Missed all your beautiful faces! School is kicking my ass but what's new?
Only Three more chaps guys! (Next one is already written but you guys decide when you want it out ;)
Not much happens-Kinda a filler. But nonetheless still a great chapter and I hope you all enjoy it :)
(I DO NOT OWN PITCH PERFECT)
Chapter Eighteen: New Album
Via Twitter:
xxdjBmitchie*2h- Missing you a little extra today chloboxo
Monday November 14, 12:30 PM
Dammit, Beca should've listened to Stacie.
It's been exactly one week since the dreadful departure of Chloe and Aubrey heading back to Georgia and to say that Beca was struggling more than she ever had in her entire life would be an understatement. Her days became more lazier than normal; she had no motivation to really put as much energy into her work like before. She found herself constantly thinking about the blissful week spent with Chloe but though it was the best week of her life, it only brought back memories and not the real thing. What a blessing and a curse the time spent with Chloe actually was.
At the time when Chloe and Aubrey had to fly back Sunday afternoon, there was bucketful of tears; on both parts this time which was highly surprising. There was promises to call, text, arranged Skype dates, etc. and hugs that seemed like they were never going to end. People watched in awe; Beca got a few snapshots from hidden paparazzis taken of her and Chloe and usually she'd be pretty irritated that even during a sentimental moment with her girlfriend the paps felt the need to capture everything going on in her life. But Beca was so wrapped up in the moment; her tears pretty much drowning out the camera flashes to do anything about the obvious crowd they were attracting.
But overall, everything that happened the previous time when Beca first left Georgia, it happened.
Except of course the newly explored emotions Chloe and Beca discovered the following night, as well as early the following morning that is now being strung together from Los Angeles all the way down to Atlanta Georgia.
It is hard.
God, it is really hard.
It was a no brainer that adding physically intimacy to an already strong relationship would make it stronger-from what she has heard-but no one has ever told Beca that adding this concept to a long distance relationship would make it feel like she is constantly drowning with being miserable all the time and that her heart is being ripped apart from the inside.
Sure, she woke up the next morning feeling closer to Chloe-actually, anybody for that matter and wouldn't for a second go back and change anything that happened the night of her birthday. Perfect she knows doesn't exist and is only a never reached characteristic but Chloe is the closest damn thing to the word.
Sex with Chloe is even closer.
She had marks on top of marks to prove this and though it was equally haunting as it was pleasing to trace the purple bruises lining along her collarbone, breasts and neck with her fingers, but fuck was it just a reminder that Chloe was now gone.
Sex was suppose to be easy, refreshing and something insanely exhilarating. She'd been counting down this moment to happen with Chloe since they first started exploring each other's bodies but why does it feel like having sex only made things more complicated?
To be honest, Beca has been feeling absolutely miserable this past week and she knows it's because of these brand new branched feelings she has towards Chloe; the mountain of love for this girl that is wordless to describe and the constant bugging itch to be as close as possible to Chloe even though it's impossible with the two thousand miles keeping them apart.
Beca can be first to say that she was one to never believe in love at first sight. But meeting Chloe online and spending the entire night talking to her and knowing instantly Chloe is going to matter to her was something she believed in. No doubt.
And this week of post coital pains aching her heart, trust Beca when she says this, she's tried to do everything in her willpower to dodge, dip, duck, dive and dodge all of these after effects regarding Chloe because one half of her feels like she's on cloud nine with bliss while the other feels like she's suffocating with the dire need to see and touch Chloe before she can't take it anymore.
She should've listened to Stacie when she mentioned that the physical component of a relationship and once it's done is just as important as the emotional, communication part- which already Beca and Chloe have mastered.
Would she change what happened though?
Absolutely not.
But like what she has been saying since the first day she luckily stumbled upon the redhead, she just wished it was easier. The distance, the constant pain in her heart late at night when she misses Chloe the most, or seeing something driving that reminds her of the redhead, which then ends up with Beca missing Chloe even than before more.
She misses Chloe's kisses; her hugs, her touch, her lips, her smile, her eyes and nose. Everything possible to miss about Chloe Beale, she misses, like half her heart is gone and lost somewhere in a different state, leaving her emotionally unstable.
She just wishes it was easier.
Especially now more than ever.
On a brighter note during these long seven days, minus the love of her life, nothing from before changes between them. Beca texts Chloe everytime she gets the chance, which has surprisingly been a lot since the album is quickly coming to a wrap and leaving her with more down time that before. They have their scheduled Skype movie dates, which has turned Tuesday and Thursday's into Beca's new favorite days of the week, even before the weekend which is something else.
Beca rants about work and the overload of touch up regarding the album she has to do; Chloe rants about school and tells Beca stories about her students. Phone calls, both appropriate and inappropriate come in flashes during those seven days and Beca feels as close to Chloe as she can humanly possible get. It's not the same as is would be in person but there's nothing else really that Beca could do.
Chloe is there, she is here and distance is still the mother bitch of them all.
Today, Beca is slumped in her office chair away from the studio to freshen up the recent track recorded a few days back with Fetty Wap. Was it "Closer" material that has been number one for the past two weeks on the itunes top 100 chart? No, but no one expected that single to take off like it did.
Beca for sure didn't.
With the album coming to an end, it is a bittersweet feeling. Once mid November arrives and it's released, she'd be free of stress until the starting of her her new project gassed up-which has been decided to be with 2006's pop star queen, JoJo until Selena bounces back from her personal vacation away from music to get a start on that album Beca has roped into producing.
Of course once Beca heard the rumors about Joanna coming back to the music industry, trying to get her name back out there she was the first one to accept the challenge. Plus, Jonna has this new sense of swagger that she came back to Atlantic with and seeing this after hearing the pop star's ideas, she already started brainstorming the possible ideas for the album.
Also adding to this with Diplo's album basically being done, Beca's free time (for a while) would free up enough to take a much needed vacation to Florida with Chloe during the time of Thanksgiving. Excited would be an understatement as she counts the days until November 23, anxiously waiting to be wrapped up in Chloe's arms, right where she should be.
God know's she needs it.
As she is bobbing her head back and forth to the music, earphones hung to only one side of her ear, she hears a knock on her door before Diplo comes in and takes a seat directly in front of her.
"Hey shorty," Diplo greets with a cheek grin, his blonde hair flowing perfectly without the usually loads of gel he slaps on and he's wearing a black, long sleeve t-shirt that is rolled to his elbows, visibly showing his apatosaurus tattoo on his forearm.
Beca still till this day has no idea why he got the damn tattoo and whenever she teases him about it, he counters with a jab to her grasshopper one.
Guess it was faith between them to create a kick ass album since they have matching tattoos for no apparent reason.
"Look at you being a working lady." Diplo fakes like he is tossing his long hair side to side, pointing his finger down towards the opened MacBook that is currently running a fancy DJ software.
Beca rolls her eyes at Diplo's teasing smirk. "Shut up. What are you doing here? Thought you were gone today with Kate?" She arches a brow and takes off the other earphone to hang delicately around her shoulders.
An evening stroll through a grocery store informed her about today's latest gossip as she saw the front cover of People's magazine and a perfectly snapped candid shot of Diplo and actress, Kate Hudson snuggled up at Huntington Beach. Hurt was Beca's initial response as she wasn't informed Diplo was dating anyone, let alone had his eyes on a girl-even when the suspicions started floating around. After finding out it wasn't official until last week, Beca eased up on the DJ and was truly happy he got himself a girl.
He is getting pretty old, so bagging someone now was like a do or die before he gets wrinkled and unattractive.
Plus, Kate and him are like the package deal of hot blondes and after watching How to Lose a Guy in 10 days with Chloe, she has to admit the girl is a damn good actress.
Also pretty fucking cute.
"I am," Diplo informs with a smirk, leaning back in the spinning chair with his hands behind his head. "Just thought I'd stop by and see how you're doing? I know you've been in kind of a funk since your hot tamale left town so I wanted to check in."
Beca smiles genuinely. There's many people she has been gifted with in her life and Diplo most definitely has to be one of them. They're colleagues for sure but Diplo never hesitates to shift modes into a caring friend when seeing that something is wrong. "I'm doing better. Just having to get back in the hang of things." Eyes fall to her desk when she shrugs her shoulders. "It's not easy but what can you do?"
"How is Chloe doing?"
"She's good. Busy at school from missing a week. Plus she's crammed to get everything done before Thanksgiving break. Something about another recital her school is doing for Christmas that the students have to practice for."
"That's nice," Diplo smiles hearing this; Beca mirrors the gesture since obviously talking about her girlfriend brings automatic joy to her body. "You two are the real deal. For myself, I've done a fair share of long distance relationships; I kinda had to since I started working in the music industry. Going on tour wasn't the easiest and it showed since my past girlfriends never were strong enough to stay. But Chloe? Damn she really loves you."
"I love her too. Almost to the point where it doesn't even seem real." Beca scoffs and there's a shake to her head, showing just how crazy it actually sounds. "I...I honestly didn't think it was possible for me to fall this hard for someone." Ever get hit with that "how?" question so hard, it physically stuns you? Well, Beca has and she first started experiencing this question when Chloe tripped and fell into her life. How Chloe is as amazing as she is; or how Chloe seems to brighten the darkest of days for Beca even by a simple, yet annoyingly cute emoji she always bombards her phone with.
It's a question that Beca will never get to the end of.
"Oh trust me I could tell. If the invisible gashes on your knee caps didn't show it then it is that permanent smile you've had on your face since the first day I met you." Diplo snickers at his joke and Beca rolls her eyes when he points underneath the table towards her knees. "Though that smile hasn't been so….bright… lately."
It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure this one out. Beca had tried to make it through the week with a her usual positive, as upbeat as Beca Mitchell can get smile but she found it to not only be exhausting keeping up that facade but also, impossible. Not when Chloe's down in Georgia and she is here, living two separate lives that somehow connect every once in awhile.
"Does it ever get easier?" Beca asks weakly, not removing her gaze away from a lone pen spinning around her thumb that she doesn't really remember picking up. It's a reasonable question but one she has been waiting for the answer to since she and Chloe began dating.
And guess what? The answer is still one giant question mark.
"Honestly, it will probably get harder." Not the response Beca was expecting, she tears her eyes away from the pen and her brows furrow when meeting Diplo's. "Jesus, staying in a relationship that's long distance is hard for ordinary people but when you add your fame to the equation, it's a never ending math problem. You have your fans that represent A, and your job and everything you need to put into it as B and Chloe and your dating life as C. Finding corresponding things between all three of these needs are all the extra work and that's when things start to get jumbled up."
Beca scratches the top of her head, confusion washing over her face. She didn't know that she signed back up to take math classes-which by the way, she's more than awful at. "Dude, cut the math crap. What an awful analogy."
Diplo laughs at her confusion and straightens back up before rewording what he previously said, "What I'm trying to say is that you have a lot on your plate and at times, you're going to find it hard being able to balance all three."
"Is this suppose to make me feel better or something because right now, it's doing the opposite." Beca deadpans and blinks unimpressed.
"You didn't let me finish," Diplo retorts and Beca rolls her eyes, gesturing with a wave to her hand to get to the point. "As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, things are destined to get hard. It's inevitable for regular relationships and really, there's no way around it. But you're some sort of anomaly, kid. I've seen what you can do on the tables for music and I know that whatever gets thrown your way you'll throw it back ten times harder."
These are the types of conversations Beca lives for-though she can be the first to say she'd like to be the one to figure it by herself but soon learned that-that just wasn't the healthiest nor smartest thing to do. Sentimental heart to hearts with other people wasn't something she is naturally good at and till this day, she branches trying to let her voice be heard even when all she wants to do is keep it hidden. She enjoys letting down her shield every once in awhile and just being able to….talk to somebody about the things swimming inside her head and getting helpful feedback in return.
In the past, she use to think that asking for simple help made her weak, spilling all her emotions on the table but now, having a friend like Diplo; a famous DJ and someone who makes millions off of tracks to sit down and have a therapy lesson with her is everything she could ever ask for.
"You and Chloe will be okay," Diplo reassures before sliding his glasses-that Beca can take a rough estimate and guess those cost more than her car- onto his eyes and gives her a wide smile that has the power behind it to make her believe him. "I'm rooting for you two and as the media says, Bechloe will never die." Beca gives another eye roll to the ship name and watches Diplo smirk his way out the door. She's just about to get back to work, already feeling a little better until Diplo peeks his head around the corner. "And maybe you should tell your lady love that a certain DJ got herself a performance spot in this year's Billboard Music Awards."
And with no further explanation, even to Beca's deer caught in headlight look, Diplo leaves her office.
"What?" Beca mutters to herself, disbelief dripping from the tone.
She wants to pinch herself because she might be dreaming. Performing on an actual stage with awards and musicians she has grown up listening to in a building at every direction. There's no way this is happening right now. She has only dreamt of the day where she'd be performing live in front of other celebrities and on national television-and even though she's already been shown on tv for the Laker's game, this is something completely different.
And something big enough to blow her fucking mind at the possibility of her dream actually coming true.
Pulling out her phone, she texts the only person who could be the mastermind behind this surprising and unannounced news.
Monday November 14, 2:30 PM
B: Um hi. When were you going to tell me about the BMAs?!
Monday November 14, 2:35 PM
Cassidy: I was just getting to it shorty!
Cassidy: Geesh, you're so impatient.
B: And you're just like your cousin… Always late to tell me things.
B: Especially THIS big. Holy shit
Cassidy: I know! Congrats! With Ed's break and all, how do you feel about performing the song with Diplo himself?
B: Oh God.
B: I love the guy, don't get me wrong, but are we sure he can even sing?
Cassidy: Lol true.
Cassidy: He's no Justin Timberlake but for a DJ he has some decent vocals. Plus, he pitched the idea with wanting to perform with you. If the Chainsmokers can do it, so can he.
B: I mean, I guess you're right. Fans would go insane if he pulled out a mic instead of twisting the dials on the tables.
B: Also that's something I do not want to miss. So sure. Let's schedule that.
B: Dip and I will collaborate on a song to perform and all that stage jazz.
Cassidy: Alrigghty. Show is live at 7:00 on December 10 at the T-Mobile Arena in Las Vegas. Rehearsals began night of the 9th
B: Sweet.
B: Just in time after my vacation with Chloe
Cassidy: Speaking of the infamous redhead, she going to be your date for the red carpet?
B: I don't know. I'll ask. She's super busy with school and I don't know if it would be possible for her to take off anymore extra days right before Christmas break and the school's recitals
Cassidy: Well hopefully she can make it! Fans would be devastated to see your left arm empty when you step out of that limo and walk the carpet without America's redheaded sweetheart.
B: Haha yeah yeah. Same here. So crazy we are idolized so much
B: I gotta get back to work now but thanks for the heads up (kinda)
Cassidy: Of course, Becs! I'll e-mail you all the details!
Shocked is the first thing Beca feels once exiting her conversation with Cassidy, her manager. Wow, even the label is still something to think twice about.
Who knew one day, she'd go from being that one semi known, full time college student who makes mixes to the latest pop songs to a fastly rising music producer and artist who just received the news that she'd be performing at the Billboard Music Awards, a show she only grew up watching?
At first, she thought it was impossible. She's jumped over many obstacles in her life; some a little bit more tricky than others but even with those few speed bumps, she did pretty well for herself. But did she see her life taking a full three sixty spin into the world of fame that was previously done three, almost four months ago?
Most definitely not.
To say she is blessed being belief doesn't even come close to how grateful she feels right now. She's has the amazing girl who supports every last thing that she does, no matter how big or small. She has the best friend of nine years right by her side every step of the way, and a fan base full of millions of people who support her music like it's their lifeline. She has her dad and surprisingly stepmom following her journey and a amazing guardian angel watching her grow as a person from above.
God, how would she ever express how lucky she truly is?
The answer is she never thinks she will fully be able to.
Almost like a strange telepathy connection as Beca pulls up Chloe and her's conversation to type out a message to send, and unread text from the girl who happens to be on her mind banners with a "ding" at the top of her phone, yielding her fingers from typing. A giddy smile comes naturally seeing those five letters to spell out "Chloe," and also accompanied with several unnecessary heart emojis that apparently were a necessity to the redhead's number.
Such a dork.
Monday November 14, 2:47 PM
C: Hey baby :)
B: Hey!
B: God I missed you
C: I know ;) Twitter informed me and all your fans did as well. But I missed you too! So so much :(
C: Busy day today. I feel like Mondays are always kind of hectic since we are coming back from the weekend. But I'm free now with all my tests graded! :)
B: Good I'm glad. I have you all to myself now :-)
B: Kids do good on the test?
C: For the most part yeah :) I'm very proud of them.
B: Just for my personal curiosity and dire need to know if you were to be my teacher, what grade would you give me, Ms. Beale?
C: Depends on what the topics are ;)
B: Appearance/style?
C: Definitely an A+
C: My favorite is you in plaid ;)
B: Good to know. What about kissing?
C: Pshhhhhh. If there was anything higher than an A+ you'd get it ;)
B: I like what I'm hearing so far
B: Bedskills?
C: Ehhh, B…..
C: B- ;)
B: WHat!?
B: Please tell me you're joking
C: Lol! Of course, baby. You should know that you rock my world ;)
C: Or should I say bed ;)
B: You're something else ;-)
B: Other than crazy, how was your day?
C: It was good! Better now ;)
B: Same Beale ;-)
B: Do anything exciting? What are you teaching your kids these days anyway?
C: Oh you know, vocal ranges, the history of music and a PowerPoint presentation filled with the Queen of pop, Madonna :)
B: Are you sure that's not Beyoncé?
C: Okay, Beyoncé is the Queen B NOW. Not in the 80's!
C: I'm sure Aubrey would be more than happy to back this up ;)
B: Oh God no.
B: I take it back haha
B: How is she by the way?
C: Eh, rough.
C: I'm sure you remember the first time we had to say goodbye to each other. I never felt so miserable in my life.
C: Kinda similar to how I feel now :(
B: One week, baby. That's all.
B: Stacie has been in the dumps too. It's actually strange to see her blow off homework to binge watch a bunch of cheesy rom coms while stuffing her face with ice cream.
C: Awh poor thing! I know exactly how she feels.
C: At least now they're actually confirming the obvious feelings towards each other instead of denying, denying, denying
B: True. Next thing will be they're getting married
C: Oh my goodness! If anything. I'd hope we'd be the first to get married!
B: You hinting something to me, Beale? Ready to take my hand in marriage?
C: Not yet :)
C: Ask me in a couple months and that answer might change ;)
B: You're a dork.
B: I love you so much I think it's unhealthy.
C: And your bag of Cheetos puff you keep in your drawer isn't? ;)
B: You snooped?!
B: Beale, I thought differently of you!
C: Not snooping if there is cheesy fingerprints on the handle ;) more like….curiosity
B: Wow….
B: Curiosity killed the cat
C: Don't worry, your banging body definitely doesn't show the amount of junk food you eat ;)
C: I'm actually pretty jealous!
B: Have you looked in the mirror?
B: Preferably naked?
C: Wouldn't you like to know ;)
B: Um, yes! That's why I'm asking :-P
B: But you're seriously the sexiest girl ever and your bangin' body is even sexier.
B: I would give all my money, all my teeth, and right arm to have you here again just so I can touch your body.
C: Not the teeth baby! You have such a great smile and I don't think dentures at 24 are a turn on ;)
B: I have many other ways to turn you on and you know it.
B: Unless those spots on the inner parts of your thighs just randomly disappeared
C: Okay, touche ;) I can't help it that I'm sensitive there!
B: Not complaining, especially with the sounds that were coming from your mouth.
B: So fucking hot.
C: Mmmm you're hot ;)
B: For you, yes. Especially now. I can't stop thinking about you.
C: Such trouble you are ;)
B: So they tell me. I guess your mom was right about my "bad girl" image ;-)
C: You're very...very bad I must admit. But you also have your sensitive, sweet side that I just can't get enough :)
B: I'll neither confirm nor deny if you speak of this, Beale.
B: I can't wait to see you again.
C: I can't wait to see you too.
C: I'm pretty sure my mom is about to have an aneurysm. Same with my two brothers lol Bring a pen and be prepared to sign autographs.
B: Ha sick. I guess it's a strong effect I have on the entire Beale family ;-)
C: I can't disagree. You're something pretty darn special!
C: But as for moi, I'm the only one allowed to claim the prize at the end of the day.
B: You ain't too bad yourself ;-)
C: Oh thanks ;)
C: Just a heads up, my brothers think you're hot. And a hot girl that can DJ and make amazing mixes in her sleep is even hotter to them.
C: Just please...PLEASE wear a lot of flannel as a reminder that you're mine and Ellen Degeneres gay?
B: Stereotyping, Beale!
B: And I AM pretty good looking
C: Not stereotyping if it's true ;) and so modest I must add.
C: Chris is getting married and Clay has a girlfriend of two years but still. They'll tease me about it just because they know it gets on my nerves.
B: And why is that, Beale?
C: Call me crazy but I don't enjoy hearing people call you hot and sexy and my personal favorite from YouTube, a total baddy? Like what in the world does that mean?
C: I should be the only one calling you those things :(
C: You're MY baddy :(
B: Oh yes I am ;-)
B: Would it make you feel better that it only means something when you call me hot?
B: And that I think you're the baddest redhead out there? ;-)
C: Hmm, maybe ;)
C: I love you :)
B: I love you too!
B: I have some things to tell you and all good too :-)
C: Okay, go on :D
B: Cassidy just informed me that Diplo and I are going to be performing at the Billboard Music Awards!
C: BECA!
C: OMG OMG OMG! That's amazing!
B: I know! I may or may not be freaking out about this and it's still two weeks away
C: I'm so freaking proud of you! I know I say it regardless and probably more times than not but honestly baby that is so neat!
C: You on live television… Wow.
C: I can't believe I'm dating such a bad ass superstar ;)
B: Better believe it babe because I wanna invite you to be my date for the night.
C: Awh! Beca that would be so amazing!
C: But I am crammed with school and I honestly don't think the principal would allow me to take any more days off since my week exotic getaway to LA :( I have another concert Dec 14 :(
B: As much as I hate to hear you say that you can't come, I kinda figured you were busy at school.
B: I'll miss you though. The night won't be the same without you.
C: Oh yes it will. This is a very special night for you and not enjoying it fully just because I'm not there would just be silly.
C: I'll be watching from home, cheering for you so loud Aubrey will probably call the cops on me but I wouldn't even care. I can't wait to see you perform live again!
B: You like when I perform?
C: I LOVE when you perform.
C: Do you understand how freakin' sexy you are Rebecca Mitchell?
B: I use to hate my full name but damn, you make it sound sexy for some reason.
C: Good to know ;)
C: But yes to answer your question. If possible and I could make a living off of it, I'd watch you perform daily.
B: There's spots opened for being a groupie.
B: I think you'd be a great candidate for that position ;-)
C: I should be the ONLY one up for that position Mitchell -_-
C: Since we are on that topic, you perform quite a bit on Diplo's album. Are you going to go on tour once the album is released?
B: Haven't really thought about it. I mean, I'm a music producer who happens to have a voice that sung in some of his songs. Going on tour would give me more attention that I do not need.
B: Remember I'm a hermit
C: Babe, I'm pretty sure attention is coming your way regardless
C: All my students can talk about is how Beca Mitchell signed their posters that one night and how their teacher is dating the world's hottest DJ in the entire world.
B: Is that last part them talking or you? ;-)
C: I have no idea what you're talking about…
C: ;)
B: Dork
B: Okay fine, since we dropped a few singles already and they've skyrocketed in popularity through music sites my face has gotten out there more than I could have ever expected.
B: Magazines and the basketball game also didn't help with my secret image so I guess you're right. But going on tour is exhausting and time consuming.
C: But a great experience! Plus, would Diplo have as much fun without you there? ;)
B: I guess not haha
B: I'll think about it. Can't promise you anything
C: That's all I ask for, baby :)
C: What are you doing?
B: Just touching up the album before I have a meeting with Jojo's manager
C: Jojo as in "Aquamarine" and "it's just a little too late" Jojo?
B: You betcha
B: Taking on her new comeback album. Just needs to sign the contract.
C: Wow. I loved her when I was younger!
C: I also don't know how I should feel about you working with hot musicians…
B: Haha! Shut up
C: Seriously! First Selena, now Jojo. Who's next? Katy Perry? Beyoncé?
B: Don't even play with me about producing with THEE Queen B.
B: And okay, Joanna is pretty attractive but my eyes are set for you and you only!
C: Better be Mitchell ;)
C: Same thing I told you about Selena, if she touches you, I don't care about their social rank. I'll fight someone
B: Noted :-)
Tuesday November 15, 6:20 PM
Aubrey: Mitchell. Can you tell me why Stacie is avoiding all my calls?
B: Sorry blondie, Stacie has been MIA with school and I've been busy with the album. I haven't seen much of her.
B: But I assume it's nothing bad.
A: No, I have a hunch that something is bugging her.
A: We haven't really talked the same since Chloe and I left back to Georgia.
B: How so?
A: I don't know. She's been super short with me and then always blames it on school.
A: Something is different, I can tell.
B: For the record, she is like crammed with school work and getting a head start on studying for finals. So not all of that is a lie.
A: Oh okay.
A: But still, even on the phone and through texting she seems like something is bugging her.
A: Has she said anything to you?
B: Nope.
A: Ughh.
A: I should have never had sex with her
B: Whooaaaa!
B: First of all, thanks for actual confirmation about you two hooking up because I half didn't want to believe Chloe when she claimed to have heard you and my best friend moaning each other's name Halloween night. Second, gross and third, don't say things like that!
B: You two are like….perfect for eachother. Whatever it is going on can be sorted.
A: Any other time I'd feel weird about what you just said to me and how you and MY best friend talk in private about Stacie and I's sex life, but there's more important things to discuss.
B: Okay, what things?
A: The distance can't be sorted out, Beca. I know you and Chloe are living one big fairy tail love story and are barely affected with distance but you two are an aberration.
B: Hey that's not true. The distance for us is hard. Really fucking hard sometimes. But unlike you and Stacie, we talk it out. We are a strong unit and click together when it comes to our problems. Just because we don't fight all the time and show it publicly doesn't mean it doesn't fucking suck.
B: I hate when people assume that there's no problems between us and we are just always happy, happy, happy.
A: Okay I'm sorry for assuming. But I CAN'T talk about it if Stacie is ignoring me! It's not like I can show up to her doorstep and refuse to leave until she gives me a few seconds of her time of day to sit down and have a heart to heart.
A: And in my defense, for the most part you two are happy.
B: Yes, but you don't know that, Posen. A lot goes on within texts and phone calls.
A:You're right
A: I'm sorry. I'm letting my frustrations get the best of me and I'm taking it out on your relationship. I know how hard it can be, especially since I'm experiencing it now.
A: I just….it's weird but I like Stacie so much, more than anyone I've talked to, which is weird because online dating is a big NO in my handbook.
B: It's okay. I understand that this is all very new to you. Hell, it's still new to me.
B: But Stacie likes you too, trust me. I bet she's just busy with school.
B: If it makes you feel any better, she talks about you all the time. Even if it's just brief.
A: Really?
B: Yeah. I'm telling you, Stacie would never talk to someone who lives in another state if she wasn't interested in them.
B: Talking online to a person you like opens new doors in the form of communication so use that and get Stacie to talk to you. I know she will cave eventually once she gets over whatever it is that she's worried about.
A: Alright. Thanks. Don't know why I came to you but I'm glad I did.
B: Of course. I know we aren't the "best" of friends but I'm always here for you whether you like it or not. Posen or no Posen, you still need a friend's advice every once in awhile.
A: Thank you :)
A: Alright, I'm getting back to school work. Good luck with the album this Friday. I've already preordered it.
B: Haha thanks Bree
Tuesday November 15, 6:40 PM
B: Wanna tell me why you're avoiding your blonde gf?
Stacie: I'm not avoiding her…
S: And she's not my girlfriend.
B: Really? Because I just got through a therapy session with her and it seemed like you two are dating
S: She talked to you?
B: Yeah, it surprised me too
S: Fuckkkkk.
S: I'm not wanting to avoid her. It's just, my heart hurts like… all the time now.
B: Ohkay? And avoiding Aubrey "doesn't" make her feel the same way?
B: HELLO? SHE WENT TO GET ADVICE FROM ME.
B: I'm pretty sure if the world was on fire, I'd be the last person she'd ask for help from. Stace, she's really messed up right now.
S: I like this girl so much, Beca and it's terrifying because I don't want my heart to get broken because if it does, there's no taping the pieces back together on this one.
B: If you like her so much, why avoid her? Why run away from something good?
S: A stubborn someone once taught me to push everyone away that ends up getting close because it's simply the easier thing to do. No attached feelings, no broken hearts and no tears.
S: It's just easier.
B: Okay, touche…
B: But that certain stubborn someone also learned the hard way and found out doing that is not nearly the smartest way to handle things and is most definitely the loneliest.
S: I'm Stacie Conrad. I love to have fun and explore my options out in the dating world and the thought of being tied down is a nightmare. I'm not an expert with dates and half the time I want to be alone.
S: But Becs, I could end up loving this girl and it's terrifying because what if it doesn't work?
B: What if it does work?
B: What if the sky was purple ? Or what if dogs walked on their hind legs?
B: All of these questions are left unanswered but do you want to live a life not knowing if taking a chance could be the best decision of your life?
S: No… :(
B: You're a smart girl. A fucking brainiac when it comes to the books but inexperienced when it comes to dating. Well Stace, you and I both.
B: And with experience and also one who was never big on finding true love, especially through the damn internet, I can rightfully say I made the right decision taking that what if question right into my own hands.
B: And I think you would think so too if you just gave Aubrey a chance.
S: And you call me the genius.
S: I think you're right. I'll call her. Sorry you had to deal with two sides of my own personal demon that's keeping me from experiencing a happy life when you have an album coming out and your own problems.
B: Family before work and Stacie, you are my family and I'll drop whatever the Hell I'm doing to help a sister out. No matter if she doesn't know a good thing when she has it ;-)
S: You're right, Aubrey is fucking great and I'm dumb for ignoring her. Thank you for slapping some sense into me :)
B: I still don't understand what you see in that woman. Girl is as crazy as crazy gets
S: But you see that's it.
S: Aubrey is uptight, bossy and over controlling but she's also funny, smart and easy to talk to.
S: Beca, I might be losing my damn mind but Aubrey is the girl of my dreams.
B: Are you feeling okay?
S: Haha shut up! I'm way better now.
S: Are YOU okay? I haven't had the chance to have a full conversation with you other than dinner Friday night because you've been super jam packed with work stuff.
B: Yeah shit I'm sorry. It's a tornado in Atlantic right now, more so my life than anything
S: And the ginger?
B: She's really good. Busy with her music class and picking out her graduation stuff to walk in the winter.
S: Awh! That's super nice!
S: But in all honesty, how are you doing? Emotionally wise...and also physical.
B: I'm alright. Right now, it's hard to adjust with the things that happened before Chloe left.
S: And by things you totally mean you guys had sex?
B: I mean….yeah.
B: Also you owe me Dairy Queen.
S: NO WAY! I can't believe I lost! I seriously thought she wouldn't be a natural!
S: Fuck, what a hot ginger!
B: Yes yes, I know these things already but anywayyyyyy
S: Okay, you guys had sex. How was it?
B: Unexplainable dude.
B: Like, there was no pressure, it was all around the best night of my entire life, which every night spent with Chloe is one for the books.
S: Awh! :D Look at you getting 'oh so' Romeo on me!
B: Yeah yeah whatever
B: Anyway, it was amazing and everything I could've ever imagined it being and then some.
B: So why do I feel like shit afterwards?
S: It's that heightened emotional connection you two have. Usually after sex for the first time, you guys would be allowed to kick your feet up in the honey money phase but for your case, it's hard to do so and all you have is technology trying to keep this strong euphoria at bay which obviously is failing.
B: What should I do? I miss her like crazy, now more than ever and it is the suckiest thing in the world being here while she is over there living life and all that jazz. I don't think I can wait until Thanksgiving break.
S: No idea babe, as someone who just boarded the long distance train, I'm not much help.
S: What I do know, however, is that you and Chloe can get through a hurricane pretty much. I've never seen so much love and adoration between two people and I watch the damn Notebook religiously.
B: God, I know. It's quite concerning
S: You know you love our chick flick nights so don't even.
S: Anyway, I know it's really hard right now with your feelings getting stronger and the distance not getting smaller but it will be fine. You're Beca Mitchell and I'm positive that in the end, you'll find a way to be happy twenty four seven.
B: Thanks Stace :-)
B: What are you doing?
S: Coming back from the library. I can only work on Physics for so long before it mentally fucks my brain.
B: Gross
B: Wanna bring me that Dairy Queen?
S: You're joking…
B: I'll take a peanut butter parfait
S: Fine, but you're coming with me
B: Whoa! No way!
B: I won the bet fair and square
S: Come on! I haven't seen you in foreverrr
B: We live together!
S: But I haven't seen and had a face to face conversation with you :(
S: We need to bond.
B: You're my bestfriend. I don't think we need any more bonding because I know more about you than I want.
S: I'll buy you fries too….maybe even some chicken strips.
S: Don't you lovvveeee those? ;)
B: …
B: Fine
S: Be there in five ;)
Thursday November 17, 10:45 AM
Today is a complete disaster; or in other words, a total shit show and it's not even noon yet.
Today also marks the last day before Diplo's highly anticipated album drops at midnight tonight and to say that Beca isn't biting her fingernails down to her nubs would be a damn lie. Honest to her word, she has put a lot of time and effort into this album; all the blood, sweat and tears to making this album an album to shock people. Not only does she have her own fans to live up to their expectations but she also has Diplo's fan base, and even Selena's with her being featured in a few of the tracks.
Either way and whoever it is, impressed needs to be the first thing that hits their faces when listening to the album.
At Atlantic, the kaos doesn't really come from the others around Beca but more so herself and her own brain that is going haywire in anticipation. She's already heard the tracks, already produced and created the music to the best of her ability. She's made the cover art, taken the photos and released snippets of a few unheard songs to her Twitter and Instagram page.
The propaganda, polishing every last track to mix and master to perfection. Everything that needed to be done to perfect the album has been done; more times than necessary she might add.
It's just the dreadful wait until it drops that's eating Beca alive with uncomfortable overfilling nerves and right now as she sits at her desk twiddling her thumbs, not really having any reason to be here, she just really wants a hug and to be reassured by a sweet voice telling her that everything is going to be okay.
And of course the only person she wants this from and the only person who would be able to ease Beca's stress is unfortunately two thousand miles away doing God knows what.
Beca hates this.
She really wishes that signing the waiver to a long distance relationship would inform her about the this painful torture she has to experience, now more than anything. Yes, Chloe and her talk daily-even hourly- and that itself has its pulses. But a virtual kiss or hug or cuddle can only comfort someone for so long until real, physical contact is needed like a drug on a withdrawal.
Beca throws her head back with a sigh practically reaching her breaking point for the day. Vibrations across the table from where her phone sits startles her back into position and she quickly swipes to answer the call when Chloe's name lights up on her screen.
Thursday November 17, 11:05 AM
"Chloe hi!" How relieved she is from getting the call is shown through Beca's voice.
"I don't know how and I don't know why but something tells me that you're freaking out about the album release." Even by just the few seconds of hearing Chloe's angelic voice ring through her ears already cuts the nerves swimming in her body by half. There's a sense of security she feels when talking to Chloe; one that she has discovered from the very first time she heard the time stopping voice.
She smiles into the phone pressed to her ear and gets up to take a walk around her office because sitting still is the last thing she wants to do right now. "I'm really glad you called." She wishes she could verbally explain to Chloe how much she means by this. It feels like matching boulders were just lifted from her shoulders, allowing her to take her first real breath of the day.
"I'm really glad I called too because who knows what would've happened if I didn't. I can already picture you pulling your hair out by the scalp."
"Not exactly. It's more like biting my fingernails off and feeling like I'm going to throw up everytime I open my mouth." Beca snickers, hiding the honesty behind it because it is more than the truth. She has always been prone to get nervous but this is something else.
"Why are you so nervous?" Chloe seems truly surprised that Beca is close to having a real life panic attack. Usually when they are around each other, Beca keeps up this ultimate, hard ass exterior that isn't afraid of anything. So ideally when hearing that Beca is at her breaking point, it's not a shock that Chloe is taken back. "You've proved yourself to get here, Beca. I don't know what I have to do to get this through your mind, maybe tattoo it to my forehead but, babe, you're the most talented person I have met." Even if Beca didn't want to believe everything Chloe was saying, she wouldn't be able to because the level of honesty wrapped inside Chloe's voice is at an all time high.
Beca sighs heavy into the phone when she is finally able to take a seat in her desk chair. She starts her sentence off with a "but" but isn't able to spit another word out before Chloe hastily cuts her off.
"No buts Beca," Chloe asserts sternly and her tone morphs into her stern teacher voice, which Beca finds highly attractive despite her confidence being at rock bottom. "Here's the deal, tomorrow when the album drops, people all around the world are going to love it because you're an absolute genius when it comes to music and if they don't, obviously they need to get their hearing checked because what you produce is something magical."
Beca curves a small smile, feeling the swarm of butterflies being uncaged and starting to flap in and out between her ribcage. Chloe's not done though.
"Then, you're going to get your cute butt down here to Atlanta so we can celebrate properly, millions of miles apart, and spend the entire weekend stress free with swimming and yummy food."
"I'm pretty sure me meeting your parents is going to be just as stressful, maybe even more than this record," Beca counters with a snort and at least now she is laughing. The album isn't even on her brain anymore, which is a ton of weight lifted off her shoulders and instead, the thought of embarrassing herself around Mr. and Mrs. Beale is a thought she now can't shake away..
"They're going to love you," Chloe assures sweetly. "And I love you very, very much. No matter where your album makes it on the charts…..though I see it making number one within a couple days," Chloe adds and Beca laughs out loud. Her girlfriend is so damn optimistic.
But also extremely honest.
"Thank you. I really needed to hear this," Beca straightens to say this as sincere as humanly possible. She feels better after talking to Chloe and not like she is about to have a full out panic attack. "I wish you were here right now. I could use one of your insanely tight hugs."
"Don't worry. I have a ton saved up for when I see you again." Chloe giggles and Beca can just imagine the way her eyes crinkle in that adorable way and that beaming smile that shines brighter than the sun. Sucks though not being able to see it in person.
Only a few more days.
How hard can that be?