I turn the smooth pebble over in my hand and eye the water. I crouch lower and pull my arm back. The pebble arcs as it flies out over the lake, kissing the water once, twice, three times before it finally drops below the surface.
A twig breaks behind me.
I smile. "Almost, but not quite."
Gale sighs as he appears beside me. "It was one twig. I've been there for fifteen minutes and you didn't know."
I cock my head to look over at him. "I knew."
"Liar."
I grin. "Shhh. You're scaring the fish." I nod towards where I've already cast my net on the far side of the lake where the basin is deeper.
"And throwing rocks is helping, I'm sure," he rolls his eyes and opens the bag he carries. He hands me chunk of brown bread reluctantly and I snatch it away with a laugh. I stuff half of it in my mouth as I start back over to the fishing poles. He follows me, shaking his head.
I lay out my game bag on the grassy bank and sit down in the warm afternoon sun. He sits next to me and we set out the food he's brought to eat while the nets do the work for us. We sit in a comfortable silence, watching the light reflect off the green glassy water.
"Summer's nearly over," he remarks. "The leaves are already turning down there."
I see the yellow hint on the treetops where he's pointing. "It's been a mild summer; winter won't be so bad this year."
"Except you'll be gone."
"It's two weeks."
"Two long weeks."
"It'll be longer for me," I force a smile. "I'm the one getting the hauled around in that stuffy train and paraded in front of people that hate me."
His eyes darken. "I don't think they hate the Victors the way they hate the Capital. Their kids have had to kill too." He looks off over at the golden trees. "I wish I could give those Capital bastards a taste of their own medicine."
I watch his jaw clench. "They're not all so bad," I say softly. He laughs derisively. "There are plenty of bastards, Gale, but not all of them."
"Like your dear friend Effie?" he asks sarcastically.
"She's just an idiot," I say exasperatedly.
"Then who?"
I know what I want to say. "Cinna," I answer instead.
"Your stylist?"
"Yeah. He…understands. He's the one who knew I had to make an impression. He's the one who figured out the theme for me and…" I catch myself. I haven't thought of Tate in a long time.
Gale sees my distraction. "His family's doing well." He tries to make it sound casual.
I say nothing.
"They're really proud he fought for so long," he says softly. "I talked to his sister about a week after he died. She was bringing clothes to bury him in so my mom could wash them." He glances up. "She's not angry you survived."
"Hunh," I huff.
"I told her I was." That gets my attention.
"What?"
"That you had to survive anything, Katniss! Her brother is dead and she has to pretend it's fine. It's not."
I look at the lake for a long time. I think of Prim's ducktailed shirt sticking out of her skirt when her name was called. It's true. It's not right.
"I'm going to pull in my net," I tell him, crawling off the game bag to haul in the line.
It's a meager catch; six fish each when we split them up. I'll keep two for my family and trade the rest at the Hob for liquor for Haymitch. Gale will take his home; Rory and Vick are always hungry and will eat plenty.
"Are you sure you don't want some of mine?" I ask, knowing the answer.
"No," he answers stubbornly. "I have enough for them."
I wish he'd let me help his family. I have more than enough and don't want it. But as much as he is angry, he is proud.
We reach the fence and climb under the break, pushing our bags of fish before us. I climb to my feet and start brushing dirt from my clothes.
The sound of the hovercraft hits our ears. I jerk my eyes to the sky, looking for the ship.
"Throw the bags!" Gale hisses, shoving our game bags through the breaks in the fence. "Go. Run!"
We tear through the streets as fast as we can to put distance between us and the forbidden border. As we start to get closer to where homes are built, I can see people stepping out of the door and searching the sky for the source of the noise.
"I can't see it!" I call as we run.
"Me neither."
The noise has stopped by the time we've reached the town center. Citizens are clustered in groups outside, murmuring nervously. Merchant and Seam parents alike hug their children close, frantic and fearful. There are no uniformed officers other than our own small squad, though. They appear confused as well, eyeing one another in bewilderment. I turn around fully but see no ship.
I stop running. Gale sees and stops. "We heard it, right? We all heard it," I gasp for breath. He nods. "Where is it? Where could it-" I freeze.
"Katniss?"
"The Victor's Village," I choke. "Prim!"
I've never run so hard, even in the Arena. I even pass Gale who is nearly eight inches taller than me. My feet pound the earth and the blood rushes through my ears as I scramble to get to my sister.
It's a smaller ship than I've seen before, but it's clearly Capital built. The seal burns into my eyes from the side of the ship. It sits in the grassy expanse in the center of our circle of pristine and empty Victor houses. The hatch door is open.
I slow as I enter the Village. I look back to see Gale closing the gap between us. No one else, not even our Peacekeepers, has dared follow us to the source of the noise. I steel my nerves and pick up speed and run to my house.
"Prim!" I run through the door looking for her. If they know I'm poaching I want them to take me, not her. "Prim!" I scream louder into the empty living room. Gale bangs into the living room behind me. I run to the foot of the stairs and am halfway up them when I hear my mother's voice.
"Katniss."
I trip back down the stairs. She's come in from the back porch. Her face is lily white.
"Mrs. Everdeen? What's wrong?" Gale asks her breathlessly.
"Mom, where is she?" I cross to her and grip her arms roughly. "Where's Prim?"
I hear her voice. I look to the back porch. My feet are like lead as I walk slowly to the screen door.
"I think she likes you," Prim is saying when I see her at Lady's pen. She's handing a carrot to Peeta.
My legs feel like they're going to give out. I want to scream. My mother was right. I look back to her. She's struggling to maintain her composure.
Gale crosses to stand next to me. "Who is that?" He looks at their strange clothes, their neat hair. He turns to me. "Katniss, who is that?"
"I'm so sorry," I whisper to him. "I should have told you." He looks confused when I meet his eye. I look over my shoulder at my mother. "I won't let them take Prim."
She closes her eyes and turns away. "Katniss," she manages from behind the palm clamped over her mouth.
"Katniss! Is that you?" Prim calls from the backyard.
I look at Gale. "Don't say too much," I warn.
I breathe for a moment before I push open the back door. Gale follows closely, unwilling to let me face the strangers alone.
Peeta flashes a brilliant smile when he sees me. He hands the carrot back to Prim and crosses to me. I spy Portia standing on the porch, wringing her hands.
"Katniss," he breathes, taking my hand and kissing it with a short bow.
"What are you doing here?" I have to ask immediately.
"In an amazing coincidence, my ship broke down right over Twelve. Amazing." He winks. I glance over at Portia and she covers her face and shakes her head. He leans in. "I might have learned a few things about creating a minor electrical error from my friend in Three." He stands back up. "By my calculations it'll take at least a day to fix," he grins. "So it's pretty lucky we were overhead when it happened."
"You are going to be in so much trouble," Portia moans and sinks to sit on the stairs.
"I know you from the pictures. You're her cousin, right?" Peeta holds out his hand to shake Gale's. Gale doesn't move. I wince when I realize my lie is discovered. I nudge him with my elbow and he extends his palm.
"Gale Hawthorne," he says icily.
"Peeta Snow."
I can see Gale's eyes widen with shock. "Gale, this is President Snow's son," I say. "We met at my Victory Reception."
"She was definitely the only interesting thing there," Peeta laughs.
Prim steps over to stand with us and I fight not to grab her and run. "Prim, why don't you make us some tea?" I say. I meet her eye.
"Okay," she nods and goes inside. I see her join my mother standing inside the screen door.
"Dandelion tea?" Peeta asks hopefully.
I shake my head. "It's too late in the season," I tell him. "I think we have mint leaves, though."
"Oh well. Next time," he smiles. My heart sinks at the thought.
"So what do you do?" Peeta turns to Gale with a friendly expression that is not met.
"I'm going to work in the mines in fall," Gale says without inflection.
"Coal mines?"
"Yes."
"What are they like?"
"Dark."
I force a laugh as though Gale was joking. "We take a tour of them every year with school," I say. "There are all sorts of machinery and tunnels underground."
"I'd really like to see that," Peeta says eagerly.
"You can't!" I start as Portia leaps off the porch and crosses to him. "You've got to stay in the ship. You shouldn't even be outside of it right now!" She's beside herself. "You're going to be in so much trouble, Peeta," she whispers.
"I don't care!" he cries out. "It's a prison being locked up there."
"You're safe there!"
"Mother wasn't."
She tries to think of something to say, but gives up and stomps back to the porch. He looks back to Gale and me with embarrassment. "I'm sorry about that, that was very inappropriate," he mutters.
"Your father doesn't know you're gone?" I stare.
"Not exactly," he admits. "I'm supposed to be learning how to fly hovercrafts, so I picked this one for my test run…and left without the instructor."
I look at Portia, pacing on the porch. "She won't get in trouble, will she?" I look back to Peeta. "With your dad?"
He scoffs. "He likes her better than me." He lets his shoulders sag. "I've kind of…pulled this stuff before. He fired my first couple assistants before he figured out it was my fault. He's not bothered her too much."
"Fired?" Gale asks. I know what he's thinking. Fired or killed.
"Yeah," Peeta says sheepishly. "They got sent back to their home Districts." I glance at Gale. Killed.
"You shouldn't have come," I tell him. "You're going to be in trouble."
"It's worth it," he grins. "I wanted to see you again."
Gale stiffens beside me.
"Tea's ready!" Prim calls. I breathe a sigh of relief.
Portia follows Peeta inside. I grab Gale's elbow. "You should go home."
"Katniss, what the hell is going on?" he hisses.
"I don't have time to explain, just make up some excuse and go."
"I'm not leaving you alone with him."
"He's not allowed to be alone with me anyway."
"What?"
"Gale, go to your family. They need you."
He knows I'm right, so as we walk inside he refuses the mug from Prim. "I should get going," Gale says, speaking to my mother and ignoring Peeta. "My mother will need my help at home."
"I can imagine that with two brothers and a little sister!" Peeta smiles. "I envy your family. Please give your mother my regards."
Gale looks shell-shocked as he turns and walks out the door wordlessly. He doesn't even say goodbye to me.
We take our tea to the living room and Peeta and I sit down on the sofa. My mother and Prim stand awkwardly, unwilling to leave me but unsure if they should stay.
"Please sit down," Peeta says warmly. My mother lowers herself into her rocking chair. Prim moves over and sits on the arm of the sofa by me. I'm annoyed she's so close to Peeta, but relieved I can see she's safe by my side.
"Tell me about your plant remedies," Peeta says eagerly.
"Oh," my mother flushes. "I don't think it's that interesting…"
"Please."
She thinks of what to say. Prim jumps in. "We use aloe to treat burns when there are fires in the mine."
"Really?" His brow furrows.
"Yes, you just crack open the spiked leaf and use the gel inside as it is." She slips down onto the cushion, forcing me closer to Peeta. She leans forward to talk around me. "There's a special kind of mold that grows on the trees in over towards the Seam that can be crushed and eaten to fight infections."
"Mold?" He looks confused.
"It's still just a plant," I say. He nods thoughtfully.
"What's the Seam?" Portia asks.
"It's the part of town where the mining families live," my mother says.
"It's not very big," I say, hoping he won't want to visit my old home.
"Twelve is the smallest district overall," he agrees. "I had to study the regions and their exports a lot."
"What's the largest district?" Prim asks.
"Eleven. It's about six times the size of Twelve."
"Six times?" Her jaw drops open and he laughs a little.
"They're grain production. Wheat, flour, corn. Did you know there are over thirty types of flour made from grain?"
"Really?"
"Yep," he leans forward excitedly. "We grow most of the common flour for breads in the prairies in Eleven, but the heavier wheat is grown in the northern most point."
"I've always wanted to see District One," Prim announces. "I want to see what a diamond looks like."
"Portia, show her," Peeta smiles.
Portia eyes him before reaching up to her earlobe. She unfastens the stud hidden by her black spirals. Prim gapes as Portia hands her the earring. "It's beautiful," she breathes. She turns it and the light sparkles through the cut stone. She holds it up to me and I stare too.
"Would you like one?" Peeta asks.
Prim looks up disbelieving from the earring in her hand. "What?"
"Would you like a diamond?"
My mother sits up straight. "No, she's too young for something like that."
"Oh it's fine," he dismisses. "The mine owner drops off gifts for my father nearly every month, but he doesn't even like them. They just sit in a drawer." He smiles at Prim. "I'll send you some of them."
"Really, it's too much," she insists.
"Peeta," I say softly. "We really can't accept these gifts, they're too much."
He looks disappointed. "I want to."
Portia is watching me when I look over at her. She looks back to Peeta.
"Why don't you keep these?" she says quickly, pulling off the other earring and handing it to Prim. "They're only a quarter carat."
"But…she doesn't have pierced ears!" I argue.
"I can pierce them for you," Portia offers. When she sees Prim's anxiety, she smiles. "Or you can just use them as a pin. I have too many earrings anyway," Portia says, shrugging. "Studs are going out of style anyway."
Prim holds the two small studs in her palm and stares at them. I nudge her gently.
"Thank you," she blurts out. "They're…I've never seen anything like them."
"Thank you, Portia," Peeta says quietly.
I look over at him. He's watching Prim turn the earrings over in her hand. He looks happy and I let myself relax a bit.
My mother notices I ditched my game bag when she stands to make dinner. "I need to run to the butcher for something for dinner," she says. "Do you have a preference, um, Mr. Snow?"
He wrinkles his nose. "Please don't call me that. Peeta is fine. And I don't really have a preference." He turns to me. "You like lamb, don't you?"
"We don't have lamb here," I answer awkwardly.
"What do you have?"
I pick at my pants. "Um. Well, um. Sometimes deer. Boar. Beaver. Squirrel," I cough.
"Squirrel?" He looks alarmed.
"It's really not that bad," I say.
"Um. Okay," he looks at Portia. She looks horrified. "I guess squirrel then."
"We don't have to eat that! Why don't we get something better?" I look to my mother. "How about boar? If they have it. If not, rabbit."
She nods and fidgets. "Prim, why don't you come along and help me carry the food back?"
Prim looks over at me with alarm. "It's okay," I tell her. "I can keep Peeta and Portia company."
My mother collects a basket from the kitchen and eyes me nervously as she herds Prim out the front door. I'm nearly angry as I watch them walk away through the front window. I know she had to leave me. She had to take the chance that they would take me and fly back to the Capital to save Prim. I would have made the same choice.
I turn back to Peeta and Portia. "So-" I start.
"I'm so sorry, Katniss," Portia breaks in. "I know this is a terrible inconvenience." She shoots Peeta a glare. "I had no idea this was going to happen."
"Oh come on, you've been stuck in the Capital for years, too," Peeta snorts. "You can't tell me it's not nice to get out. And look at this place! Isn't it amazing?"
"It's not worth the danger," Portia insists.
"I told you, I'll tell Dad it was all my fault."
"Not for you or me," she raises her voice. "For Katniss! What do you think will happen if your father finds out about her?"
He stops and looks at me. His eyes are wide. "He wouldn't blame her."
"Really?" Portia looks sad. She doesn't believe him. "You know how he…thinks about the tributes."
"She's a Victor," he murmurs.
I watch silently. He looks devastated. His eyes come up to meet mine. "I'm sorry," he says. "I wasn't thinking."
"I'm sure it'll be okay," I lie. "He doesn't even know you're missing yet. Otherwise this place would be overrun with Peacekeepers."
"True," he says hopefully. "He's been tied up with some problems with incoming District resources."
My heartbeat quickens. "Really? I hadn't heard of anything."
"I haven't heard anything more," Peeta says thoughtfully. "I guess the Peacekeepers took care of it."
I hope he's wrong. Portia politely interrupts. "Can we help you with dinner?"
I lay in bed that night, exhausted but unable to sleep. Forcing polite conversation in front of my mother and Prim took all the energy I had. I wanted a chance to speak with Peeta alone. I think Prim might be right. Maybe he will listen. But we can't be alone. Portia would be watching. And probably my mother.
I hear the clicking of the clock and sigh. I've been lying awake for hours. I wonder if I should get up and take the clock off the wall. The clicking stops. I look up. It starts up again.
I realize it's not the clock when the little white stone flashes in the moonlight against the window pane. I sit up in bed to make sure I saw it. The next stone taps the glass.
I climb out from under the covers and hurry over to the window. He's on the lawn in front of the house. Alone. He smiles and waves.
I sink back and wonder what to do. I realize there may be only one thing I can do.
I find my boots in the dark. I pull them on and yank the jacket I left on the floor over my nightgown. Tiptoeing down the hallway, I slip down the stairs and unlock the front door. I step out on to the porch and carefully pull the door closed behind me.
He's at the bottom of the steps. He's watching me. I step down and off the porch.
We stand in silence for a few minutes. I don't know what to say. I'm guessing he doesn't either.
"Follow me," I finally manage.
I lead him behind the town, through the trees that run through backyards. He catches up to me and we walk side by side, watching for roots and animals. The dry leaves crunch under our shoes. I can hear his breathing over my shoulder. The houses thin out and the road is now less packed and neat.
"This is it," I tell him as we reach the meadow.
The little white puffs have dwindled in number, but they still pop in the bright moonlight. The moon is so full it's like midday in the open meadow. I hear him inhale as he realizes where we are. I watch him taking it all in. I can't imagine never seeing open green fields or trees surrounding a clearing. It must be like a prison. Like the mines.
"Are there that many stars?" He drops his head back and his throat gleams in the moonlight. "I've never seen so many."
"There's a lot less light here at night," I tell him. "It's easier to see them all."
"It's incredible."
I look up. "Yeah, it is."
I can see him look at me in the corner of my eye. I turn to face him. He leans over to me.
"Wait." I put a hand on his shoulder to keep him from kissing me. He stops. My face burns. "I…I can't."
His shoulders sink. "I know." It feels like my brain spins when he says this.
"You. You do?"
He sighs. He drops down in the field. "Yeah. I know."
I sit down next to him. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay," he says numbly. "I don't even want this life, why would anyone else?"
He picks at the dandelion puff next to his knee silently for a long time. He plucks it and blows the seed helicopters away. In the blue moonlight they look like snowflakes falling to earth. I sit silently next to him and we wait until all of them have settled back to the field.
"Mom loved it when they turned white like this. She'd take me to the conservatory and run her fingers down the entire row of dandelions. The seeds would go everywhere," he smiles softly. "It was such a mess." He drops the stem and becomes absorbed in the grass under his heel.
"What happened?" I ask before I wonder if I should.
"She drowned." He rips at a handful of grass. "There's a reflecting pool on the grounds. She…fell in."
"I'm sorry," I whisper. I let the silence build again. "I lost my father."
"I remember," he says softly. "In this mines?"
"An explosion. There was no body."
"I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault." Although it may be.
"Life's never the same, is it?"
"No."
I pluck a dandelion puff and spin the seeds into the night air.
"When you put the flowers around Rue. That's when I knew I wanted to meet you. Because you know what it means. To lose someone. You know what it costs." I say nothing. He looks out over the field. "I hate the Games."
I think I gasped out loud. He looks back over. "I really do, Katniss. I'm not just saying that because you had to fight."
"But. Why?"
"The debt from the Dark Days was settled long ago," he says, stretching out his legs in front of him. "There's no need for all this blood anymore. The Districts would be more stable if we put more funding and resources in them. Sanctions don't work, it just makes everything harder. These supply blackouts are just the start." He glances over. "And…my mother hated them. She told me…about her brother."
I roll onto my knees and sit a little closer. I can't show him how eager I am. I don't want him to mistake the attention. "Have you ever told your father? About what you think?"
"Once," he snorts. "He called me an idiot and threw me out of his office. He doesn't think I have what it takes to lead."
"I think you do. You understand people, that's more important for a leader." I cover my mouth. "That was out of line, I shouldn't have said that."
"There aren't any cameras, Katniss. I want to hear you talk. About anything."
I smile and try to sound brave. "Do you want to lead Panem?"
He looks at me with a hint of surprise. He opens and shuts his mouth. "You know, I've never thought about not leading Panem." He laughs. "I'm sure Dad would love to give the job to someone else."
"He trusts you, though."
"Maybe. That doesn't mean he agrees with me." He flicks a beetle off my boot. "I guess I want to lead. I've been preparing for it my whole life. It's all I'm supposed to think about."
"Not getting involved with tributes?" I smile.
"No tributes," he smiles back. "He keeps sending over generals' daughters for these terrible chaperoned dinners."
"Probably grander than rabbit and wild onion soup," I admit.
"I've never had a better dinner," he tells me. I believe him. I look away.
"I really do like you, Katniss. I've never met anyone like you. And when I saw you interviewed and you talked about Prim and you put the flowers over Rue and Thresh let you go…I just…I don't know, something felt right. For the first time in a long time. Everything's been wrong for a long time but you felt right."
"You can't say things like that." I climb to my feet, angrily brushing grass from my nightgown. "Your father would have me killed if he thought I was disrupting your life."
"He's not that bad," he argues, standing up as well.
"Peeta," I say. I hold my tongue, searching for the words. I'm amazed he can know so much about our world and so little about his own father. "You know he wouldn't approve. And he can make sure you don't see me again. I can't risk going to prison or…anything happening to my family. I can't. No matter how much I like you."
I can't believe I said that. I want to kick myself. I'm almost too preoccupied with my own stupidity to listen to what he says next.
His shoulders sag and he looks back to the field. "I wish…I wish my mother was still around. This is because she died."
"Hunh?"
"After she died, when I was old enough to start dating, he made the rule about no tributes or District-born girls. He says it's because they're trying to get wealth and power, but I think it's all because he thinks it's too different a life. It's not, though. Is it? We're all just people." He toes the earth. "That's what Mom always said."
I consider him for a moment. He's better educated. And much better dressed than anyone here in Twelve. And he's had access to medical care most of us only dream of. But he isn't so different from Madge. Or Tate. Or maybe even Prim.
"She was right," I murmur. "Were you close to your mother?"
He smiles. "Yeah. I mean, Dad was so busy, but I loved spending time with her. She had a beautiful singing voice."
"I've heard stories about her voice," I smile.
"Whenever she was sad, I'd ask her to sing to me. It would make her smile." His voice changes. "She was sad a lot."
I don't respond. He looks over at me. "Do you think the rumors are true?"
"What rumors?"
"I don't know," he says. "I just keep hearing…rumors. That she drowned herself on purpose."
I swallow hard.
"She wouldn't have done that, would she?" he turns his face to mine.
"I…I can't imagine she'd want to leave you."
He looks appreciative at my answer. I try to change the subject. "And who knows if what people say is true? People at all those receptions just talk and talk."
"They do," he agrees. "But when they all say the same thing…" He looks up at the sky. "Katniss, are your friends happy?"
"What?"
"Here in Twelve," he looks at me seriously. "You've eaten squirrel and dandelions before; I may not know much about the dietary habits in the Districts but that can't be by choice. Is it bad here?"
"No," I lie. "It's just…sometimes things are a bit harder and we have to find creative ways to get by."
"You don't have to lie to me."
I slump off my knees onto my hip. "Yes, I do."
"Why?" He shifts in the grass to face me. "Why do you think you have to lie?"
"I don't know what will happen if I tell you the truth. I'm afraid…things will get worse."
"If I try to help?"
I avoid his eyes. "Yeah. If you tell someone we need help…I think it would get worse."
I can see how much this bothers him, so I let the silence pervade. I wonder if I've already doomed Twelve.
"I want…to help. But if you don't want me to do anything, I won't." He reaches over and takes my hand so I'll look at him. "I promise."
I stare at him, wondering why I trust him. "Thank you."
He smiles at me for a moment. "I should let you get back to bed," he says with a hint of melancholy. "I have to pretend to fix the ship tomorrow morning to fly home anyway."
"I hope Portia hasn't woken up," I worry. "She'd definitely murder you."
"I unloaded her pistol before I left," he grins as he gestures for me to take the lead and I begin the walk back to my home. We're silent for the walk, again watching our step and slipping through trees and backyards. We reach the end of the Victor's Village and slip around my house to sneak to the ship's hatch. Portia isn't outside screaming, so I assume she's still asleep.
I stop outside the hatch and turn to Peeta. "If I can't say so tomorrow – in front of Portia or my family - thank you for coming. I'm…I'm glad you did."
"I'm glad, too," he whispers.
"You are a surprise, aren't you?" I murmur out loud.
"Almost as much as you."
I watch him cautiously lean closer. I know I should refuse. But I don't want to this time. This last time.
I let him kiss me. And I kiss him back. His arms move to my waist and I rest my hands on his shoulders. I open my mouth and let him slip his tongue inside to caress mine. I sigh into his cheek.
I finally pull back. He gives me one more peck on the lips.
"Go," I say with a wistful smile. He climbs the steps silently and watches me until the hatch closes with a quiet click. I I turn back to the house.
My mother stands in her bedroom window, watching me.
He leaves early the next morning, lifting up in the sky and vanishing in the sunlight as the ships speeds back to the Capital. My mother and Prim waited inside after he thanked them for their gracious hospitality. He bid me farewell on the porch, Portia standing on the grass below and watching us sadly.
I dread going back inside. Finally I realize I must get this over with and open the door. She's screaming before I close it behind me.
"What were you thinking? What happened?" my mother demands, stomping over to me.
"We went for a walk," I mutter, staring at the floor and crossing my arms over my chest.
"A walk," she mocks. "In the middle of the night. In your nightgown."
"I was wearing a jacket!" I yell.
"What's going on?" Prim asks, tugging on our mother's sleeve.
My mother purses her lips and glares at me before answering. "Why don't you tell her?"
My face burns. "Last night when you were asleep. I went for a walk with Peeta. To the meadow."
"Alone?"
I nod. She looks horrified. "What did you do? Katniss, you didn't-"
"No!" I shout. "We just talked."
"I saw you at the ship, that's not talking," my mother snarls.
"He kissed me goodbye! He's leaving and he's never going to see me again!"
"How do you know that?" my mother cries out.
"I told him we couldn't see each other."
"You what?"
I glance down at Prim. "I did what Prim suggested. He is kind, after all," I sneer. "I told him we couldn't be together and he agreed." I look back to my mother, trying to hide my disappointment. "We're going to see each other every year at the Games and it can't be anything more."
Prim speaks first. "Was he okay?"
"Yeah, he understood. I think because of his mother."
My mother starts to speak, but I can't listen to anymore. I know he's not the enemy she sees. "I'm going hunting." I turn on my heel and am out the back kitchen door before she can stop me.
I cross through town this time, rather than the fields. I need to make a stop first.
It takes all the courage I have to knock on the old wooden door. I can hear Posy singing to herself inside. The door swings open. "Katniss!" Hazelle sweeps forward and folds me into her arms. "I was so worried. When Gale told me-"
"I'm okay," I say, patting her back. "It's fine, they're gone."
She releases me and turns over her shoulder. "Gale! It's Katniss. She's here."
He's on her heels in seconds. "Catnip!" He grips me shoulders to take me in, examining for any trace of damage. "You're okay?"
"I'm fine, really," I tell him firmly. We stand awkwardly and he slowly releases my shoulders. "I was going to go hunting," I say quietly. "Wanna come?"
He glances at his mother. "Yeah, I have a little time. Be back in a few, Ma." He follows me out the door and we walk in silence to the fence; the tension boiling in the stillness.
We're through the fence and into the tree cover when he takes a large step in front of me to cut me off and halt my steps. He doesn't need to ask, I can see the questions written on his face.
"We met at a party. He liked me. He wanted…to see me."
"And what about you?"
"I…I can't see him."
"And you told him that?"
"Yes." I shouldn't be angry; this isn't Gale's fault. But I am angry.
He scoffs. "I'm surprised they didn't haul you onto that ship. Or just kill you here. You're either really brave or really stupid."
"It's easy for you to stand there and judge me when you don't know anything about him," I snap, stepping around him and marching to the hollow log where I last hid my bow and quiver.
"What's your problem?" Gale's on my heels, pulling his hunting knives from a nearby hollow in a tree. "They're dangerous and you got yourself mixed up with them."
"He's not dangerous," I sigh. "He's just like you or me. Everyone assumes he's just like his dad but he's not." I shoulder the quiver and grip the bow tight. "And you figure out how not to get mixed up with someone in his position."
"I don't get you," Gale grits his teeth. "You're saying you're fine with him one minute and the next you're saying you got stuck with him."
"Maybe it's both," I huff and turn to walk into the woods.
He's in front of me again. "Katniss."
I set my cold glare at my shoes, but I know it's useless when I look up at my closest friend. "It doesn't matter, Gale. He's not coming back."
But I can see that it does matter to him.
I spread out the pages and pages of designs across the sofa, chairs, tables and countertops. Prim stands on her toes and frowns. "You're bringing back earmuffs?"
"I guess so."
"You hate earmuffs."
"Not Victor Katniss," I glower. "She loves earmuffs. And pink," I say with disdain as I look at another knee-length floral design.
"You look so nice in pink," my mother offers, lifting a design for shoulder-high gloves off the counter. "You should wear it more often."
Prim and I exchange a look. The knock on the door saves my mother from my eye-roll.
"Hello?" Gale calls as he opens the door and pokes his head inside.
"Come on in!" I yell over my shoulder. My mother winces at the noise. "Sorry," I grin at Prim.
"What's all this?" he asks as he steps inside and papers blow off the sofa in the breeze.
"My talent," I laugh, holding up a picture of a long green dress with a collar of spikes made from antlers.
"That's…nice."
I throw the design on the pile on the sofa and smirk. "Not really. Cinna sent these to me since I apparently have no natural skills."
"You can sing," he argues.
"I'm not singing for the cameras." It always makes me think of Rue now.
"So instead you're putting antlers on dresses?" Gale tries not to laugh.
"They're all the rage!" I mimic the Capital accent and laugh along with Gale and Prim. My mother gives me a sharp look and a disapproving eyebrow. She sighs with a smile and shrugs her shoulders.
"Prim, come help me crush these leaves," she calls, turning into the kitchen.
Gale and I stay in the living room. I pretend to mull over the designs, trying to avoid the unspoken question between us since Peeta left a month ago. Every day gets a little easier as the memory fades, but there is an unresolved tension in our friendship.
"How's your mother?" I ask.
"Fine. Got another laundry client," he offers, examining a checkered cape with disdain.
"Good," I attempt to say brightly.
"How's your friend?"
I turn to face him. I can see he's been waiting to ask for a long time. "I don't know. We said goodbye."
He searches my face, wanting to make sure I haven't lied again. I look at him sadly. I regret the choices that cost me his trust.
"Sorry to hear that. I guess," he says. "It probably would have been nice to have an ally there." I try not to smile. That must have been incredibly hard for Gale to say.
"Probably," I say quietly, stacking a design of hatboxes. "Mom, do we have any twine-"
The noise of the hovercraft is familiar but terrifying all the same. It sounds like it's coming from all around us. Gale and I run to the kitchen. I grab Prim.
"I thought you said this was over!" my mother yells over the din, covering her ears.
"It is! It was!" I yell. I look out the back window. It's not the same hovercraft.
It's a Capital Peacekeeper ship.
"Run!" I yank on Prim's arm and tear towards the front of the house.
"Katniss!" Gale blocks the front door. I see what he saw first. Another hovercraft landing in the front lawn. I look back to Gale in terror. He looks at Prim. "Upstairs!"
"Go upstairs," I tell Prim. "Hide under your bed. Mom-"
"Katniss, don't let them take you!" Prim grips my hands with her small fingers. "I can't lose you!"
"Prim, go!"
But it's too late. The door opens without knocking. I push Prim behind me and stand up straight.
Two Peacekeepers march in without a world. My mother gasps as the kitchen door opens and another set of Peacekeepers enter. They scan the kitchen. The two in front of us scan the living room. Two more enter and march past up, upstairs and out of sight. I feel Prim's fingers clutching my shirt. Gale is motionless beside me. My mother whimpers.
The Peacekeepers from upstairs descend. I see one nod to the Peacekeeper standing closest to me. He raises a small communicator device to his mouth.
"We're clear inside, sir."
I watch dumbstruck as a figure appears in the hatchway of the ship outside my open front door. His white hair is unmistakable. My heart pounds in my ears as his slow steps bring him closer to my home and family. My mother gasps. I reach over and grip her hand. I watch as Peeta appears in the hatchway door. Two Peacekeepers flank him as he follows his father to the front door.
Snow steps into the house first. His greeting smile is sickening. He looks around pleasantly, as though admiring our home. He sighs cheerily and takes a step forward, turning to watch his son as he is escorted inside.
Peeta looks terrible. He looks ashamed as he looks up at me. "Katniss-" he starts in a whisper.
"Miss Katniss Everdeen," Snow finishes, turning with a flourish and stepping over to me. My mother's hand is like a vice on my wrist. "Our 74th Hunger Games victor. Daughter of Lillian and Edmund Everdeen," he eyes my mother. "And older sister to one…Primrose," he notes, peering around me to where Prim is hidden. I flinch and try to block her further.
He stands back up and smiles again at me. "I had to meet the girl who caught my son's eye." He glances at where Peeta stares at the floor. "Shall we have a chat?"
We sit around the table in our dining room, staring at the cups of tea. No one is drinking. Gale stares hard at Peeta from where he sits next to me. Prim trembles on my other side while my mother grips her hand from the end of the table. Peeta stares at his lap. Snow thanks an attendant who brings him an electronic tablet.
"Thank you, Percy." He turns to face me across the table. "Now then. I had a feeling my boy found you interesting after I realized he had sought you out for a tour of our lovely garden. But I had no idea that interest was so…involved." He clicks a few buttons on the tablet as he speaks. "As leader of a country, you can imagine how important it is for me that I am fully aware of all goings on in Panem. Especially in my own family." He pauses to give his son a sharp glare. "So I'm sure you will understand how upsetting it was for me when my engineers in the hovercraft bay were the ones to show me this security video."
He holds up the tablet. My face burns. There are Peeta and I, mouths pressed together, clutching one another outside the hovercraft he brought here last month. Gale's fists clench involuntarily. Snow ends the reel and sets down the tablet.
"And, upon inspection of his quarters, to have his maid turn over these." Snow reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a stack of small square papers. He tosses them on the tables. The photos of my life in Twelve scatter across the tabletop. I look up at Gale as he stares at my betrayal.
"Gale," I whisper softly. I think better and say nothing more.
"And you are…her cousin?" Snow's eyes already know I've lied.
"Yes." Gale answers carefully.
"Of course," he smiles.
Snow inhales sharply and folds his hands on the tablet where it rests on the table. "I do my best to maintain the reputation of my family name," he begins thoughtfully. "It's very important for me that Peeta is respected and admired in the manner that befits someone of his status. And when things like this happen…" He pauses and his knuckles turn white as he takes a moment to contain his rage. He inhales and exhales slowly.
"Needless to say, I've had words with everyone who has seen these images." Prim fidgets in fear. Snow eyes her and I grip her hand. "However, I have no guarantee that this…unpleasantness…has not been shared with others. That it is not now common gossip. So here is how we will handle this."
My stomach drops. Prim's too young to die. Gale has siblings to care for. My mother has patients that need her.
"Katniss will come to the Capital and be housed at my home. Under strict supervision," he gives me a cold glare. "She will be announced as Peeta's companion at the celebration for his eighteenth birthday in two weeks. He will make appearances with her on the Victory Tour, under guard, and upon their return to the Capital at the end of the Tour Peeta will announce their engagement."
Silence hangs in the air. I'm not breathing. My mother lets a sob escape her throat and she covers her mouth. Prim hangs on to my hand. Gale says nothing.
"Dad, that's so quick," Peeta says quietly. "Maybe we should-"
"I hardly think waiting any longer will repair the damage you've done. Clearly you know her well enough that you'd risk your reputation and mine over this," Snow says icily. His anger is well controlled and petrifying. "You will not argue with me again," Snow says with finality like stone. Peeta is silenced. He looks over at me. I stare at the pictures on the table. The one of Prim laughing joyfully is on top.
"Will my family stay here?"
Snow narrows his eyes as he considers me. "Yes."
"Undisturbed?" I ask carefully.
My mother looks at me in horror. I'm being too forward, too reckless. I don't care. He's probably going to have me killed anyway and I'd rather give Gale a chance to get Mom and Prim through the woods and to safety.
"Yes." He smiles. He seems to think we understand one another. I know he's dangerous and he appreciates my fear.
"Then this seems like wonderful news." I plaster a dead-eyed smile on my face. Peeta looks over at me, caught between relief and concern. "Do I have time to pack my things?" I say quickly before he can complicate things.
"You will have plenty of things provided for you," Snow says with the same sickly smile. "But," he adds as my face falls, "if you would like to bring some keepsakes, I suppose I can permit you a few minutes."
Prim and my mother follow me upstairs, but Snow insists Gale must wait downstairs for me. It's already started; I'm only allowed to be around approved persons. I watch him on the sofa opposite Peeta. They say nothing as Snow meanders around my home, eyeing our cherished belongings with disdain.
I climb the stairs slowly, feeling the wooden railing beneath my fingers for the last time. I step into the room that's been home for just a few months. I stare at the dresser, the closet, the bed, the bathroom. I have to figure out what to take that won't be considered dangerous and destroyed.
Prim releases her tears as she walks into my room. I kneel down and take her in my arms.
"You'll be okay, Prim. That's all that matters to me."
"You're going to be gone forever," Prim cries.
"You'll see me on TV," I smile, pulling back from her to wipe her tears. I look at my mother. "You'll come to my wedding," I force cheer into my voice. "I bet Cinna will design the dress. It'll be magnificent."
My mother cries and looks away. I want to punch her for not helping to comfort Prim.
"Help me find what to take," I tell her, standing and moving to the dresser. She sniffs and pulls open the drawers.
"Take this necklace," she says, pulling up the leather cord with the broken arrowhead strung on it. "Dad made this for you."
My mother steps over the dresser, smearing the tears from her face. "Take your hunting belt. With the loops for the game bags. You love that belt," she chokes.
I grab a canvas pack from my closet and throw the belt and necklace in. My hunting boots follow, a shirt my mother made for me, my Reaping dress, and a book on herbs Prim made as a school project.
"Take this," Prim says, reaching into my sock drawer to find the hidden parcel. The dandelion pin shines as she hands it to me. "He'll want you to wear it from now on."
I take it. I remember the dandelion bed. Running through the rows of the flowers in the conservatory. I hold onto the faint hope this won't be the end of my life. I fasten the dandelion on my shirt.
I turn and face my mother and Prim. "I have to go now."
My mother nods. Prim cries. I hold her again as tight as I can. I give my mother a stiff hug. I descend the stairs.
Gale stands and comes to the bottom of the stairs. Snow watches him with disapproval, but he doesn't tell the Peacekeepers to yank him away. I reach the landing and stand in front of him. He opens his arms and I leap into them, hugging him hard.
"I'm so sorry," I whisper as quietly as I can.
"I'll come get you," he murmurs in a barely audible voice.
A Peacekeeper is there immediately, pushing us apart. "This contact is highly inappropriate," he tells us and he uses the butt of his rifle to push Gale three feet away from me.
I stare at Gale's face. I can tell he's fuming with rage. I beg my eyes to tell him to stay calm. Snow is watching him. He knows.
Peeta coughs awkwardly. "Are you ready?" he asks quietly, standing up but remaining by the chair.
"Yes," I smile without meaning it. "Let's go."
I walk to the door, but the Peacekeepers stop me from leaving. "You will wait to be escorted," the shorter one tells me. Peeta comes up beside me. The two Peacekeepers from the living room lead us out. I look over my shoulder to see the two from the kitchen are following us closely.
I see Snow bow to my mother and Prim before two Peacekeepers lead him out behind us.
Walking across the lawn, I try to capture the feel of the earth beneath my feet. The smell of the trees with a faint trace of coal dust. I wish I'd visited the Hob that day. I wish I'd gone swimming. I wish I'd told my friends I loved them.
As we reach the Hovercraft, I see Haymitch standing on his porch. His shirt is untucked and a bottle is in his hand, but I can see he is sober enough. I raise one palm in farewell. He nods. He raises the bottle to his mouth and turns to go back inside.
I climb the ramp carefully. It's dark inside compared to the sunlight of the day, but I can see it's much nicer than the ones used for the Tributes during the Games. The seats are plush and inviting; there appears to be attendants to make Peeta and Snow more comfortable during the short ride. Peeta gestures for me to sit in a seat by the window. I slide my bag under the chair and sit, protecting my few belongings with my legs as a barrier. He sits next to me, a whisper of a smile ghosting over his lips when he notices the dandelion pin on my shirt. Snow sits across from him, unsmiling.
The hatch slams shut and I hear the Peacekeeper pound the sidewall to let the pilot know we're cleared. The ground moves away from my eyes as I look out the window. The sunbeams piercing the small windows dash across the floor as the hovercraft turns around to aim for the Capital. I see my mother, Prim and Gale on the porch. I press three fingers to my lips and then rest the fingers on the window. Prim collapses into Gale's arms.
We lift into the sky.