Two weeks after Roxanne first began her training with Makarov, she looked back in her journal while she waited for her breakfast. Reading each entry let her relive what she had learned and gone through that day, and it let Roxanne estimate how much she had grown.
In the fourteen days she had been training with Makarov, her body had already begun to change. She was eating more as a result of how much more active she was, and what little fat she'd had on her body was swiftly disappearing. She could already see that her muscles were becoming more defined. And her muscles had toughened so she didn't hurt as much at the end of the day, but she still took at least one long soak in her tub each night.
She also slept better now, and although she was still plagued occasionally by nightmares of her brother and friends, they were becoming less frequent. As a result of the better sleep, she had more energy during the day. Granted, that extra energy didn't last very long, but at least she had it for her morning meditation and the following self-defense training.
She also saw improvements in her performance with the lessons themselves. Where she had struggled on the first day, now she was capable of falling safely from the standard positions. She had better motor control, more physical strength and endurance, and she could judge distances better. Makarov had even started her on the basics of punching and kicking without losing her balance - only one type of punch, and one type of kick, but he'd been very clear that simplicity was her best friend right now and mastery through repetition was more important than finesse or complexity.
As to the meditation, she'd improved in leaps and bounds, and Makarov had been both surprised and pleased by her progress. He'd exclaimed that she must be a naturally meditative and introspective person, and by the end of the second day had expanded her training to include sorting out her emotions and contemplating her motives and reasons as part of her self-discovery. She had to find a memory where she had done something that puzzled her, or she regretted, or she was happy about. Then she had figure out why she felt that way and what she could have done differently. This lesson was no where near as easy as it sounded, because Roxanne had a terrible memory with things like that and because she honestly didn't know what she was doing wrong until Jacob pointed it out. Once he did, she always tried to change so that she didn't make that mistake again.
Then, two days ago, Makarov had added in the last skill, searching for her soul. Unlike the previous steps, searching for her soul didn't come naturally to Roxanne. She hadn't been able to identify what she was actually looking for or where she should be looking. Until last night, when she thought she had stumbled across it.
Closing the journal as the food arrived, Roxanne set it to one side as Mira handed over her breakfast. In the past week, her pre-ordered meals hadn't changed. Breakfast was comprised of two eggs on toast made from a rick multi-grain bread, cottage cheese and pineapple slices, three slices of bacon, a tall glass of orange juice, and a matching glass of milk.
Lunch was a little stranger - water to drink was normal enough, but the food itself was Earthland's equivalent of avocadoes, mixed nuts and dried fruits, and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. She'd been mildly surprised to see how similar Eathland's sandwiches were to the ones back home at first, but now she relished their familiarity and always saved them for last.
Dinner was a leafy dark green salad with cucumber slices and tomatoes, bread with butter, and some kind of meat dish. Snacks were limited to fruits, usually apples, oranges, and bananas because they were easy to transport and digest. There was a bowl of them in her room and on her table during her breaks.
Roxanne had, of course, wondered why Makarov had come up with such a specific menu for her. Eventually, she'd realized it was because she needed it - not only was she still growing, but she was much more active than she'd ever been before. Her body required a growing amount of not only quality food but also in increasing quantities; And as much time as he was already spending on her, he didn't have any left to spend on designing a new meal each day. A limited menu was his only feasible choice.
Roxanne sighed, drinking the last of her juice. Glancing up from her plate, she checked the time and found that she still had a little while before Makarov was supposed to arrive. Retrieving her journal, she skedaddled upstairs. Once in her apartment, she put it away in the end-table by her bed and ran back downstairs. Glancing at the clock again, she went over to Lucy, who'd moved out just the day before.
As Roxanne had expected, she had chosen the waterfront apartment and Roxanne had helped Lucy with the move as much as she could; which wasn't much, considering how full her days were now. Luckily, since Lucy had so few possessions at this point, it was an easy move. But Roxanne had wanted to help, so Lucy had let her wheel the suitcase and hold a few bags while Lucy had taken care of the paperwork.
Roxanne talked with Lucy until Makarov opened the doors. Seeing the guild master's silhouette in the morning light, she waved goodbye to her friend and raced to her mentor, then the pair set off for their usual training spot.
Once at the park, the two sat in their places under the tree. There was silence between them. Roxanne had long since learned what was expected of her, and she didn't need to be told what to do anymore. She relaxed into her favorite resting position and closed her eyes, focusing her mind first on slowing her heartbeat and evening her breathing as she banished thoughts from her mind. Then she began to search for her soul.
Roxanne couldn't explain what she was doing while she was searching for her soul. Words were difficult to fit into such a process. With her eyes closed and her mind quiet, she could focus on imagining a mini version of her that travelled throughout her body and her mind. It seemed to work.
She had started on searching through her mind first, thinking that the soul would reside where a person's memories were stored because experiences shaped a person into who they are. As she explored, she often ran into memories and she would be pulled into them to relive them all over again. Some of them were harmless, an assignment she forgot to do or a word she should have said during an important dinner meeting, while other others hurt deeply because they highlighted an interaction between herself and Jacob, Melody or Nicole. That's not to say these memories were traumatizing. They hurt because she missed her brother and friends so deeply.
She wasn't expecting much of a reaction to the few memories involving her parents, but she was shocked by how much she missed her mother. Sure, the woman didn't seem to have a maternal bone in her body and she always prioritized work and social obligations over her children. But Roxanne came across a memory from when she was about three. She had fallen and scraped her knee. To her surprise, it wasn't Jacob who had been there to place the bandage on the wound. It was her mother. Little Roxanne had been overcome with feeling-thoughts that were all about impressions and not words; Older Roxanne managed to piece them together. She knew that her mother loved her and she felt safe.
That realization opened a hidden floodgate and Roxanne was swamped with other instances where her mother had proven that she would always be there for her, and that she was loved. Roxanne had pulled away from the trance to cry from the sudden ache.
Eventually, she had searched every corner of her mind and relived nearly every memory she had and there was no sign of her soul. So maybe it was hidden somewhere in her body. But where?
She'd thought she'd found it while dreaming last night, somewhere in the center of her body, near what Master Makarov had called her solar plexus, but before she could analyze it the alarm lacrima had given the command to wake up. Today, however, she knew where it was and what to search for.
She found it quickly, lodged just below her ribs between heart and stomach. Now that she had time, she could examine it more closely. To her surprise, it reminded her of the souls in the anime Soul Eater; A colored, fist-sized orb hovering in the center of her being. It was a cyan color with shifting streaks of sky blue and the edges were a sharp white. It moved slowly, languidly, not really changing position or shape but it was clearly still alive. It kind of reminded her of water in a glass container. Like a fishbowl. She reached out to it, wanting to dive into it to learn more, hoping she'd learn more about her own personality the way delving into a memory had allowed her to relive it and discover what she hadn't known then.
But the instant she touched her soul, she was overcome by a searing, white-hot-cold pain. Her vision burned white as she felt her soul merge itself into her imaginary body. All she could think about was the radiating pain that she couldn't escape. In an effort to get away, she ripped herself awake.
When she woke, she felt the pain had more effects that before. Her limbs had grown cold and the pain seemed to be centered in her solar plexus, her ears were ringing so loudly that she couldn't hear anything and she didn't have the strength to open her eyes. Her stomach hurt as if she had been impaled with a poisoned spike, and the poison was now rushing through her body. She couldn't move, couldn't utter a sound, couldn't warn Makarov and ask for help.
After what felt like eternity, she noticed that the pain was beginning to subside. It became easier to breathe, her stomach hurt less and she opened her eyes to find Makarov watching her worriedly. She could see him talking to her, but she couldn't hear what he was saying because of the ringing. She started to sit up and ask why he looked so afraid, and in so doing disturbed the grass around her. Only, it wasn't grass anymore. It was cold and it felt like ice water. She looked down and found herself submerged in a puddle of water, barely covered with a thin sheet of ice. Her eyes widened as the ice begin to evaporate around the edges. Not melt, as it should have. It began to evaporate, starting at the edges and working its way inward.
"You did it, Roxanne!" he cried, grinning in proud surprise and causing her to blush with pleasure at the praise. "You found your magic. Ice magic. Well done!"
"Ice magic? Really?" Roxanne murmured, staring at her hands in awe. "Ice magic. That means... Gray could be my mentor, couldn't he? Oh my gosh!" She squealed, leaping to her feet in excitement. She squealed again and ran around the park. "Gray Fullbuster! Yes!"
"Now, now," Makarov chuckled after giving her a moment to vent her excitement. "There's more than one type of ice-based magic in the world, you know. Admittedly, Gray's skill is admirable, but you don't have to limit yourself to that. Mm. Though, since he is available, we might as well ask him to teach you at least the basics. Heh." A cheeky grin, as he stood up. "Teaching someone else might do that young man some good. He's not the hothead Natsu is, but he can be a bit impulsive at times. A student might steady him a bit."
"Really?!" Roxanne stared at Makarov, full to bursting with excitement. She'd never thought that this would actually happen. Gray had always been her favorite character, and now he was going to be her teacher!
"Really." Makarov patted her shoulder, looking at her with kind eyes that radiated pride and congratulations. "You've found your magic, so it's time for you to receive your guild stamp and ask Gray to train you. Now, you won't be starting on missions any time soon - "
Roxanne stared at him, confused. "But what about you, Master?"
"Ah, well, I'm afraid my time to teach you personally is at an end," Makarov said gently, guiding her back towards the guild hall. "As much as I've enjoyed teaching someone myself again, you've found your magic and it's time to get you a tutor better suited to your specific needs. However, don't think that you're all done!" He waggled a finger at her. "I taught you the basics of basics - there's a whole lot more to learn, and don't you dare start slacking off just because your teacher changes!"
"No, sir!" Roxanne agreed sharply, shoulders straightening. To be honest, she felt a little sad, knowing their training together was going to end. As hard and exhausting as it had been, she'd seen how pushing herself like that had resulted in great progress, and she'd enjoyed this experience. She didn't want that to end. "Master? Will - will I still be able to meditate with you, sometimes?" she asked as they turned onto the guild hall's street.
"Oh, possibly," Makarov said, patting her on the shoulder. "If I have time to spare, I'd like to run through a few of your lessons with you again. But I'll make no promises.
Roxanne smiled. "Thank you, Master." That was all she could hope for.
It was hard to walk at a steady pace. She wanted to bolt ahead, run headlong to the guild and throw open the doors, start gushing to Lucy and Mira about her new magic. But she didn't want to just run off and leave the guild master behind.
When they reached the guild, however, she couldn't contain her excitement anymore. "I did it!" she yelled, shoving the doors open and almost stumbling inside in her haste to tell everyone. "I found my magic!"
The guild erupted into cheers and applause. Roxanne stood there for a moment, smiling and waving before she made a beeline for Lucy, who had been joined by Natsu, Happy, and Gray since she left. She wanted to talk them first.
"Congratulations, Roxanne!" Lucy smiled, patting the child's shoulder. "I knew you could it. I'm so happy for you!"
"Nice going!" Natsu grinned. "Aye, miss!" Happy chimed in immediately after.
"Thank you!" Roxanne beamed. She turned to look at Gray, feeling suddenly shy. He was also smiling, but in an 'I'm happy for you but playing it cool' kind of way. "It's ice magic, so, um - " She took a deep breath, and grabbed his hands. "Would you please teach me? Please? I promise I'll work hard and do everything you say!"
Gray blinked at her, stunned into silence, eyes wide. He recovered from his shock quickly, but a myriad of subtle expressions flickered over his face. Surprise was still there, and doubt and worry too. She almost thought she saw a hint of a flattered expression, but it was gone into a kind of not-quite-a-smirk too fast for her to be sure. "I guess I'm the best you've got, huh?" he said, grinning crookedly at her.
Roxanne didn't just beam at the acceptance. She glowed. "Thank you!" she squealed, throwing her arms around his neck as Natsu laughed and Lucy smiled and Happy commented cheerfully on Gray's stunned-again expression.
Once Gray disentangled himself, Lucy handed Roxanne a compact mirror from her purse so she could watch as Mirajane placed her guild stamp over her neck and pressed gently. When she lifted it away, the area glowed for a second before the shape became visible. What set it apart from the other stamps was the color. It matched the color of Roxanne's soul, cyan with streaks of blue and it was bordered with white. She smiled as she examined the mark, getting used to its presence, letting the symbol seep into every corner of her mind. The stamp was hers, and she was a Fairy Tail mage! Her dream had come true!
Unbidden, tears filled her eyes and she had to put down the mirror to wipe them away. She felt someone hug her and she hugged them back as she cried harder.
Even back on Earth, she'd always dreamed of being a Fairy Tail mage. It hadn't been even remotely possible, just a silly fantasy, a game of make-believe that her friends and Jacob had played along with. She'd admired Lucy's will to leave the home that trapped her, had gasped in awe at the glory and wonder of magic, had giggled with her friends over the guild's silly antics, had begged Jacob to let her stay up just a little longer, please, just one more episode -
Even when she'd arrived here, becoming a Fairy Tail mage had seemed a distant dream. Something she could work towards, but still not real. The way thin black outlines weren't real, and flawless skin wasn't real, and flying blue talking cat-people weren't real. It still felt like a dream, and whenever she woke up she was surprised again that it wasn't.
She never wanted to leave her friends and family behind for this, and the two weeks of hard work and self-discovery had been utterly exhausting, but...
This was real. It was really, truly real, the proof of it dyed into her skin.
What else could she do but cry?
Makarov remained by the door, watching everything. He was happy for her. He'd hoped for - expected - another week or two with her as his apprentice, but he wasn't upset that it had been cut short. Roxanne was a fast learner and she was dedicated to everything she did, so it had only been a matter of time before she became a mage. To be honest, he was almost unreasonably proud of what the child had accomplished in such a short time. Oh, physically she was learning no faster than any other child of exceptional dedication, but spiritually? Her progress had been astounding, and it had taken quite a bit of willpower not to swell her head with praise, or gush about her progress while he was deep in his cups. Other than Laxus, he hadn't trained more than a handful of his children into discovering their talents himself, and it had been a very fulfilling experience. He felt a bit of regret that he couldn't continue her education personally, but this really was the best solution.
After a few minutes, Roxanne seemed to pull herself together. She pulled away from Lucy, wiped her eyes, and flung her arms around Gray's waist, much to his surprise. He stiffened and she didn't have to look up to know that he was probably freaking out a little, not sure how to react. "Thank you," she whispered, and almost immediately felt him relax. She couldn't see his face, but he patted her head a little hesitantly, and she imagined he was smiling. After a moment, Roxanne broke away from the hug, smiling like crazy. "What's the plan, Master?" she asked, and squealed again just a bit. She had just called Gray her Master, and her fangirl mode was in full swing.
Gray flinched a little. "First off, don't call me that. Gray's fine, okay?" He looked to Makarov, who nodded encouragingly. "Finish today's training with Gramps. Tomorrow I'll have a better answer for you."
"Yes, sir!" she replied eagerly, bouncing in place with a grin before racing off to Makarov, still smiling. He clapped her on the shoulder and led her back to the park, talking to her about celebratory ice cream after their exercises.
As soon as they were gone, practically the whole guild swamped Gray.
"Way to step up and be a man!" Elfman said in stout approval.
"How's it feel, having a cute girl apprentice?" That was Wakaba, already rosy-cheeked from drinking.
"Looks like you've got a fan!" Lucy smiled. "I thought she was going to explode for a minute there."
"Don't forget to keep your pants on, Gray!" Mirajane reminded him.
"What's the plan, 'Maaaster'?" Happy teased.
All of the voices converged on Gray, flushed at the attention, and he suddenly felt caged as everyone bore down on him. "Shut up!" He yelled to cut through the commotion. Silence reigned and he took a moment to breathe and calm down. Mastering himself, he stood. "I don't know what I'm going to do yet, so I'm going to figure it out. If you want to know tomorrow, ask me then," he said firmly and walked off, leaving the guild hall in favor of the silence of the city library.
As for Roxanne, her training continued as usual, mostly. She was too excited to meditate anymore, so they skipped right into the physical training, and as Makarov had promised, during their lunch break he bought her ice cream as well. Time flew, and before Roxanne knew it the day was done and Makarov was taking her back to the guild.
When she entered the guild hall, she looked around for Gray and was rather disappointed to not see him. For that matter, she didn't see Happy, Natsu, or Lucy either. Frowning a little, she went to the bar and took a seat. "Hi, Mira." She greeted the older Strauss sibling.
"Hi, Roxanne!"
"Have you seen Natsu, Lucy, Happy, or Gray?"
"Gray left just after you did. He said he was going to make a plan regarding your training."
"Oh. Yeah, that makes sense." And now she felt kind of stupid. Of course that was what he was doing!
"Natsu and Lucy left a few hours ago," Mirajane continued. "Romeo came in here crying, because Macao hasn't returned yet, so they left to find him."
"Macao's missing?!" Roxanne exclaimed, not needing to fake her shock. She'd gotten so caught up in her training and finding her magic that she hadn't really thought about the fact that she hadn't seen Macao lately. And now she felt horrible. She played with Romeo every day and never thought to ask him where Macao was once she noticed that Wakaba was the one taking him home. "Oh no! Are they alright?"
"I'm sure they're fine," Mirajane assured her. "Natsu and Macao are both strong mages, and I'm sure Lucy is safe with Natsu and Happy."
"Yeah." Roxanne smiled brightly at Mirajane, feeling better. "After all, Natsu is a Dragon Slayer. There's nothing that can take him down when someone he cares about needs him!"
"That's so true," Mirajane laughed, handing Rox her plate. "Now eat up. You've got a big day tomorrow!"
"Yep!" Roxanne beamed at her and bounced in place, trying not to fall off of the tall stool in pure fangirl squee.
Just as she was finishing her food, Romeo entered the guild hall. Roxanne smiled and hopped down from her seat, racing over to the little boy. After a few minutes of mutually reassuring each other that everyone would be fine, they started a vigorous game of hide-and-seek. Two hours later, after somehow managing to convince Elfman to play the 'ogre' in their game, they were giggling and hiding under one of the big tables when Wakaba called Romeo to go home. The younger boy pouted a little - or was it sulking when boys did it? - but went along willingly enough, noting that he had homework to finish.
At that point, Roxanne decided that sleep might be the best idea. She wanted to study Fiorean runes some more but she was just so tired that she didn't think she'd be able to keep her eyes open long enough. Once she was upstairs, she bathed quickly and changed into her pajamas. She stood between her bed and her desk, debating on skipping a journal entry for that night. In the end, she sat down at the desk. How could she possibly not record today's events?
July 18, x784
What a day it's been! This morning, during meditation with Makarov, I found my soul. It was so pretty! It looked like water trapped in a glass ball, but it was colored differently. The main color was cyan, and then there were streaks of sky blue and the whole thing was bordered with white. So when I reached out to touch it, I discovered my magic. It felt horrible! There so much much pain everywhere and I couldn't move or hear or talk. All I felt was pain. But once it faded, I was able to see what my magic had produced. A shallow pond of water that was topped with thin ice, like a lake that was beginning to freeze. I have Ice magic! Gray has agreed to be my mentor and I'm so excited! I don't think I could be happier. After all, I'm Gray Fullbuster's apprentice! We start training tomorrow. What will I be doing? Will he make me keep doing my meditations? Will I learn how to really fight, not just fall, or punch air? I wonder what will change tomorrow. I have to say, though, I'm kind of sad to not be training with Master Makarov anymore. It was actually kind of fun, even if it was tiring. He had me doing all kinds of stuff so it was always a challenge, but nothing ever really changed too much so I got better and better every day. I wonder what Gray will have me do?
Oh, also, the Macao Arc began today. I wonder how much longer it will be until the Galuna Island arc? I hope not too soon. I shudder just thinking about the pain that is in store for Gray. And Lucy, and all of my friends when their arcs come! But Edolas is gonna be great! That's when Lisanna comes back! Natsu and Happy are gonna be so happy, and so will Elfman and Mirajane. Oh, I hope I'm not pulled out of the lacrima along with Gray. I'm not a very fast runner, so I'd have a hard time avoiding the Edolas soldiers. And I don't know if I'll even know how to fight properly by then. Oh no! What am I going to do during the Tenrou Island Arc?! That's seven years without all of my friends and both of my teachers! How will I train if I'm by myself? I'm too tired to think about it too much tonight, so it'll have to be later. I'm really tired! But I'm not sure how well I'll sleep. I mean, I'm bone-tired, but I'm also so excited and hyper! Fangirl mode is in full swing and I'm not sure I'll be able to turn it off. Gray is my master! Squee!
Well, I might as well try to sleep, I guess.