This is the chapter where things start getting a bit dark...

Chapter Five

I never thought silence could hurt this badly. When I walked into class the next day,the first thing I did was scan for Nagisa. Though that wasn't anything new, this time I felt more of an urgency. My vision came across his empty seat, sending me sinking down into my own dejectedly. When the boy finally walked in, we had barely a second until that octopus plummeted in with his usual attitude for learning.

I spent the rest of the day like that, looking at Nagisa with longing eyes, willing him to look back and tell me he forgave me. In my mind, I imagined he walked towards me at lunch and said he needed to talk to me in private, telling me anything and everything. I willed him to trust me and make the first move, because at this point I was too cautious of my own movements.

Desperation arose to the level where I would have been content if he decided to slap me in front of the whole class. Instead, he acted as if my existence wasn't even there, which hurt so much more.

I tried to get near him on numerous occasions, only to have that friend of his wheel him in another direction. As glad as I was he had at least someone else willing to steer him from danger, it was beginning to annoy me.

I'd never stooped so low as to hit a little girl, but there were other ways of expressing anger and they were beginning to appeal to me. I went home that night and slept so rough I ended up having to leave the house at five in the morning to clear my head, walking in a chalky fog with barely any light and barely any life gave me the silence I need to really think. I came to realise that I was nothing but a burden to Nagisa.

Since I had joined the E class, I couldn't think of nearly as many benefits my presence had for Nagisa as I would of liked. I couldn't even recall a single smile from him that wasn't slightly uncomfortable. I had brought only misery to him.

Maybe it would hurt me to be without him, but if he wasn't hurting, that would be fine... Well, it would have been if I had some kind of clarification that he really wasn't hurting.

This torturous night was only the first, to think what a week without him now that I knew he was in trouble would do to me. Briefly, it crossed my minds what the odds of me coming across his house were. I ended up convincing myself that I would turn a corner and miraculously find Nagisa looking out the window of a dimly lit home, running out from an attacker into my arms or simply bumping into me on a walk of his own and saying "Hi."

Of course, once again my imagine failed to be brought to life.

The next day had hope. I arrived at school before any of the staff, so I ended up slipping easily into the building I wondered why they even locked still anyway. What could I do, other than walk around, stare at Ritsu's blank screen, poke around at Koro-Sensei's desk and stick some pieces of a cut-up knife on his chair in multiple places? I soon got bored, delighting in sitting down at Nagisa's desk, tucking myself in comfortably and looking out the window he often appeared to be so rapt with.

Today was the sports tournament we had been training for recently, so to me that was an golden opportunity as the pestering Kayano Kaede would be busy with her own sports activities separate from the boys.

"K-Karma, you're in my seat." A distant voice pulled me from my thoughts.

My eyes blinked open. Dizzy grogginess made me frown. Shit. I hadn't realised I'd fallen asleep, yet when I blinked my eyes, the empty, dark classroom suddenly appeared to be half filled and buzzing with life and sound which somehow hadn't already awoken me. Before me, two bright water coloured eyes looked down at me plainly.

"Nagisa~" I chimed, leaning up, only to see him flinch away, dragging his eyes from mine submissively. The sight left me lost for words, but I didn't need them as Kayano, scowled,"listen to him and move, please Karma."

She said sweetly, knowing that she didn't need to appear as a threat. The way things were, I wouldn't dare risk exploding at her if it meant upsetting our common friend.

"Right, of course.."

I walked away, keeping my eyes on Nagisa's until I was back to my own boring seat. He looked just as downcast and drained as always.

How long would this go on? I was right before, whatever this was, it was without a doubt causing suffering for the boy. Ignoring him now would be impossible.

The tournament went well of course with Koro-Sensei's borderline illegal tactics, the heavy training and our improving skills in sports thanks to assassination training, but unlike everyone else, I was far from relieved.

This damn tournament shouldn't have been mandatory, Nagisa should have sat out, but no matter how many times I asked if he was alright and if he wanted to sit out, he would shake his head and quietly dismiss me. I was tortured by sights, the sight of Nagisa wincing in pain as he caught the ball in his way that I knew hadn't been thrown hard. The painful sight of faint purple peeking out from under the sleeve of his shirt as he swung the bat. The sight of him clearly exhausted as he persistently dragged his body as if it were made of marble across the field, not letting the class down by slowing his feet or even concerning us by letting it show on his face, but in this mild weather, with the little he had done compared to our usual training, I knew that the thin layer of sweat above his pale skin could only be a sign of pain and illness.

Seriously, the person doing this needed to be fucking wrecked into agony times ten. I would be glad to deliver their karma to them, but the only way I could find that out was through Nagisa, and it seems I'd forgotten how useful his small frame could be when it came to avoiding someone.

One moment he was there beside me, within my reach as I squeezed pass and reached out to him, the next he had vanished into a blur of other taller student in their own similar uniforms. I cursed under my breath, and looked around for him, but it was hopeless. Finding him wouldn't change a thing. It was hopeless.

While my hands were tied, someone else was using their's to hurt Nagisa

The door slammed behind me as I walked into the changing room - for once we were allowed to use the main campus' because the field we used was down away from our own. In these we actually had individual cubicles, showers and zero risk of splinters stabbing us from the walls, unlike our own.

I wanted to see some bastard fearfully cowering from me, but the sound only went unheard in the loudly cheering room of happy teenage boys.

I ended up waiting ages for a shower in the end, and cooling myself with water as cold as it could possibly come, coming out to see the last person leaving out the door.

I sighed, sinking down and pulling on my clothes at the speed desired by me, glad to be alone when I heard a hiss from the showers I had just left. The sound of an object clattering to the floor, followed by a gasp, followed by a light groan entered my ears as I left my cubicle, standing beside the one locked shower in a row of opened ones that I hadn't seemed to notice.

"Are you alive in there? Everyone's left." I informed half halfheartedly.

There was silence. But to me, it seemed more stubborn than medically induced.

"Nagisa, that's you in there isn't it?"

I leaned against the door, closing my eyes, trying to hear something other than the light pattering of water on the tiles.

"Well, if you're gonna be silent, you might as well listen to what I have to say. I-I'm sorry for acting like an idiot and forcing you to do things that make you uncomfortable. But it's not just that, for everything really, me treating you like shit and saying things I know don't make you comfortable, I'm really sorry Nagisa. I guess even if you don't say anything I'm a bad friend for not being more attentive to you. "

In my head, a total of twenty-three seconds passed before he spoke up, in a voice that was barely heard, "You should just leave me alone like the others."

"That I can't do. I know you're hurting Nagisa, and seeing you like this not being able to do anything is hurting me. The longer I stay away from you without knowing what's causing your pain, the worse mine gets. Believe me, I'd like to do as you say and make you happy by obeying you, but I physically can't."

Before I can say anything else, I hear a click, moving just in time for the door to open, revealing a shorter boy with pale-pinkish skin standing before me, his eyes glaring at the door as he walked out in nothing but a white towel around his waist.

I didn't realised how dry my throat was until it was forced to swallow, drinking in the sight of radiant beauty and the scent of fresh soap and the shampoo from the soft, clear-blue feathers poking damply from his head onto his bare shoulders.

I could feel my heart pounding me dizzy in my chest, seeing nostalgic sight of the boy that started it all. The same boy with that determined look that had made me fall in love from a young age. I'd forgotten how great he looked with his hair down like that.

The urge to reach out and pull his warmth into my arms, to run my fingers through that mess of layered blue hair and turn that face all pink with pleasure drowned my thoughts and self control until he had already stepped forward.

The only thing that lead me ashore after that, was the realisation that the bruising on his torso had gotten worse.

He had told me they would heal by now. But no, his shoulder was now clear, but the colour on his chest and ribs had only been diluted to a less vivid shade of purple, and the others had shrunk yet not disappeared. What made my blood boil was that the thin line around the top of his arm (clearly chosen intentionally as it would be covered by the sleeve) resembled fingers vicing around him. It was new, and it was most certainly not a training injury.

Finally, I could see the forming of a new bruise beginning to set in on his flat, thinly muscled stomach.

This looked the most recent. It had to be from yesterday or this morning, so there was one obvious choice.

"Nagisa," My fingers closed around his wrist, so lightly it was like holding a new born's palm, "Is it your mother. Is she doing this to you?"

All that was visible in his eyes was offence,"No. I told you it's from training and I told you to mind your own business." The boy mumbled, once again breaking free of my desperate touch and leaving me in empty darkness. Of course, I was still not trust worthy.

Another jab of guilt hit me. Another jab of pain.

With nothing else to do, I finished up in the changing room and turned off all the lights. Nagisa was likely long gone by now, so I didn't waste the energy after a long day of sports to rush home.

I took my time walking out of the school that evening, and I guess that even though this seemed coincidental, there was really some purpose in this. As if part of fates plan, as if my pleas of desperation while trying to find the one responsible had been heard, I ended up walking passed a darker part of our old school. The sports field we had played in was just beside me, in a sort of cage that prevented stray balls from escaping with the thick forest trees leading up to the mountain behind that. From here, all I could see at the foot of those trees was a floor of shadow. But no one would see at this time. Even if anyone happened to, once they saw who was responsible and saw who was the victim, they wouldn't care.

It was a perfect blind spot that would let them get away with it.

But I didn't see, I heard. One weak sound of pain emanated from that darkness, bringing my gaze and eventually my body at the fastest simultaneously silentest speed until I could see everything. Fueled by a sense that something was wrong.

That sound wasn't the kind that would be released after a single punch. It wasn't the sound you'd make after several. It was the sound someone would make after weeks - maybe even months - of abuse when they had long since given up hope of fighting back.

The light from the moon only made the shadows even darker. But one good thing about that, was that I could slip in as close as I could until I saw the inevitable sight I had been dreading seeing.

I had been holding my breath without realising from the moment I heard that first gasp. Since then, more and more sounds had followed after, leading me on a path closer to them until I was even able to hear the brutal impact of a fist connecting with whatever unfortunate place received their blow.

My fears had been confirmed when I saw six silhouettes. One was standing just in front of me, watching the scene play out like some kind of deranged prison warden, I didn't need to see his face to know who he was from that despicable superior aura he emitted. From that, I could easily fill in the blanks of the others, who like everyone else there were facing the final figure.

He stood slumped over, his arms at the side being held by the others, his head hanging down, those agonised whimpers making me wonder how these bastards could be so inhumane.

Suddenly, the silverish haired head looked up and I saw two diamond eyes looking tearfully, pleading and yearning at the figure closest to me, so close from seeing me yet so far it made the blank blacks in my vision go red.

When his lips parted, and his throat strained, that frail, imploring voice released that single name and I realised everything I had been missing before.

NAGISAS POV

I regretted leaving Karma as much as I had yesterday. A growing part of me wanting to run to him - the only person who hadn't given up on me - and apologise for everything. But how could I do that to him?

He had been so patient with me, he didn't deserve to have to put up with my weakness.

The kindest thing I could do was distance myself, not that I was strong enough to turn back and tell him this. I know he felt terrible after what he did last time, but really I wasn't angry with him at all, most people would have fun dressing up like that, but for my pathetic self of course, I was reduced to a dizzy, sobbing, sickening mess.

I bet if I was a girl things would have been different.

Maybe that way me being friends with Kayano wouldn't be so hated. Maybe that way my mother wouldn't make me pretend and grow my hair out. Maybe I wouldn't have to dress like a girl in front of relatives and maybe I wouldn't have to hide the feelings I had for-

"Ah!" I winced, feeling hands jab sharply into my shoulders, slamming me back onto the cage wall. My head turned up in shock, seeing one after the other of five figures leering down on me.

I bit my lip, the pain from my aching wounds already stinging, the anticipation of their attack already filling my stomach up with anxiety that creased my eyebrows and made my lips quiver. Not today. Not again. It was getting harder and harder to endure when the bruises just built up.

"I-It's already too late, I h-h-have to go h-home." I daringly made a move to step away, but I was slammed backwards at full force.

"You think we give a shit about that?"

"P-Please...I-"

"Shut up." A curved hand I thought would grab me reached out, but instead of grabbing me in a strange, I was slapped in the throat as I pressed up against the side, they all laughed at me flinching, many taking the time to spit insults down at me, flicking me and lightly slapping me so I didn't really have the excuse to cry out. It many have been better then a thorough beating, but it was still frustrating. With my back on the cage, I made small steps that appeared as reflexes, but really I was slowly leading them to the left, as far as I possibly could until there was no more gate behind me to trap me.

"Hey! GET BACK HERE E CLASS! WE'RE ANGRY WITH YOU!"

I jumped backwards, turning and sprinting, knowing that I was getting further and further from the exit of our school, but also knowing that they wouldn't be able to follow me all the way up the mountain's dangerous path. It was hard to see, and already bad enough to know that there were snakes lingering about that had no problem seeing at all, but I kept running until I was weaving between trees.

The comfort of darkness told me I would lose them soon, but before I could be fully comforted, pain twisted from my side, and I realised I had barely been breathing. Of all the times to be let down by more poor physical state, it had to be now instead of a game or a training exercise.

I slowed for a split second, only to be suddenly halted by a hand slipping around my collar, spinning me around and shoving me firmly (but somehow less aggressively than the others) into a nearby tree. I knew without looking who had caught me.

Although, this didn't make me any less prepared for the calculating cold purple eyes that looked down coldly at me or the strawberry blonde hair that swept them perfectly. Guilt consumed me, my gaze meeting his shamefully, knowing I shouldn't have even attempted to run from him.

"Gakushuu." I whispered, and he sighed, his friends soon catching up. I should have known he would be with them, even if I hadn't seen him behind all those boys who were much taller than me.

His finger brushed my neck, and then my collar bone, smiling down at me despite the lack of care in his eyes. Shivers ran down my spine as he spoke,"They're angry at losing to your pathetic class, you can't blame them for wanting revenge. Do it so the rest of your class won't have to suffer Nagisa, let them vent their anger."

My struggle had vanished before he had even finished speaking. As if to reward me, he looked down pleased, brushing my cheek before walking off and leaning against a tree with his hands in his pockets.

Somehow, I couldn't take my eyes from his as the others swarmed me. It reminded me why I was doing this, why I wasn't fighting back when I could probably avoid their attacks all together. Even as their arms locked mine, and as the first fist knocked roughly into my stomach, my gaze reminded fixated on the hollow, purple orbs that watched from a distance without warmth or concern. Sure, they were the nerds of the school and their punches weren't amazingly painful, but when there were four of them and they kept hitting, it eventually built up not only on the sensitised skin, but inside me, a ball of anger and pain threatening me to explode with the next hit as I tried desperately to stay quiet.

One of them suddenly elbowed my in the arm, and I cried out a little louder than before. Shit. They didn't look pleased.

"I don't want us getting in trouble, you bite your fucking tongue if you can't control yourself." a voice snarled, and the brief pause of shock was over.

"Mhh..." I groaned pathetically, the boy that captured my sight slowly bluring at the edges. Was it wrong that I wished he would hit me himself? Why would he never hurt me anymore? Was it not fun because I didn't cry as loudly? All he ever did was stand from the side and smirk slightly...but his punches did hurt the most.

"Gakushuu..!"

"What was that Shiota?! He isn't the one doing this to you so you look at me, got it?" Rough hands yanked me to face the brute before me.

It wasn't the pain I hated, it was the weakness; the humiliation.

"You're sorry aren't you?" Another equally dry hand slapped against my face, someone still ramming their fist into me, my sore wrists from a long day of sport slamming into the hard friction of the tree behind me. My knees were slowly losing their strength, I knew that at any moment now I would fall and when I did, the kicks would start. The dirt would greet my face.

I wasn't sure if I was imagining it, but at that moment strawberry blonde seemed to darken into vivid red. Too fast for my blurry eyes to see, but certainly detectable to my ears, four sharp, blunt connections could be heard.

The restrainers around me either collapsed or jumped back away from me. Finally able to look from the fifth boy spectating, I looked down to see the brutality of Karma with his fists against the four in a one sided battle. This was the side of him I remembered, the side that made me want to stay away from him, that made me fear him over so slightly. The reason someone so intelligent would ever end up in out failure class was made instantly clear before my eyes.

I watched as his bared fists slammed down into the cheek of another, not caring to leave bruises in the open like he had with me, not caring if he accidentally took out their teeth or knocked them out. I watched in a perturbed silence, breath trapped in my chest unable to be released as the offenders either collapsed or fainted completely.
And then the fifth attacker stepped forward. I had nearly forgotten about him, but when he put his hand on Karma's shoulder, and the boy turned back to face him, I saw the bloodlust we had been taught to have in his eyes when he met Gakushuu's gaze, and the wave of their hatred for each other was so strong I nearly stumbled.

"K-Karma! Stop!" I cried out, jumping in front of him a second after his swing, feeling his hit crush against my ribs like a stack of brick.

The air escaped me and I lost my grip on the ground, slipping on the mud and being yanked into the ground by gravity.

"Nagisa!" He gasped, hands draping around mine.

I could only look up at the spinning world, seeing purple eyes looking ahead smugly, though not at me. Not even thankful.

The stawberry blonde turned to leave, but before he could, Karma suddenly stood up. He took a step forward and had his fist up again.

His name left mine without me realising. I pounced up onto my knees without realising, holding onto him tightly, gripping his torso so hard it probably hurt.

"Don't hurt him!"

"Nagisa..!" He seemed taken aback, looking at him then me as if unsure, face morphing into a frown before settling on that face that I knew looked at the other arrogantly. "I've finally gotten the excuse to make this bastard fucking die for hurting you."

I'll admit, my grip loosened just a bit. My stomach trembled and I felt an actual fear of Karma for the first time in my life.

"N-No... you lay a finger on him and it's over. You won't just be expelled you'll be sent to a juvenile detention centre. You can't!"

He suddenly went still. I heard Gakushuu's footsteps as he turned and walked away, my grip clinging with a burst of strength when I literally heard the teeth that gritt so hard.

"Karma, please, it's not worth it."

His tensed body calmed. Slowly, he sighed and breathed out, all of that frustration and bloodlust diminishing as his hand pressed gently into my hair. It was just us out here now, just us alone in the night's quiet.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

I finally pulled away from his stomach, looking up at him in the darkness. Only now did I realise what had just happened. Karma knew I had been lying now. He knew everything but he didn't understand.

The last of the five had slipped away, leaving just us there with me half standing. His hand found mine, pulling me up as I cleared my throat in embarrassment, my hair hiding my face easily in this lack of light.

"Nagisa?" He repeated.

"I-It's fine... thank you but you shouldn't do that again."

As soon as I was stable enough, I turned to leave, but the redhead quickly caught up.
"Nagisa you don't think they'd dare to do that again do you? Don't tell me there are others who are hurting you like that?!" He demanded, more fear and concern in his voice than anything else.

I forced myself silent. Nearly biting my lip, but remembering quickly that it had been bitten enough.

"I guess I'll just have to follow you everywhere then. I guess I'll just have to fucking destroy anyone that touches you from now on."

"Karma just stop!" My weak voice exclaimed, unable to continue with this, but unable to turn to face him either. "No one else was doing it. It was just them, but if Gakushuu wants to do that there's no stopping hi-"

"Don't say that motherfucker's name."

My eyes met his in shock. "Y-You r-really want to kill him?"

"A guy like that deserves it."

How could he say that? I was right, he really didn't understand the situation, this was why I was trying so hard to keep it from him in the first place. What did he know about him?

Nothing. Karma didn't understand Gakushuu at all and that's why he thought so lowly of him when he was really someone who deserved great respect.

"You don't know that."

"Seriously? He's the reason you're covered in bruises and suffering in silence."

"He didn't do it though, you didn't see him, did you?" I challenged.

"I didn't have to. You really think those pompous A class bastards would dare do something like that if they didn't have the son of the chairman with them? Not to mention the fact that he watched it all without lifting a finger to help."

"That's exactly what you don't understand. Everyone sees him as just the perfect son of the chairman but he's far more than that..."

My voice trailed off, realising I had maybe revealed too much. This was certified when he went silent for several minutes.

"You can say that all you like, but in the end it was him who decided to take those actions, not his father."

I sighed in defeat, regretting it when my limbs stung.

We were still walking slowly thanks to my fragility, and it was getting darker and colder by the second.
"You should go ahead Karma, I'll probably be walking for a while."

He turned and looked at me with soft, golden eyes. "Oh Nagisa~ You're really mistaken if you think I'm making you walk home alone after seeing something like that."