She hates saying good-bye.

"Why are you leaving?"

It's not only good-bye, but parting gestures and phrases in general that she hates.

"Why did you leave?"

She will never accept it to his face, but the reason why she flees his side whenever the alarm sounds, the reason why she walks quickly when they separate before classes ifs because of that.

"Is it bad that I am so selfish that I want you to be with me?"

Good-byes are the epitome of losing and he knows how she feels about losing, at all.

"Would you stay with me if I asked you?"

But there are times when parting ways is necessary, and when saying goodbyes, while hard for one is necess-

"I…I c-can't say…I really can't…"

He is laying there, not saying a word, and she can't help but cry, it starts as a brief trickle, and suddenly she feels like her own blood wants to claw it's way thru her eyes balls, falling thru her cheeks, pooling by her feet, streaming down her.

"What will I do..? Please don't leave m-"

And as she kneels besides him, pressing her hand against his, she can't help but fall silently into another sobbing wreck, the tears steamy and hot on her cheeks, and she distantly feels someone pushing her once vibrant red brown, but now ashen colored hair, and she feels those hands patting her back, trying to ease her pain and why can't the pain just leave her? Why does she feel this void within herself?

"Asuka…it's all right…"

And, evoking all of the pride and force of will that is left from the old Asuka Langley Sohryu, she quiets down her sobs, stifling the tremors of her body, kneeling next to his casket, pressing her still warm lips to his cold ones, feeling Rei's supportive arms embracing her from behind, the wetness on her shoulder telling her she is crying too.

"This is not a good-by, because I'll see you soon, my love."

She cries softly, uttering the last good-bye to the man she loves.

----- -----

She loves daydreaming about that kiss.

"Hey Shinji…"

She has caught herself more than once looking at his profile in class, simply staring at his face from the back. She will be typing on her red laptop, her hands intertwined at the bridge of her nose, and she just has to move her head so slightly to the left to watch him while he watches the day go by, his face tilted just so, his right hand propping him up, squishing his cheeks, while a sigh will escape from his lips every now and then as he sit silently looking out the window.

"I'm bored…"

She will blush and turn her face, being careful of never giving out that information, but it's now more often that she catches herself looking at him, at his lips, and she unconsciously licks her own, the pink tip of her tongue wetting her parched lips, and her fingers will lightly trace their outline while watching him do his homework, his brow knitted in concentration, his face the very picture of diligence.

"Wanna kiss..?"

He will sometimes look up at her, and she will feel the heat growing in her face, ad they will fall in their usual routine.

"Have you washed your teeth?"

At school, she will throw a ball of paper at his head, and he will ignore her, concentrating on his book, and his lips will start moving, reading in silence the lesson of the day (Aishiteru) and she can't help but follow every single movement with her eyes.

"Close your eyes."

At NERV she will stare at her HUD, opening her eyes just a bit, watching him thru half closed eyes, remembering every curve of his face, the way his cheekbones show a little thru the baby fat, how his face would look once he begins to grow a stubble (Will his kisses itch and scratch against her face?) the way his eyes flutter as he concentrates on the harmonics of the test.

"Your breath tickles me."

At home, she will get up and go to the fridge, and hand him an apple and a smile and feel her throat tighten and stifle a whimper as he keeps reading, pushing the glasses he now has to wear (And which make the similarities with his father even more obvious, at least physically) biting into the apple, watching the way his throat moves up and down as he swallows.

"I should never kiss for fun."

And she can't help but run her fingers against her lips once more as she looks up the ceiling, submerged within the hot water of the bathtub.