Over the next few weeks Rachel felt like her stomach was a pit. She was tired of feeling so helpless, yet she couldn't even imagine what Quinn was going through. It had to have been so much worse for the blonde if she had to harm herself and never seek help.

Quinn didn't know how to get away from it all, or her house, or Rachel. There was no safe place away from everything. Skipping school would only draw more attention from her parents, yet by attending school she might gain unwanted attention from any of her former friends. And seeing Rachel's pitiful face would most certainly kill her inside. Quinn couldn't figure out what hurt her most: was it being laughed at, or the fact that she caused pain to a person who was so willing to help?

So Quinn ended up back at square one, not attending Glee, barely making it to classes just to keep her grades and attendance normal, then slipping past the areas Quinn knew that Rachel would be looking for her. Quinn knew Rachel's schedule as well as the diva knew of Quinn's.

...

The more relief that students felt as the fall semester ended at McKinley, the more worried Rachel became, knowing she wouldn't be able to at least catch glimpses of the blonde at school. The only thing worse than worrying about Quinn was hoping that tomorrow, she might actually come around.

"I'm always here to talk. I would never judge you. It doesn't matter if you think you don't deserve it. It doesn't matter what happened to me before. Nothing matters but this. "I want to change the world, instead I sleep... All we can do is keep breathing." I know I can help you. If you want... -Rachel Berry 3"

Rachel added her full name, and her phone number, just incase Quinn completely forgot that the brunette existed. The song was one that Rachel was listening to on repeat, trying to figure out how to help Quinn. And when she wasn't brainstorming ways to get her attention, she was playing the song on piano. It haunted her mind as much as the sight of Quinn's arms haunted her memories.

...

Most people think that Rachel Berry does her best thinking in front of a group, dismissing their ideas while hers take full shape in her "brilliant" mind. Truthfully there was only one place that allowed Rachel's mind to free itself and fully develop ideas. The brunette did her best thinking while skating on a frozen pond near the end of day, a few miles outside of the Lima city lines. While most people in the north are accustomed to winter weather but often dreaming of a warmer place to live, Rachel loved winter just for the ice skating and she reveled in the pond's solace.

On the day that school ended for winter break Rachel hurried home, still humming a show tune she tried to teach the glee club earlier that day. Finn had fallen asleep in his chair, Santana walked out cursing in Spanish and the others rolled their eyes at her, all were common reactions. Without Quinn to glance at, Rachel was losing her interest in the glee club faster than the other members left at the sound of the bell.

At home, Rachel picked out her warmest clothes, foregoing even her thermal stockings for the normal jeans and winter jacket. She wanted to spend as much time on the ice as she could. Her ice skates had been waiting patiently for her in the back of her closet and Rachel's heart was slightly happier now, anticipating her visit to the ice. She dressed as warmly as possible, grabbed a snack on the way out and drove carefully over the new fallen snow.

As usual, no one was driving outside of Lima city limits as the sun began to fall behind the horizon. Rachel was safe and very content to be alone on the ice this afternoon. She loved singing to the frozen trees and was able to be as loudly as possible (she google Earth-ed this area to make sure there were no mountains she might cause to avalanche). There were no worries, no homework, no rude on-lookers out here. She sang to herself as she skated along the edges of the wide pond.

...

Quinn didn't want to go home. She didn't want to go home ever again. The only things there were disappointed parents, pictures of their perfect daughter... and the other one. Not even a dog or a loyal Lord Tubbington like Brittany had. Quinn wished there was something to go home to. Instead she went for a drive. She knew if she stayed away, she wouldn't have to deal with anyone.

She drove out of town. Her experience of driving on ice and snow was plentiful so she hardly payed attention as the busy roads became scarce and buildings lining the streets were replaced by hundreds of trees.

A few miles past the city she saw a car on the side of the road. Her pessimistic mind thought it could only be a horrible trap for a victim to pull over and try to help a crazy person planning to kill them. She planned to drive by and pretend not to notice the "helpless stranger" but as she got closer and her headlights illuminated the back of the small car, she realized it was Rachel's.

Oh my god, what if she's hurt? She wouldn't pull over for a stranger! She's not stupid. What if she crashed?

Quinn sped towards Rachel's car and grabbed her Mag-light flashlight as a weapon in her shaking hands. She pulled off the road behind Rachel's car and saw no sign of the other girl. Oh fuck...

She jumped out of her car and quietly trudged through the snow to Rachel's driver's side door. She's not inside... Quinn was scared of what might have happened to her. The sun was setting and her mind could hardly process anything past her fogged breath and terror-filled thoughts.

Quinn walked further off the road to follow small footprints in the snow. Thank god there's only one set... As she got past one line of trees, Quinn saw nothing except a huge sheet of ice. She shined her flashlight along the edges of the frozen pond and noticed ice skate etchings all over it. And she heard a voice.

"Who's there?" called a deep, but feminine voice.

"What?" Quinn shouted and squinted across the ice.

"What?" Rachel exclaimed. She skated towards the light and the voice of Quinn she immediately recognized.

"Rachel?" Quinn asked horrified that she had mistaken the lovely voice for a murderer's.. God I hope it's Rachel... but she instinctively backed up incase she had to make a run for it.

"Quinn!" Rachel yelled again before Quinn could run off. She skated closer to the blonde. "Wait!"

"Are you okay?" Quinn asked exasperated. She looked one more time around the pond to make sure no one else was out here.

"Yes, Quinn! I'm fine!" Rachel explained once she got to the blonde, though she was a little out of breath.

"What are you doing out here?" they both asked the other at the same time. Rachel chuckled but Quinn wanted answers to why her heart was beating out of her chest with worry for the brunette.

"Seriously Rachel? I thought you had crashed, or been abducted or something!"

"No, no, no! I was just out here skating!"

"Well why the hell all the way out here?"

"I-... Well..." She was caught off guard. Wanting to explain everything but not come off like an aloof loner, she threw up her hands: "It's just what I do!" Rachel finalized and sought again to catch her breath.

The blonde sighed heavily, trying to calm herself. Her crazed mind got the best of her, like it always did.

"Why did you think I'd been abducted?"

"Your car? Is on the side of the road? And it's almost dark?" Quinn responded with her eyebrows raised and her hands thrown up in confusion.

"I'm sorry I worried you, but I assure you I am safe."

Quinn sighed, almost chuckling in spite of her pounding heart, and stepped closer to Rachel to took in the whole sight. The gleaming pond, the tall trees. The sight of Rachel Berry in jeans and a normal sweatshirt, plus a pink ski hat with dangling things down her ears. The blonde quietly laughed. Rachel stepped off the ice into the snow so she wouldn't have to keep her balance. With the added inches of the blades, Rachel was at equal height as Quinn. This made her feel uncomfortable, so she backed up.

All of a sudden the winter wind couldn't phase the small girl. Her hands and head felt tingly and her chest was tighter... she was alone with Quinn. This was something she never expected.

Quinn turned and looked at Rachel. "Well at least you're in appropriate winter clothes this evening."

Rachel's eyes widened, realizing that her jeans and ski hat were items that she never felt quite suited her and therefore never wore in public. Her shaking hands pulled on her jacket and smoothed out her jeans, nervously.

"You look comfortable and warm, is what I mean," she explained. She noticed how flustered the brunette seemed to be and it made Quinn more at ease, knowing she wasn't the only one with a somewhat paranoid mind.

"I just wanted to spend as much time out here as I could. I've researched ways to prevent hypothermia and chest colds while still embracing the winter weather," Rachel countered with a nervous smile past Quinn's head. "This is sort of my secret place... I noticed it once when I helped Kurt fix a flat tire... This is why I love the winter."

Quinn smiled gently at the normally shorter girl. "You said you didn't like the winter... you said only snow made you happy."

Rachel looked back at Quinn and then looked to the purple and orange sky. "I love winter for this purpose, really. And I do love snow... with the right company." Quinn smiled to herself, hoping her company was enough to make the brunette happy.

"Would you like to sit?" Rachel asked, pointing to her blanket and small bag of snacks to the right side of the pond.

Quinn shrugged, "Well, yeah. Sure."

The blonde carefully cut across the ice, stepping lightly in her small brown boots. Rachel easily glided over to her blanket and took out the snacks she brought. When Quinn reached the blanket, she carried on the conversation.

"I know your secret now... your secret spot. And I guess you know my secrets too." She was half-joking but figured it was time to be real.

Rachel leaned over to Quinn and held out a thermos of warm tea. "You know I promise not to tell anyone, right? I would never..."

"Yeah, I know... and I promise not to reveal this secret location to anyone either," she couldn't help but joke again.

Quinn took a sip and it brought a smile to her face, though her body was already as warm as it could have been. I guess it's just Rachel...

As the sun continued to set, the sky became more and more beautiful. It pained Quinn's heart that she spent so much time away from Rachel, when it was actually her presence that makes her feel more alive than ever. With butterflies in her stomach, she put her hand over Rachel's. Rachel looked Quinn in the eye and chocolate eyes caused hazel ones to tear up only slightly.

"I've just... come to realize... a lot of things lately." Her free hand pulled strings out of the blanked and her free hand continued to tightly hold on to Rachel's. Rachel nodded, urging Quinn to continue.

"And it makes a lot of other things become unbearable. Like being at home... being at school, being forced to be around people who don't care about me." She took a deep breath. "It makes me not care about me either..."

Rachel turned her whole body towards the blonde, held onto Quinn's hand with both of her own and replied, "I care about you. You know I do."

"Yes... Rachel. I know you do. But I think it's in a different way that I've... come to care... about you..." Quinn bit her lip, unsure if Rachel would get the hint.

Always the over-explainer, Rachel tried to reveal all of her feelings. "No, I think I do understand how you're feeling right now." She lowered her head to make sure Quinn kept eye contact instead of hiding away. "These last months, I've come to care about you, your well-being, about your entire being. Going to school, not knowing if I'd see you, not knowing if you were surviving McKinley, not knowing if everything you were going through was getting any better... It's almost torturous."

"Exactly, Rachel! I can't believe that I've put you through all of this!" She couldn't even look Rachel in the eyes, knowing that her pain was felt equally between the two of them. "Telling you all my feelings, I thought would only make it worse for you! Dumping all of my shit-life on you."

"Now you know exactly how I feel. This happy accident, running into you out here, has made me more happy than I've been in months. And I don't even know what is going on! All these things going on, happening to you, I want them to stop! I don't want you to have to deal with them alone."

Quinn couldn't even comprehend all of these feelings Rachel had. It seemed Rachel had enough going on, and avoiding her was making them both more miserable. She took a deep breath and exhaled, watching all of the steam between them from her breath wipe their slate clean.

"I'm sorry Rachel. I just didn't know what to do... about this... About you."

"Please just realize that you're better off with me, and not alone. Not by yourself."

Both of the their tears threatening their eyes fell. Rachel sniffed and finalized: "You've carried all of this on way too far, for way too long. I've got you now." Quinn looked away as she let out a soft sob.

Rachel wrapped her arms around the blonde's shoulders, feeling her heart heal itself for the first time in months. It had actually been forever since she felt complete. She had never felt this whole.

Quinn's small sobs were hushed into Rachel's jacket as she hid her face in Rachel's shoulder.

"I'm so sorry," she sputtered out in between tears.

"I'm not." She kissed the blonde's head and watched fresh snow fall slowly over her pond.

...

thank you so very much for reading. i hope you liked it. if you have any comments, feel free to review and leave criticism too. :)