Why is it that now a days, the only thing she can see whenever she looks at herself in a mirror is that self-hate? that tire expression in her eyes; that dullness in her soul that emerges thru them, that take the gleam and that makes everything feel as it were trapped in sap, moving slowly, only to slowly die?
A warm, orange glow is making it all go away, and she can feel everyone and no one at the same time; almost as if she were in one of those train cars filled to the rim with people, she can feel them all; people she knew, people she cared for, people she hated (A vast majority this class) and the people she loved (And a particular name comes to mind, all stubbled chin and pony tail and-)
She knows she is dreaming, apparently that is the only thing she can do right now, for some reason her body is not hers, won't answer to her commands (like that doll that used to be her beloved unit 02) She has the same dream, she feels like she is falling, but it's all pitch dark, so for all she knows she could be flying (But she knows, SHE KNOWS, she is falling) and there is nothing she can do (And Kaji suddenly begins to grow smaller, thinner,his stubble disappearing, receding into clean fresh cheeks, his hair becoming smaller, thiner, silkier and-)
Wait a minute, WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING HERE?
And as if he could read her mind he reaches her, and now she knows, SHE KNOWS, she is falling because she is traveling head first and the surroundings are not pitch black but vibrant crimson, a blinding red.
"Hi there." He says and he smiles. "Long time no see." (And she feels-)
"IDIOT! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" She screams (or did she imagined she screamed at him?) and for the life left in her she can't seems to bother as to why he is close (very close) and his arms are around her waist (they feel so snug) and they feel warm (very warm) and his smile is just so-
"I-I'm sorry." He says, and smiles and in that moment, she knows there is no more hatred, no more wallowing in the endless pit of self pity that is her mind.
She is free.
----- -----
"I-I'm sorry." He says, and she can't help but smile as it hits her.
She loves those little quirks about him.
"It's all right, I'll make an exception and forgive you this time, but don't let it happen again."
Why was it that she used to hate him so much? did she felt threatened by him? or was it simply the natural horror and distaste one has to a grotesque reflection of your own self, past the make up and the flawless skin, deep into the bones and sinew, noticing how truly corrupted and rotten your insides really are.
So she feels happy he is here with her, she feels the presence of others as well, a warm, loving presence, the same she felt minutes (or hours, or days or years) inside unit 02; and a presence detached, aloof, yet somehow connected, playful and chipper (and she wonders why does it feel like wondergirl on a sugar rush?) and she feels them all; Maya and Hyugga and Shigeru and the Sub Commander and-
She smiles, noticing how all the couples are naturally drawn to one another.
"This is the crux of all possibilities." Shinji says softly, still embracing her. "We are at the nexus of all the possible worlds that Instrumentality can create."
"What does it mean?" She asks, and a second before Shinji can answer, she already knows the truth; even now she feels all her hatred, all her doubts, all her inner demons and fear just flow away into the orange wave that is enveloping her. She can't really say she cares about it; she hopes they don't come ever again, but somehow feels like that was the sum of the arts that made her too, and they feel as if the were becoming more solid, more defined, and then suddenly they are gone, and she hopes they find peace (or at least the surface with him next to her)
"We can go wherever we want to go, we can be whoever we want to be."
"The choice is ours."
"As long as you have the will to live, and chose to return, you will go back to wherever you chose; there are multiple places you can go back; you can wake up next to me in a beach being a washed by a sea of red; or you can be my oldest childhood friend, still a teenager in Tokyo-3."
"Or I can go back to the Over the Rainbow and actually be nice to you." She smiles. "The choices are infinite." And she catches him blushing. "What?"
"I've never seen you smile like that, it's bea-" He catches himself, stammering and blushing. "I like it." And then he whispers but she is still able to make it out. even with all the thoughts and feelings rushing in them, thru them, with them.
I love it very much.
"I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" She screams at him, smiling. (and she is lying because she can hear him just fine)
"I'M TELLING YOU THAT I LOVE YOU." He says blushing, looking down and she cups his chin and lifts his head and kisses him quickly.
A soft chaste peck on the lips.
"I know."
She really loves those quirks about him. Imagined or otherwise.
----- -----
Well, there I was, having a great time, when one of my friends (who, for the duration of this AN shall have no name) PMed me to chat; and he told me there was this cool anime called Eureka Seven made by bones (and I love bones...Studio Bones, that is...SHUT UP PERVS!)and I began to YT'em.
I never realized how based on NGE it was, the only difference is that R/Sers and A/Sers might be happy here; EuREIka gets Renton (whiny, crybaby Renton, or Anime Shinji) while Asuk-Sorry, Anemone (complete with near death experience wailing "I want to live") Gets Dominic (Angsty, dorky Dominic, or Manga Shinji)
This is relevant because the Love part is based LOOSELY on the climax of Ep. 48 Ballet Mechanique.
Well, that's all I have to say, I guess.
Peace out.