"It couldn't have been that hard before," I thought asmy thoughts wandered to earlier. I finally battled side by side with a pokemon. Well, lost along side with a pokemon. It was very different from battling on my Gameboy in the old days, considering all I had to do was use a control pad and press the A button to attack. If only it was that simple here.
"You had a chance to stop me. Remember that," The Pokemon Hunter's last words played over and over again in my head. It was more like a broken record, it repeated, getting worse as it went on. I sighed. I needed to shake these thoughts out of my head. I looked around. Trees, bushes, and shrubs were plentiful where I sat. The moon still radiated through the night sky, giving off a faint light, allowing me to see. It was chilly. I put my arms behind my head as I leaned back against the tree behind me. Looking up, I could see many stars gracing the night sky.
"Seeing all of these stars reminds me of the spot back home," I thought as I pictured the old getaway out in the country that Carter, Taylor and I would go to during the summer. Those were good times. I suddenly felt myself beginning to feel... lighter as I recalled more and more of those days.
"Ryan," a voice rang through my ears. It sounded like her... it couldn't be! I opened my eyes.
"T-Taylor?" I rushed up to my feet as my heart skipped a beat. She looked solemnly at me. "Is it really you?"
"Of course! Who else?" I heard another familiar voice. He was here too? I looked around my surroundings. Strangely, I knew where I was, but at the same time, I didn't know where I exactly was. As I thought about my surroundings, they solidified. I was at the getaway spot! Miles of green grass was accompanied with a gentle breeze. In the distance, another surprise greeted me. It was Carter!
"Carter!" He appeared next to Taylor, and when he did, an urge overpowered me. I grabbed the both of them and started to hug them. I didn't want to let go. The sun shone through the light blue sky, making the beautiful day even better. "I missed you guys so much!" Well, it was only two days, but it felt like an eternity, with all of the things that've been going on. Pained grunts from Taylor and Carter prompted me to stop my hug.
"Sorry," I rubbed the back of my head in slight embarrassment. My heart felt overwhelmed with so many emotions, I had no idea where to start. "I've got so much to tell you! Pokemon are real, and in this world and," I stopped as Taylor and Carter both held their hands up. "Huh? What's up?" I asked.
"Ryan, think about your past experiences in the last couple of days. Does any of this make sense?" Taylor suddenly asked me as she motioned around her.
"What do you mean? I mean, you guys are here and that's all that matters." I said as a feeling started welling up inside the pit of my stomach.
"Think about it, bud. Think about it," Carter added. I shook my head in denial.
"What do you guys mean? As long as you guys are... wait," I stopped as I realized what the sinking feeling at the pit of my stomach was.
"You guys aren't real..." I said aloud, not wanting to admit it. Clouds started to cover the sun as the wind picked up from a gentle breeze to mild gusts.
"Yes, and no," They both answered, confusing me."We're not real, but our personas are. We are as you see us," 'Carter' and 'Taylor' explained. Wait, what?
"Does that mean, I'm in a dream?" I asked as I took a look around. Now that I realized it, everything around me seemed more surreal and fuzzy. I kneeled down to touch a blade of grass. It felt real, even though it wasn't. I was feeling something that wasn't actually there!
"Yeah, it does, but this is more than a dream," Taylor told me as I rose to my feet.
"What do you mean?" I asked as my head started to hurt from the confusion.
"This is your happy place," Carter simply explained to me.
"We're your guides in this place, your subconscious chose us as figureheads for this place," Taylor explained.
"Whenever your mind is troubled by things, you might end up here occasionally," Carter added in. Things just got a little weirder.
"So, this place was constructed by my mind? I could control it if I wanted to, right?" I asked them. A little more sun wouldn't hurt, especially since this was my happy place.
"Not exactly. Your subconscious made this place. You didn't do it yourself, consciously," Taylor explained. "Your experiences helped give your subconscious a base model to build this place for you," she continued to explain.
"So everything in here, is a result of my life?" I asked in wonder.
"You could put it that way," Taylor answered. "This is just one area of your subconscious."
"Wait, I thought you said this was my happy place?" I was confused, to say the least.
"It is, but it's only one part of it," Carter explained. "You see that door over there?" I looked over to where Carter pointed. A wooden door was there! It felt out of place, and for some reason, I felt a slight chill as I acknowledged the door's existence.
"Yeah, other than the fact it feels out of place, what about it?" I curiously asked him.
"That leads to another part of your subconscious. Where? I have no idea," Carter explained. "We're only figureheads for this part, and some other parts," he added.
"There're other figureheads in other parts of my brain?" I asked simply. Taylor and Carter nodded. "Will I know them as well as you guys?" I asked, worried the figureheads wouldn't be as friendly as they were.
"We can't say. Figureheads can symbolize many things, whether you are aware of it or not," Taylor began to explain, before Carter cut in.
"Also, as you gain more experiences, figureheads also tend to change accordingly." Carter added in.
"Hey, let me explain!" Taylor said to Carter, with her hands to her waist in obvious annoyance.
"Alright," Carter raised his hands in self defense and leaned back a bit. I couldn't help but laugh a bit. They definitely acted like the real Carter and Taylor!
"As I was saying, figureheads change accordingly to your experiences, good or bad, so be prepared for that. Also, figureheads may not be familiar to you at first. They may even have certain features blocked out until you recall something, but they have been in your life at one point, and you have seen them," she finished. I took a moment to review the slew of information Taylor told me.
"These parts are some sort of memory holders? Or something like that?" I asked. They both nodded. "Am I here because some memory of mine is gonna be recalled or something?" I asked, now that I felt something stirring in my head.
"Well, not at the moment, but you're having troubling thoughts that triggered this trip," Taylor explained. There was no argument there.
"Basically, we're here for you, Ryan," Carter said. "You feel pretty useless at the moment, don't you?" How did they know? Well, considering they're a part of my mind... it makes sense. I nodded.
"You blame yourself for not being able to lead Squirtle earlier today, not being able to save Eevee and Umbreon's mom, and letting the Pokemon Hunter get away, right?" Taylor continued. Did she have to list it like that? It felt like my heart was getting shot, point blank. Not like I'd have experience like that, but still! I simply nodded.
"Well, don't pity yourself!" Taylor suddenly got into her lecture voice I was all too familiar with. This time, I was on the other end. "Standing still and pitying yourself, is that gonna help Eevee and Umbreon rescue their mom?" I was about to object with the fact their mom doesn't even recognize them, but Taylor cut me off.
"Is pity gonna help Squirtle recover from the poison? Is pity gonna help you help them?" Something in my mind told me to run away, but my legs wouldn't move and my ears absorbed every painful truth Taylor spewed out. "Is pity gonna help you find your mom?" That pushed one of my buttons.
"What does this even have to do with my mom?" I growled.
"Because, pitying yourself won't help you or your friends and it certainly won't help you find your mom," Taylor finished. Suddenly, the two of them started to fade away, disappearing into the wind.
"No, wait!" I ran up to where Carter and Taylor disappeared. I was too late. I sunk to my knees as I contemplated what had happened. What they said was right. I couldn't pity myself, it wouldn't change a thing! The sun came out from the clouds as I slowly rose to my feet and looked across the grassy plain. Carter and Taylor, even though it wasn't really them, helped me make my resolve. I'm determined to get Umbreon and Eevee's mother back. There's no time for pity. Why does it feel like this place is shaking?
"Ryan, wake up!" Leaf was shaking Ryan by his shoulders. "I've been shaking him for a good few seconds now, and he still hasn't woken up yet!" Leaf thought. She planned on reflecting on her thoughts out in the forest and went to her usual spot. When she got there, she found Ryan asleep against a tree. Leaf waited a few minutes for Ryan to wake up. A half hour passed, so she decided to shake him until he woke up. He suddenly opened his eyes and jumped up, alarming Leaf.
"Calm down!" Leaf put her hands on his shoulders, keeping him in place. Ryan looked around at his surroundings.
"Okay, now I'm almost sure I'm not dreaming, but just to be sure," Ryan raised his hand next to his cheek and pinched himself. "Ow!" He knew he was awake.
"Why'd you do that?" Leaf asked him, puzzled as to why he pinched himself.
"I wanted to make sure I was actually awake, I mean you never know," Ryan awkwardly explained, realizing how weird he was being. "Especially after that," Ryan thought as he recalled his "dream". Leaf shrugged at the explanation, it was good enough for her.
"Anyways, what're you doing sleeping out here?" Leaf asked. "Shouldn't you be at the Pokemon Center with Squirtle?"
"Well, I figured I wouldn't be much help, and I needed some time alone to think. So, I figured it was a good as time as any," Ryan explained as he stretched his arms.
"You definitely seemed to be in quite a deep thought," Leaf said with a hint of sarcasm. Ryan chuckled awkwardly as he sat back down. He gave himself space to lay down.
"I guess so," Ryan agreed as he lay down, looking up towards the night sky. Curious, Leaf decided to take a seat next to him.
"Was it about Squirtle and the others?" Leaf questioned. Ryan recalled Taylor and Carter's dissection of his thoughts.
"Yeah... mostly," Ryan answered as he continued to gaze at the stars. "Well... I was thinking about my mom," Ryan finally said, remembering what 'Taylor' had brought up.
"Your mom? Are you feeling homesick?" Leaf asked, not knowing the real reason.
"Homesick's a part of it. I miss my best friends, Carter and Taylor, even though it's been a couple of days," Ryan seemed to go into monologue mode as Leaf listened. "I wish I could go back and let them know I'm alright, but I won't, even if I had the chance," he heavily said.
"What do you mean?" Leaf asked. Ryan stared at a group of stars, projecting an image in his head of Carter and Taylor smiling. It shifted to an image of Eevee and Umbreon.
"I promised I'd help Eevee and Umbreon get their mom back, and I won't go back on that promise, even after today," Ryan said with conviction. He continued before Leaf could say anything. "And I wouldn't, even knowing that their mom doesn't remember them. But, I honestly don't believe a mother could really forget her own kids," Ryan finished.
"You would still help even when you could go home? What if it meant you couldn't go back home for a long time?" Leaf asked Ryan, knowing this was something that would bothered him. He didn't hesitate to answer:
"Even if I found a way back tomorrow, I wouldn't take it. I don't go back on my promises like that." Leaf looked stunned.
"What makes you keep your promises?" Leaf continued to ask as she dug deeper into the personal questions. Ryan took a moment to think. He had never thought about that before. "What makes me keep my promises? Hmm." He took a breath before answering Leaf. "Well, I guess it's because I feel like people need a promise that can be kept to keep moving on in their lives," Ryan couldn't believe what he was spilling out of his mouth, but he continued. "If everything goes wrong in their life, at least there's at least one thing went right for them... the promise I kept. If I couldn't help them in any other way, at least I kept my promise," he finished. Leaf looked at Ryan in amazement.
"I didn't think there could be anyone who even thinks like this... I wonder what caused him to be like this?" Leaf thought as she examined Ryan, who closed his eyes. "You had to have had some sort of influence to say the things you've said," Leaf stated.
"I guess. I followed mostly in my mom's footsteps, wherever she may be," Ryan softly said.
"Hmm? Wherever she may be?" Leaf repeated. "Is your mom..." Leaf finished her sentence in her head. "Dead?" Ryan knew what she had implied.
"I hope not," Ryan thought aloud, without question. "I've never met my mom." A sorrow look appeared on Ryan's face. Leaf noticed it and felt sorry for him. She also felt like she had pried too far.
"I couldn't imagine... Well, I've never met my dad," Leaf thought as she sympathized with Ryan. He continued to talk while Leaf thought.
"My dad always used to tell me as a little kid, whenever I asked about mom, that she was one of the kindest people ever to live. Even though she was famous and she didn't have to, she always helped people that needed it the most," Ryan explained in a tone of nostalgia. He didn't know where it came from, but he welcomed it as pride welled up inside of him.
"From what you've told me, your dad told you she was..." Leaf couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence with that word.
"I know... but somehow, I don't think she's gone," Ryan confidently said as he opened his eyes.
"What makes you think so?" Leaf curiously asked.
"It's," Ryan stopped as he noticed a shooting star flying across the sky. He had to make a wish, even though it sounded silly. He closed his eyes again. "Shooting star, please let a mother and her children be reunited..." He silently made his wish as Leaf looked at him peculiarly. She shied away as Ryan opened his eyes and looked at her.
"It's just a feeling, that's all," Ryan answered Leaf. "Anyways, what made you curious about all of this?" Leaf quickly thought up of something to say.
"I was just wondering, that's all. Besides, you were asleep for a good while," she answered. Ryan raised an eyebrow.
"Oh, okay," he accepted. Then a thought occurred to Ryan. "Wait, what are you doing out here, anyways?" He picked a spot in the forest where no one would probably bother him. Leaf had hoped Ryan wouldn't bring it up. She stammered slightly as she tried avoiding mentioning this was her "thinking spot". "You know, considering I spilled my beans, maybe it wouldn't hurt if you did too?"
A look of hesitation appeared on Leaf's face. She wasn't sure what to do. "It's fine if you don't want to, or if it bothers you that much, but I've heard a couple of things, I heard you don't wanna battle anymore," Ryan said, hoping Leaf would respond. She instantly did.
"You did? From Matt?" Leaf asked as Ryan nodded his head.
"We all have our reasons for doing things, right? I wonder what was yours..." Ryan thought aloud. Another silence followed as Ryan turned back to the starry sky. Just when Ryan had given up on getting an answer from Leaf:
"I just don't have a reason anymore, you know?" Leaf answered as Ryan shook his head. He motioned for her to continue. "It's just... my mom always supported me. She was always there for me, no matter what."
"Was? Does that mean what I think it means?" Ryan thought the worst had happened, and unfortunately, his assumption was answered.
"Until she passed away," Leaf finished as she looked down, her bangs covering her face. Ryan felt saddened as he sat up. Had he taken it a bit too far?
"I understand why you'd want to quit, but... I'd think your mom wouldn't want you to quit doing something you like to do, you know? All I know is, if I ever had a kid, and I passed away, I'd want them to live on and be happy... and as cheesy as it sounds, it'd make me happy," Ryan said. He couldn't tell if Leaf was listening, as her bangs were still covering her face.
"I guess you need some time to yourself too? Don't worry," Ryan rose to his feet and stretched. "I hope you find what you're looking for in your thoughts," Ryan said to Leaf as he walked away. He stopped suddenly and turned back for a split second.
"A friend once told me: I don't think it's worth the time to pity yourself, when you could be doing other things, achieving your goals, no matter what they are. I hope it helps," Ryan turned and left the clearing. He didn't look back at Leaf. She needed privacy.
"I hope I didn't make her mad like I was earlier with Taylor," Ryan laughed in his head as he looked up into the starry sky once more. He knew what he had said earlier and he meant every word. There was no turning back on his promise.
"I'm coming home... just wait for me," he thought as he began his trek back to the Pokemon Center.
After long and careful thought, I decided to cut the last chapter, since it didn't offer much, in my opinion. It felt badly written, plot wise, so I decided to not post it. This is the final chapter of Back to the Basics. Check out my profile for up to date news, every Sunday!