D.S.: Hi again, I've been locked in a closet for the last "few" months and I finally used my l33t n1nj4 skillz (leet ninja skills) to escape and hack into my parents computer! So now I can write again! Yayness! I've got some homework for you! Go to google and type in two searches: French victories and Failure, (hit the "I'm feeling lucky" button on the Failure search instead of hitting "enter" or "search") this is all very political nonsense. Make sure you look at the results VERY CAREFULLY! HAVE FUN! AND GOOD LUCK! ON TO THE NEXT CHAPTER!

Sexy no Jutsu: Hylian Male Version!

"What the hell are they doing!" Link grumbled angrily, "Talking about how to cook a low-in-fat cuckoo recipe!"

"That actually sounds quite good," murmured Kakashi over his Make-Out Violence Volume 2. Link glared at him as Kakashi blushed at a sentence from the explicit book. Naruto and Sasuke were waiting with their sensei and the Hero in the hallway outside Zelda's office; Sakura, meanwhile, was inside assisting the princess. The interrogation of Link's Dark-Self had been going on for some time now and Link was starting to get worried when he wasn't hearing any type of arguments, slapping, punching, screaming, yelling, unknown "movements", etc.

Dark Link appeared out of the office door beaming like a light bulb, a grin was split clean across his face.

"What are you so happy about!" Link snarled as his Kage Bushin stopped on his toes in front of the hero.

"I have made an agreement with the dear princess my dear 'brother'."

"AND WHAT WHOULD THAT BE! THROW YOURSELF OFF A CLIFF AND HOPE YOU DIE! BECAUSE THAT IS FINE WITH ME!"

"No no no… I've agreed to-"

"Be a spy, Link." Zelda had appeared from the office when Link was yelling at his shadow. Kakashi stepped in before Link began to attempt murder upon both shadow and princess.

"What Link is saying is, can we trust him, he had tried to kill Link, from what I know, two times now, and the second time he brought a legion of Morbins-"

"Moblins." Link corrected.

"Right, Moblins, to kill all in their way. Am I right so far?"

"Not really," interrupted Dark Link. "Those two witches put me to it, they threatened me with the fact that if I were to fail in getting Link's dead body, that I would loose all chance of becoming more than a shadow; Twin Rova told me that they could get me into Link's body if Link's soul were to leave it and if I didn't get him that I would never become a Hylian."

"I feel like you think of me as a fleshy jumpsuit!" spurted Link. Everyone except the Links began to laugh.

"To me, you technically are a TEMPORARALLY occupied, fleshy jumpsuit." Dark Link added just to get Link to fear for his skin even more. Link pulled out his sword to only receive a nervous, "I'M KIDDING!" from the shadow.

"You better be if you value your TEMPORARY LIFE!" As if on cue a large explosion commenced right outside of the castle, setting the lush grass and trees ablaze.

"What the hell is going on!" Naruto yelled nearly falling to the ground from the shock wave. "DAMN!" everyone, except for Dark Link, were thrown to the ground as a large ice burg slammed into the drawbridge gate of the main hall of the castle. Dark Link stared in horror as he saw the twin witches that were on his "top-three-technically-four-list-of-people-to-avoid-pissing-off," list. (Sounds correct when you say it out loud…)

"It's Twin Rova…"

D.S.: WHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAA! I'm sooooooo evil, I just can't resist stopping the story right here! (Gets pelted with stone-filled plushies) JUST KIDDING! I'LL KEEP GOING! I'LL KEEP GOING! I'LL KEEP GOING! I'LL KEEP GOING! I'LL KEEP GOING! I'LL KEEP GOING! I'LL KEEP GOING! I'LL KEEP GOING! I'LL KEEP GOING! I'LL KEEP GOING! I'LL KEEP GOING! I'LL KEEP GOING! I'LL KEEP GOING! I'LL KEEP GOING! I'LL KEEP GOING! I'LL KEEP GOING! I'LL KEEP GOING! I'LL KEEP GOING! I'LL KEEP GOING!

Link stared outside as he saw Koume and Kotake descend on their brooms in the wreckage of the outside of the castle. Dark Link looked terrified, Link looked furious, but before Link could do anything, Naruto had run to the drawbridge to open it enough to let his short ("baby-fat") body through the top. Naruto kicked off the side of the bridge so it would close, keeping the people inside safe. The Genin landed neatly on a patch of grass that was neither burning nor frozen. He immediately began to sweat from the intensity of the flames.

"Sorry ya' old hags, but we only allow beautiful people in the castle." The witches screamed in horror at the arrogance of the short, loudly clothed, ninja.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY!" Kotake screeched, holding a hand-full of fire.

"Forget that sister," Koume yelled, "a flaming death is too fast for this runt." Naruto stared in disbelief.

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!" Naruto yelled angrily.

"I said you're a runt, and I'll say on top of that to…EAT THIS!" Koume shot a beam of ice at the ninja, trapping him in a tomb of ice up to his neck.

The witches cackled, "And here we were just thinking that you couldn't fight…and we were right!" A voice appeared behind them.

"Who said you got the real me?" Naruto had used Kage Bushin no Jutsu to let the witches think that had the maverick ninja only to find that he was a few feet above them ready to beat the living shit out of them. Naruto landed on Kotake's broom and started to perform a jutsu.

"SEXY NO JUTSU: HYLIAN MALE VERSION!" Suddenly Naruto turned into a very unclothed (no hat either) Link in a very provocative stance. The witches stared in disbelief while suffering sever nosebleed. They went to look down but the ninja had already turned back saying, "Hmmm…I guess it only truly works on guys…at least I tried, no problem in getting creative…"

Back at the castle Link had seen Naruto's gag and had presided to scream like a little girl and faint murmuring "I will never be able to fight them ever again…" Link had once been very proud of the fact that no one has ever seen him naked…until now…even though it technically wasn't him. Dark Link just gaped through the window.

Naruto noticed that the witches were quickly recovering and he, quickly himself, hopped off the broom to land on the smoldering thing that used to be the lush, grassy lawn of the great Hyrule Castle. The witches grew angry when they realized that it was only an illusion.

D.S.: I'm sorry y'allz, but I've got to cut this short. I just love you guys so much that I had to sneak on the computer in order to write this and I don't know when I will be able to get on again…I'm so sorry… My truck also got stolen just last Monday! Those sons of bitches! I HATESES THEM MY PRECIOUS! ARRRRGGHH! I'm just really sad…(tear) I'll write some more of the story later…'kayses? Bye!