Author's Note: First of all, thank you thank you thank you everyone! 100 reviews! You guys rock! Second, since I've already played around with the timeline, I'm going to do it again. I know Regulus was killed sometime in 1979 but I'm keeping him alive. That's all I'm going to say, you'll read the rest. But please, no reviews saying that Regulus was already dead by 1981...I know. ;-)

Chapter Fifteen: A Beautiful Disaster

Holly Avery watched the one year old Draco Malfoy being passed around the circle of female guests and couldn't help but think of the red haired woman and her black haired son. She hadn't had any interactions with Lily Potter but whenever she did see her, she was usually in the company of Severus Snape. It didn't really upset her as much as she let on. Sure his reputation gave him a romantic spin that made up for his looks, and she wanted nothing more than to make her family happy and safe.

Draco came to her and she followed everyone else's actions and held him, making a fuss over him. She couldn't help but draw comparisons between the child in her arms and the one she had seen around school. Draco looked up at her with curious, wide gray eyes that held a hint of fear, no doubt to all the handling of him by strangers. No matter how much she smiled or tickled him, his pointed face refused to break into a smile. She could hear Harry's laughter all throughout the school and whenever she saw him, he had a big grin on his face.

"There's my nephew!"

Holly saw Bellatrix Lestrange come into the room, her arms outstretched. Even that didn't draw a reaction from the child as Holly handed the child over to his aunt. There was something about Bellatrix that left her seriously unsettled and Holly quickly left the room. As soon as she entered into the main hall of Malfoy Manor, she ran into her uncle, literally.

"Hey there, Holly," he held her at arms length. "Are your holidays going well?"

"Yes, Uncle Alex."

"Good, good." He looked around him to make sure no one was listening. "Did you give Severus the parcel?"

"I put in the prefects common room for him. He…he wouldn't take it from me."

Her uncle nodded. "He was always cautious. That was to be expected. Make sure he opened it when you get back. Keep trying to be his friend. If you can bring him back into the fold, we'll both be able to knock Lucius out of the number one spot in the Dark Lord's circle."

"I'll do my best, Uncle."

He gave her a wide smile. "Of course you will. Enjoy your Christmas then."

"You too." She watched him blend into the crowd, easily making his way through the people that he wanted to step over to be the Dark Lord's most faithful, even if it meant backstabbing to do it. He shook hands with Lucius and acted like he always had, friendly and open. Perhaps Severus was correct when he said that the Dark Lord had no understanding of love. His followers certainly didn't.

She had seen the way Severus looked at Lily Potter, with open adoration and caring that bordered on worry. He had taught one of Holly's potions classes and had been so well spoken and articulate but whenever she was close enough to hear the dialogue between him and Lily, he turned into a stuttering, blundering moron with his speech. Despite all the training she had that told her emotions were a weakness, she wanted that. She wanted someone who would get so nervous around her, words tripped him up. And when she left the room, he noticed exactly how many steps she took to get to the door. All she saw here were masks of cold smiles, no warmth whatsoever.

"Hello."

Holly jumped at the voice behind her and turned around to see a lanky, black haired boy standing behind her on the stairs. She would have recognized him anyway despite the gray eyes and the haughty look on his face. He wasn't nearly as good looking as his brother, but standing among Death Eaters, Regulus Black cut an impressive figure.

"Hello, Mr. Black."

He humphed and came down to her level. "Please, it's Regulus. You're in your last year at school, aren't you?"

"Yes, I am. You've been out for two years?"

"About that. What are you thinking of doing when you get out?"

She was about to ask why he was suddenly so interested in her but decided, she didn't care. He looked her in the eye and he seemed to really be interested. In a room full of razor sharp smiles and double meaning words, he stood out just by being genuine. "I don't really have much of a choice, do I? Everyone in my family is a Death Eater."

He rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, we all have choices."

It struck her as a very odd thing to say, surely not something a faithful Death Eater would say. "Yes, I suppose so."

Any other conversation was cut short as the front doors of the manor opened and Voldemort himself breezed into the entryway. Holly felt as if all the air had been sucked from the room and silence fell immediately as soon as the Dark Lord entered the room. Those that were in closest proximity bowed, kissing the hem of his robe. Regulus bowed from the waist and Holly followed his example. She had never seen the Dark Lord before. Her uncle and parents had described him but nothing prepared her for the red eyes and snake like face. She saw the hem of the cloak pass in front of her and stop. Her breath stuck in her throat.

"Ah, Miss Avery, is it?"

She kept her head bowed. "Yes, sir."

"Now, now dear," he drawled smoothly, "you may look up."

She did so, hoping her trembling wasn't showing too much.

"That's better. Come here," he extended a thin, long fingered hand. "There is no need to fear me."

Her hand was shaking badly as she extended it and placed it in the Dark Lord's ice cold grip. She finally took notice of the adults around her. Her mother was in tears, her father and uncle smiling proudly. Lucius looked unimpressed and Bellatrix had a sneer on her face.

A smile twisted the lipless mouth. "I'm not so frightening now, am I?"

"N-n-no, sir."

"Tell me," he asked, leading her into the front room. "How is Severus Snape doing?"

"I'm not s-sure what you mean, my l-lord."

"Ah," he turned to everyone in the room. "Not yet a Death Eater but she already possesses the respect. What I meant," he said, directing his attention back to her, "is what is his mood like? Does he miss us?"

Severus words flew through her mind, So, Holly, are you prepared to hurt, maim, kill, back stab and torture in order to have acceptance? I thought I was but I couldn't give up my soul for that. I would give up everything, even my life and my afterlife for something that the Dark Lord has no understanding of. Love.

"Hm. I see," Voldemort said and Holly's face flushed with shame. She had forgotten that he was legilimens. "Where did he go for the holidays?"

Holly swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat. She had just betrayed Severus without speaking a word. The damage was already done. "He stayed at the school, my lord."

"Wormtail."

A small, watery eyed man pushed his way to the front of the crowd. "Yes, Master?"

"Why don't you go pay Severus a visit. No one should look twice at a rat in a dungeon."

An evil grin lit up the man's face and Holly felt her stomach clench.

"But," Voldemort held up a finger in warning, "do not kill him. That is a pleasure I wish to have myself."

"My lord," Lucius stepped forward. "We've already caused him damage. Why not be done with the matter?"

Voldemort dropped her hand and Holly quickly retreated to the side of the room. She didn't realize it, but she bumped right into Regulus. The younger Black brother merely patted her shoulder and whispered, "You did great. It'll be alright."

"Are you questioning my judgment?" Voldemort asked lowly.

Fear broke out on Lucius face. "No, no of course not. I wish nothing but an easy rise of power to you."

"Flattery will get no where with me, Lucius," Voldemort snapped, "but since it's Christmas," he spat the word, "I'll let it go. I wish to make to Snape suffer, more than just physically. And to do this, I must get to the heart of the matter, so to speak."

"And what is that, Master?" Wormtail asked.

"As if you didn't know."

Wormtail looked around the room, terrified he was about to be struck down for this lack of knowledge. Voldemort reprieved him of the fear.

"Lily Evans. I destroy her and her child in front of Snape and I effective destroy him." Voldemort turned his scarlet eyes towards Holly. "And he thinks I don't understand love."

Severus took his time putting away the ingredients he used for the lotion. He wasn't all too keen on sleeping. In fact the last time he had tried to sleep, which was four days ago, the nightmares of his past actions came back full force. He thought of using a sleeping potion but it always tended to make his mind fuzzy in the morning hours and he had a feeling he would need all his wits about tomorrow. Instead, he had taken the first night he was alone to make a large quantity of a pepper-up potion that kept him going.

Closing the oil cabinet, he transferred the lotion into the ornate ceramic canister. Aside from his wand, he never went anywhere without this. In a drunken rage, his father had destroyed anything and everything that was his mother's after her death. He burned the books that Severus' couldn't hide, smashed all the moving pictures in the house and pawned what little jewelry she had. The books, canister and an emerald pendant were all he was able to salvage of his mother. He couldn't think of anyone better to give the container to than Lily.

When everything was cleaned up and put away, he headed to his room. It was one in the morning, so he could get plenty of reading done in the seventh year's potion book and make appropriate changes to the text. He had already done that in his seventh year but new ingredients were always making an appearance. That, and it was a way to kill the eight hours that lay before him. He opened the door and immediately sensed something was off. Placing the canister on the bottom shelf of his nightstand, he drew his wand.

The fire in the hearth roared to life and all the lanterns threw out twice the light they normally did. Nothing seemed out of place and with all the light, no one could be hiding. The only thing that he noticed that was out of place was the parcel Holly had given him was opened and sitting on his desk. He didn't remember opening it. In fact, he had planned on putting it back in her dormitory. As he drew closer he saw it was black leather bound book. He stood directly over it to read the faded printing on the cover.

"Advanced Curses, Jinxes and Hexes." He bit back a sigh of frustration. No doubt her uncle put her up to giving him the Dark Arts book. He reached down to pick it up and give it to a house elf to take back to the girl's dormitory when a blinding pain hit him in the back of his head and blackness swallowed him whole.