2.5 Getting Used to It

Michelle walks into the Oyster Bar with a stack of flyers.

"Barkeep?" She says playfully. Godot turns around and smiles at her. She's leaning over, elbows on the bar, to get his attention. He can see right down her shirt. Are her boobs getting bigger? He thinks to himself. He leans in to kiss her.

"Woah, there surfer boy."

"What?" He asks teasingly, "Don't want anyone seeing us? That's fine by me. There's a spot in back where there aren't any cameras…

"Not today…" She says sadly. Changing the subject, "I need you to hand out these flyers to everyone. Same deal as last year. This is a fundraiser for the dance academy, but this year it's a potluck. Maybe we won't lose money this time," she laughs.

"You lost money on your fundraiser?"
"Yeah, we did. It was my fault, then I maced all the students. It wasn't really my summer…"

"So the same deal as last year, huh?"
"Yeah," she asks, confused, "Give everyone who comes in here a flyer, like when we had the meeting for the supermarket."

"So are we going to do the same thing after the fundraiser?" he winks, "You're killing me in that tight dress."

"Tight? This isn't tight…" she looks down and sees that the buttons on the top of the dress are bulging. She looks up at him, mouth open, and stutters, "I um, I have to go now. Give everyone flyers."
Michelle rushes out of the restaurant to get away from Godot. How can I lead him on while I'm pregnant? Am I going to be alone forever? No, not alone, I'll be a mom. That's not the same, she thinks. She thinks about Hubbell's hands on her body. They were so soft, so gentle when they made love. She wanted to be wrapped in his arms.

"Michelle?" Ginny asks. She snaps out of her daydream and notices the four girls staring at her, worried. She realizes that she has her arms wrapped around her upper body, hugging herself in public.
"Are you alright?" Boo asks.

"Yeah, totally. I'm great." They stare at each other for a minute. "I have to get back to the studio… Fanny has stuff for me to do…" Michelle leaves quickly and gets in her car. The girls go into the Oyster Bar and sneak some fries, knowing that Fanny and Michelle are both at the studio.

…

Michelle walks into the house, looking for Fanny.

"Oh, my god," she exclaims, quickly covering her nose and mouth. "What is that smell?"

"I'm making salmon for dinner," Fanny says cheerfully. Michelle heads to the bathroom and promptly throws up. She comes back to the kitchen, hand still covering her nose.

"No more fish, please," she begs.

"Did you hang up all the fliers like I asked you to?" Fanny asks, unfazed by Michelle's gagging.
"Yes, everything's taken care of, oh my god, are you sure that's not rotten?"

"It's fine. Pregnancy makes your nose and gag reflexes really strong. Go back to the guest house and I'll bring you something else for dinner."

"You don't need to make me dinner, Fanny. Oh god," she gags and runs out the door. She throws up in the garden and then heads to her house.

…

"Here," Fanny says as she hands her a plate of chicken and broccoli.

"That smells so good," Michelle says, "I'm starving."

"So should I send out the email cancelling your classes?"

"Why would you cancel my classes?"

"Well, you obviously can't keep up with them. We'll postpone them and resume next year."

"Fanny, that's ridiculous. I'm fine, and people paid for these classes. I'm pregnant, not an invalid."
"I will let you teach if you don't dance."
"What? That's so unfair. Why can't I dance? You know I need to show them the steps. I can't stand with a cane like you can; I need to dance with the classes. It's how I teach."
"Not going to happen."
"You're not the boss of me."
Fanny yells, "That is my grandchild in there! I am not letting you do anything stupid that could mess it up!"

Michelle backs away, surprised by the accusation.
"You think I'm going to mess this up. I knew it. I am fine. Thank you for dinner, but I think you need to go now."

"Michelle, that's not what I meant…"
"Good night, Fanny. Since I'm pregnant, and so freaking incapable, I think I need to go to sleep now."

"Alright, I'll talk to you tomorrow."
"Don't count on it."

Fanny turns as she leaves the room, "I haven't said it, so I probably should now: thank you for doing this. Good night."

Michelle brings her knees to her chest and hugs them. She sits in her bed for a while, unable to sleep.

…

"Good morning," she says cautiously as she walks into the studio.
"Michelle," Fanny greets cheerfully.
"Good morning, girls," Michelle says to the advanced class. They're getting ready for their morning lesson with Fanny. Saturdays are always busy days for them.

"Are you alright?" Sasha asks her.

"Yeah, I just didn't sleep much last night."
"Do you want some coffee?" Boo asks, handing her a cup. "I got one for Melanie, but she's sick, so I have an extra."
"Oh god bless you." Michelle brings the cup to her lips. Fanny coughs gently as a warning. "Oh, you know what, Boo, I just remembered that I can't have coffee."
"You can't have coffee?" Sasha asks cynically.

"Um, no. I can, I just… I'm cleansing and don't want to drink the caffeine." None of them buy her lie.

"Michelle is pregnant, girls!" Fanny spurts.

"Fanny! That was supposed to be a secret…"
"Oh, it was going to come out eventually, dear."

"Here, sit down," Boo says as she grabs a chair.

"Do you need anything?" Ginny asks.
"This is why I didn't want to tell anyone, Fanny. Now I'm going to be treated like a fragile cargo ship. You girls better not tell anyone!"
"What about Melanie?" Ginny asks.

"Fine, but no one, and I mean no one else."

"Wait, whose is it?" Sasha asks, putting the dots together. "It's not Godot's, is it?"

"No! God, no. It's Hubbell's."
The girls look at one another and burst with laughter at the same time.
"Good one, Michelle. So whose is it?" Sasha laughs.
"It's Hubbell's. We're not kidding. Without going into too much detail, he donated to a sperm bank years ago. Now Michelle is going to have his baby," Fanny explains.

They girls are dumbfounded. "Well, time for class," Fanny announces. They slowly head to the barre. Michelle takes off her sweatshirt and joins them on the floor.
"What do you think you are doing?" Fanny asks, sternly.

"Dancing. I've been joining their class lately. Have you forgotten? Or maybe you forgot what we talked about last night?" Fanny purses her lips and reluctantly starts the class. Fanny, Sasha, Ginny, and Boo keep their eyes on Michelle while she practices with them. Fanny doesn't even correct their posture when their eyes wander. Michelle knows they can't stop looking at her, but she has to prove that she can do this. She's not incapable. She's not just a baby-carrier.

…

"Congratulations!" Nanette exclaims as she comes in the studio to pick Boo up.

"Boo…" Michelle warns, "what did I tell you?"

"I didn't think you meant my mom."
"Yeah, that's a given, like I already told Roman." Sasha says with heavy attitude.

"This town does not keep secrets well…" Michelle says to herself.

"Nope, welcome to Small Town, USA," Nanette says as she gives Michelle a big hug. Emma is on Nanette's back, happy as can be.

"Hi baby girl!" Michelle waves at her godchild.

"She was so quiet I forgot she was back there!" Nanette laughs. "Do you want to take her for a minute? I have to talk to Fanny for a minute."

Fanny looks confused and Michelle notices. "It's about paying for Boo's lessons."

"Of course, I'll always take her." Michelle takes the baby out of the harness and heads outside. Boo follows silently, without Michelle knowing.
"So, you think they're talking about a party?" Michelle says sweetly to Emma. "You know, I'm going to have a baby now. God, that sounds so weird. Who am I? I hope it's as sweet as you. You're so good." She lifts the baby up to cradle her against her shoulder. "Am I crazy, baby? What am I doing?" She sits on the bench in the gazebo and rocks Emma back and forth.

"You're perfect," Boo says calmly.

"What?"

"The way you hold her, the way you rock her to sleep, even the way you look at her- you're perfect at it all. You'll make a great mom."
"Boo, what am I thinking? Did I let Fanny talk me into something crazy?"

"I think you want to be a mom, deep down. Look how much Emma loves you." They both stare into the little girl's deep blue eyes and laugh when she suddenly burps.

"Besides, Fanny will help you. She's thrilled. She couldn't stop watching you in rehearsal."
"She thinks I'm going to screw this up."

"No, I think she wants to help in anyway she can."

"We'll see about that. Let's go back. They must be done planning the party by now."

"Party?" Boo asks innocently. Michelle raises an eyebrow at her. "Okay, they were talking about a party for you, but don't say I told you!"
"You didn't have to."

…

"Michelle! Wake up!" Fanny crashes into the bedside table in the dark.
"Fanny? What time is it?" Michelle answers in her sleep.

"I don't know, 2, 3 in the morning."
"Eww!"

"Now, I've been reading… Michelle, wake up! I've been reading about pregnancy and dance."
"Are you here to tell me I can't join your classes? We've already gone over this."

"No, all these articles say that the healthiest babies are born to active mothers, specifically if they're active while they're pregnant."
"So?"

"So, you should get some rest."
"I'm trying to. You're the one who woke me up. Wait, what do you mean?"

"I'll meet you in the studio at 8 tomorrow morning."

"8?! That's way too early."

"Well, you need to catch up from when you went on vacation. It's time for a ballet crash-course. I've been too easy on you. Good night!" Fanny leaves as quickly as she came.

Michelle raises her shirt and looks down at her bare stomach. "She's trying to kill me, you know."