2.4 So? Anything Yet?

"So? Anything yet?" Fanny wonders out loud.

"Don't ask," Michelle snaps.
"Hm, not so cheerful this morning."

"I took the damn test, okay; I peed on every pee stick in the box, and they all said negative. That's it. It was all a waste. I can't get pregnant. Just another thing I fail at."
"Don't worry yet. They said the hormones you took could give a false negative. Give it a week," Fanny reasons.

"I think I just need to get away," Michelle states.

"That's a good idea. Go back to Vegas. Talia needs help moving her stuff anyway, right? You said she was moving next week? Perfect timing. I'll take care of your classes. Go, have fun!"

Michelle is stunned by Fanny's cheerful tone and willingness to take over extra classes, but she figures she should take advantage while she can. She dials Talia's number as she heads back to the guesthouse.

Fanny knows that she surprised Michelle a bit, but she is so thrilled that she wants to give her a grandchild. She can already picture the little tutus.

…

"I can't even get pregnant. I fail at everything Talia. Your husband is old enough to have voted for Lincoln and you got knocked up. Can I have a baby? No," Michelle complains as she downs martinis. Talia sits next to her, listening patiently, but she's sipping ice water while her friend gets sloshed.

"I have to say, this isn't as fun when you're drunk and I'm not."

"I'm not drunk yet, Talia, but you're right. Let's head back to your apartment. I've been way worse. I doubt I'll even be hung over."

…

"Michelle?" Rick knocks on the bathroom door, "are you alright in there?" A sleepy, pregnant Talia emerges from the bedroom. Rick gives her a heartfelt kiss.
"Mmm, good morning," she says groggily, "what's going on?"

"Michelle is apparently really hung over. Why did you let her get so drunk?"
"What? She wasn't that bad last night. We came home early."

"Well, you can take the girl out of Vegas…" Michelle heaves loudly over their conversation.
"You go make breakfast darling," she rubs her stomach, "we're starving."
"Right. Coming right up."

"Michelle? Are you alright?" Talia asks, "I'm coming in, okay?" Talia enters the bathroom to find Michelle hugging the toilet. "Oh sweetie…"

"Why is this happening?" Michelle asks pathetically.

"Did you sneak drinks before we went out?"

"No, you saw everything I drank."
"If I didn't know better, I'd say you were pregnant."

…

Michelle rushes into the house. Fanny is in the kitchen with Michael. Apparently he is back in town for a little while.

"Fanny! Fanny!" Michelle runs at her, holding a pregnancy test high in the air like she just won a trophy. "I did it! Hubbell did it! Well, his little guys did… Anyway, I'm pregnant!"

The women jump up and down with joy. Fanny smells Michelle and stops jumping.
"Why do you smell like a bar top?"
"Um…"

"Michelle, did you drink last night?" Fanny asks, concerned and angry.

"I might've had one drink…" Fanny raises an eyebrow. "Okay, I did. I didn't get wasted, but yes, I was trying to forget about how much I hate myself sometimes. I thought I couldn't get pregnant and was really upset, but I can! It's a miracle. I knew Hubbell could do it!"

"Michelle, you can't drink when you're expecting. It's really bad."

"Like how bad?"
"Unfortunately you won't know for a while if there are any problems," Michael cuts in.

"Problems?" Michelle asks, recoiling with anxiety.

"A lot of times people who drink while pregnant have babies with disabilities- both physical and mental."

"So I screwed this up too?" Michelle starts to tear up. "I'll leave you to your kinky breakfast. I'll be in my house…" She leaves, and Fanny shoots Michael an evil look.

"Michelle!" Fanny calls out as she follows her to the house in back. "Michelle, wait."

Michelle stops to hear what Fanny says, but when she turns around, Fanny sees how upset she really is. Her sad, puffy eyes look like they're melting off her face.
"It will be okay," Fanny says with so much assurance that Michelle can't help but smile. "We will be okay, and she will be okay," Fanny says as she places her hand on Michelle's stomach.
Michelle flinches, not yet used to the idea.
"She?"

"Well, yeah. You are going to have the most beautiful little ballerina ever."
"And if it's a boy?" Michelle asks, poking fun at Fanny's assertions.
"Don't say such awful things." Fanny turns and goes back to the kitchen, leaving Michelle with her mouth open.

"I think you're going to be a boy," she whispers down to her stomach, "please be a boy, just to spite her confidence about this. Besides, I want to name you after your daddy."