Turvallinen ja Vakaa
Chapter 10
Red: Part 2
Tino was putting Hanatomago's blue harness on. Berwald was standing off to the side, holding the leash. Tino clipped the buckles, and then clipped the leash onto the D-ring. She was panting excitedly, little pink tongue lolling out of her mouth, stubby white tail going haywire. She pulled on the leash, anxiously waiting to go out the door. Tino handed the leash to Berwald and slipped into his brown sweater that was hanging on the coat rack. He then took the leash from the taller man, and the bespectacled blonde opened the front door. Hana wasn't strong enough to pull Finland out the door, but she was trying to. Her bouncy puppy personality really showed when it came to going on walks.
Berwald held the door open, and Finland stepped out into the crisp mid-autumn morning air. The tall Swede followed shortly after, and closed the door behind him. The two friends walked in step, side-by-side, with Hanatomago trotting in front of them. There wasn't much conversation exchanged between the two of them.
The sky was a bit grey, and the leaves had changed to hues of yellow, orange, and brown. The breeze rattled the trees in their rural neighborhood, and Tino watched a large brown leaf break off a branch and float slowly to the ground in front of them. Hanatomago tried to catch the leaf with her front paws and with her tiny white teeth. Tino chuckled quietly at the white puppy's antics.
"Ye sm'led." Sweden suddenly said.
Finland jumped at the sudden break in the silence.
"S'rry." Sweden said quietly.
"Oh, n-no you're okay."
"Ye sm'led." he repeated, "'S'nice seein' ye sm'le. Haven't seen yer r'l sm'le in awh'le."
"Oh...yeah...it has been a while, hasn't it? Ever since the symptoms started coming back, I haven't felt like myself. There would be times when I felt normal but something would happen and I'd feel all paranoid again. And this last time...I...I..." Finland trailed off as the terror came back to him: The unconscious shooting, how afraid his family had been, the cops at the door...and above all how he had wrestled with Sweden thinking that he was an enemy...until the Swede's voice brought him back to reality, "I could have seriously hurt someone Su-san...a-and I wouldn't have known. If I ever hurt one of you I could never live with myself..." he trailed off, then he said, "Why did you do that, Su-san?"
"Mmm?"
"Why did you lie to the cops and take the blame for me? As an honorable soldier, I should have faced my own actions. Not...not cower behind you like some wimp and let you face the consequences I deserved." Finland studied him with his misty violet eyes, voice prominent with emotion, and rising in volume. Sweden stared with his own aquamarine irises boring into the Fin's as he tried to form a response. He knew what he wanted to say but he did not know how to say it. He also noticed something else; Finland's eyes weren't as bright as usual.
"I c'ldn't let ya."
"What do you mean you couldn't let me!?" Finland exclaimed, rather, snapped. His voice was brimming with emotion and frustration. Sweden blinked.
"Why Su-san, it was my duty!?" He was getting angry, "You would deprive a good soldier of his duty!? You would take the blame!? Why Su-san? Why? Why couldn't you let me take the consequence and let me get what I deserved? Why did you have to pay for something I did?"
"T'no...yer..." Berwald trailed off. Yer yelling... Eventually, after Finland had let out his anger, Sweden continued.
"The cops didn't do nothin', T'no. And...I c'ldn't let ya, 'cause...when I saw yer f'ce...wh'n I s'w...how d...d..." he tried to find the word, "D'straught, ja, when I saw how d'straught ye were, afraid ye were, shocked ye were...I couldn't let 'em interrogate ye. Ye woulda panicked. It woulda 'nded up w'rse. I d'dn't w'nt ye t' go through that."
"You were...trying to help me?"
Sweden nodded.
"Su-san I...I..." Finland trailed off when he realized the volume in his voice, "I'm sorry Su-san...for raising my voice."
"S'okay." His hand gently ghosted the Fin's shoulder.
Finland looked down at the cracks in the concrete. "I could have hurt someone...I could have hurt someone...I could have hurt you, I could have hurt Denmark or Norway or Iceland or Peter...I..."
"T'no..." Sweden touched his shoulder again.
The small Fin stiffened. Then, he slowly looked up at the Swede, "I have to force myself to stay alert. I can't zone out like that again. I won't let it happen. If I do I'm afraid I'll hurt someone."
"How ye gonna do th't?"
"I don't know, Su-san. But I will. I just have to be overly alert."
"Jus'..." Sweden trailed off.
"Su-san?" Finland studied the Swede.
"Jus' b' careful." He said softly.
-xXx-
The trip to the grocery store was an awkward one. The Bondevik brothers exchanged awkward glances, not saying much. After a while, they turned to each other.
"Emil?"
"Lukas?"
They said one anothers' names in unison.
The teen huffed, "Yeah? You first."
"I just wanted to apologize for raising my voice," Norway said softly, "I yelled at you in front of everyone...and I embarrassed you. I'm sorry..."
"Whatever." Iceland replied, "I just wish you guys wouldn't always keep me out of the loop. I may be the youngest of the five of us...but we're still...a family right? I deserve to know what's going on as much as anyone else."
"I understand that. But you're not the only one out of the loop. The Dane and I are just as much out of the loop as you are. I want to tell you what is going on, because you know, you're right...we deserve to know. But the truth is, I can't tell you, because I don't know either."
Iceland huffed in annoyance, "What the heck is wrong with Finland? Do you have any idea?"
Norway shrugged.
"Why won't they tell us?" Emil asked.
Norway shrugged again.
"It's ridiculous. They should trust us. But I feel like they don't."
"They don't want to worry us."
"Well it's worrying me more since we don't know!" Emil exclaimed.
"You're very loud, little brother." Norway said simply. He indicated the gazes of people trained on them.
Iceland huffed and flushed pink with embarrassment.
"Come on. Let's finish the shopping." Norway's response indicated he wanted to change the subject, but Iceland could sense his brother's frustration and conflicting thoughts, despite his stoic expression. He had known him long enough.
"Lukas?"
"Hmm?"
"You're forgiven, I guess."
Norway's response what a thoughtful hum. The adolescent felt better now. Not that he would openly show that though.
However, the unsettling questions were still prominent in both their minds; what was wrong with Tino? Why won't Berwald and Tino tell them what it was? Would he be okay? And how could they help? For it was blatantly obvious that Tino was not okay.
A/N: I'm not very please with this chapter either. I struggled with it. It's way shorter than the other ones and not a lot happens in it. Even so, I'm glad I got it out to you all. This also means that the Hypervigilence stage is going to be extended to five or six chapters instead of four like the two previous parts. Also, the next chapter is going to be longer than this, you can count on that. So, stay tuned for more!