A/N: First of all, big thank you to all my followers and favorites and reviews (oh my!) for this story! I'm so happy everyone is enjoying this so much! Here is the weekly update. I guess you could call it that, although this was updated the Sunday before last so it's been a bit more than a week, but still. I apologize again for the slow updates, it's kind of hard to work on four stories at a time, lol. Especially when you are so busy with actual life that you struggle finding time and energy. Don't worry though. I am a stubborn child, so I refuse to abandon my stories, so count on updates!

Turvallinen ja Vakaa

Chapter 7
Gray: Part 3

Tino was resting on the couch in the quiet family room. The rest of the Nordics had dispersed, and the day was slowing down, as 21 hours crept up on them. That was about the time when the household was simmering down, and preparing for bed. A family sitcom was playing quietly on television. He was reposing on a pillow against the arm of the couch, with his legs fully extended. Both of his arms were wrapped protectively around a sleeping Peter, the steady, rhythmic rise and fall of his chest against Tino soothing him as the boy slept. The small-statured micronation was resting on him, curled up. A warm blanket covered them both.

Tino smiled fondly at his son, hit with a bit of nostalgia as he remembered the day Berwald brought him home. He was physically the size of a seven or eight year old. He had been so tiny. He had grown considerably since then, as he was now the physical age of a twelve year old. However, he was still a very small twelve year old, as he had not hit his growth spurt yet. Tino knew he would cherish, would live in the moments of Peter being small enough to hold while they lasted. Because once he grew up, that wouldn't be able to happen anymore.

Tino sighed, and smiled again, rubbing Peter's back.

The sound of the kitchen door opening and someone entering the living room caught the Fin's attention. He looked up to see Sweden coming into the room with a steaming cup of coffee. He walked over and handed it to the Fin.

He took it with a warm smile, "Thank you."

"It's d'caf. I figured if I made r'g'lar ye wouldn't b' able t' sl'p. Careful wh'n ye drink it, s'still hot."

"That's very thoughtful of you." Finland smiled. He held the cup, warming his hands, and inhaling the strong smell of the beverage.

"E's sl'p'n." Sweden indicated Peter.

"Oh, yeah," Finland chuckled.

"S'cute." the Swede said, "Like m' wife."

Finland blushed, "T-thanks Su-san." he answered awkwardly.

"'m g'nna c'rry 'im t' bed. Then 'll come sit w'th ye."

"Okay."

Sweden nodded, and then bent his tall form over the couch. He carefully positioned his hands around Sealand's small body, and lifted him gently from his resting spot on top of Finland. He draped him over one shoulder, keeping his protective grip. The boy made a small noise, before adjusting himself in a sleeping state. Sweden turned and carried him up the stairs into his room.

-xXx-

Sweden lowered Sealand carefully into his bed, and tucked him in. He double checked that he was situated and asleep, before saying a soft, "G'night son," and then turning to leave the room.

"Dad...?" Sealand's sleepy voice broke the silence.

Berwald stopped and turned around, "Ja?"

Large blue eyes were fixed on the tall, blonde man in the dark. "I-is, i-is Mama gonna be okay?"

Berwald was silent for a moment as he tried to figure out how to respond. He wasn't convinced if Tino was okay himself, and he was quite concerned about him. He didn't want to worry the English boy, but he also did not want to lie to him either.

So he replied simply with, "Mmm. D'n't w'rry," he said, "Sl'p w'll. G'night, son." and then he turned and left the room before Sealand could press the matter anymore.

-xXx-

When he got down the stairs, Tino was sitting up with the blanket covering his bottom half, sipping his coffee slowly, holding the mug with one hand. He was looking at the television, however, Berwald could clearly tell that he wasn't paying attention. He was in another world, with his mind wandering aimlessly. He could see him mindlessly tapping his blanket-covered thigh with his fingers, and he could tell that he was paying attention to nothing. It was as if he was disconnected from reality, as if he was physically there but mentally not. It reminded Berwald of a stiff statue...a mere specter even. His mind...his spirit...was gone, but his body was still there. And he hated it. It worried him to no end.

He wasn't going to let the sweethearted Fin stay like that for any longer. He slowly walked to the couch, and laid a hand on his small shoulder. The Fin stiffened, and jumped a bit, before turning and locking his violet gaze with the cerulean one.

"O-oh...i-it's j-just you..." he let out a nervous chuckle.

I scared you again. "S'rry..." Sweden said lamely.

"For what? What do you have to be sorry for?"

"Sc'red ye."

"Oh n-no no no, you're fine...it's fine..." he trailed off and took several sips of his coffee, suddenly worked up.

Berwald sat worriedly down beside him, close enough so their shoulders were brushing.

"T'no...?"

"It happened again Su-san...I dissociated myself from reality..." he continued, covering his face with his hands, "It keeps happening...at the most inconvenient...most awkward times. I'll just completely zone out and forget what I'm doing...and then I wake up again and something has been done...whether it be dishes, cooking breakfast, cleaning, working, meetings or simply sitting around...it just...happens. It's been happening since last month after the park incident.

It went away for a little...but then...today happened...I was disconnected from reality for an entire day...I thought I was dreaming...but I wasn't...This morning, I couldn't even remember making eggs or getting dressed! And this afternoon... I...I was polishing my gun, Su-san! Denmark had to coax it from me! Then I forgot who's turn it was to cook.. Everything felt odd...and everything looked blurry...disjointed...and your voices when you talked to me sounded like echoes...And then...this evening I panicked...the last thing I remember before my episode was sitting on the couch beside Emil, was it Emil? Or was it Lukas...? I don't remember...but he was channel surfing and passed the history channel...then the next thing I know, I'm up from the couch crying out in Finnish...and I was back...back in the dead of winter in Russia...running through a white baron landscape with cries, gun shots and explosions all around me. I could hear them but couldn't see them...and I started to panic even more...and then I sunk to the snow-covered ground, and hugged myself...shaking... amd the next thing I knew, I felt cold water on my face and I woke up and I was home...on the couch with all of you guys around me...I was in tears...I was confused...and everyone was terrified...and Peter was crying..." He trailed off, again, "I'm so sorry...I made you all so scared..." He took a few quick breaths,

"Su-san...I'm afraid...I know that's dissociation...it's back to haunt me...Su-san..." He trailed off again, and soft sounds of weeping...a sound barely audible, escaped his body.

"T-T'no..." Sweden frantically tried to figure out how to calm him down. He hesitantly put an arm around him and started to rub his back, "Tino...s'okay...s'alright..." He didn't know was else to say. He just sat there silently and rubbed the Fin's back, listening to the quiet crying, until the smaller man calmed down a bit. He looked up at Sweden with puffy eyes and a blotchy face. The Swede handed him some tissues so he could blow his nose, dab his eyes, and wipe his face.

"Th-thank you..." Finland forced a pitiful smile, "I'm sorry...you had to see that..."

"S'okay. W' 'all n'd t' cry sometimes."

Finland smiled again.

"D'ya feel b'tt'r n'w?"

"A little...but..."

"Don't w'rry 'bout PTSD," Sweden reassured, "Y'know...yer symptoms h've to b' th'r' f'r a few months til th'y c'n b' c'nsidered PTSD."

Finland nodded.

"S'only been one. C'ld jus' b' a phase, y'know."

"Maybe..." Finland replied, not convinced but slightly hopeful. However he had a hard time feeling hopeful after the day's events.

He yawned.

"C'mon. Let's sl'p. Ye need it."

Finland nodded, more than happy for the day to be over.