She hates crying.

"Fancy restaurant Third. You really outdid yourself."

To her, it's a sign of weakness.

"A-Asuka...I need to ask you someth-"

It reminds her of a frail little girl who could only watch helplessly as the person most important to her slowly slipped away, each passing morning, each dark night all she could do was watch silently as she went farther and farther down the deep end.

"What are you trying to say, Baka?"

It reminds her of the bright searing pain of a ray of light inflicted; all those horrible memories she couldn't care for that were thrust back into her mind; Kaji and her younger self. The pain, the anguish, the hurt.

"I swear to god Shinji, if you don't stop bumbling I'm gonna..."

It reminds her of Shinji; those sleepless, restless nights she spent after the whole ordeal; what he saw during his instrumentality, she will never know, but what she saw was enough to make her feel like something was being lost, so she decided to stop something else, someone else, from slipping away.

Suddenly he stands up and kneels in front of her.

It makes her really happy that he is back, because in reality she never wanted him gone; what's the point of all the fights, the stupid pride if she lost in one second what she had been looking for, waiting for, (wanting to have) for her whole life?

And she knows, she just knows...and the tears start to come out.

But most of all, she hates crying for or because of him.

"Asuka...will you marry me?"

But sometimes, she can't help but cry.

----- -----

She loves his lips.

She's never consider herself an expert; in fact if one were to consider their first aborted attempt as kissing, they would think it was mainly done for comedic relief . Why did she ever thought that pinching his nose was a good idea? never mind the fact the his breath was tickling her lips, and her lips were, and still are really sensitive.

She can't help but lick her own lips as she sees him sitting across from her, eating away, picking at the vegetables of his stir fry while he skims thru the books strewn around him. He looks so focused, and his hair is messed up just so, and she can't help but stare at his lips as they continue to slowly, torture the poor piece of vegetable in between them and

SHE.

JUST.

CAN'T.

TAKE IT.

ANY.

MORE.

Without more warning than a low guttural growl, she pounces at him, catching him of guard landing on his chest, his back pressed against the chair on the floor, her knees on either side of his body, effectively straddling him, her hands cupping his face and pulling it up a little as she finally, finally kisses him as if her life depended on this kiss (and she knows she should come up for air any time soon, unless she wants a reprise of the kiss fiasco again)

She really loves his lips.

They are soft and gentle and she just loves how they taste. she let's go of his mouth like a kid who is giving the las lick to the lollipop she likes the most, pouting and fretting, wishing she were able to have more.

Shinji grabs her by her arms and kisses her back, and she forgets everything else, only able to remember the essentials:

She needs to breath.

She loves his lips.

But she loves to kiss them the most.