Training starts directly after breakfast. I stand a bit behind Marvel as he gathers the others into a circle.
"Okay, it seems that our days have been shortened to twelve hours, so we have to work fast." Marvel announces. A series of concerned looks fluctuated within our small group.
"We should start with survival" I add, stepping up. Marvel nods in agreement.
"Agreed. Acionna, can you tell the safe plants from the dangerous?" the man beside me asks
She brightens a bit and nods determinedly "While I was with Cato, I noticed a few plants that should be safe to eat, but there were more dangerous plants than safe ones."
Marvel starts going over the training plan and I zone out. My mind wanders aimlessly until a memory from in the cave pops out of nowhere. A shiver runs down my spine at the image. It's just Peeta sitting across from me. But, it still terrifies me. Then, as if a floodgate opened, the picture moves like a movie.
I've haven't regained many memories of my time with Peeta but, each one isn't pleasant and I have a feeling that this one is worse than the others.
I'm lost in my own world as Peeta leans close to me with a predator's gaze; his grin reminds me of a lion's.
I try to shake the image away but, I can't. It sticks to the inside of my eyelids whenever I blink. My breath become choppy and I feel myself crumple to the ground when the last person leaves to train.
Damian doesn't notice me on the ground.
I pull my knees to the chest as Peeta begin undressing me with his eyes, then actually undressing me.
"No" I croak between breaths. I want this to stop. I wanted to stop it then, something deep in my consciousness wanted me to stop him.
"Katniss?" I barely register a concerned voice behind me. I slap my hands over my ears and shake my head. I faintly hear the voice scream for something.
Now, Peeta's undressing.
"No!" I squeeze my eyes shut and try to banish the memory that is slowly revealing itself.
"Katniss; look at me, Katniss!" a different voice says as I feel hands on my shoulder, I jump up and away. I press my hands harder against my ears when Peeta starts talking.
"Shut up! Get away!" Hands pry mine from my ears roughly. I peek my eyes open and am met with blue. I snap them shut again.
Oh god, he's come back for me.
"GET AWAY" I thrust my hands in front of me, shoving Peeta away. My hands return to my ears and tremors start running through my body.
A third voice enters the area around me along with multiple growls.
"Katniss, listen to me" the voice soothes. A sense of safety washes over me. The convulsions stop ricocheting through my body and my eyes peel open slowly just as Peeta advances onto me. I raise my head and stare into familiar green eyes. He gently removes my hands from my ears and sandwiches them between his.
"Calm down Kat" he whispers. His eyes are terrified but his voice is calm. I let out a shaky breath as I look around me. Cato is on the ground a couple feet from me, surrounded by the cats, and Glimmer is kneeling down behind Marvel. I look back to Marvel and collapse onto him. His arms wrap around me and he cradles my head to his chest.
"It's okay" he mumbles, petting my head.
I barely nod my head before answering. "Thank you"
He sends the others away, ordering Cato to carry Glimmer. When they are with the rest of the pack he looks at me again.
"What happened?" he asks as I look down to the sand, suddenly embarrassed for making such a scene.
I collect my thoughts and meet his gaze.
"Peeta" I say with a sore throat.
"This is about him? He did that to you?" Marvel growls
"He did worse. I remember what happened in the cave" I say, shuddering again.
His face hardens and he looks pointedly at me.
"Did he-" he trails off, hoping I understand so he doesn't have to say it. I bury my face in my hands, so I don't have to see his face, and nod.
It's silent for a long time and I chance a look at his face only to find no one in front of me. My heart drops in realization.
He's disgusted with me now. I'm weak and I let this happen to me. It's all my fault.
I stand up sullenly when I hear the clanging of metal from the Cornucopia. I walk in on Marvel collecting his spears and my bow.
"What are you doing?" I ask awkwardly, afraid of his judgment, as he hands me a quiver of arrows.
"I'm going to find that bastard and kill him" he says in a scarily calm voice. Kanji and Kiera sit behind him, providing silent support.
"No" I protest; he doesn't falter his movements.
"Why shouldn't I?" he growls with his back to me.
"You can't just go around killing people Marvel! We aren't in the games anymore." I reason
"You right. This stopped being a game when I walked into your flat; you told me to help you- protect you from Peeta. I've failed. And it's only been what, a week?" He huffs without looking at me.
Has it only been a week?
"But, it's my fault" I whisper to myself, more than anyone else. If he heard, he made no indication.
"Are you coming?" he turns to face me but refuses to look me in the eye.
"This isn't who you are. You are kind and gentle. That's a rule for you" I block him from walking out.
"Well you are the exception to pretty much any rule I've set for myself so, if you would just please move I could be back before dinner" he ducks under my arm. I spin and cross my arms. Any retort I had, dissipated. The cats follow him.
Kiera hesitates beside me.
"What should I do?" I groan and pet her. She motions her head to where Marvel is now mounting Kanji.
"You want us to go?"
She lets out a breath before striding to the duo. I shoulder the quiver and grab my bow from Marvel. He looks at me with a raised brow and a stony expression.
"I'm not letting you get yourself killed alone. You and I both have no idea what else this arena holds. We should tell the others we're hunting. That way if we don't find him today, we can try again" I explain as I mount Kiera. I expect him so grin or smirk at his victory but, his face stays stony.
It scares me a bit, the look of pure apathy.
I shake off the sudden feeling and urge Kiera to follow Marvel.
We ride to the others and tell them we're hunting for dinner. Thresh looks at me quizzically before turning back to Glimmer. I know I'll be questioned by him when we get back and I believe Marvel will as well.
It's a thin lie and everyone knows it.
"What time is it?" I ask, breaking the tense silence. He glances at his watch before responding.
"Four" he replies, not leaving room for any other conversation. I let out an agitated breath before snapping.
"What is your problem?" I say with irritation coating each word
"Nothing" he answers, still not looking at me.
"That's bullshit. Now, tell me what your problem is or I will-" I trail off, trying to find a good enough threat
"You'll what?" he mocks with a cold voice "You'll throw yourself in with the Chimera or, how about go dancing with the beetles that you still haven't explained to me, or, I know, you could-"
"I get it" I cut him off. "Is that why you're angry with me? Because I-"
"I'm not angry at you!" his face finally cracks showing the first real emotion of his in hours.
Unfortunately the look on his face is of loathing.
"Then why can't you look me in the eyes?" I ask desperately. I've never cared for what people thought of me before the games. I did what I had to to survive. But, with Marvel, I do care. I crave to know his thoughts on the subject of me.
He, luckily, provides me an answer.
"Because, I can't bear to –"
"KATNISS" a scream erupts from above me.
Prim!
My eyes widen in fear and Marvel looks at me with wide eyes that mirror my own. Another scream slices through the air; I don't recognize it. It morphs into two voices and my eyes dart to Marvel, who is tensed up with rage.
"HADLEY? ISLA?" he yells in return and urges Kanji towards the sound. The thick jungle slows us a bit. Vines whip our faces, leaving bright red marks, as we tear through the foliage. More screams of pain surround us. Some of whom I know and other I don't. Marvel and I leap off of our mounts and collapse on the floor with our hands over our ears. I look to the sky, expecting some kind of help. Other than the birds, the only thing it shows is growing darkness.
The birds.
As if someone flipped a switch, it makes sense. I try to ignore Gale's scream as I crawl over to Marvel. I hesitate beside him when he calls out a name.
My name.
I shake his shoulder roughly and his head snaps up.
"They're Jabberjays" I scream over the birds. My mother's screams permeate the air and I can feel my eyes begin to fill.
Mom
I search wildly around our area and I vaguely notice a clear film materializing out of nothing.
A force field.
That is when I know it's our only chance to escape this hell.
"Marvel! Get on Kanji we need to get out of here" I hear Effie screaming as I scramble onto Kiera and take off towards the quickly developing force field. Marvel makes it through, but just barely. Kiera makes one last leap to freedom but, though she makes it, I don't.
A branch from a tree slams into my chest and knocks me off. I hit the grounds hard and my breath is ripped from my chest. I turn my head to where Marvel is now pounding against an unforeseen wall. The birds surround me, pecking at my face and screaming.
Prim, Mom, Gale, Thresh, Rue, Damian, Clove, Glimmer, Selvina, Acionna, and the other tribute's pain filled screams surround me to the point where I am covering my ears and trying to scream over them. I doesn't help whatsoever, the birds only scream louder.
I look through watery eyes at a panicked Marvel as the birds change their tone to fit his. Blood from his knuckles spatters onto the force field.
He's going to hurt himself. I think to myself groggily through the noise outside my mind.
I crawl over to the force field. My head is filled with pain and my eyes are wide with fear.
"Help me!" I scream to him. He looks at me as if trying to decipher what I'm saying.
He can't hear me.
My breathing becomes even more ragged than before and I become dizzier and dizzier with each passing moment.
Stop panicking! It won't help!
But, I can't get myself to stop.
I begin to pound my fists onto the wall separating us, until my knuckles are as bloody as Marvel's. I barely register the wetness running down my face as the birds descend onto me in a flurry of batting wings and malicious talons. I try to throw them off but, I'm too disoriented to do much. I look back to Marvel for help, that I know I can't get. I try repeating a mantra in my head.
I am Katniss Everdeen, I am calm in every situation
That is who I am
I am Katnis-
I can't
I can't think straight
I can't survive this
I don't want to survive this
Somebody help me!
Marvel!
I flinch as another talon tears my skin when I look up to see Marvel's palm lying against the force field, smearing his blood into a handprint. I stare at it, trying to understand what he's trying to so. He gives me a small smile with caring, calm eyes.
He's trying to calm me down.
I lay my hand against his and I barely hint a smile before a bird dive bombs me screaming in Marvel's voice. Marvel notices it, seconds before it hits me, and looks at me with wide, worried eyes.
"Thank you" I mouth to him.
It hits me with the force of a brick and I see black.
Once again, pale blue eyes haunt my mind and I know that they're picking up where they left off.
Marvel PoV:
I'm in slow motion as Katniss falls from Kiera. I reach my hand towards her but, it hits a wall. Panic seizes my body as I pound against the wall, screaming her name. It takes me moments to realize that she can't hear me. She curls into a protective ball and starts screaming but I can't hear her either. The jungle surrounding me is eerily quiet and it makes me feel even worse. I'm sitting here in the peaceful quiet while Katniss is stuck in her own personal hell.
And there isn't anything I can do about it.
I repeatedly slam my fists into the force field until their bloody. She crawls to me and looks at me for answers that I can't provide. She screams something at me but, I can't hear it.
I think she might have said 'Help me'
The weight in my stomach deadpans and she starts to take deep, labored breaths.
She's having a panic attack
She lifts her head to look at me and my breath catches when I see her tears, an incalculable amount of rage courses through me and I decide; When I get out of here, I'm killing Snow myself.
The birds cover here in a black cloud and she tries to fight back but, her moves and reactions are slow.
I lay my hand on the force field in a last-ditch effort to calm her. I add a small smile and a caring look as I try to get her attention away from the taloned mutts.
And, to my luck, it worked.
She stares at my hand for a few moments, flinching every time she would be sliced by a claw, before laying her bloody hand against mine. I see a black bird rising above the rest as it dives towards Katniss. I look at her with wide eyes as I try to warn her but, I'm too late.
Again.
The bird hits her with enough force to knock her out. She slumps to the ground, leaving a bloody handprint against mine. I feel my own breath kicked out of my lungs as if I was the one who was just knocked unconscious.
The birds leave not moments after she's asleep. The black cloud ascends, leaving me to look at a scarred, bleeding Katniss, whose face is pulled into a silent scream of fear as she's left to face her dreams alone.
The anger surges through me again as I return to pounding my fists into the wall, mere inches from Katniss.
I vaguely wonder how this must have looked to the large cats sitting beside me.
A man with a mad gleam in his eye, desperately trying the break something that isn't there with tears on his face, trying to get to his only exception, who is currently trapped in a land of nightmares.
Soon, the orange sky is replaced by a dark hue of blue.