."

The Dukes shake hands with the APA and Bradshaw says to Bo, "Hey, I know that the cops are here and it's a mess, but kid I gotta' HAND it to ya'—the way you punched that one hombre through the pool table was fucking CLASSIC!"

Bo nods and says, "Thanks…thanks, man! He had it comin'—he made me spill ma' BEER!"


With that, all 5 guys started laughing and began talking amongst themselves, of course, as the police were escorting other brawlers out of the bar.. We'll leave them get acquainted and see how Natalya and Sheamus are doing…

"Ok Shame, looks like we're in Oklahoma City! FINALLY, I might add! Eww, it looks like it RAINED here when we were gone."

Sheamus responds, "Yeah, does indeed look that way, lass."

They travel up the main street a couple miles and notice a man thumbing for a ride. Natyalya squints and asks, "Hey, do you see who that IS?"

Sheamus says, "Yeah, ah-sure do, lass. How'd he wind up in this situation, though?"

Natalya shrugs and says, "Beats the hell outta' me! You wanna' pick him up?"

Sheamus thinks about it for a couple seconds, smiles, and says, "NAAAAAAAH! Hahaha!"

He speeds up and the man is getting frantic as they approach. Sheamus sees a puddle and runs through it, splashing mud all over the man. Natalya gasps, "I don't believe you DID that!"

Sheamus starts laughing and soon thereafter, son does Natalya. Sheamus says, "Fuck'm—if he ca't call my matches correctly, he DESERVES it! That's what his…his…stupid…butt GETS! Damn you, Michael Cole!"

Natalya shrugs as they move on ahead. Sheamus stops at a red light and notices a police officer separating two bums. Sheamus nudges Natalya, she looks at him then looks at the melee across the street. They don't hear the conversation, but they recognize the bums…

"HELL NO, OFFICER, I DID NOT GO AND STEAL HER DAMN CIGARETTES, SHE'S ALWAYS TAKING MY CIGARETTES!" That's when the male bum lunges toward the female, only to be stopped by the cop.

The cop says, "C'MON you TWO! You've been together for YEARS! There's no need for this!"

The female bum retorts, "I DON'T CARE—YOU OWE ME 5 BUCKS, REMEMBER?"

The male bum asks, "Now what the hell does THAT have to do with stealin' my DAMN CIGARETTES?"

The female bum just calmly says, "You know what? You're just as dumb-assed as your father is."

THAT comment REALLY gets the man jumping mad. Meanwhile, another cop car has just pulled up. The other cop gets out of his car and makes a bee-line toward the extremely angry male. The male bum is being cuffed and he's yelling, "I'M GONNA' FUCKING KILL YOU, YOU LOUSY BITCH! AAAAH-DAMMIT, I USED TO BE SOMEBODY! I WAS A 10-TIME TAG CHAMP, MISSY, AND YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WERE? YOU WERE A NOBODYYY, A NOBOD—"

"Careful, sir, duck down as you get in the car, please. Don't forget, you have the right to remain silent, anything you say—"

The belligerent bum interrupts, "YEAH, YEAH, I KNOW ALREADY—JUST SHIP MY ASS OUTTA' HERE!"

Just then, the light turns green. Sheamus is still looking at the police in action and soon hears a honk from behind, urging him to go forward. Sheamus sticks up his middle finger in the rear-view mirror as he pulls away, hearing a longer honk as the driver behind him turns off at the corner.

Natalya shakes her head, "Damn, that's sad."

Sheamus says, "Yeah, you know who they were?"

"No, who?"

"That was Billy Gunn and Ivory."

Natalya's eyes grow very big, "Whaaaat? NO WAY!"

Sheamus nods and says, "Way. T'is a shame, really. Heard he spent all his money on PCP. I heard that she's one of the PREMIERE crystal meth makers—they call Ivory the 'McGuyver' of meth labs."

"No shit? Really?"

"Oh, indeed lass. Word has it, she can make a crystal meth lab out of a tire and a string, dude—shit is unreal!"


So we'll cut this right here for tonight. I'm tired of typing tonight and I need to get some sleep.

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But join me next time—same Warrior time, same Warrior place, same Warrior channel!