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Chapter Four: Unexpected Moves

Sirius found he couldn't take walking the halls of the school. Every time he turned the corner, more memories assaulted him, each one more painful than the last. Even though Harry was just over a year he seemed to pick up on his godfather's mood. Since they had left the Headmaster's office, the baby had been so quiet. Sirius glanced down at him and realized why there was so much lack of sound: Harry had his mouth around the wooden base of Dumbledore's instrument, happily chewing away on it. Figuring Dumbledore didn't mind the kid banging it on his desk, Sirius allowed him to keep gnawing at it.

Students started changing classes and with a jolt he realized that school was still in session. It was, after all, only November first. He looked down at all young faces that passed him. Some of the girls giggled and pointed at Harry, who had taken the thing out of his mouth and was shrieking with laughter at the bustle around him. None of the faces showed any sign of the knowledge that the wizarding world had lost one it's best wizards last night. That Lily had lost a husband, Harry had lost a father and he, Sirius, lost a man that he considered a brother.

He scoffed at the idea. Brother. They had been closer than brothers. Regulus had never been much of a sibling to him. Sure, when they were growing up they did "brotherly" things together but when they went to Hogwarts and Sirius was sorted into Gryffindor and Regulus into Slytherin, their blood relationship deteriorated over night. They had been enemies by the end of the first week and it only went downhill from there. No, James was closer to him than his blood brother.

"Hey, did you see the look on his face when I nailed him with the bat bogey hex?"

Sirius turned around quickly to see two boys, their heads bent together and laughing. His heart lurched painfully in his chest as they passed by him, off to their next class completely unaware that five years ago it would have been him and James that were having that conversation before heading off to charms. Suddenly the mass of students became overwhelming and he had to find a quiet place.

He was only two floors down from the troll tapestry. If memory served correctly, there was a practically unused hallway that led to a back stairwell. He started down the hallway only to find others had made the discovery as well but it wasn't nearly as crowded as the main hallway. By the time he had reached the tapestry, only the student's voices were left to torment him. He tried to blocked them out and paced three times in front to the tapestry.

"I need a quiet place. I need a quiet place. I need a quiet place."

He watched the doorknob appear and had his hand on it before the door had even fully formed. Keeping Harry close to him, he wrenched the door open and slammed it shut quickly behind him. The room was small and not very brightly lit. Instead of having a chair, there was a large pillow on the floor so he could sit there and let Harry wander around the room. It had even produced some toys for Harry to play with and the lower portion of the walls were padded with thick red cushions.

Setting Harry down on the floor, Sirius dropped onto the cushion. After they decided how best to hide Lily and Harry, he had to help organize the funeral. Lily wouldn't be up to it and he wanted to take as much weight off her as possible. She would probably fight him every step of the way but he wouldn't mind it this time. In fact, he would welcome it. Anything to see that she still had some fight left in her after this.

Harry said a whole string of baby talk words and Sirius looked down to see the boy was sitting up and pointing at him with a very serious look on his face. He looked uncannily like James and Sirius rubbed his chest in hope it would stop the hurt he felt there.

"What's the matter, buddy? You alright?"

He blew him a raspberry and grinned.

Sirius rubbed his forehead tiredly. He didn't know how in the world he could fill James' shoes. He had never met someone that he was ever serious about, let alone have the desire to settle down with a family. He always had this image of himself being in his thirties and still partying hard. And that image usually had James in it as well.

Harry reached for something that was caught under the cushion. Sirius watched as Harry pulled out a small, golden ball. He turned it over in his chubby hand, a look of absolute wonderment on his young face. After a few seconds of observation, he held it up to Sirius and gave him another baby language sentence.

"This," he said, pulling Harry onto his lap, "is called a golden snitch. It's the most important ball in a game called Quidditch."

Harry looked at it again and then tried to shove the whole thing in his mouth. Thankfully, he wasn't able to get his lips half way around the ball. Sirius laughed at the antics and found himself telling the one year old all about Quidditch and how it's played. He knew Harry couldn't understand a word he was saying but the talking felt good. It made him calmer and the pain he was feeling was beginning to lessen. He had told Harry every single rule, position and foul he could think of but he still felt the need to speak.

"You remember that position I told you about earlier, the Chaser?"

Harry looked up at him with bright green eyes and fascination written all over his face.

"You're Dad was the Gryffindor Chaser here. He was great, even won the Quidditch Cup for us one year."

Harry waved the snitch around, squealing with laughter. Sirius smiled at the child's antics and the hollowness in his chest was starting to become bearable. The best way he could be a godfather to Harry was to make sure he grew up knowing everything there was to know about his father.

"I'm thinking you may want to be a seeker."

Severus stared at the food on the plate. Dumbledore had told him and Lupin to go eat something while he spoke with Lily. Severus wasn't too keen on letting Lily out of his sight at the moment, even if it was with Dumbledore. He chanced a glance up at Lupin and found the other man hadn't touched anything on his plate either. They were the only ones in the Great Hall, sitting off in the farthest corner of the room. Incidentally, it happened to be the Gryffindor table which didn't bother Severus as much as the silence that surrounded them.

"So," he said, breaking the quiet, "why didn't they make you secret keeper? Was it because you are a werewolf?"

Lupin regarded him with wary blue eyes. Apparently, after a moment's consideration, he realized he had nothing to lose by answering. "James and Lily knew that someone was passing information to Voldemort. Out of all us, I was the one with the most to gain from siding with him since most werewolves are. We never thought it would be Peter." He picked up his glass of pumpkin juice and regarded him very seriously. "What brought you to Godric's Hollow last night?"

Well, Lupin was honest with him and if he wanted any chance to be around Lily for any amount of time, he had to make nice with her friends. "I knew that the Dark Lord would go there last night. I had already told Dumbledore, which is why they chose a secret keeper anyway. I was tired of relying on other people to do what…"

"You should have done in the first place."

Severus thought it was a challenge and was going to rise to it but Lupin held up his hand in weariness.

"I didn't mean it that way, Severus. Look, the fact that you showed up last night and rescued Lily and Harry proves your intentions to me. I think we'll get much farther if we agree to put the past behind us and work together for Lily's sake."

"What about Black?"

"He'll be more…difficult. But, if you really are on our side, I'll agree to act as a buffer between you two whenever I can."

Severus sat back on the bench and crossed his arms. "Like how you did back at school? Turning a blind eye to all those hexes and jinxes?" He watched a flicker of annoyance, and possible regret, cross Lupin's face and he immediately regretted what he had said. Lupin had just offered an olive branch to him and he ended up snapping it in half. This really wasn't the way he wanted to continue his life. "I'll try to stay out of Black's way. And I am on your side."

"You love her, don't you? That's why you told Dumbledore about the prophecy and showed up last night."

Severus picked up the napkin that had been delivered with the food and pulled at a couple of the strings. Admitting to loving a woman for over ten years less than twenty-four hours after her husband's death seemed slightly incriminating. Was that what Lupin was implying? He loved Lily so much he was the one who killed James, or at least orchestrated it?

"I'm sorry," Lupin said, "that was too personal. But I do have one last question for you. If you had arrived before Voldemort, would you have saved James as well?"

It was a good question, one that hadn't crossed his mind since James was already dead when he got there. But Lupin posed a very interesting situation. If he had a choice to save James then there really was only one answer.

"Yes, I would have."

Lupin's eyebrows raised in surprised. "I thought you hated him?"

"I did and I was under the impression the feeling was mutual."

"Then why would you save him?"

Severus threw the napkin down on the table and stood up. "Because she loved him." Before Lupin could respond, Severus made sure he was out the door of the Great Hall. Thankfully, Lupin didn't follow him and without anyone being around him, he headed back up to Dumbledore's office. He wasn't too sure what any of the teachers here would do to him if they found him wandering the halls. As far as they were all concerned, he was still in the employ of Voldemort. However, he didn't make it all the way up to Dumbledore's office as the Headmaster himself, followed by Black came hurrying up to him.

"Have you seen Lily?" Dumbledore asked and Severus felt like hexing the old man right there.

"Of course I haven't seen her. You were supposed to be with her."

Dumbledore had the decency to look abashed. "She said she was hungry and wanted to come down here to get something."

"Where's Harry? She wouldn't go anywhere without him." Severus asked.

Black answered. "I gave him back to her. She said she was going to change him before coming down here to eat."

No, no, no, no. This could not be happening. How could she do this to him after he risked life and limb to save her and her son? He had revealed himself to Voldemort as a traitor and was wanted by the Ministry for being a Death Eater and wanted by the Death Eaters for being a supporter of Dumbledore. And his thanks…the woman he loved and risked everything for disappeared from underneath their noses.

Thankfully all she had was one bag to carry around. She had no idea who had gone back Godric's Hollow and grabbed some of Harry's things but she was grateful to that person. Just as she was grateful to Severus for saving both their lives. She only hoped they would understand. She didn't want to be the cause of anyone else's death. She just needed time to think, to plan and figure out what to do now. So she went to the last place that anyone would expect her to go, herself included.

She was amazed at how all the houses seemed to look the same. The lawns were all cut the same way and even the flower beds were extremely similar to each other. The monotony was very hard to ignore and she wondered how anyone could possibly live in a place like this and not lose their mind. However, this was probably a good thing for her right now. The absolute routine of things…no surprises. She counted the numbers as she passed by them, more to keep her own sanity than anything.

"Seven…six…five…four."

She stood in front of the house that was marked as 4 Privet Drive. The car was gone from the driveway and she hoped that it was just her brother-in-law that was gone from the house. If he was, it would make this much more bearable. Taking a deep breath, she pulled Harry closer to her and walked up the drive. It took a couple more deep breaths before she could ring the doorbell. After a few seconds, the lock on the door unlatched. Her sister peered around the corner of the door, shock and a slight touch horror on her face.

"Tuney, may I come in? Please?"

She looked nervously up and down the street. "Why? What for?"

"I just need to stay for a couple days, that's all T-Tuney."

Her sister's face hardened. "That freak of a boy you married left you?"

Lily shook her head. "He's d-dead. He was killed last night. I just need a place to stay until after…after the funeral."

Petunia's eyes widened in fear. "If he was killed for being…whatever you call yourselves, I don't want you near me. I will not have you put my family's lives in danger. I have a child to think about as well."

"It's not like that. They don't know about you, Tuney. They won't come looking for me here. It'll only be for a few days anyway."

Petunia looked at a loss but finally, grudgingly opened the door. Lily breathed a sigh of relief and stepped into the house. Petunia shut the door sharply and relocked it. Lily turned to give her sister a hug but Petunia brushed right past her, muttering under her breath, "Vernon isn't going to like this."