Chapter Six

KARMAS POV

I guess a few good things did come from what had happened that night. I now knew why Nagisa was covered in bruises and could now make it stop, even if it would be constantly irking me that one of those responsible would go unpunished. As well as that, I also had the memory I couldn't escape of the sensation of Nagisa clutching onto my waist so tightly like that, looking up at me on his knees with his wide blue diamond eyes gleaming up at me. The feel of his quiet breathing against my stomach through my uniform and his soft to the touch hair as I patted his head didn't even escape my dreams that night.

Finally, after heading home with Nagisa in the dark, I was greeted by the sight of an angered mother wondering why her son limped home at seven-thirty in the evening when the tournament should have finished at five.

Nagisa was surprisingly quiet, but I watched with careful eyes and determined that she wasn't one of those who were hurting him. (It was a good thing that was the case otherwise things would have taken a far different turn.)

Without even touching Nagisa I felt him tense, but I explained everything of course about how Nagisa had been injured in the tournament and after going to the school infirmary, we ended up staying behind quite late and limping back, though we did win - which wasn't that bad a lie.

The woman was skeptical at first, asking for clarification that I hadn't whisked her son off to some after school celebratory part, which I explained by reminding her that there was no way we as the E class would be permitted to do something like that.

I learnt her name was Hiromi, and she even invited me in while she called my parents to collect me since it was so cold and I had taken Nagisa to his home all the way on the opposite side of town.

During that time, I wanted nothing more than to be alone with the blunette angel, but that clearly wasn't happening when she sat me down at the table with a mug of hot chocolate opposite her.

Despite these comforts, she practically interrogated me on my grades and where I lived and what jobs my parents had...

Finally, she smiled and me and looked down at Nagisa who was sitting down quietly - one thing that had alarmed me earlier was the way she reached over and yanked his hair down from its up style distastefully - but that was looked over when he just shrugged casually.

"You seem like a very clever boy Karma, I wonder if you can take up a job that's recently become available."

The way she looked over her shoulder at Nagisa told me she was asking for his approval, I squinted suspiciously, but nodded and heard her out.

"I have high hopes for my Nagisa," Anyone else saying that like that would have ended up with their shattered teeth in their throat, but for her I guess she was telling the truth, so she got away with me just being annoyed, "But well... unfortunately he's just not all that smart." She laughed lightly, her hand rubbing over his shoulder lightly, though I knew there was a bruise beneath her touch. Why couldn't she be more aware of her child shrinking back so obviously? My eyes flickered to his, asking if he was alright, he just nodded behind a calm facade.

"Gakushuu - I'm sure you know him - used to do it, but that kid's already got too much on his hands as it is, so I let him off the job,"

Yet again, she had unconsciously pissed me off immensely multiple times in the last thirty seconds alone, and I had no choice but to sit down and quietly take it like a good little boy so she wouldn't want be miles away from her son.

The idea of that bastard being alone with Nagisa while I was oblivious to it all made my fists clench under the table.

"So, I was wondering if you would be able to spend some hours after school tutoring him, with benefits of course."
She flashed a honest smile, reminding me that he offensive words weren't intentional. I was the idiot that took the word 'benefits' a little too far in my imagination consequently getting myself agitated at the idea of her saying these words to Gakushuu and having these thoughts run through his mind an unspoken amount of time ago.

There was no way I wouldn't accept something like that, not with the threat of Asano willingly returning to the that place and doing all sorts of things to him behind closed doors. So when my parents eventually came, while Hiromi told them the news, I happily obliged to follow Nagisa around a tour of his small flat where I would be dropping by frequently in the future.

From then on, I begun oh so smugly walking by Kayano at the end of the day and taking Nagisa away from her to get on the train home together.

I could feel her glare on the back of my head, but when she eventually lost the image of me in her eyes as a threat to him, the green haired girl went back to acting sweetly as if nothing had happened in the first place.

In all honesty, Nagisa was a slow learner, but slow learner for me meant more of an excuse to spend time with him so he was perfect! His slow progress with each session of mine made me want to absolutely smother him and although it was easy for me to be distracted by his cuteness, I forced myself to stay uncharacteristically humble as his teacher.

I could control those feelings. Anger was something else. I noticed he was always reluctant when I was checking over his work, I only realised why the first time he got a question wrong.
The smaller boy seemed to freeze, looking up at me apologetically as if he had done something wrong. When I reached over to correct his mistake, he flinched so badly his arm knocked over his pencil pot and sent them all over the floor. He immediately gasped that he was sorry and tried to turn away to pick them up.

I told him to relax, and that there no need to be so scared after any mistake, no matter how bad it was.

He only cringed back, nervously fiddling with the sleeve of his shirt, stuttering a sorry and a forced little smile.

Eventually, even after he stopped being so afraid, I had to ask. I wouldn't let him know how truly disturbed that small slip in his actions had made me because I didn't want to worry him, but after about two weeks I asked him about Asano.

"Oh..." He brushed some hair from his eyes and fiddled with the pencil in his lap,"my mother and the chairman have actually been friends for a while, but I only found out when we were about nine. When we started middle school, I was in the same year as him so it was only natural that we became friends,"

How could he call that a friendship?

"But he was always so far ahead of me in... everything. I was a bit ashamed to be around him at school. He was even worse. The only time he would speak to me was when we were alone, so I... I asked him to become my tutor."

He looked down ashamed like he had just confessed some dark secret. The way his eyes looked down and he had a light pink blush made me feel sick. Jealous.

"Did he hurt you?"

The blunette laughed so earnestly you would have thought I had asked something obvious. "You're so serious.." He smiled at me prettily, "He was a strict teacher, and I was easily distracted so he did-"

"Nagisa that's not righ-"

"No! No! Not like that! He never hurt me the way the bullies at school do, he would only slap me and pinch me or flick me occasionally."

The image of him slapping him, pinching him and flicking him made my head turn to the side as if I had been slapped myself. I couldn't look at him. I didn't want him to see the growing intent to kill fogging over my eyes.

Sadly enough, although I had never slapped or pinched him, I could recall a few times where I had flicked his cheeks or his twin-tails playfully, I just hope he had taken it that way himself.

"Why are you always so quick to defend him? Nagisa, do you like him - I mean in a way that's more than just friendly?"

When my gaze returned to him after several moments of silence, I realised I didn't need an answer. All this time I had convinced myself that me being so envious of Gakushuu was just paranoia; that the feelings I had seen Nagisa having for him were conceived by my own imagination.

Now, seeing the way his eyes looked down as if recalling a memory, slightly to the side away from me with sadness and admiration and so much emotion they practically shone a brighter shade of blue despite the rest of his stoic expression, I knew that everything I had seen hadn't been a lie; Nagisa turning pink when he was brought up, Nagisa defending him, Nagisa's detailed drawing of him in his sketchbook and Nagisa's blazing eyes looking into his in more than just desperation as he was pinned to a tree and beaten.

The boy I was in love with was in love with the boy I hated.

"Listen Nagisa, I know this is a tad hypocritical coming from me, but you shouldn't chase around an evil bastard like that who doesn't give a damn about anyone but his own image and success."

I would have continued, having more than enough words and arguments to convince him that Asano was no good, that was if I wasn't so devastated by the news myself.

With a single glance at the mist-blue eyes averting mine, I knew that I wasn't the only one who was upset. If someone had told me Nagisa only cared about himself, I'd be angry and upset as well.

Continuing to speak about this wasn't doing any of us any good.

"Besides, you're not the only one in the world to have a wild crush," I smiled at him, letting my hand creep up the back of his neck until it was buried in his hair playfully, he yelped looking up at me as I pulled the ties from his hair, bringing dazzling blue over his small shoulders. I felt my eyes soften at the sight of him. It was easy to be taken aback.

"That's the Nagisa I first met, the one who I thought was a girl and I'll admit I had spent a bit of time daydreaming over."

He looked at me incredulously, raising his eyebrows and giggling in a somewhat restrained way,"Wait, what?"

"That's right Nagisa." I winked at him, leaning back with my arms behind me,"When I first met you I had a massive, I mean massive crush on you."

He couldn't help erupting into laughter at that, his face turning red with embarrassment, infectiously spreading to make me smile as well.

"I thought you were easily the most beautiful girl in our class, why do you think I'm always making excuses to dress you up like that?"

I laughed only to realise that Nagisa's laughter had been cut. He wore a wry smile, but his eyes were bitter. Then suddenly, his lip trembled and his hair came down on his eyes in a dark curtain.

The atmosphere changed so quickly my throat went dry.

"Nagisa, what's wrong?"

I knew it. I had said something wrong hadn't I? Had I reminded him of me forcing him to change the other day? Is that why he was so upset?

The blunette licked his lip and sunk his shoulders,"It's nothing.."

"It's not. Tell me, please."

"S-Sometimes I wonder if things would be different if I was born the way others wanted me to be. My mother wouldn't have to be ashamed when she really wanted a girl, the others in class wouldn't see me as weak and weird enough to pick on... and maybe Gakushuu wouldn't be so averse to me. D-Do you think he's disgusted by me because I am a boy? Is that what it is?"

"Stop talking like that."

He looked up at me in shock, and I was surprised at the aggression I had put into my own words.

"It makes me sick to hear you say that. I don't care what Asano thinks because if he doesn't think you're perfect then he's the one that's losing out. You're fine the way you are Nagisa, to someone like me you're flawless. It doesn't matter what other people want from you so long as you do what you want."

The times to kiss him had been convenient before. Now was one of those times. As if to prove a point, I would lean down and show him how perfect he was by putting my lips to his and appreciating him.

I could practically feel the way both of our hearts would take a synchronised leap, and the way his breath would hitch and a gasp of surprise would escape, I could practically taste his sweet lips and feel his warmth on mine.

I should have kissed him. But when his eyes looked up like shooting stars and his hair fell over his shoulders and smooth, touchable skin, I was reminded again that Nagisa had been damaged, and to be the one to fix him, I couldn't take advantage of his sadness.