Chapter 5

~Gray: Part 1~

Gray: It is the color of gloom and confusion.

Tino awoke once more to the first rays of sunlight. Lately, sleep seemed to be a problem for him. He got up and mindlessly went to his usual morning routine. He went into the bathroom, splashing cold water on his face, before walking into the got started on the coffee, putting the pot to a boil. He sat down and began to anxiously wait for Sweden or Norway to wake up. He was feeling very nervous. The house felt empty and lonely with no one else awake. He didn't feel like himself today. He let his mind wander again. To no where in particular, it just wandered.

The sound of the pot boiling was heard, so he got up and started to prepare his coffee. He poured the black substance out into his mug, and then mixed in the creamer and sugar.

He began to subconsciously sing softly, his soft, sweet voice filling the crisp morning air. Sometimes singing helped calm his tense nerves.

"Mornin' T'no."

The Fin jumped and the spoon he was using clattered to the counter.

He turned to see Sweden.

"S'rry I sc'red ye." he apologized.

"N-no, it's okay. I wasn't paying attention." He laughed nervously.

"Ye know ye w're singin'?" Sweden said.

"I was?"

"Mm." Sweden nodded curtly.

He blushed with embarrassment. "I didn't realize that. It didn't wake you did it?" How did I not realize that?

Sweden shook his head, "I w's b'fore."

"Oh...Oh! Would you like some coffee?" Tino asked, "Wait of course you do, you always do, that was a dumb question. I should already know that. I've lived with you for how long now..." he rambled.

He started to pour the coffee. And he let it pour. And let it pour.

"T'no, b' c'reful!" Sweden warned.

"Ouch!" the coffee pot clattered and spilled.

...You're gonna overpour it...

The taller Nordic rushed over to see if the other was alright. Finland was shaking his burned hand. Sweden tried to examine the wound, but Finland jerked his hand back.

"N-no, it's okay. I'm fine...I'm fine. It's nothing." He turned to the sink and ran his hand under the cold water. Sweden cleaned up the mess. Finland turned off the water and went back into the bedroom to take care of his injury.

After the Swede finished cleaning the mess, he went into the bedroom to check on Tino.

-xXx-

Finland grabbed the first-aid box, and sat on the bed, aggressively rubbing ointment onto his burn, wondering how the heck he had let himself space out so badly. He had succeeded in embarrassing himself a couple of times out there. He huffed with annoyance and then grabbed a bandage. A few moments later he heard Sweden enter the bathroom.

"Ye' 'kay?"

"Yes, I'm fine. It's nothing really. Just a little burn." He started to rapidly wrap up the red injury.

"Does it hurt?"

"N-no, no not really, it just stings." He let out a frustrated sigh as he kept having to wrap and rewrap his injury.

"Lemme." Sweden gently took Finland's hands, which seemed so tiny compare to his, and carefully started to wrap it up in the bandage.

"I cl'ned up the m'ss for ye, so don't w'rry 'bout it."

"Thank you...I'm sorry...I don't know what's wrong with me...It's probably PTSD, but, I don't want to assume that yet...that's the last thing I want."

Sweden didn't reply, he only continued to carefully wrap the Fin's burn.

-xXx-

Tino hissed in pain as he aggressively tried to wrap his shoulder wound in a bandage. It stung, the bullet had done a deal of damage to it.

"D**n you Russia!" the Fin growled, "I can't believe I let my guard down enought to let you shoot me. You're going to pay for leaving this scar on me."

-xXx-

"T'no?"

"Huh?"

"'M done."

"Oh, th-thank you."

With that, they both got up and headed back into the kitchen just as the rest of household began to wake up.

-xXx-

"What happened to your hand, Fin?" Denmark was the first to notice the bandage when the family was gathered around the table.

"O-oh, it's n-nothing, the hot coffee pot just slipped and splashed me, that's all."

"You should be more careful next time." Norway said softly.

"Ye okay?" Denmark asked.

"Yes, I'm fine."

"Anyway!" Denmark changed the subject, "What do ye guys wanna do today!?"

Norway shrugged.

"I-I don't what everyone else wants to do, but I'm going to take Hanatomago for a walk." Finland said.

"Ye t'k 'er y's'tr'dy."

"It's okay Su-san. I could use some fresh air this morning."

"Ye want anyone to go with ye?" Denmark questioned.

"I'll go!" Sealand said happily.

"N-not this morning, sweetie. Don't you have some homework to finish?"

"Aww but Mama! I have all day." the English boy whined.

"If you finish this morning, you don't have to worry about it for the rest of the day. I'll tell you what, I'll make a snack for when you finish, okay?"

"Okay." Sealand replied.

"I should probably do my homework too." Iceland said.

"You didn't do any of it?" Norway echoed.

"How was I supposed to? We were gone all day." the teen defended.

"Ye sure ye don't anyone to go with ye, T?" Mathias asked once more.

"I can go myself. Don't worry about it." Finland offered a smile.

That's odd. Iceland thought, Normally he likes to go with at least one person. Maybe what happened yesterday is still bugging him and he wants to be by himself.

Tino carried his cup to the sink, and rinsed it, and then put it in the dish rack to dry.

"I'm going to get ready to go." he told his family. And without another word, he disappeared into the bedroom.

"Is he okay?" Denmark looked and Sweden quizzically.

The tall man shrugged, "He w'll b' f'ne. Do not w'rry."

-xXx-

Finland put Hanatomago on her leash, and then, wearing one of his favorite sweaters, an oversized brown one, he went out the door into the cool, crisp, spring morning air, and started down the street of their quiet neighborhood. He needed time alone to think and clear his mind.

-xXx-

He returned home, feeling much better after being outside. No one was in sight. He let the dog off her leash, and then went into the master bathroom to shower and change. When he finished showering, he dried himself off and put on one of Sweden's pull overs. He wanted something comfortable, and since no one was around, he thought, why not? He loved the sweater, it was deep blue, and it was big and fluffy and soft. He put it on over his tank top and boxer shorts, in no mood to get dressed in actual clothes. He sat on the bed for a few moments, and his mind began to wander once more.

Before long, he got up and walked to the closet. He opened it, and then pushed a stool up against, climbing up onto it, and taking down a wooden box that was on the top. He brought it back to the bed, sat down and opened it. It was a box full of old letters. He picked the one with envelope dated March 10th, 1940. He opened the envelope.

The next thing he knew, the bed disappeared from below him, and he was in cold. He was in a tent, and the ground was slushy, muddied and gross with snowmelt. There was a warm drink on the small wooden desk next to him. He was reading the beautifully written letter.

My Dearest Tino,

I hope that the odds are in your favor. I hope that you and your military are succeeding and you have the upper hand. I hope you're beating Russia. Kicking him to the snow. I hope it isn't too cold. It should not be, yeah? It's March, the snow should be starting to melt. I miss you, you know. I think about you every day. And I worry about you every waking moment. I hope the war ends soon. I hope that you are okay and have not gotten seriously hurt. I want you home. Be safe. Be home soon.

Love, Berwald.

It seemed that there was a time skip, three days flashed before Finland's eyes. The next thing he knew, the date on his calendar read "March 13". He was still sitting at his desk, he was writing another letter.

My dear Berwald,

The war is over. The peace treaty was signed in Moscow today. We did not win, I'm sad to say. But we fought our stronest. Our best. Russia had more casualties than we did. We lost a lot of land, but we were able to keep control of our country. This letter may not arrive to you before I get home. But in case it does, I want to let you know that I am on my way home. I'll see you and the others very soon, my dearest friend.

Love, Tino

-xXx-

"T'no?" A voice grasped his attention. The scene before him faded, and he was once again sitting on his familiar bed, in his familiar room. He had not even realized he was going through all the old letters. He quickly put the letter back in the box.

The lid was closed, and clasped shut. He looked up to see Berwald studying him with his vibrant blue eyes under his glasses. Berwald removed the box from under Tino's hands and then walked back and put it at the top of the closet, in the very back. Then, he closed the closet door and turned back around, meeting the Fin's gaze.

"Ye sh'ld'n't be d'gg'n up those old l'tt'rs."

You'll only be reminded of the pain and the misery and the war again. Tino finished his sentence.

"I...I didn't even know I was doing it..."

"S'okay. C'me on. Let's go m'ke some snacks. Ev'ryone's g'nna b' hungry for 'em."

"O-okay...give me a second to put on something modest."

"T'no?" Sweden said. He was looking at the small form practically swimming in the large blue pull-over. It made him look way smaller. And absolutely adorable.

"Yeah?"

"Ye..." he trailed off, Ye look cute in that sweatshirt.

"N-nothin' n'vr'm'nd."

"O-okay..." Sweden turned to leave the room.

"W-wait..."

"Mm?"

"I...I don't know if...I'm okay...I need a hug."

The tall man walked back over and pulled the smaller one into a warm, comforting embrace.

A/N: Okay! Time for a history lesson: The Winter War was a conflict between the Soviet Union and Finland, from November 30, 1939, to March 13, 1940. A peace treaty was signed in Moscow that ended it. Finland lost a lot of land, but the Soviet Union had more casualties. And Finland was able to keep control of their country all the same. That's all the info that is needed for now for this chapter. I'll go more in depth later. Also, I know that any war can be a very sensitive topic. I will be as careful and as historically accurate as possible, I promise. I would hate to offend anyone. And if I do, I am so so very sorry! It would be completely by accident. It's just that I'm obsessed with history, and I think it's very interesting to learn about it. And writing about it helps me to learn and to expand my knowledge. So with that said, I hope everyone will enjoy reading this!

Psychology lesson: Post-Traumatic stress disorder has a lot of symptoms. I am going to cover as many as possible, and even all of the different symptoms in this story. The one that I have started with that will be covered over the span of a couple of chapters is called Dissociation, "which can include out-of-body experiences or feeling that the world is "not real" ". I find this to be slightly confusing, but from what I understand, it is basically zoning out to a point that you don't realize what you are doing until you've actually done it. It's like subconsciously going about something without knowing. Your thoughts wander very far away from you, and it is like you are awake but you think you're dreaming. I think I explained it correctly. If I confused you, please ignore this rambling. It was easier to understand once I was reading/writing it.

Also, keep the reviews coming! And, question of update, what element of history do you find the most fascinating?