Thanks soooo much for the reviews guys! I started updating this again literally because someone reviewed it. So honestly, if you review this I will update within a week. Anyway, I've been watching some crisis core vids on youtube and I legit want to die. Holy tits that game is so impossibly sad. It almost makes me want to replay it, but I cannot put myself through that again haha
oh man I'm getting depressed just writing this. WHY? WHY!
He never called.
But really, what did Aerith expect? He obviously had more important things to deal with at the moment. She knew that. But that didn't stop her from staring at her phone all day.
Aerith tried to stop herself from thinking about Zack. She was ashamed that such a short, chance encounter had created such a mess of her brain. She thought, fleetingly, about how little she must mean to this stranger, this Zack man. She didn't know him at all, and her hopes were too high. Maybe this was different, maybe he was different, she tried to tell herself. But she knew better.
People would always want Aerith, but not the kind of want that she was comfortable with. Old men wanted her body, and Shinra wanted her flesh and blood. Mothers wanted Aerith to watch their children and her own mother wanted her to be her perfect daughter. She was sick of people wanting her for the wrong reason. She wanted someone to want her for her.
Zack . . . maybe he would be the first to really know her . . . maybe . . . No. She shook her head. He didn't call. He was just being nice to her . . . she was just an urchin from the slums. He didn't want anything to do with her, he was just being nice. Aerith touched the bow in her hair for the hundredth time that day. He was just being nice . . .
. . . But wouldn't nice be enough for her? She could deal with that, if that meant she could see his face. She thought almost frantically that she would do anything for him, if only he would ease her loneliness. He didn't have to care about her, he could just be hollowly nice to her.
Stop it. She told herself, you deserve better than that. Don't lower yourself for a stupid boy. But he wasn't a stupid boy to her. He was her world right now, however sad that may be. Without thinking she picked up her phone off the table and dialed the second (and last) contact on her phone. She waited less than a second before he answered.
"Aerith?" Came his cool voice. Wind roared (or maybe it wasn't wind . . .) in the background, making his voice fuzzy. "Listen, can I call you back later?"
"Oh, sure" Aerith replied slowly. Aerith heard a screech in the background, and suddenly it clicked. He was on a mission and she was being a pain in the ass by bothering him. That's why he didn't call her.
"I have some . . . company." He continued. She could hear the smile in his voice.
"Don't keep your guest waiting" Aerith replied, with only a hint of nervousness. She hung up without even saying goodbye. She was mortified that she seemed so desperate. He said he would call, she just hadn't waited long enough . . . although it was well past 10:00 at night. It didn't matter. None of if did. The only thing that mattered was that Zack might still be interested in her.
Downing the rest of her water in one gulp, Aerith made her way to her bedroom. It wasn't particularly late, but Aerith was feeling too restless to deal with her mother. She felt conflicted between wanting Zack, and pushing Zack away. She knew nothing about him, but he gave her the attention that she so craved. On the other hand, he worked for Shinra, and Shinra could not be trusted under any circumstances. So what was she supposed to do?
She opened the door to her small, plain room, and sighed at how very ordinary it was. If she was supposed to be this important, vital being to society, why did she feel so very uninteresting? She closed the door softly behind her and breathed in.
A small vanity was adjacent to the door, and she spent a moment looking at herself. She wore no makeup, and her hair was in a simple ponytail. She wasn't beautiful. Attractive, pretty even, but far from a beauty. At least in her eyes.
She took a moment to undress for the night, but stopped just as her dress lay at her feet. She had never really looked at herself while nude in the mirror. She had very small breasts, an insecurity of hers ever since she could remember, and a lot of times it just dampened her spirits to see herself so bare. They're small . . . but have a nice shape to them, she thought, trying to find at least one good thing about herself. She tore her eyes away and threw on an old t-shirt that had been Elmyra's husband's before he died.
Aerith remembered the day when she was younger, before she had learned to repress her ability, when she told her mother – Elmyra – that her husband had died. Aerith had felt his presence . . . heard his voice. She still did, from time to time, hear the voices of strange people, but somehow she managed to hide it so well that even she didn't know what was real anymore.
Thoughts tumbled around in her head and anxiety crept its way into her limbs. She tried never to think about her past, or of the time she spent at Shinra Headquarters with her mother, but the memories were beginning to bubble up. She held her breathe and bit her lip as she waited for the memories recede.
After a few moments they were gone, and all that was left was a hollow aching. She welcomed the feeling.
She was empty again. Zack didn't cross her mind again that night, and neither did her mother or Shinra. She thought of the flowers and the hope that they brought.
Her bed sat in the far corner near her window, beckoning her to collapse on top of it. She complied, and within moments she was drifting into a heavy slumber, unmarred by nightmares.
A knock on her window. Heart racing, Aerith awoke. Her head reflexively snapped towards her small digital clock. 1:43 am. What the hell?
She turned, slowly, almost as though she thought that if she moved slow enough, whatever enemy lurked on the other side of her window would be gone by the time she had moved. Cold sweat prickled at her neck as her eyes adjusted to the dark. A large shadow silhouetted against the glass. A scream rose in her throat, but stuck when she saw the figure motioning frantically for her to stop.
A familiar face pressed itself against the glass. Unnatural blue eyes glowed in the moonlight.
"Zack?" Aerith breathed. She glided to the window and unhatched it. Zack, who was balancing on his haunches on her windowsill reached a long leg into her room, followed by a lithe body. Aerith looked up at him, dumbfounded and confused.
"Sorry I never called back." He said genially. "It got really busy at . . . work" Zack furrowed his eyebrows, as if work didn't sound like the right name to him. He shook his head and straightened, but upon hitting his head on the low ceiling, continued to slightly crouch so he could fit in the room. He rubbed his head. "Ow . . .Hey, you wouldn't happen to have any food would you?"
"What . . . what are you doing here?" Aerith asked in a slow voice, wiping the sleep from her eyes and ignoring his request.
Zack frowned. "Do you want me to leave?"
"No!" Aerith replied, a little too quickly for her liking. "I mean no, I-I'm just confused. Its two in the morning."
"Oh, Is it?" Zack asked, raising his eyebrows as if Aerith had just told him something as useless as the date. Aerith nodded, causing Zack to smile, "I guess you lose track of time when you're working hard."
Aerith wondered for a moment what exactly Zack had been 'working on'. She rubbed her eyes again and then wrapped her arms around herself. "Aren't you . . . tired? When do you sleep?"
He laughed, but Aerith didn't think anything she had said had been particularly funny. She was genuinely curious. "I don't. Ever since I started Mako therapy I've been running off like two hours a night."
Zack, as if suddenly realizing how bizarre the situation was, turned to her, his brows furrowed. "I didn't even realize that you were probably sleeping. I'm so used to being around insomniacs that it didn't even cross my mind . . ." He trailed off and looked down at her, his deep eyes conflicted.
Aerith yawned at that exact moment. They stood in the empty silence. Aerith felt his eyes on her, even in the pitch black. "What? Oh no, I'm just surprised. Its not that often I get male visitors entering through the window in the middle of the night." She said in a quiet voice. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to do in a situation like this. This was the first man that had been in her room. She felt slightly uncomfortable, but was also just glad to see Zack. She wondered silently that maybe this was just a dream and she was still asleep. That would make much more sense.
"I just finished my mission and . . . Aerith I couldn't stop thinking about you." Zack blurted with a smile, but it was too dark for her to see. He had said that line to so many girls in his life, but this was the first time that he actually meant it. Aerith had been on his mind the whole day, even with everything that had been going on in Shinra.
She froze. This was definitely a dream.
Her heart was beating so fast. She could feel her pulse throbbing through her wrist as she crossed her arms. She swallowed, but her throat wouldn't move.
She could hear him shuffling along her floor. The springs in her mattress squealed as he sat down. She could see him better now, and watched, transfixed, as he ran a hand through his thick hair. "I'm sorry. You probably think I'm crazy. We barely know each other, but I found myself worrying about you all day." He laughed quietly to himself. But, as if urged on to fill the silence, he continued, "It's just . . . I had to see you."
"You . . . had to see . . . me?" Aerith whispered, finally able to speak. She couldn't even think.
"Well, yeah." He replied, slightly embarrassed to hear her confusion. She didn't say another word, only stood in the dark corner of her room. Silence hung in the room like a living, breathy entity. It deafened both of them, but for different reason. With every second that ticked by Zack felt more and more embarrassed at what he had just opened up to her. Aerith, on the other hand, was in shock. No man had ever said more than a few words to her, let alone open their heart to her.
Zack rose from the bed. "Hey, I'm sorry for bothering you. I guess I'll go now." He waited for her to say something, anything, to make him stay, but he was met again with silence. Gathering what dignity he had left and heading to the window, he turned one last time. "Aerith . . ."
She didn't move. She couldn't.
And with that, he turned back and slipped out into the darkness. A second went by. Then another.
She tried to collect her thoughts. Never before had she been at such a loss for words.
"Wait, Zack!" She whispered fiercely, racing to the window.
"Yes?" He swung around the window has if he had been waiting there, his face stopping a mere inches from hers. Aerith was startled as he emerged from darkness. Her breathing was labored as she tried to put into words what she was feeling. Her mind wrapped around the situation. He cares about her. He actually cares about her.
Her emotions boiled inside of her, craving release. She stared into his eyes, trying to tell him everything that she was feeling through eye contact alone.
"I wanted to see you too. I waited by my phone, and when . . . when you didn't call I didn't know what to do I – I don't understand why I feel this way. I've only know you for so long . . ." As she said this his face edged closer to hers. She could make out the tiny freckles on his nose, the small lashes on his bottom lid. She could feel his breathing.
"I'm sorry I never called you." He whispered, his head cocked to one side, his focus on her lips. He flicked his eyes upward to meet hers, a silent question, before moving to close the gap between them.
Aerith, her face upturned, melted as his soft lips barely brushed against her own. Her world crashed in upon itself. She was reduced to a state of nothingness. Her mind was blank. Her body, her whole existence was numb except for him. He was a licking flame against her cold body. Everything that she had been unable to say, every feeling that he'd longed to express lay wrapped in that one single embrace.
"Aerith?" Her mother's voice called.
Zack pulled away from the gentle kiss suddenly and without warning, leaving Aerith feeling lost and dazed.
"Aerith who are you talking to?"
Aerith gave Zack a startled look before replying, "I was just having a nightmare. Don't worry."
They waited.
"Okay, Honey, I'm going downstairs anyway. I'll get you a glass of water."
Instead of arguing, Aerith just turned back to Zack, touching her fingertips to her lips and smiling whimsically. "I don't want you to leave."
"I don't want to go . . . but I have to. Besides, what would your mom think if she found me here?"
She shot him a pained look before reaching her hand up to close the window. "I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Of course." He smiled his Zack smile one last time before disappearing into the darkness
ahhhh this chapter was all over the place. I tried to make it make sense, but I had trouble conveying the emotions and making it make sense. I hope it didn't seem too ooc. Thanks for reading!